What's your biggest frustration around self/help

[Rob Ballentine]

What have you found to be your biggest single frustration around applying or using self-help techniques or material on yourself?

I spoke to a few of my friends and was surprised at their answer - they said 'time'. I was expecting them to say something along the lines of 'knowing what techniques to use' or 'believing in myself'.

Is this the same for you or different?

[Matthew Cluff]

I think that for "knowing what techniques to use," if anyone's truly serious about changing their results and their life, it's quite easy nowadays to find and learn information that will help you out.

"Believing in oneself," in my opinion, would only be troubles for someone who suffers from having a lack of self-esteem. If they had feelings growing up or encountered experiences where they thought "they weren't good enough," or "weren't worthy of achieving monumental success and having all that," then it may be difficult for them to create the right belief systems in their subconscious mind to help increase their self-esteem.

I think that the most difficult part of personal development/achieving greater success is...the actual application of knowledge in using the techniques you learn and continuously and constantly each and every day applying the right techniques form new desirable programming, create new positive habits, and feel emotions which resonate with happiness and abundance.

Many people start on the right track for the first few days when improving their results and changing their lives, but they end up slipping up and reverting back to their old habits and ways of life within the first little while before any permanent, lasting changes can be made.

[ZephyrusX]

Doubt. And time, I suppose. In my own experience, you just don't change old patterns of being over night. You take two steps forward and one step back, and over time, you begin to notice discernible differences in the quality of your life. But when you slip up and fall back into old ways of being, the doubt and lack of faith in your self can feel pretty crushing at times. I suppose it helps to remember that these intervals will eventually pass though, but then, sometimes you lose sight of that fact.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Rob Ballentine

What have you found to be your biggest single frustration around applying or using self-help techniques or material on yourself?

I spoke to a few of my friends and was surprised at their answer - they said 'time'. I was expecting them to say something along the lines of 'knowing what techniques to use' or 'believing in myself'.

Is this the same for you or different?

mine was not definitely not believing in myself

[BillyTheAdult]

My single biggest problem with PD is, and it is encountered over and over again in I would guess well over 90% of it, it is the main thing that separates good PD from bad.

THE HUGE BUILD UP. I find most books and programs spend all there time telling what they are going to tell you, and not actually telling you the thing. There is an introduction, a foreward, a preface, a chapter about how the technique was discovered, a chapter prepping you on how to apply the technique once you learn it, a chapter on what not to do, how not to use it and a bunch of other PC information that is usually no even actually true. JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!

By the time I've read or listened to all the unnecessary crap, I don't even care anymore.

Secondary problems are there is too much to choose from, or there is an entire process or system that needs to memorized. Remember, keep it simple stupid.

[BillyTheAdult]

Also the mere act of doing some kind of self improvement/development or whatever is an affirmation that there is something about you that needs to fixed, that you are not accepting yourself how you are.

[abcbac]

Mine is action. It is easy to read tons of books and articles on PD but if you can't apply in you life at all, it is pointless. You can't get killer abs just by reading a book about it. Sometimes I am just lazy. Other time I feel discouraged because I can't get results the next day. I am pretty sure that patience is an issue for other people too.

[Rob Ballentine]

Thanks for all your responses.

It's interesting when you begin to unpack this thing called personal development and why so many people find it hard and seek outside help is that they either find it too difficult, frustrating or desire to escape the self-responsibility of doing themselves- not that that's a bad thing, it's just a different way of getting what they want.

And yet the road to self-change though sometimes fraught with more difficulties tends to be the most rewarding.

[Clint Cora]

Personal development, like most other areas, comes in the form of lots of information. Reading books and listening to audio programs are helpful. Many people will make use of such content. But for others, content can only take them so far.

As some of the others have mentioned, taking action is often the barrier. Taking the right action for each individual is often required. Many people will find this hard to do.

That's why coaching in some form is often the key for many folks. No matter what field, including personal development, when there is somebody else hand holding you through a process that makes the content useful, the results are often much better than without a coach.

This is why the life coaching field has grown to become a needed one for many. I've often been asked by audience members at my talks to provide some sort of coaching program for those who want more than just reading a book or even attending a talk. They want somebody to take them through a route.

This type of frustration is real and represents a need in society.

[Maya2066]

Time is definitely a huge factor as well as application and action. It's so easy to read books after books with the hope of finding the final answer.

[cheesedip1]

[QUOTE=BillyTheAdult;1021534]My single biggest problem with PD is, and it is encountered over and over again in I would guess well over 90% of it, it is the main thing that separates good PD from bad.

THE HUGE BUILD UP. I find most books and programs spend all there time telling what they are going to tell you, and not actually telling you the thing. There is an introduction, a foreward, a preface, a chapter about how the technique was discovered, a chapter prepping you on how to apply the technique once you learn it, a chapter on what not to do, how not to use it and a bunch of other PC information that is usually no even actually true. JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!

QUOTE]

ROFL.

I get what you're saying.....

[Angelique]

Self-sabotage. It's a b♥♥♥♥.

[Griffithjj]

Hi everybody, hope you all have a nice week! I have registered on this forume for over half year, but have not really got the time to have a chat with your guys. With all the assignments and exams going on, I think that everybody needs a good break while feeling frustrated, such as spending 2 hours on your favourite movied, or 20 minites talking with your friend.......

[Rob Ballentine]

Griffithjj:

Funny you saying this, this is one of the 'big' things that people have been saying too, though in a slightly different way.

"Spend quality time for yourself" Self/help personal development etc is as much around having time to yourself and just 'being & enjoying" as it is changing.

I posted a new vid on my blog rebelcode.co.uk that looks at how to find the right beliefs that stop them. I think it echoes some of what people have said on here too.

Great comments!

[SlicK]

I hate the fact that 99% of PD treats effects and not causes. And that's what keeps you going around in circles for years, not the fact that you're not good enough as they make you believe. Good PD changes you in 1 month of application and it comes natural to apply, you don't need to push yourself hard because once you understand the cause, you change the cause, the effect changes, job done!

[taylor]

1. Fluff. Like Billy was saying, get to the point already.

2. Hype "Revolutionary" "Change your life" "Greatest" blah blah.

3. BS "Instant and Easy and Fun" etc.

If you remove those elements from self-help, most books for example are reduced to 15 pages. That's why I cherish the good self-help books which are so few.

[ZephyrusX]

Originally Posted by taylor

1. Fluff. Like Billy was saying, get to the point already.

2. Hype "Revolutionary" "Change your life" "Greatest" blah blah.

3. BS "Instant and Easy and Fun" etc.

If you remove those elements from self-help, most books for example are reduced to 15 pages. That's why I cherish the good self-help books which are so few.

What are the good self-help books, in your opinion?

[taylor]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

What are the good self-help books, in your opinion?

By good, I just mean have a higher content to fluff ratio or the ideas are incredibly significant.

Ones that come to mind: 7 habits (way too long, the abridged audio is fine), steve's book (don't need if u read the blog), 100 absolutely unbreakable laws of business success (or most Brian Tracy), war of art, how to win friends, the bhagavad-gita (if that counts).

But like Steve wrote, more important than individual books is the habit of reading a book a week. For example "A guide to the good life" was full of fluff but had about 4 techniques from stoicism that are very useful, therefore overall it's a good book. It's worth wading through fluff to find good nuggets. Tons of good books in this category: Tom Peters, Flow, Tony Schwartz, Leil Lowndes, Ellsberg, Tim Ferris, Kiyosaki, etc.

What's really bad is when it's all fluff or BS. I have multiple screening measures now to lower my exposure to this kind of media.