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| Personal Effectiveness Goals, productivity, time management, motivation, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, habits, organizing, problem-solving, decision-making, intelligence |
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05-11-2007, 02:17 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 28
 |  Why I've quit PD and how I've been able to improve my life (very long)
Hi guys, Looks like a nice group. I originally found this site by searching under Tony Robbins. I'm 28 and got into PD about 4-5 years ago when I was getting out of college. I think it goes without saying that college was not giving me the answers I was looking for to improve my life. My dreams were very, very different than what was being taught. My dreams were self employment, bypassing the rat race altogether (like playing a boardgame, and bypassing this entire row of spaces in front of me). Financially, I didn't have huge, huge goals, to make tens of millions of dollars or anything. I just wanted no debt, make more than I spend, and build net worth and build asset value. And control over my life. Control over my time, my schedule. I wanted to achieve some things personally, but I didn’t want to live under a schedule, where I get a 2 hour block of time on Sunday to be with my family. Or a half hour on Monday evening to do something else. I got into PD after hearing about Tony Robbins (the guy with the big teeth  ). After awhile though, I got burned out on it all. It got to be more and more articles, more and more products, more and more time spent on message boards, and the net result wasn’t much. Does this sound familiar?This PD world was kind of a fog, no one was breaking out and doing anything (read tonys board for example). It also got veerrrry tiring. It’s like you have to be doing something all the time. Look at some of the threads on here…. “How to get me back on track” “I’ve lost my track – help” “Feeling overwhelmed, getting nothing done, don’t know what to do next” “Help I’ve lost my focus” “A fine line – burning out” “All this energy but don’t know where to start” “Stuck in a loop” And that’s just in the last few weeks!! And it seems like there’s no end point. The number one question for me after college was…how do I balance what I want, with friends, family, traveling, and just leisure? How do you climb the mountain, and at the same time, enjoy the scenery, and enjoy the ride up there? People dream about having the success of Tony or Oprah, or some celebrity, but those successes come at a huge cost. They are working all the time, or on the road all the time. They deal with all kinds of things that most people at home never have to deal with (lawsuits, management issues etc). It would be the difference between adding a deck to your backyard, and overseeing construction of a big hotel. There’s a huge difference in the level of responsibility. Everything. I went to a Tony Robbins seminar and he talked about Walt Disney, and all the struggles he faced, he got rejected by dozens of banks. But I don’t think anyone really wants to be the next Disney or build a huge amusement park. This isn’t a knock on any particular author or personal development in general, but there’s so much more to life than “achievement”, goals, mastery of a subject, and personal development. That’s not what I wanted to center my life around. So, here’s how I’ve been able to improve my life… *I sleep better than I have in years *I eat out 4-5 times a week *More free time *Financially, things are great *More flexibility *Overall quality of life is way, way up -I would seriously consider eliminating tv from your life until you get to where you want to be. It’s murder, fear, exaggeration, hype, manipulation. I also get turned off by the arrogance and self importance of the anchors and tv types. I still like DVD’s, love watching old shows, love watching movies, youtube, but regular tv (and all the ads) are a big turn off for me. I’ve watched very little this year, my quality of life has gone up tremendously. Get rid of advertisments for 30 days, and see what that does to your quality of life. If you were starting on “day 1 of life”, why would you spend a half or a third of your free time doing something that wasn’t going to get you anywhere? If you were *really* going to design a life, would tv be included? Would it be a high priority? A question that helped me get focused was…”what would I do if I was starting on day 1 of life?” If I could build any habit. If I could see anything, go anywhere, learn anything. If I could believe anything. If I could model or learn from anyone. Hmmmmm.. I think that’s pretty much the answer. On day 1, I’d jump on some powerful books, tapes, home study courses. I’d jump on building good habits…reading, keeping up with whats going on in the world. I’d jump on working smarter. I would not wait around for 10-15 years until I graduated from highschool to get started. I think that’s what kills people…a system that makes you wait around too long. Nobody has any momentum. In college a few years ago…no one had momentum to go out in the world at 22/23/24 and buy a house, settle down, and live by their own rules. I keep going back to that question, and for me, its been VERY powerful. On day one of life, what would I do? -I’d get out of the public school system after elementary school. It’s a huge waste of time and energy IMO. I’d learn much faster and much better things on my own. -I’d get savvy about sales tactics, persuasion tactics, and things you need to know to avoid getting sucked into situations you don’t want to be in. Good solid life skills. -Where would you want to live, where would you want to travel? What do you want to eat everyday? Junk, quality? Do you want to eat out? Where? -Would I document my life alot? With photos? -Do you want to tudor kids? -Would I live according to what others want me to do (corporations, ads, “the opinion makers”, the government) or would I live according to what I want to do? -What skills would I want to have? And keep going and going. It’s sounds simplistic, but that’s what I’ve moved towards. Instead of necessarily “doing something” or starting something new (or buying something, a new book, new course, new system) I’ve focused on getting rid of stuff that doesn’t work and moving towards that day one vision. There's also alot of value in just letting your mind unwind and relax. I don't read nearly as much as I use to on the net. I'm not trying to do 8 or 10 things at once any more. I think the more you let your mind unwind and slow down, you'll come up with great answers in that state. Much success guys, -John |
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05-11-2007, 03:19 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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Hello John… Very glad that you found what you are looking for… and that you are happy with it… However, about PD, I must say that I believe that the problem is not with PD… but the way you looked at it… Let me use an analogy to describe what I mean… I go to the gym regularly… been doing it most of my life… and, I have seen two types of people there… first, there is the gym enthusiast that goes there to stay in shape and to keep healthy… There is also the young studs that go there to become the next Schwarzenegger… they want to be world champions… they kill themselves with the heavy weights… eat 17 meals a day (only proteins) and drink four gallons of water… they blow $200 a week on supplements… and if they can afford it…$2000 on illegal testosterone drugs… The first group… are mostly “lifers” …they use their brains… they reap the benefits and enjoy the gym and life… the second group don’t last very long… they get sick of it… burn themselves out and quit… Same thing with PD… there is a right way and a wrong way of going at it… unfortunately… you chose the wrong way… No offense intended… . |
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05-11-2007, 03:55 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Netherlands
Posts: 821
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I have to agree with Shamou, it sounds like you took the wrong approach. PD isn't about the sprint and than relaxing the rest of the way and strolling along. Its about the long haul, its about getting momentum and keep moving forward regardless of obstacles. Its like a steam train, it takes a while to get going but once its on a roll than its near unstoppable... About the various threads: Well this is a place to ask for help, so naturally if people gets stuck they ask for help here even if it has been asked a million times before. As always on forums if you don't want to read or help than nobody is stopping you from doing something else instead.  Also a nice excersize to do is imagine that you are about to die and your at the end of your life. Looking back what would you have done differently and what do you regret? |
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05-11-2007, 04:17 AM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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