Suicide

[ZephyrusX]

I've always pegged my self as an analytical person, so I've tended to be very mystified when people talk about the importance of acknowledging your emotions. I think may be I've been blowing it out of proportion though. You are simply talking about the importance of being conscious of your emotions, right? And not suppressing them?

To be honest, I've been feeling incredibly weary of my life lately. I don't want to commit suicide or anything, but you know... I wake up sometimes and just think that I'd rather be asleep (and often, I do in fact go back to sleep for no other reason other than that I don't want to be awake). I think it is because I've been under a prolonged episode of anxiety. I'm vaguely aware when I am anxious and I know why I'm anxious, but I don't think I've been quite conscious of just how long I've been feeling that way until today. I've basically been feeling like that off and on for a good two or three months now.

It is because I've been socializing with people more and that brings up the old fears about being alone, being rejected and losing people. I think may be it is more accurate to say that I associate being alone with worthlessness or meaninglessness, which I am afraid of. I'm not sure why.

Anyway, this thread actually did help. Now that I know why I've been feeling so weary, I can choose to do something about it and I can acknowledge that I have more sophisticated coping strategies besides escapism.

And Mondrian, I feel like I should apologize to you as I've basically derailed your thread up until this point. Sorry!

You seem more inclined to understand why suicide is socially taboo. I'll think about it and give you a response tomorrow.

Originally Posted by MariconesUnited

Quiet your mind. Observe your inner being. Think a thought. For example: ''I am alone''. What does it feel like? Which areas of your body react? This will be a good guide for you to know where you really are, deep down inside.

*hugs*

[Curious cat]

I'd like to thank Mondrian for starting this thread (and to everyone else who participated, i really admire your candour).

I joined this forum to learn more about people and become a better rounded person, and this thread is a great opportunity for me to learn about a very real part of life (for many), that i otherwise would not have personally been exposed to.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Lethalmind

When all of the problems fade away, and you don't have to worry about them anymore it's a nice feeling in a sort of twisted sense.

I've been suicidal at points just to get away from the stuff I fear coming in the future. Mentally, I feel like I'm screwed up beyond any repair and the future will only equal a living hell; like the present only way way way worse. When I'm suicidal I don't have to worry about any of it.

It actually led me to a brief insight where I had an entire day of pure happiness. I refused to get involved with my struggles.

If a bear mauled me at that point I wouldn't have struggled one bit or been upset.

I was done with the struggle of life. No worry at all for once in my life. Then it went away and here I am again. In my lonely dungeon.

I'm still trying to figure out wtf I did too have such a beautiful, outstanding day.

I used to be against suicide(My brother killed himself), but in my opinion everyone has the right to opt out. When you reach your threshold no one has a right to keep you here. Still, I'm only going to use it as my last option (Getting closer).

If I go that route, my goal is to die with a smile.

It's sad especially when parents kill themselves(My brother left behind 3 kids). No death is easy though, and living for other people is not an option in my opinion. Just leads to a torturous existence.

I've gone that route for years, living for my mom, and mostly, only felt like ♥♥♥♥. Live for yourself or don't live at all in my opinion.

That's an awesome clarity! Here's something I wrote that speaks to this....that we have nothing truly to give to another if we are not whole minds first.... Turn from Your Selfish Ways - The Pursuit of Happiness? Profound-Self-Help.com

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Luci, if you ever have another 'I want to shove a pen through my eye' moment and feel like talking, feel free to send me a PM.

Thankyou so much. That really means a lot to me. I've had plenty of moments like this before, and no one has ever extended themselves in any real way. I get that it is more comfortable for them to pretend it's not happening, but really...it could mean the difference between someone staying alive or really doing it.

For anyone out there who is interested, here is what NOT to do:

*Tell the suicidal person to pray to Jesus

*Tell the suicidal person they are being unacceptable and rude for losing it at the person telling them to pray to jesus when they feel like jabbing a pen into their eyeball.(even if it's true)

*Telling the suicidal person that they have a victim mentality.

*Telling the suicidal person that they just want attention!

*Do NOT under any circumstances try and guilt them into staying. That is much more cruel and uncaring than if you pulled the trigger. You only add to their torture. It's not about YOU! Individuals have a right to go if they want to, you have no control over anyone and trying to is black magic.

None of these things help a person who is seriously distressed, and actually makes it worse for them.

Believe them if they say they want to jab a pen in their eye. Even if it is true that some may say these things to get attention, it isn't always the case for every suicidal.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

May be they see some sort of value in deflecting attention away from the fact that they don't have the resources to deal with the situation?

I think it's more that they feel helpless and want to make that feeling go away, but don't really know how, so it is more a selfish desire to make the feeling of being helpless go away in them, and in the process it doesn't help the person who needs help, which is bitterly ironic.

As you say though, it's better to just admit they don't know how to help, than pretend they know what the person needs. They don't.

Just being there with the person is generally enough. They don't have to say anything. Just listening is more helpful, but people are notoriously bad at listening.

[ZephyrusX]

If you have the resources to listen, I think that is the best thing you can really do for a person that is suicidal. If they are anything like me, they are probably feeling incredibly anxious about asking someone for help to begin with. Saying clearly that you'll listen would probably alleviate a tremendous amount of stress.

I posted a 'to do' and 'do not do' list on speaking to suicidal people awhile back. I'll try finding it and posting it.

Originally Posted by elucidate

Thankyou so much. That really means a lot to me. I've had plenty of moments like this before, and no one has ever extended themselves in any real way. I get that it is more comfortable for them to pretend it's not happening, but really...it could mean the difference between someone staying alive or really doing it.

[ZephyrusX]

Regarding the whole taboo thing, I think this is a good assessment. On the other hand though, I think talking about suicide is so taboo because people are afraid to talk about it. I don't think it is necessarily a fear of a 'void', 'nothingness' or death. Having spoken to suicidal people, there are some inhibitions and false beliefs you have to get over before you'll actually feel comfortable talking about it.

There is the idea that talking about suicide openly might inadvertently drive that person to suicide. Not true. If that person decides to kill them selves, it will be with or without your involvement. Nothing you say can make a person kill them selves. You are in no way responsible for that person's death.

There is also the idea that you are some how responsible for 'saving' that person. Again, not true, but if you actually believe it, that belief can put a tremendous amount of stress on you and totally devastate you if that person does commit suicide. Again, you are in no way responsible for that person's death.

But yah, I don't think that alone explains why it is taboo. Being afraid to talk about it doesn't explain the fact that suicide was once consider (and still is to many people) a sin in Christianity and perhaps other religions.

As Albalida mentioned, may be it is just a form of control to protect your investments. Some people were literally treated like property in the past (still are in some cases). If you are relying on someone for some form of support/investment, it isn't going to do you well if they make off and kill them selves. That sounds incredibly cynical though. I'm sure that some people who try to scare loved ones into not killing themselves simply love them and there are no other strings attached.

Originally Posted by Albalida

Put bluntly, every individual is an investment. Parents, guardians, and government funds have gone to birthing and growing a human being. All those meals, clothes, the buildings that shelter us, education, no matter how unhealthy/ill-fitting/asbestos-padded/brainwashing, all of that comes from the effort of other people.

After all that investment, there's an underlying imperative to give something back, even if you're horribly unhappy with being a cog, or everything is a pretense, or you truly live in unbearable physical or emotional pain.

[MariconesUnited]

No point in carrying this conversation on here and now.

sigh