Kind of stuck

[Enagee]

It seems like there is nothing or very little that I want to do and most of the stuff I do is something I do not want to do (I.e go on the internet, go out for a walk) the stuff is often pretty normal but I do it anyway but I always do not have a impulse to do it but is it ego if I do it. If I do not want to draw and do stuff on the internet what can I do and how do I not have ego and still have a life because whenever I am too "Fine be that way" (doing stuff I do not want to do makes me feel "fine, be that way") I feel like something tear me apart. Where do I start? I tried to clear my mind and start from now but then all I get is nothing- no thoughts. I cannot think of anything and what should I do.