Stop Whispering, Start Shouting!!!

[lightthecandle]

OK, so I am a 20 year old female and I have a soft, sweet, innocent voice. ( i realize it myself and people have told me as well). I hate it because when I talk, sometimes people say.."what?", "can you say that again?" constantly. what i'm asking is how do i get over having this soft, sweet, innocent, girlish voice to becoming a woman with good public speaking skills who is loud and clear??? I am shy, so i guess it might have to do with that as well. PLEASE HELP!! i do have some low self esteem as well, i guess becuase i feel like i'm not pretty enough, so that might have to do with it as well. Man, it really is hard to accept yourself and speak loud and clear. ANY ides would be helpful!

[Zukin]

Working on your vocal resonance would probably help you out. You can find more about it at this article:

What to Do for Your Speaking Voice

[Shamou]

lightthecandle...

Body posture has a lot to do with the state of mind... and with voice delivery...

If you take the body posture of someone who is self-confident, sure of herself and in control of the situation... that is how you will resonate.. and that is how you will feel...

Sounds too easy...??? Try it and see...

.

[Erin Pavlina]

Join Toastmasters. Will fix you right up.

Welcome to Toastmasters International where we are"Making Effective Communication a Worldwide Reality"

Check out a few meetings as a guest first and find the one you click with.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Join Toastmasters. Will fix you right up.
Welcome to Toastmasters International where we are"Making Effective Communication a Worldwide Reality"
Check out a few meetings as a guest first and find the one you click with.

Seconded. Toastmasters rock!

[aabukar]

First of all there is no such thing as i am not pretty ... every women is pretty just because she is a women believe in the that at first. God made us in this way

at every single moment watch for that little voice in your head that says negative things about you and stop it. replace it with a positive statement. no matter what the results are just keep your focus on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. then what? don't even ask about what will happen just do it and you will be surprised ...

[Michelle]

Learn to sing! (Toastmasters is a good idea, too)

Basically you need practice and guidance with the voice.

[chornak]

This reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld... The low talker

[Jenny]

LighttheCandle,
I had the same problem at your age. I imagine attending Toastmasters would make a lot of sense.

Otherwise it just takes time. Until you gain a bit more self-confidence and your self preservation instincts kick in all the "tricks" in the world aren't going to change how your voice projects. In my case, I got tired of my soft voice and seeming innocence actually bringing people who I didn't want closer to me closer so that they could hear my responses.

Best of luck, you'll get there.

[ken nubo]

Talking to yourself using a mirror helps.

[lightthecandle]

so, how is one supposed to go from having a soft voice/tone to having a clear, loud, exciting, assertive voice??

i say this because i feel like i don't have alot of friends because of my voice. i mean it's ALWAYS soft/sad/trembling/lacking confidence. i'm trying to change this for the past few days, but it's always sad, when i really don't feel sad.

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

so, how is one supposed to go from having a soft voice/tone to having a clear, loud, exciting, assertive voice??

i say this because i feel like i don't have alot of friends because of my voice. i mean it's ALWAYS soft/sad/trembling/lacking confidence. i'm trying to change this for the past few days, but it's always sad, when i really don't feel sad.

Pretend you are speaking to an audience on something you are passionate about. This is something you are so passionate about, you feel it is your life purpose. This conference will shape your future and the lives of the people who are listening to you. Every word you speak is a word of purpose and value. See your conversations that way, where you are speaking with confidence, and you will become so.

[Truefire]

Toastmasters doesn't offer enough practice, in my opinion. My club meets only once a week.

I think to have a strong and assertive voice really means just finding your voice, naturally. In toastmasters, I'm always reminded during evaluations that I have a radio quality voice (think car commercial deep voice guy "enjoy the ride..." I can do that), however I didn't start that way. I'm surprised by the comments, frankly. I used to be all meek mouthed and could barely talk in new situations without slurring, and then getting self conscious, then slurring, stuttering and stalling more.

So I practiced on my own. At first I did it to organize my thoughts into words so that I wouldn't be caught not having something to say. I found a quiet park nearby where I was just able to speak my mind at any volume. I did this for a few hours everyday, mostly to avoid homework. I got into the habit of speaking my mind in general and saying what flowed naturally. If I noticed that I was being weak and timid, then I was able to experiment in private and listen to my voice in different tones until I found what just felt right. I found my voice, free of any internal tension. talking this way also changes the way you think by necessity. You can't truly talk happy and be sad at the same time. So, as I kept on practicing I naturally used that voice with others, and people noticed. After a few months, new customers at my work (especially women) were commenting on my voice. It was awesome!

So, its all about practice. Sing in the shower. Talk to yourself in the car and in private. You'll look like a dork when somebody passes you in their car, so say to yourself "Oh god, I look like such a dork" with a huge grin. Voice whatever comes to mind without censorship. Jump at the opportunity to speak whenever you can, be it in class or in toastmasters. After a while, you'll be amazed by the change, depending on how far you were from your natural voice when you started. If you're shy and introverted and don't talk much, chances are your vocal chords and brain and lips aren't trained to work as well as they could.

Also through practice like free-association/thinking-out-loud, you get more in tune with what you are feeling in the moment. Usually it is what first comes to mind that is socially normal and comes across as natural. However, many shy and introverted (more so shy than introverted) people cover up or close to their initial feelings, and spit out habitual scripts and old thoughts that just don't feel right. It's fake, but they don't know it because they've desensitized themselves. And that comes across socially in subtle, mostly unconscious ways, but people pick up on it and feel like you're not being real. It's really important to be in touch with yourself, mentally and emotionally, so practice that. Most importantly, have fun with your voice in the process. Eventually, you'll love hearing the sound of you own voice resonating in your body.

Recorded on tape...thats something else

[Dusty]

accept yourself for who you are - unconditional love. Your opinion of yourself is much more important than anybody's opinion of you will ever be. Make the decision to approve of yourself. Find yourself in a situation where you feel shy/insecure, but want to say something? Well, you have a choice - love or fear... what's it gonna be? The more secure I have become over the months, the louder I have become.

In regards to your actual voice, speak from your belly. This is pretty cliche, so I'm going to trust that you know what I mean and just have simply forgotten this.

[Kaspian]

You could take lessons in the Alexander technique. A lot of actors, dancers, speakers, and musicians (including singers, of course) use it to improve their craft. It not only changes your coordination, but your thinking, too, and it has certainly made me more confident and improved my voice. Although it takes months to see obvious changes outside of a lesson, it's well worth it.

Find a Teacher

A few good articles