No motivation or skills

[Soul Reaver]

I dropped out of college a couple of years ago. I consider myself (and am considered by others) as very bright. I'm very much a theoretical guy though. I feel I have all this outstanding potential....but I never had much in the way of active hobbies where I harnessed actual skills.

I'm now desperate to make some decisions to guide my life. I feel like I have lots of theoretical knowledge and sensibility and am good with ideas on the spot.....but I'm frustrated by tests online or in books about finding your best carreer because I'm at loss when saying what my skills are.

I find it very hard to justify big decisions, like going to study film making, or any other thing....when I don't feel motivated to achieve anything...and when anyone asks what I already do now with my free time...it's always passive stuff. I feel I have no skills and I'm at a loss to how to solve my lack of passion for any specific goal.

I mean sure...I'd like to create a movie of my own or something else...but does that justify concentrating all of my life into those areas? Is it normal that I don't have active hobbies?

What would you do in my place?

[Alice Hive]

In my experience you will not

- find out what you want
- get motivated
- build skills

before you try out many things and put some more time and effort into a few of them.

Of course you don't know if it's a good idea to study film making, for example, if you have never even tried to create a film.

[wanzulfikri]

When you have no skill, that means that you overlooked your skill. Ask others what your skill and you will find that they you tell you about it.

[roorback]

i feel in the same case as you Soul Reaver, my motivation about my studies is missing and i feel pretty lost in my life.

I think you just need to find a way to do things you love, things which make your heart beat because you really like what you do.

So explore your world, enjoy each moment to discovert new things and may be one day you will find your way.

If you want to make a movie go for it, work hard for it, and when your project will be done , you will find another challenge.

[Ubermensch]

A person can only achieve greatness through narrow focus. When we think of someone who accomplish great, they only dedicated their LIFE to only 1 thing - think Mother Teresa (philanthropistic work), Albert Einstein (theoretical physics) or Genghis Khan (Ancient domination war lord).

The law of narrow focus (single function) is apparent in nature. Honey bees are useful because of their single function, so are squirrels that bury thousands of nuts. Disperse focus (or, unlimited options) is the enemy of greatness.

Until you choose your focus, you'll continue to feel frustration and directionless.

[Soul Reaver]

Ubermensch: I can see that. I agree that focus is my achilles heal. I've been reading on the subject. But it's funny you mention 3 particular individuals....

what was those individuals motivation? wherein themselves did it stem from?

I mean focus can't just be a skill surely. If you are deeply-focused in what you are doing but you don't know why you do things....you might be externally successful ....but it won't feel fulfillment no?

Originally Posted by Alice Hive

In my experience you will not

- find out what you want
- get motivated
- build skills

before you try out many things and put some more time and effort into a few of them.

Of course you don't know if it's a good idea to study film making, for example, if you have never even tried to create a film.

I've actually worked on a short film before and actually enjoyed it. And this is the perfect example. I'm a fast learner and have a lot of confidence in my sensibility and taste. But it took someone to invite me to do the project for me to jump in on such a thing.

I guess it means I'm don't have drive to accomplish...status means jack ♥♥♥♥ to me and I don't associate my identity with what I do.but when I'm presented with an opportunity to do stuff with other people I can get more excited.

It's kinda like...it's my work environment that provides motivation for me. If it's cool...I could learn theoretical physics in a week if I was working with people I enjoyed.

[Ubermensch]

what was those individuals motivation? wherein themselves did it stem from?

Personally, it took me around 5 years, and hundreds of solitary walks to know. Motivation stems from intense introspection.

[Ubermensch]

Motivation comes from introspection. It's actually hard - I spent a solid 2 years just going for walks and thinking about life. And then the voice in my head told me:

Voice in my head: What if you only have one life? A life time is pretty long. Will you live a life of mediocrity - or will you live life beyond your wildest dream? Will your be the king, or will you be the pawn? A life of adventure, or a life time of boredom?

Ubermensch: Uh ... I'll take the adventure. I'm going to be king.

Voice in my head: But you have to pay the price.

Ubermensch: What price?

Voice in my head: Doing whatever it takes to accomplish it. There is no shortcut. Pay the price, or shut the ♥♥♥♥ up.

Ubermensch: Fine.

I have marched through hail, snow and rain to hit the gym. I have also spent countless nights working until I pass out. I don't think it's extreme. What's extreme is living a life of sloth and mediocrity.

My climb towards self actualization will manifest itself in living the life style I envision. The physical manifestation is solid proof that I have become self actualize by exercising extreme authority over my own life; my mind, my body.

Whenever I feel lazy, tired, un-motivated, I remind myself that life is a fast, ticking time bomb towards death. Either die as someone great, or die as an un-actualize nobody.

[Soul Reaver]

That is true. But in part it also makes decisions even harder in a sense. If I had ten lifetimes I'd try out numerous different things. But with just one the weight to the the right thing for me is kinda numbing almost.

Mother Theresa probably was motivated by being charitable. Genghis Khan because he was probably arrogant and drunken with the idea of power like most conquerors. Motivation can stem from the most noble of ideas or from the most petty personal insecurity.

I'm not asking you to share anything personal if you don't want to but when i asked where the motivation came from I don't mean the motivation for getting off your arse but the rationale behind the motivation of choosing the particular course of action you did.

[thehawkman]

Honestly, like most bright guys, you think too much, especially if you have too much time on your hands. And you've probably been confused by your family and entourage, giving you mixed signals about many things. Such as: I hate it (I mean it really pisses off) when people say money isn't important, and yet they kiss ass, suck up, change jobs, play the stock market, do all kinds of petty stuff to get it and obsess over it constantly, as well as judging everybody else by their job, car, clothes, the last place they went on holiday and so on. You've probably read a lot of books, heard a lot of mystical mumbo jumbo, and this in confusing you. I am kind of like that. I took a test on tickle (a website which is now gone which was owned by monster.com) and i apparently had an IQ of 129. For two years after college I was unable to get a job, so it wasn't any help at all. And I had no money to start a business. I was at the end of my wits. I really think that, unless you have the money to start a serious business, you should focus on becoming employable. Yes, go for the money. This may sound crass, some people will even try to dissuade you. Despite what some people will tell you, having a higher education is still better than not having one, and yes, money does bring happiness. You have more earning power and you are viewed differently. Plus it eliminates plenty of issues. Getting better clothes, being well fed, will help reduce stress, and will make you healthier and more at ease with yourself. And this will improve your state of mind. Success breeds success. You owe it to yourself to be happy and successful.

[RonSouther]

Are you generally happy in your own skin?

[Rimuel]

In relation to what Ubermensch said, although narrow focus does work, not everyone wants to abandon everything else and focus on just one thing. I am one of them. There's this sense of despair and emptiness that I get whenever I focus on only one thing for long periods of time.

An alternative would be to have a few things active at a time. Barbara Sher in one of her books recommended having up to 4 hobbies only for at least a quarter of a year.

What I have found to be useful though, is mono-tasking. The difference is that, with narrow focus, you focus on only one thing for long periods of time (I consider anything more than 3 months long, in this context). With mono-tasking, you focus on one thing for a short period of time (say 1 day), then switch to something else. I recommend the OP to not start too many things at a time, even with mono-tasking.

@OP: Since you are a theoretical person, you should begin with the question: what is the purpose of life? There are several variations to this question, such as:

- what is my purpose in life?
- do we have a predefined purpose, and if so, how do we know?
- what is the best way to live a life?
- what is the most rational way to live life? (this question is more complex)

Once you obtain the answer (esp the last variation), you are more likely to have the "motivation" to do what you need to fulfill the goal.

A caveat here: it is beneficial to try things out while at the same time trying to answer this question. Just sitting down and thinking will not be very conducive to your well-being; you have physiological needs to be met. Some people also get their answer faster when they introspect as well as experience life (and retrospect after the experience).

I am one of those types that gets answers faster when I go out of the house to take a walk, or engage in outdoor activities. If you can tell me your MBTI type I might be able to tell you how you should gather information.

There is also that sense of despair and under-achievement when you keep thinking without doing and end up having no sufficient answer.

[Soul Reaver]

Rimuel: I hear you with the "purpose of life" framing. I've done that to a certain extent.

I'm an ENFP. But a very introspective and cautious one. Not gung-ho about all the magical possibilities. I'm very conscious about learning from my mistakes and not running away from my problems.

I guess Barbara Sher might pin me down as a scanner...but then when I hear her talks with scanners...they all seem like classic ENFPs that literally have a million projects all the time. I'm a much more lethargic and slow ENFP with a sightly narrower view of what might constitute really good work (cool people, similar values, creative project-based work). I'm not comfortable with the idea of traveling around the world for the rest of my life and I actually WANT to settle.

Sher says a scanner needs to do everything and in a sense I hear her. But I'm poor and every move I make needs to be well thought-out from here on out.

I do have a very strong intuition I need to try different hobbies. But I need an environment that supports that. I'm not the greatest self-taught expert. Conversely...I'm a very fast learner when with other people in the room.

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Are you generally happy in your own skin?

I'm gonna try to be as brutally honest as I possibly can be. I don't believe in the conventional way of playing the game of life. I don't like how the world is structured. I wish I could just pick up apples from trees, take walks and talk with people all day.

I'm not someone who needs a lot to be happy. That means I don't have this compulsion to DO or ACHIEVE! Just being and interacting with people is my biggest joy.

Conversely, I'm stuck in this society. And since we tend to be programmed in a much different way...in the end I tend to have a problem keeping my happiness levels due to the environment. Everyone is bitching about something, everyone is afraid about something, everyone is warning you about the dangers of this and that, everyone is insecure and needs to vent on other people by being selfish and spiteful or by being a big boastful fake that is out to win the battle VS the world they have going on in their head etc etc etc

This thread is aimed at being better equipped to play society's game. The more spiritual side of things is covered. But I consciously made the choice to stop that spiritual development. I actually want to find some contentment in the ego-game....because I've behind on that one all my life. The way I see it....the last 30 years of my life are there to attain Nirvana lol

[RonSouther]

Soul, you sound like a newborn "lion" to me in the context of this quote....me too...

"Zarathustra divides the evolution of consciousness into three symbols: the camel, the lion, and the child.

The camel is a beast of burden, ready to be enslaved, never rebellious. He cannot ever say no. He is a believer, a follower, a faithful slave. That is the lowest in human consciousness.

The lion is a revolution. The beginning of the revolution is a sacred no.

In the consciousness of the camel there is always a need for someone to lead and someone to say to him, “Thou shalt do this.” He needs the Ten Commandments. He needs all the religions, all the priests and all the holy scriptures because he cannot trust himself. He has no courage and no soul and no longing for freedom. He’s obedient.

The lion is a longing for freedom, a desire to destroy all imprisonments. The lion is not in need of any leader; he is enough unto himself. He will not allow anybody else to say to him, “Thou shalt,” – that is insulting to his pride. He can only say, “I will.” The lion is responsibility and a tremendous effort to get out of all chains.

But even the lion is not the highest peak of human growth. The highest peak is when the lion also goes through a metamorphosis and becomes a child. The child is innocence. It is not obedience, it is not disobedience; it is not belief, it is not disbelief – it is pure trust, it is a sacred yes to existence and to life and to all that it contains.

The child is the very peak of purity, sincerity, authenticity, receptivity, and openness to existence. These symbols are very beautiful."

[Alice Hive]

Originally Posted by Soul Reaver

I'm not asking you to share anything personal if you don't want to but when i asked where the motivation came from I don't mean the motivation for getting off your arse but the rationale behind the motivation of choosing the particular course of action you did.

The BIG motivation behind the things I do is that I want to live my purpose.

I know that's not particular rational. But I don't have a more rational reason for what I do. I want to share my music and words and art with the world because I feel that it's the most authentic way to express myself. It just feels right.

And I do have an incredible high motivational drive.

I think if you keep trying out things and listening to your intuiton, it will lead you to your inner motivation in no time.
Just don't overcomplicate things with your mind so much.

If you feel like you need a more compatible environment, create one. It might be the first necessary step for you to get more clear about what's driving you.