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05-13-2007, 05:03 AM
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 High School At the beginning of highschool I realized that I had very little friends and couldn't get any girls so I wanted to change and personal developement seemed the way to go but after a year of reading books, blogs, and websites there hasn't been much change Iv tryed to use all of the techniques but it seems like they don't work at all with teenagers Doesn't anyone know of some good resources or advice for personal developement in highschool?      |
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05-13-2007, 05:32 AM
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| High school can be rough... and I'm sorry I cannot give you good resources or advice for personal developement in high school... but, human nature being pretty well the same throughout our lifetime, I could recommend a very good book... It has a corny name (How to Win Friends and Influence People... by Dale Carnegie) but the book has been a classic for over 70 years... and read by countless millions of people... I think that you could find it invaluable... and find most of the answers you need in it... Best of luck to you... and a great many friends... . |
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05-14-2007, 03:18 AM
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| Cool That's kind of cool, when I asked my dad this question yesterday, he recommended I read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" as well , and he gave me a copy. I'm definately going to read that book, I think I'll try to read some of it every morning and then use the techniques during the day. Do you think that it will help in getting girls at all? |
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05-14-2007, 03:28 AM
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| ideaGasms - The Seven Chakras This guy is the real deal. My life is COMPLETELY morphing. I've never been as happy as I am today and my life is getting better and better exponentially. As for the chicks: ideaGasms - Intro To iG Consciousness *EDITED* ideaGasms - Girlfriend Training Program PS: Get rid of that crappy "getting the girls" mentality. When you get the attitude of being a shameless qualifier, pickup is a joke. Ballz + vulnerability = wet puzzy.  Last edited by Dusty : 05-14-2007 at 05:02 AM. |
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05-14-2007, 04:09 AM
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 You must remember though... that book is not a bag of tricks... whenever you use any of the advice in it... you must be sincere... if not, it will shine right through... and it will not work... One thing that always work with girls is a little humility... they've pretty well had it with the machos... be nice... be yourself... and your chances are excellent... Good luck to you...  . |
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05-14-2007, 04:12 AM
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05-14-2007, 04:57 AM
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| Hang in there High school is just a really tough time. I don't have any great advice beyond noting that even in high school the guys I tended to be interested in didn't have to be the athletes or popular. Instead they were interesting, sometimes shy, sometimes not but they were considerate, treated me as a friend (i.e. would talk to me and LISTEN to what I said) and had a sense of humor. This hasn't changed much since high school. It is also worth pointing out that girls in high school are just as insecure as the boys. You might not get the response you are hoping for because the girl you are interested in or talking to just doesn't know what the "right" thing to do or say is. Hang in there and good luck! |
It's really sad people are uptight about sex. I won't go into why because I don't want to get banned. haha|
05-14-2007, 05:02 AM
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05-14-2007, 05:22 AM
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| Stop seeking other people's approval. Love YOURSELF. No, I'm not talking about wacking off in front of the mirror (lol), I'm talking about only seeking your own approval. Think about it - if you validated yourself so much that you didn't worry about what other people thought, how free could you be? If you TRULY do this, you are socially FREE! People will want YOUR approval. How many behaviors do people do to appease other people's egos? Yeah... like 90%. Just a warning though - too much self love can be a very scary thing. Low self esteem people cannot understand high self esteem people, so if you do get this, you will see them project a lot of their crap onto you. One third of the people will love you, one third will hate you, and one third won't give a <thisforumhasacussingfilterdammit!> It's not for the weak, but if you plow through, you will be in nirvana. affirmations: "I accept myself fully as I am." "I am truly loved." "I am enough." Assume people love you, and most of the time they will. Give people a role... like sometimes I'll hold the frame of "everything she does only means she wants me". If you get anxious - DEEP BREATHING. Last edited by Dusty : 05-14-2007 at 05:28 AM. |
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05-14-2007, 05:31 AM
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05-14-2007, 05:11 PM
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| Wait, wait, wait. Kid, it's good that you're getting an early start on personal development, but you're bringing it into the wrong arena. High school is a very complicated place to be. It's not like college, not like a job ... not like any part of the real world at all. There's SOOO much insecurity thriving in that environment. And as a result, most of your peers can and will be pretty cruel whenever they see an opportunity to put the focus on someone else's weakness. So if I were you, I'd take it easy on the self-actualization material as it's something most adults can't comprehend, let alone the people you're trying to befriend. But don't quit it altogether. Making friends isn't nearly as complex as half the stuff you're reading makes it out to be. You want friends? Start talking to people. What are you into? Sports? Video games? Music? If it's sports, start going to all the hometown games. If you're into video games, see who's reading gamer magazines at lunch and start talking about the hot new game that's coming out next month. If it's music, start going to all the local shows. Point is, if there's 1000 kids that go to your school, 999 of them might hate you, but there's got to be AT LEAST one who you share something in common with. And one is all you need. But even if you do approach everybody at some point, they're not gonna think you're some weirdo for trying to start a conversation. They'll just think you're friendly. ESPECIALLY the girls. They're the easiest to talk to, really. You just can't approach them in a way that makes you look like you're looking for a date. You have to come off as a strong person. Someone who's confident, who doesn't want or need anything from a girl, but instead thinks he has something that SHE might want or need. Don't go into a conversation with a girl nervously. Whether or not you make a good impression isn't what you should be thinking about. You've got plenty of time to meet plenty of women and have plenty relationships. So don't worry about that. Worry about learning something every time you talk to a girl. 'Well, I told Jane I really liked her eyes, but I think maybe that came across too forward. Next time I'll tell the girl I like her shoes.' ALWAYS be thinking about how you can do it better next time. And then make sure there IS a next time. Start with girls you wouldn't be nervous talking to. It might be shallow, but go for the girls you're NOT attracted to first. Get comfortable having long conversations with them so you can understand how to interact with women. Then, as you get more confident, you can start approaching the girls you ARE attracted to and they'll recognize that confidence. It might take you a while to get to that point, but that's OK. If you start working now, you'll be the man by the time you get to college. This is getting overly long, so I'll sum it up with this: personal development, whether it be for a teenager or a 50-year-old, is just about learning and using that knowledge to improve yourself. The only way you can really learn is by experience, so start experiencing what it's like to interact with people NOW. All the time, regardless of how much you get rejected, be approaching people and starting conversations. Your self-confidence will build itself naturally from this, and before you know it, you'll have more friends than you can handle. But don't stop there. Start going to the gym everyday, start taking better care of yourself, start working a part-time job, joining clubs---whatever. Always find a way to make yourself better than you were the day before and you'll be fine. Most importantly, though, focus on your education first, stay out of trouble, don't do drugs, and wear protection. |
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05-14-2007, 11:16 PM
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| whisper: (like an alpha male...) The potency of your confidence is really up-to your state of mind. I always found it quite refreshing to go down to the mall and find out how many phone numbers I could get from super hot stranger girls. It is sort of like playing Tetris. If you play it at normal speed everything seems, normal, right? But if you bump the speed up-to level 9 where it is coming down ridiculously fast - and play at that level for about five minutes; it will make 'normal' speed level seem ridiculously easy (its called 'over speed training' I used it more often in the Martial Arts and Track & Field then Tetris, but, it is a worthy example). Give it a shot, you might be scared ************-less at first, but, remember that these girls don't know you and no one can make fun of you so there is A) no threat to your life, and B) no threat to your social status. Approaching single girls is highly recommended. The clothing stores are a good bet for you too, especially since some of the employees are super hot. Pretzel stores too, girls flock to Pretzel stores!
__________________ "Speak your mind, even if your voice trembles." |
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05-15-2007, 01:42 AM
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Remember, you're giving advice to a high school kid...  . |
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05-15-2007, 03:40 PM
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05-16-2007, 05:59 AM
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| High School is all about being yourself and discovering who you are. Its not about finding out whats right in order to get people to like you. Some people will and some people wont. You can read books and try to implement techniques all you want but it wont make you feel any better as a person. Be yourself or be someone else (it isnt that hard), that is highschool. Trying to live it any other way and putting too much thought into it will just make the whole thing a chore. As for women: I suggest playing the field. Getting a girlfriend in highschool is overrated and nearly always involves heartbreak with the only benefit being sex...maybe. But you can get all that physical stimulation by just going to parties and you can get all the emotional stimulation by just being really flirty. It's better, trust me. |
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05-16-2007, 03:10 PM
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| Funny thread. Not the thread starter but some of the responses. Feminists are actually cool chicks, mostly. Especially the tom girls, or sporty girls. They are generally easy to read and confident and wish for equality. What's wrong with that? But then, why do women have to try to be in a man's world - where the man's world is so out of control as far as competition and non-equality goes? Way off topic, ha? As far as "getting girls" in high school and think personal developement would turn that around - that "getting girls" statement could be a sign of thinking having a girl friend is like acquiring a thing. How would that feel to a girl? To be acquired? Then, I'd just echo on eof the posters - find the clubs and joing them or go to sports events or local band parties (or better yet get a high school band going) or work as a stage hand or audition for a play, etc... Nothing like some common interests with other's to provide an opening for meeting opposite sex people. |