Fear of Failure and Procrastination – Think They’re Connected?

[MrProductive]

I have to admit, I’m sort of a perfectionist. Sometimes I wonder if my fear of failing is holding me back from some of my goals. I’ve heard and read many times, which I’m sure you all have as well, that the more you fail and learn from it, the closer you’re getting (sort of like Thomas Edison working towards the light bulb ). But it just doesn’t seem to resonate deep enough.

Does anyone else have the same thoughts? Or have any tips to getting around it?

[Prinie]

I'm exactly sure what you're asking. But if the fear of failure is something you have, then you'll never reach your full potential. "The secret of success is to fall down 7 times and get up 8."

[ZephyrusX]

I do think the fear of failure can lead to procrastination. To borrow an analogy I've read elsewhere, someone who is afraid of failure will exaggerate the meaning of failing to the point where it is like falling off a 10 story building. Whereas, people with a healthy relationship with failure will cognitively structure failing in a way where is it not devastating and it means nothing about who they are intrinsically as a person. And so, the former group avoids more challenging tasks as the perceived consequences of failing are greater.

If you are interested, I could probably find the title of the book and the research articles. Otherwise, you could train your mind to be conscious of your relationship to failure and to cognitively restructure your relationship to failure.

[Andyandy]

Hi Guys:

This is my first post & I have been following stevepavalina.com from last few days.I came across it through goggling while searching some keywords. It has been great learning. Now coming to the point to the question above:
Name of book is "The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by Neil A. Fiore"
He exactly relates fear of failure to procrastination. It is an excellent book however not written in a very fancy way as some other self help books are written. But the message & techniques provided area great.I am sure this book will be a great help.
All the Best
Andy

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by MrProductive

I have to admit, I’m sort of a perfectionist.

There's a saying: Perfect is the enemy of good. I've found it to be true.

Originally Posted by MrProductive

Sometimes I wonder if my fear of failing is holding me back

As a recovering lifelong perfectionist, I can say that, yes, perfectionism is based in fear. In my case, it was fear of failure, and I think that's probably the case with most people, but it's always fear, regardless of the object.

Originally Posted by MrProductive

Or have any tips to getting around it?

Conquering fear is one of the most daunting tasks you can face. The best thing I've found for it is to face the fear head on. Really think about it, get into it. What would happen if you DID "fail" at something? Go with that, take it step by step into the worst possible scenario you can imagine. Eventually, it will snowball and get so absurd you can't help but see how pointless it all is.

I still sometimes struggle with perfectionism, but I'm much better these days. I spent a lot of time in introspection and soul searching and all that sort of thing. Getting rid of the underlying fear was the key, for me.

[ZephyrusX]

Yah, that is it. Here is a quick summary in .pdf format for those wanting to know what is inside the book before deciding to procure it.

http://www.hashref.com/summaries/TheNowHabit.pdf

The articles I brought up before aren't really relevant. They are just psych papers showing that children who have a lot invested into failing are less likely to do more challenging tasks compared to other children. They are more likely to give up.

Originally Posted by Andyandy

Hi Guys:

This is my first post & I have been following stevepavalina.com from last few days.I came across it through goggling while searching some keywords. It has been great learning. Now coming to the point to the question above:
Name of book is "The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by Neil A. Fiore"
He exactly relates fear of failure to procrastination. It is an excellent book however not written in a very fancy way as some other self help books are written. But the message & techniques provided area great.I am sure this book will be a great help.
All the Best
Andy

[alexb5784]

There's nothing wrong with making mistakes and failing. I've found just jumping in and walking around the fear to be the best thing to do. Some people try to get rid of their fears outright. That's the hard way to do it.

It's best to acknowledge you have the fear and then take action regardless. And when you notice that the same fears keep popping up, even though you're taking tremendous amounts action, then you'll need to eliminate the negative beliefs behind the fear.

Good luck!

[Prinie]

Mr. Productive,
I think sometimes it is fear based. My mom never fulfilled her dream. She procrastinates with starting her own business and with many other things because she's afraid of failure. We finally booked our trips out of the U.S for winter break and it took her months to do it (yes, I relied on her) with the fares going up and up and up because she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to pay her bills when she got back. My uncle and I had to do it for her.