|11-14-2011, 04:43 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Personal growth requires leaving the zone of comfort. Is there another way?
There is a question related to personal growth to which I have no answer. But it haunts me for a long time. I want to share it with you.
In 1998 there was a very big crisis in Russia, during which I lost my job. The world changed beyond recognition. Empty cinemas and restaurants, no job offers. It seemed there was no chance to find a new job. I was a single mom with a small child. I needed a miracle ASAP. Someone advised me to go for a personal growth training of changing internal dialog. You have this training in the USA, its name doesn’t matter. It helped me a lot. Two weeks after the training I found a new job.
Some years later I met a person who also went to this training. He spoke very negatively about it. He said that a young man, who was at the training with him, and with whom he made friends, committed suicide “because he believed in all that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥”.
I may understand how it happened. All personal growth gurus write: to have a break through in your life you need to leave the zone of comfort". That training was very difficult emotionally. I myself lost 4 pounds of weight during the first day of that training. May be for this young man it was too much.
Is it safe to unbalance oneself seeking personal growth? Is it worth it? If you don’t leave the zone of comfort, how can you improve?
|11-14-2011, 06:48 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
In my humble opinion, leaving the comfort zone is a necessity in order to improve.
See, there is a universal law (very well explained by Dan Millman) which states that evolution follows demand. Therefore if you want to change yourself, you must change the demands you put on yourself.
The rest is a question of intensity. As with anything, leaving your comfort zone can be done too much and it can backfire on you (like this man). The safe thing to do is get out of your habitual zone but know your limit.
You can't get muscle while not lifting weight, but try to lift too much and your muscles will tear up. Same thing with humans
|11-17-2011, 06:11 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
Know Your Limits - Push past them gradually
I have to agree - most recently I am working on my social interactions. Both with friends and potential friends of both sexes and women I find attractive. The only way I've managed to meet new people and become more comfortable is to put myself out there.
I started with sports and activities that I enjoy - met people through those activities and then got into other sports with said people (rock climbing.) Then I took a class for outdoor rock climbing and met a whole new group of climbers looking to get out and push themselves.
The key seems to be knowing yourself and how far beyond your current limits / comfort zone you can push yourself. For anyone that isnt quite sure of those limits yet - just start small and go from there. Find a friend / place with whom / where you feel safe as a touch stone and allow yourself to relax, reset, and get ready for the next adventure or step toward your goal. For me - being outside on the top of a hill or mountain looking out over a valley or an area has always been a great way to clear my head and leave a variety of stressors behind. Sometimes writing also helps - or even writing on top of a mountain
Last edited by tcfxaox; 11-17-2011 at 06:14 PM.
|11-18-2011, 12:25 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Getting out of the comfort zone sounds like such a daunting task but really it is just our pessimism speaking. Especially when you compare that fear with the mental, physical and emotional perks of doing something out of the ordinary, it definitely feels worth the bearing.
In some cases, people are not sure where to draw the line. As they say, when in doubt, leave it out...the same applies here. But one has to be careful that if they are abandoning the idea of taking the plunge, it should not become a habitual pattern because that leads to stagnation that ultimately results in a trip downhill.
No one wants to suffer a decline, do they? So well constant reinforcement on the psychological front is required....techniques like affirmations and visualizations work wonders for sustaining this fearlessness.
|11-18-2011, 12:35 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Down the infinite rabbit hole
|11-18-2011, 03:47 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2009
I can related to the discomfort of moving out of the comfort zone!
Yesterday, I put my toes into the water of a 'new' career (actually one I followed many years ago - I decided I was ready to try it again).
On the way there yesterday morning, my stomach was a veritable swarm of butterflies, I felt nauseous. all sorts of things.
I can fully understand why anyone would rather stay in the comfortable little rut! I did have to give myself a long hard talking to!
|11-18-2011, 04:04 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2010
Location: South Florida
Personal growth does require moving out of your comfort zone. There is no way around it. Otherwise you will remain stuck. In order to grow, you need to change, embrace new habits and new ways of doing things. It's very hard but that's what growth is about, overcoming all those negative thoughts and ways of being.
|11-19-2011, 03:19 AM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida USA
That entirely depends on if you are comfortable acting in new ways.
Growth requires you to be and act differently. If you are only comfortable with the familiar, then you will be uncomfortable. If you love doing new things, then there will be no discomfort trying new things.
|11-19-2011, 02:10 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Actually I am not a big fan of getting out of my comfort zone.
I think that a lot of personal growth can be achieved through taking small, consistent, positive and non-stressful steps.
(And that in fact many stressful steps can be rendered relatively stress-free simply through breaking them down into smaller chunks. But that is another discussion).
|11-23-2011, 10:46 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
There's no choice but to face your fears to learn that most fears are just an emotion and not a reflection of some real danger.
Fear stops your from living and growing....it's just an emotion...it may be helpful, say if you see a rattlesnake. Or it may be useless if it's a social fear...people are just people.
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