Desire to do something, can't figure out what...

[mlc82]

Anyone else ever become like this? I've spent the last month or so feeling the need to DO something and as if whatever I want to get into is right on the edge of my brain, but isn't coming to me. In the meantime, I've spent almost every bit of my free time compulsively cleaning my house of all things. I'm usually the furthest thing from a "neat freak", kind of a slob sometimes really, and this is really kind of strange when I think about it.

I haven't been able to concentrate much on my usual favorite past-times of playing computer games and studying history (I can normally do either for hours on end), like I have this urge to keep in motion but this is becoming ridiculous. I've oiled and polished my computer desk twice in the last week (yes, week) while having that same feeling of almost "getting" something but to no avail, just a big energetic desire to create something with nothing to actually focus it on.

[Shamou]

Hello mlc82...

Robert Pirsig who wrote the famous book, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" tell us that when we cannot find the answer to a question it is because the question encompasses too many elements... so, what we should do is to narrow it down...

You want to do something but can't figure out what... why don't you focus on creating a new you... a new and improved version of the same one...

That could be the most rewarding endeavor that you could ever undertake... and if you devote as much intensity and passion in it as you do in scrubbing and cleaning... the results should be spectacular...

.

[Max Power]

Your body/mind is in energy mode, keeping itself very busy, while your consciousness decides where to focus that energy.

You need to ask yourself what to do next, instead of searching, look within, the answers are right there already waiting.

Enjoy!

Max

[mlc82]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Hello mlc82...

Robert Pirsig who wrote the famous book, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" tell us that when we cannot find the answer to a question it is because the question encompasses too many elements... so, what we should do is to narrow it down...

You want to do something but can't figure out what... why don't you focus on creating a new you... a new and improved version of the same one...

That could be the most rewarding endeavor that you could ever undertake... and if you devote as much intensity and passion in it as you do in scrubbing and cleaning... the results should be spectacular...

.

Originally Posted by Max Power

Your body/mind is in energy mode, keeping itself very busy, while your consciousness decides where to focus that energy.

You need to ask yourself what to do next, instead of searching, look within, the answers are right there already waiting.

Enjoy!

Max

Good words there and thanks, the "new you" idea is kind of the macro-version of what I"m thinking, it's the first steps to really getting there that I'm having a difficult time finding.

I'm kind of stuck in my way at the moment, I have a fun job as a personal trainer and am just barely self employed with the same on the side, pretty busy and can set my own times which is great, however the pay at the gym I'm working for is below awful (I think of it more as being "Free Education"), and I don't have enough clientel on my own to keep afloat without the gym job. I honestly think that going the standard 9-5 job route, and especially the idea of specifically trading my time for money is possibly the biggest rip-off known to mankind so am trying my absolute hardest to avoid any such work, although I may have to buckle down and do it for a little while at this rate.

I keep getting this feeling as described above that I'm just a thought away from some new idea to get into as "work" which I'll have real passion toward (what I do now is definitely fun, but I don't really feel so passionate about it) and also do well enough financially to get myself by. At the moment I feel ready to take a step, but with no idea as to direction I'm kind of stuck in place scrubbing my computer desk like a madman for the time being

[JohnPlace]

MLC82, I sympathize with you. I certainly know what it feels like to feel adrift and unmoored. As Meat Loaf would have said in the 70's (in the immortal words of Jim Stein), it's like being All Revved Up with No Place to Go.

I understand what it's like to have an enormous, untethered drive to do something ill-defined, especially with regard to my professional life.

I wrote a 6 part article series explaining how I got myself out of the funk I was in. It may not fit your situation precisely, but there might be something helpful there.

Here is the first article in the series: Synergy, the Key to Greater Energy and Happiness

I wish you the best of luck and am confident you will sort it out.

[mlc82]

Originally Posted by JohnPlace

MLC82, I sympathize with you. I certainly know what it feels like to feel adrift and unmoored. As Meat Loaf would have said in the 70's (in the immortal words of Jim Stein), it's like being All Revved Up with No Place to Go.

I understand what it's like to have an enormous, untethered drive to do something ill-defined, especially with regard to my professional life.

I wrote a 6 part article series explaining how I got myself out of the funk I was in. It may not fit your situation precisely, but there might be something helpful there.

Here is the first article in the series: Synergy, the Key to Greater Energy and Happiness

I wish you the best of luck and am confident you will sort it out.

I really liked the article! The American Zombie article was also right on in my opinion... I just read the one on "finding your message" and that's where I think I'm just stuck for the moment. Kind of a long story, but I don't feel like I really have much of a base to gain a message from... I actually very recently stopped having bouts of horrible depression which started after I realized I no longer believed in the religion I was raised in (and that pretty much WAS the foundation to all of my thoughts and beliefs before) and during that time was very pessimistic and cynical toward just about everything. I really enjoy the mindset I have now compared to then, however I still don't have an idea of what to think when it comes to any kind of "meaning" of being alive, sense of any real purpose, and etc.

I think my main concern for the short term (over the next 6 months roughly) is to find a new way to make a decent amount of money to cover my bills and needs without having to send myself into the prison that has become the typical American workday, also known as "Office World". I can't help but feel though that if I had a more solid foundaton for myself existing in the first place, everything else would fall in order much faster. Life might be easier if I didn't like the think so much

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by mlc82

I really liked the article! The American Zombie article was also right on in my opinion... I just read the one on "finding your message" and that's where I think I'm just stuck for the moment. Kind of a long story, but I don't feel like I really have much of a base to gain a message from... I actually very recently stopped having bouts of horrible depression which started after I realized I no longer believed in the religion I was raised in (and that pretty much WAS the foundation to all of my thoughts and beliefs before) and during that time was very pessimistic and cynical toward just about everything. I really enjoy the mindset I have now compared to then, however I still don't have an idea of what to think when it comes to any kind of "meaning" of being alive, sense of any real purpose, and etc.

I think my main concern for the short term (over the next 6 months roughly) is to find a new way to make a decent amount of money to cover my bills and needs without having to send myself into the prison that has become the typical American workday, also known as "Office World". I can't help but feel though that if I had a more solid foundaton for myself existing in the first place, everything else would fall in order much faster. Life might be easier if I didn't like the think so much

It sounds to me like you are on the right path. As you make your way over the next six months, keep your eyes open for things that inspire you, as this may help you discover your message.

I believe our message changes throughout our lives, and it does take a certain amount of living before a clear message can be discovered. Of course, the amount of living required varies from person to person.

I am confident you will find yours if you keep looking.

[mlc82]

Thanks again for the replies, I'm still not sure what to do and think I'm getting a kind of mild depression here... Nothing like how it used to be but I've been wanting to sleep all day today and feeling really down, which isn't like me at all. I'm kind of doing all of the things I know I shouldn't, really coming close to looking for a new job in order to help with the mound of bills and expenses the current one isn't paying, and the idea of a never-changing 8 hrs a day of boredom really does horrify me. I shouldn't be focusing so much on that but can't really help it after seeing my poor, eviscerated checking account today It's only 10pm (I'm a night person) and I can barely keep my eyes open here, I've been feeling that way all day and even my beloved coffee hasn't helped. The girlfriend and I have been easily irritating each other for most of today to top it off.

Sorry for the dour reply, but I figured this is the best place to complain since nearly everyone else posting here seems to be really good at swinging things back into the positive.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by mlc82

Sorry for the dour reply, but I figured this is the best place to complain since nearly everyone else posting here seems to be really good at swinging things back into the positive.

Have a look at this... just stare at it for a few minutes... and you'll see yourself slowly getting back into the swing of things...

Good luck to you...

[Peter S C]

Hi,

You are thinking big (which is a good thing) but I suggest you follow that up with small, seemingly insignificant, actions that can start you on the road to happiness.

For example, it may be too hard to initially generate enough income from doing something you love to pay the bills. If you can even start to make the smallest amount though, you can then progress onto making a little bit more, and then a little bit more......

Also, I understand your desire to avoid a boring, monotonous job but don't discount the learning experiences any job can teach you (especially if you are young). It won't seem too bad if you know it's a temporary thing whilst you are also working on alternate income streams from something you are more passionate about.

All the best

Peter