I Still Can't Find a Job

[lycan]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm scared to have an internet presense as far as posting pics and advertising online. I can't afford to go to jail. Do you think it's better to go by the people I know? The problem is they're cheap and aren't willing to pay $300/hr, the suggested minimum rate on Stripperweb.

How do they get customers?

[lycan]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm on Day 1 of Lycan's Diet. I feel better knowing that it worked for him. I think it can work for me. My last fattening meal was at 5 am, one chicken wing and a few fries. I'm not eating again until much later and it will be healthy, probably chicken soup. I plan to lose all the weight in 4 months, so by mid-April/early May.

Few months ago you said you had lost some weight. Did you gain it back?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by lycan

How do they get customers?

Rather than selling to people they know, they post set up websites and post ads there or on eros.com, cityvibe, and other websites of that nature. They have some sort of screening process that I'm in the dark about.

I'm about to head to a swinger party, and there will be alcohol there, so I don't know if I should count this as Day 1 or not.

I find myself feeling very irritated about the stigma that surrounds escorting and prostitution. Many women, probably jealous, do not see it as real work.

[MariconesUnited]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I find myself feeling very irritated about the stigma that surrounds escorting and prostitution. Many women, probably jealous, do not see it as real work.

I told you prejudice is rampant against escorts! It's just something you will need to accept if you are going to make a living out of it. You can't change everyone's perceptions honey, no matter how strong you are. No one can.

Except the media. But that's another story

What you can do is not fall into the box they're trying to box you into. You can do that by setting your limits clearly and loving and respecting yourself and the people who pay for your services. By acting this way you do what you can to dispel myths and misconceptions.

Take precautions and be careful, whatever you do. Love yourself no matter what.

*hugs*

[CroMagna]

Bad news. My therapist advised me against escorting and told me she's required to report illegal activity.

The fear of getting busted overrides the desire to make money by hooking up. She said I can hook up all I want to for free though. She has never had a problem with my promiscuity.

I take comfort in knowing that I wouldn't have enjoyed getting paid to have sex because I'd be having sex with people I'm not attracted to, which makes it a chore. I also I would have gotten busted regardless, disappointing my family and making them lose trust in me, also making them post bail and being locked up with the dregs of society in a smelly cell. Also having sex with that many people a day would hurt my vajajay. Plus I would have a 10 year gap in my resume.

Samantha from Sex and the City and Charlie Sheen/Charlie Harper from Two and a Half Men have normal jobs. Sex is just their pasttime, their way of life outside of work. Their jobs enable them to feel powerful and in control of their lovers.

I still don't like the idea of being an admin. It's so low paying and soooo embarassing to tell someone you're an administrative assistant.

So I'm looking for a decent gig, like as a writer or something, something where I can make atleast 40-50K a year, something interesting yet productive, something stimulating. I have no clue what that is. I have looked up dozens of job lists and nothing appeals to me.

Please help me brainstorm.

[CroMagna]

I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do with my life. I feel trapped in financial scarcity. I'm determined to make 2012 my breakthrough year.

I have no normal passions. When I ask myself what I do all day, it's reading about atheism vs. religion (if God exists), science, psychology, antinatalism, misanthropy, politics, and hooking up/going to swinger parties etc and having discussions with people that are close to me about these issues. Nobody will pay me to read and learn all day and these topics are so obscure that there's not a market for them. Sure I could be a legal prostitute in Nevada, but I don't have money for a plane ticket, my family would be suspicious about me moving to Nevada, and the competition is stiff. I could be a professor of atheism/religion, but it's so obscure there's no market for that, and I'm not interested in changing the world. I feel that professors are normally activists who have a cause they're fighting for. My only causes are self-preservation and truth.

I've read the Occupational Outlook Handbook from A-Z twice, I have read lists of hundreds of jobs, I read through jobs on Craig's List religiously and nothing jumps out at me, like this is my passion, this is my purpose. All normal jobs seem boring.

And in order to do anything I've contemplated doing, like computer programmer, I'd need money. I'd need 1k to enroll in the course that teaches you programming languages. I'd need at least 4k to go back to school to become a professor. I'd need money for a plane ticket and rent to head to the cathouses.

I don't think I have a passion (that's normal anyway). And I don't believe there's a purpose to life other than survival of the fittest.

I don't need money. I'm financially stable and have enough money for the things I need and some things I want. But part of me feels like I want to make a lot of money. It would make me feel like I'm not mediocre. I would make me feel like I conquered adversity. It would make me feel like I got one over people. It would make me feel like I had dignity. It would enhance my self-esteem vis-a-vis other people. It could be a motivating force. I want money to have things that would enhance my life, like an apartment so I can have friends over to visit, nothing major like a million dollars. (Part of me feels like I would just be reaching to something external to enhance my self-esteem, and that contentment comes from within, so I should forget about making potentially myself miserable to prove a point and to get money).

Everyone says go for passion over money, but what if you don't have a passion or can't monetize it? Then shouldn't you go for the money? And what do you do if you don't know how you're gonna make money? Or if it will leave you feeling content or just empty?

I feel like my only realistic option is to be an administrative assistant. I would feel so embarassed to be an administrative assistant. I would be embarrassed to tell people. It would be such a blow to my ego. It would make me feel like a loser, like the world put me in my place.

Please help!

[lycan]

If you had access to a magic lamp and knew for certain what you asked would become true, what would you ask for?

[CroMagna]

I would ask for a million dollars to be able to enjoy my free time reading, journaling, working on my mental health issues, and engaging with people I like. I would also have a lot of sex, go to swinger parties with friends, and relax my mind.

[straysweeper]

Cromagna,

A few ideas off the top of my head, again the webcam option, which is not illegal but your image would be out there on the internet forever.

Next, Wait Tables, even though I know your an introvert, it could help build your skin and skills with dealing with the public.

Ultimately, I'd recommend stop judging and tell your ego to take a step aside. Why are you allowing an idea to perpetuate whom you are? If your lost, do anything to look for ideas, even if its something you don't like, because it may then lead you to something you do. Be Grateful for what you have and can do, while setting the intention to do something greater or better.

One of the first steps is to identify what you wish to do. I think you wanted to escort because it put you at a expected high level of income doing something you enjoy. I found an article about a major male porn start the other day and he says he risks his health every single day, and he makes protecting it his number one priority.

The job isn't whats stopping you, its what you think about the job. Here is something else I've noticed, your angry about people judging escorts and prostitution, why not the same level of anger of judging admin assistants? Notice where you also make judgement of other people instead of seeing whom they are.

There is also jobs like Social Media Managers, and whom knows what else out there that didn't exist ten years ago. I myself am interested in Dome houses, which to get to that point I'll have to wait and save money, and learn.

If you need to borrow money check out Personal Loans and Online Investing - Peer to Peer Lending - Prosper, or find out about student loans or aid, which I'll likely be doing before too long myself.

Another thing you might look into is a book called Strength Finder 2.0. Book has a key in it to take a Gallup test to see where your strengths lie within 37 major themes, and the book itself is like a hard copy of their descriptions. Its about $14 on amazon last time I checked. I'll be interested to know what themes you have, I suspect we may have one or two that are similar.

[RonSouther]

Check out becoming an online Infopreneur! Turn your passion into income.

I'm using this service for my website....I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it is! If you click on the link then look at the top menubar for the "Video Tour", it will give you a really nice overview of the service.

[CroMagna]

Straysweeper,

Are you suggesting that I should become an admin and just drop the sick feeling I have about the profession?

[straysweeper]

If an Admin Assistant will put you into a middle income bracket? Then i say get it a chance while you are doing other things. Maybe you are prejudging it because of your Ego doesn't want to be this.

Take me for example, I used manage a cstore a few years ago and now I'm considering going back into one, allbeit temporarily, if only because it is a means to an end of what I want. Such as not returning to Oklahoma just yet, and getting into better health.

Now if I the situation warranted my return, say I'm unable to find work, Then I'd need to drop the ego of going back to Oklahoma. For some reason I have a negative association and the last few years there haven't agreed with me. I ballooned up to 300lbs roughly.

If you really don't want to do something because your not good at it, or there is something more specific you wish to be doing, do that. But if not, well as Ron said to me, you have to live.

Unless you can find a sugar daddy, which is your other option.

So, am I saying do the admin job and drop the sick feeling? I say drop the sick feeling and see if your open to it, while doing that see if you can't determine through self questioning, stream of consciousness writing, or some other clarity of what you wish to be doing. Focusing on what you don't want will not get you closer to where you wish to be.

Does this make sense? I just woke up so sure if I'm all here

Edit:
I'm fond of dropping the ego, or at least attempting to extricate its control over our lives. Next is deciding what you want.

A movie I watched called the Debaters had this motto for one of the Kids Family, Do what you have to, so you can do what you want to. Dave Ramsey has another one, You have to live like no one else, so that you may live like no one else.

[straysweeper]

I thought of another way of saying this.

If your going to be a ship without a rudder going with the current, or a stick in the mud saying you won't budge because you simple don't want to. Then I say going with the flow is better than not, and better yet is directing your own course.

You can say all the things you don't want, and be that stick in the mud and get the same, or affirm what is, is. And do what you can to take you where you want to go. Take flying, you can buy a ticket and go from oklahoma to las vegas, but you can end up first going via dallas, denver, or houston. It isn't always a direct path.

Build up yourself on the inside, and know yourself for the profound magnificence that you are.

Focus on what you can do to add, create or delivery value.

[CroMagna]

So administrative assistant?

[straysweeper]

Only you can decide it yourself, what I'm saying is get off the fence, if not the admin assistant something else.

Other than the ego thing about what people think, what do you not like about it?

Be Back Later Tonight

oh and another maxim for you. Decide where you want to go, but be open to how you get there. God or the Universe may send something you don't expect.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by straysweeper

Other than the ego thing about what people think, what do you not like about it?

The pay is lowsy, it involves comforming to a uniform model of speech/dress/behavior, it involves having to be bubbly and extroverted and engage in small talk with silly humans, it involves human interaction, it's a dead end job.

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

The pay is lowsy... it's a dead end job.

This will prob be my last post as forum may shutdown any minute now.

Just read something related to this "A closed mind is the most expensive thing you will ever own because it keeps you POOR "Passing Over Opportunities Regularly."

I started out as a secretary. It was an excellent opportunity to meet people at all levels, both inside and outside of the organization, including VIPs. After a year I got promoted to a more technical job and went on from there.

The point is, if you make the most of it, it is a stepping stone to something bigger and better, not a dead end at all. And executive assistants make very good money. Yes, you have to have a positive attitude - that's true wherever you go if you want to be successful.

Any job is a starting point, you don't have to stay there forever. Use it to reach higher. You also don't want to have too big a gap in your resume.

A couple of strategies, look for the type of organizations/businesses you think you would want to work for. Or businesses that you might want to learn about for your future purposes. Be assertive, make inquiries; a lot of jobs are not always advertized.

Some more food for thought I came across recently - Stop asking "what do I want?" and ask "why am I here?". You may come closer to your true purpose.

Good luck. Hopefully we can all find another helpful forum, as well as taking this opportunity to spend less time online!

[CroMagna]

Thanks Lioness!

Originally Posted by Lioness

I started out as a secretary. It was an excellent opportunity to meet people at all levels, both inside and outside of the organization, including VIPs. After a year I got promoted to a more technical job and went on from there.

I hate networking because it's fake and slimy. You have to pretend to like people you don't like. You become part of a society you can't tolerate.

The point is, if you make the most of it, it is a stepping stone to something bigger and better, not a dead end at all. And executive assistants make very good money. Yes, you have to have a positive attitude - that's true wherever you go if you want to be successful.

You're right, executive assistants make a fairly decent wage. Food for thought.

Any job is a starting point, you don't have to stay there forever. Use it to reach higher. You also don't want to have too big a gap in your resume.

I guess I could use it as an opportunity to get the money to enroll in the course I want to take towards being a computer programmer.

A couple of strategies, look for the type of organizations/businesses you think you would want to work for. Or businesses that you might want to learn about for your future purposes. Be assertive, make inquiries; a lot of jobs are not always advertized.

There's no organization that I want to work for. I don't believe in any thing, any cause or anything like that. I don't have a passion. My only motivation is money.

Some more food for thought I came across recently - Stop asking "what do I want?" and ask "why am I here?". You may come closer to your true purpose.

I don't think there's a reason why I'm here. I think I'm just here because my parents wanted children. I don't believe that life has an intrinsic purpose. But if I could think of a purpose, it would be "to triumph over adversity." That gets me excited so I guess that's what it is. That would involve making a lot money rather than having any particular passion.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and get a job as an admin right?

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I hate networking because it's fake and slimy. You have to pretend to like people you don't like.

Not at all. First of all, you don't have to think of meeting different people in a business setting as "networking". Although it's certainly smart to keep in mind that people can be a connection to other people that can lead you to where you want to go, or to making more money. But it's more natural than that. It's simply being polite and personable. This is not being fake. If you don't like someone, you don't have to kiss up and be phony, but you can still be respectful, unless they are not.

I am very introverted by nature. But when I developed my natural curiosity about people, and began to talk to them, doors opened. We live in a social world. It only makes sense to be friendly, no matter what work you do.

I don't think you can afford to keep to yourself and refuse to engage with people. It's not a winning attitude.

You're right, executive assistants make a fairly decent wage.

It can also be interesting work, not necessarily boring. That's why you should think about what industry you might like, even if you don't have a passion right now.

I don't think there's a reason why I'm here. I think I'm just here because my parents wanted children. I don't believe that life has an intrinsic purpose.

You have unique gifts and talents, some yet to be discovered. That's why the more things you do/try, the more of a clue you will get as to what you were born to do. You are too young to accept living the rest of your life with no purpose except money.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and get a job as an admin right?

Well, yes and no. You don't necessarily have to go for admin, but if you can't find anything else that tickles your fancy, I certainly wouldn't rule it out. But to parlay it into any kind of success, you would have to have a positive take on it. Admin assistants are not just servants. They are also the gatekeepers to power, which makes them powerful too. Once you get your foot in the door, you can be a game-changer.

[straysweeper]

I love what Lioness says and how she says it. Ty Lioness

As for weather you have no purpose in life I cannot say, I've gone back and fourth on this a few times. I always thought what if its reverse, what if we don't have purpose but make purpose of our lives?

One way of thinking about this is think what you'd want people to say about you after your gone. This is where the ego might be helpful. This is something I read in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

As for the jobs being rigid and inflexible, many companies are shifting, like Google having 20% self time for self projects and the like. So not all companies fit in that box. In some ways I hate to say it, but you do have to pay your dues, Steve did first with this Game Business, then the first couple of years blogging.

If making money is your goal study money and do finance. A few of my favorites are Dave Ramsey and Clark Howard. Or into stock brokering, or banking. Turn your love of money into a career.

[CroMagna]

Thank you all for your tireless, persistent help. You have continued to help me as I've been stuck and going in circles. I truly feel loved and I highly appreciate that.

Alex Barthe, a forum member, is helping me pursue a career as a sex therapist. Everyone knows that I was gunning for that escorting job and that I enjoyed the stripping job. Everyone knows that I'm not thrilled about being an admin, as it's unrelated to my passion, which is sex. Sex makes me happy and allows me to connect with people on a deeper level. It's an expression of love, love for myself, and love for the other. That's why I like it so much. It's not fake, it's real.

I have had a rewarding year. I went from being in and out of the hospital to stability. I went from an abusive relationship to the caring and admiration of my suitors. I went from being insecure about my body vis a vis stripping to landing a stripping job and conquering the field. Recently, I went from hearing voices to embracing the present moment experience. I have made a lot of progress and can finally say I'm happy. Although I was a "superstar" in high school up until my freshman year at Duke, I have found myself and love myself a lot more now than I ever have. I was a perfectionist in high school and at Duke because I desperately wanted to be accepted. Now I know that I don't need to gain acceptance of people I don't admire, as Johnny Soporno once put it.

I will continue on this journey of career and job exploration. If I have to be an admin, it won't be so bad. It will just be a stepping stone to bigger and better things. But I will strive to pursue jobs that are in line with my interest, sex positive jobs such as administrative assistant for Planned Parenthood, webcam, or working in a sex store. I don't need money to make me happy though, I'm already there