Should I give up my creative ambitions?

[HeartfulColourful]

I’ve been making music for years but not seriously. I write songs sometimes and they are fine but not great. To be great, I would need to improve my skill set in various areas of music and I am greatly overwhelmed by that idea. The thought of 'working hard' exhausts me. When I hit a wall beyond my skill level, i feel frustrated and I retreat for a long time. I have not progressed in any direction over the past few years because of this.

I create ideas in my head for projects which I become attached to but don’t practically develop because I do not have the skills to do so. In the past year I have seen 3 of these ideas created in the public eye by others and it makes me feel as if i've been stabbed in the stomach because these ideas mean a lot to me. There is a lot of ego involved too. I want to 'make my mark'. I am crippled by a sense of urgency (I’m 30) with lots of ambition but no patience to work hard. I definitely have things to say but if there are lots of skilled ppl who want to say the same thing, I don’t think I have the energy to ‘compete’ with them.

I currently lack the professional standards that I should have. I’ve considered joining an online music community for regular feedback and I’m also considering getting work experience in a recording studio. There are many things I want to do (albums, films, start a band…) and I get pulled between all of them without focusing on 1, eventually achieving nothing. I know I cannot be good at all of these things but I keep fantasising and developing ideas in my head.

How can I deal with my ambition? It causes me immense anxiety and stops me enjoying music. Would you give up your creative desires? I don’t think I can go through yet another year of not achieving my goals.

[Vaganova]

Pick one skill, writing music for example, and get yourself good at that ONE THING. Keep this in mind: apparently Danny Elfman can't actually read music, or so I've heard. He's famous. Then find people that you can use to do the technical skills (actually playing the stuff)

The important part is connections. Make connections. Find a market that wants your music. Video games? Music videos? Background music? Ballets? What style is yours?

On the other hand, remember this as well: making music doesn't money. PERIOD!!! Don't try!!! Here's why: you can copy whatever you want online. You'll have to get your money some other way. If people don't pay for your music right now, it's not because you 'suck', it's because nobody pays for music anymore. Seriously, nobody. It's like paying for oxygen. We all love it, and there are 'rules' (don't smoke in a restaurant) but nobody actually upfront pays for that anymore.

I think the last time I actually paid for my music was when I was 14...

[Focus Driblet]

Originally Posted by Vaganova

On the other hand, remember this as well: making music doesn't money. PERIOD!!! Don't try!!! Here's why: you can copy whatever you want online. You'll have to get your money some other way. If people don't pay for your music right now, it's not because you 'suck', it's because nobody pays for music anymore. Seriously, nobody. It's like paying for oxygen. We all love it, and there are 'rules' (don't smoke in a restaurant) but nobody actually upfront pays for that anymore.

I think the last time I actually paid for my music was when I was 14...

Some research that I have read have found that piracy hurts the big and famous artists as far as sales go. BUT, it actually HELPS small artists, because it helps broadcast their music to a larger audience (and some people actually eventually pay for that music. And even if they don't, you still have concerts, something which might very well be a bigger source of revenue for artists than album sales).

So those research papers actually concluded that piracy (or piracy and the digital age with its ease of distributing music) is actually a net gain for small artists (which would be most artists).

[Vaganova]

Oh hey, another thing: a lot of my 'non bought music' comes from listening to Pandora and You Tube. I don't have to spend any money, but somebody does.

I don't know what you'd need to do to get on stuff like Pandora and Spotify, but that'd be a great place to start. Quite a few bands I've never heard of and now love came from Pandora.

[HeartfulColourful]

How do you pick one thing when you want so many and how do you trust yourself to work hard when the going gets tough?

I guess it’s the truth about ppl not paying for music but I find that depressing! I work for a music copyright firm so that kind of thing breaks my heart! It’s someone else’s hard work/career… I just hope that one day music fans develop a conscience (they themselves would not work for free). Anyway… end of gripe.

If I got to the stage where I created something I thought was good enough id work hard to sell it/promote it! for me this stage is the only thing I’m confident about but it’s way ahead of where I am at. I’m at the ‘why can’t I stick at this long enough to make it a good song and oh no someone has the exact same idea and has become famous for it I may as well shoot myself and give up’ stage.

[Snorkledorf]

I can definitely relate.

I'm in a similar position with regards to the storytelling medium that I'm focused on. Worthy ideas, even pretty fully developed in a structural sense in my head, but that I've been unable to output. My skills aren't there. I've been recently learning to even let go of certain old ideas that are so developed in my head that they're honestly beyond my ability to pull into manifestation. Clears out the mental space for new ideas to come in.

It seems that ideas that are ready to be born are out there in the ether somehow, and if one person doesn't develop it from his/her own perspective, the idea will allow itself to be manifested by someone else from theirs. I've had the core elements of some ideas I've never told anyone about show up in other people's works like that. Nothing to do but be happy for the idea having found its outlet, and move on.

I'm personally focusing on working at the "giving birth" part of the process, since that's where I'm apparently not so skilled. Whether the results are of excellent quality or not is now less of an issue in this phase. I just don't want more worthy ideas to suffocate in the womb due to my lack of skill in expressing them.

[BossTheSandwich]

Originally Posted by HeartfulColourful

How can I deal with my ambition? It causes me immense anxiety and stops me enjoying music. Would you give up your creative desires? I don’t think I can go through yet another year of not achieving my goals.

I used to have this same problem and can tell you what is unequivocally the BEST cure. All you need to do is develop a habit of goal setting, planning, achieving and learning by analysis.

This is EXTREMELY easy and fun to do as well. All you need to do to get started is set yourself off with easy goals but which are ever so slightly outside your comfort zone. That bit is important as you are clearly struggling to step out of your comfort zone when challenges arise (I was exactly the same). Make the goals fun ones... for example, I recently did a firewalk which was really good fun and it ticked off an item on my list of comfort zone expanding goals.

The aim here is one which doing this method will DEFINITELY achieve... to retrain your mind to see you as a consistent achiever who sees things through to the end result.

It is a habit you need to develop and nothing else. I can promise you that doing this properly will change your life for good. You need no other method.

Pick a goal now, a relatively easy one and consciously and methodically achieve it. The 'consciously' part is very important as you are proving to your brain, look what I am doing, this is who I am. This is what I do. I concieve, plan then achieve, every time... this is how I roll now. Watch and learn!

After each goal has been achieved, evaluate what it taught you about achieving goals. What were the mechanics of the process which contributed the most to its completion? What action would have stopped you achieving that goal had you taken it away? and so on. You will soon realise what it takes to achieve a goal and your brain will duly respond by becoming your ally rather than your imprisoner.

This is not just a good idea, believe me, it's the cure.

All the best my friend.

P.S. If you would like any more clarity on anything I've said, respond to this and I will explain further.