|12-09-2011, 05:59 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
My Addiction for COMPLAINING
I have a very severe problems that no start to bother everybody around me.
I always complaining
I am an Addict
I complain about everything in my life:
one of my friend gave me a comment that keep ringing in my head
he said "you complain about how harsh your work, how little time you have, and how difficult to manage your debt. This is life get real"
I really Need help
|12-09-2011, 07:27 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Down the infinite rabbit hole
Yeah, I know that one. My mother is a champion of it, and I learned it from her and was an accomplished complainer. Nothing was ever right or satisfying, and I could find a cloud for ANY silver lining (and I did, too).
Basically, breaking the complaining habit is like breaking any other habit. You first become aware of when you're doing it, and then when you catch yourself doing it, you redirect your thoughts and energy to something else, something positive or productive. Eventually, you get to where you catch yourself before you start complaining, and, in time, you realise that your entire attitude and worldview have changed. It's pretty amazing, actually.
What I personally recommend is that when you find yourself complaining, stop and try to see something, anything, that's good in the situation. Even if it's something you consider minor. Then practice being grateful for that thing, whatever it is. Even if all you can manage is "Well, at least it's not raining on top of everything else, and I'm grateful for that".
In time, and with practice, you get to where you see positive in everything, and the negative is much less of an issue. AND, bonus, when you change your worldview, you change your world! Seriously, it's pretty amazing how that works. I was surprised. I still am, sometimes, actually.
|12-09-2011, 10:41 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2009
Didnīt Steve write once that complaining means you are trying to give up your responsibility?
I am also a master of complaining and I didnīt benefit from it at all.
I think we are doing it because we are afraid to take charge of or lives.
Most people have their own problems ,so it is wise to look for specific persons who might help you.
A debt counsellor is a better conversational partner than your friend.
Is it possible to talk with your employer about working less?
I also agree with reekah,if you learn to manage it you might grow.
|12-09-2011, 06:27 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Going through tough times or listening to others experiences of loss and pain always helps me stop complaining.
I guess I gain appreciation of what I have and what is around me, because I know how quickly it could change and be so much worse.
Think about those who have just suffered a natural disater and have lost everything. "Thing could always be worse, stop your crying," I tell myself.
If there is something I really feel the need to complain about, I will take action to change it and if I can't change it then I try to avoid it if it still feels like something I want to complain about.
Appreciation helps, good luck.
|12-09-2011, 06:59 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
There is a magic phrase for every mishap in your life: "It means that I didn't need it". If it didn't happen, then you didn't need it. If you were late for your airplane, may be you escaped a crash. Stupid to complain about something you didn't actually need, or something that could harm you.
|12-10-2011, 12:50 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
What are the things that can calm you down often? Every time you start complaining, do one of those things. Journal about it after that. Find solutions through journaling, as Steve recommended (Journaling as a Problem-Solving Tool Ŧ Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog).
Then make goals and plans to ensure you solve the problem in its entirety.
Oh, there's one more idea you could try. Set aside some time every day, let's say for 15 minutes, and make an effort to complain and journal about it. This way you're actually giving yourself permission to do what you're doing, while still trying to solve it.
You could start like this:
"What would I like to complain about today?....Now how can I solve this problem?"
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