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| Personal Effectiveness Goals, productivity, time management, motivation, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, habits, organizing, problem-solving, decision-making, intelligence |
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06-05-2007, 03:04 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 83
 |  Embarrassed by my cussing
I am a woman in my mid 30's, have a decent job, decent friends. nice classy home and life. but i have the worst cussing habit. i cannot understand. i grew up cussing (my family was really trashy people in small town texas.) as an adult i embaress myself when it slips. what can i do? I'm probably one of the nicest people, but it's me being funny or just in general. i am not trashy, but i sound trashy. i'm sure i've lost quite a few opportunities from my mouth. what can i do? i need healing.  |
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06-05-2007, 03:20 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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That may sound strange to you but most of the time cussing is due to a lack of an appropriate vocabulary... As and example, people will say... "That is #@&% nice" instad of saying, "That is simply exquisite." So, you might try to expand your vocabulary... it could help... Good luck to you... and wash your tongue with soap... j/k   . |
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06-05-2007, 04:52 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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Well there are a few things that you can do to improve your allocutions... one is to write a lot in sites like this one... you can also have imaginary conversations or imaginary give some speeches... and, always use the dictionary to find out the exact meaning of words that you are not completely familiar with... Every word is a tool to express ourself and many words contain a whole concept... (if you do not have a word for something... that something does not exist for you)... so, words are important... You have a lot of potential... just don't let it go to waste for a lack of communicating tools... namely "words" I'll be looking forward to reading your posts...  . |
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06-05-2007, 09:16 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 25
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I recently found a great book on the internet which you can download for free. It is excellent for mastering speaking and vocabulary. here's a link at project gutenbergFifteen Thousand Useful Phrases by Grenville Kleiser - Project Gutenberg Wish you all the luck!!! |
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06-05-2007, 02:47 PM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Detroit
Posts: 772
| Quote:
Personally, while expanding your vocabulary is certainly a positive thing and focusing on it can help to give you alternatives and take your mind off the cursing, I think the core issue is unlearning the "normalcy" of cursing and modifying how you express yourself. This can be done regardless of whether you learn new vocabulary or not. You simply have to catch yourself and change some old habits. Steve has written a lot on this. Perhaps his 30 days to success article would be a good starting point. I would also suggest making your intentions public, especially to those around you that don't habitually curse. That way, people will call you out on your cursing, which will hold you accountable and help change this habit. If all else fails, similar to Shamou's suggestion, just hang around my mom for a while. After enough cursing, she'll wash your mouth out with soap (think Jean Shepherd's "A Christmas Story", where Ralphie is sitting in the bathroom with a big red bar of soap sticking out of his mouth), then you'll have a REAL incentive to stop. | |
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06-05-2007, 08:52 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
 The part of your post that I quoted got a real good laugh out of me... . | |
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06-06-2007, 04:45 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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You know brandi... we don't all think in the same fashion... some people think use in abstract forms... others use words... you probably use the former type... that is... you thinking process is not formulated into words... therefore you may be at a little disadvantage in your experience in utilizing words to express your opinions... A good way to compensate for that would be to make a conscious effort, from time to time, to formulate in words what you are thinking about... and, in so doing, try to use the exact word to describe exactly what you are thinking about... Practice makes perfect... . |
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06-06-2007, 01:17 PM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Detroit
Posts: 772
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06-06-2007, 01:43 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 340
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- just ask my nephew after he let loose some particularly vulgar words in my presence, I told him to get the soap, take a bite and chew. He never swore in front of me again and laughs about that punishment years later.I hope that you find a way to deal with this. | |
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06-06-2007, 03:16 PM
| #12 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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06-06-2007, 03:22 PM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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06-06-2007, 03:51 PM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Detroit
Posts: 772
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06-14-2007, 04:53 AM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 83
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My dad came out to visit me for the first time ever. (this weekend) he visits all the other kids. but wow! did that guy have a mouth on him and wow just no boundries kinda guy  wow. ain't nothing wrong with me after hanging around him but i would like to be french free and allow people to get close and see the beauty in me.. |
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06-14-2007, 06:21 AM
| #18 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 21
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06-14-2007, 01:56 PM
| #19 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Detroit
Posts: 772
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Best of luck to you. | |
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06-14-2007, 02:07 PM
| #20 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 83
| Quote:
thanks so much!
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06-14-2007, 02:53 PM
| #22 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
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06-15-2007, 04:33 AM
| #23 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 83
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06-15-2007, 04:41 AM
| #24 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
Not that what you are now is actually bad... but, acquiring knowledge will give you more options... which is the hallmark of a winner in the game of life... . | |
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