why do people let guilt hold them back from continuing after they screw something up?

[Kronique]

saay a person sleeps in too late and they weren't supposed to

why do things like that sometimes hold people back and make them feel like screw ups the rest of the day? and so they unintentionally let that happen for the rest of the day?

[GregD]

because most likely it was not the first time that happened

because this is the 100th time that s/he is late for the same damn reason that s/he promised to self every time it happened it will not happen again

because s/he knows when s/he arrives to the office s/he will have the same look on the faces of others and the same conversation with the boss

because the brain already forecasts a number of events that will 99% chance happen because of this one event in the morning



it is not as simple as you try to make it
meditate on it and you will see more than black and white

[wanzulfikri]

We are a creature of habits. Bad habits lingers around until you muster up the willpower to change it.

Change needs effort and frankly, effort is a no-no for most people.

[wanzulfikri]

We are a creature of habits. Bad habits lingers around until you muster up the willpower to change it.

Change needs effort and frankly, effort is a no-no for most people.

[Verlan]

Perfectionism.

If a person with too high standards decides (as in your example) "I MUST get up early", and then doesn't do it, then by their standards they already have irrevocably failed.

There's no longer a way to achieve a level of performance for the day that person would deem as successful (save from going back in time, and that's impossible).

And believing their task is impossible naturally leads to inaction.

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by Kronique

saay a person sleeps in too late and they weren't supposed to

why do things like that sometimes hold people back and make them feel like screw ups the rest of the day? and so they unintentionally let that happen for the rest of the day?

Because along the way somewhere, its been drummed into you that certain behaviours or screw-ups are unacceptable to self and society. So the guilt reaction gives one the opportunity to either accept it as so and move on, or correct the behaviour.

Because it is a negative emotion, unless one is able to shrug it off, then one is going to carry that emotion for the rest of the day...therefore, that energy output will affect the days activities.

[Swifthawk]

Originally Posted by Kronique

saay a person sleeps in too late and they weren't supposed to

why do things like that sometimes hold people back and make them feel like screw ups the rest of the day? and so they unintentionally let that happen for the rest of the day?

Different folks focus on mistakes differently. Jonah Lehrer talks about this aspect of learning in his books and articles a lot.

To a certain extent this is a good thing, but some people just take it too far. They focus so much on a small mistake that they don't pay attention to what they are doing.

I'm sure most people do it at one time or another. You just get embarrassed and can't concentrate.

Plus, accidentally sleeping in always seems to screw up my day too. I hate rushing in the morning haha.

[Kronique]

Originally Posted by Verlan

Perfectionism.

If a person with too high standards decides (as in your example) "I MUST get up early", and then doesn't do it, then by their standards they already have irrevocably failed.

There's no longer a way to achieve a level of performance for the day that person would deem as successful (save from going back in time, and that's impossible).

And believing their task is impossible naturally leads to inaction.

thanks for the answer
it relates most to me btw

[Verlan]

Originally Posted by Kronique

thanks for the answer
it relates most to me btw

You're welcome :)
I think the other posters also made good points, btw.
I'm afraid I can't really offer a solution here since this problem affects me as well.
I do find, however, that simply having insight into how your mind works helps in getting yourself to do what you want to do.