Change Your Life Slowly - My Log

[stevebrule]

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle


Hi I'm new here. I though I'd use this space to track the life changes I am making, and to share what I learn along the way.

This Aristotle quote sums up my view of the difference between productive, happy people and people who never quite seem to get what they want out of life. Unfortunatley, I'd have to count myself in that latter group. But I've never stopped attempting to improve my life, and persistence rules above all else.

Recently I realized how true this quote is. Research shows that willpower is finite. We simply do not have enough of it to force ourselves to do all the things we would like. The only way to get around this is to automate our goals, and automate the changes we want to make in our lives.

How do we do this?

Habit. Once a habit is automatic it doesn't require our limited willpower. Think about it. Do you have to force yourself to brush your teeth in the morning? Of course not. The only way to achieve our goals is to make them automatic, freeing our mind from the stress of self-discipline.

In the past I have attempted many goals at once (and I'm sure you have to), convincing myself that this time was different and I wouldn't fail.

But I did. Every time.

I realized about 2 months ago that I would never make the lasting changes I want if I keep doing the same thing. I started reading ZenHabits, and Leo said a lot of things that resonated with me.

Why are you in such a rush to change your life?

Why do you feel the need to tackle a dozen goals at once?

What would happen if you had patience and decided to change your life slowly?

I asked myself these questions and realized how impatient I have been. I'm 20 years old, and all 20 of those years have been spent getting me to where I am now. I can't expect to completely change my life in 30 days or even 12 weeks.

And so I started slowly.

I made the decision to make exercise, 3 days a week, an automatic habit. And I did. It took about a month of consistently forcing myself to go even when I didn't want to, but now I go without even thinking. It has been amazing. I have never had success in forming a habit like this.

But this was just a small test, a sample of what is possible. There is so much more I want to change in my life. But I won't get it done this year, or even by next year. I will change my life slowly, one habit at a time, until I am effortlessly living the life I want. I'm going to enjoy the journey, because in the end that's all there is.

I'm going to continue to slowly but surely add new habits to my life, and I hope I can learn from the community here as well as give something back along the way.

p.s. sorry this is so long, I guess I had a lot to say. I'm excited to meet people here and share my journey with you.

[stevebrule]

Hi guys.

So, introduction out of the way, I'd like to share the new habit I am working on. I hope to have you guys keep me accountable and help me out, and hopefully I learn a few things along the way that can help you guys out too.

Here's my big plan. You don't need to read the whole thing, I just find it helpful to write everything out like this. The gist of it is I am making the habit of doing 2 hours of homework every day before I do anything else. I'm starting small, just 30 min. a day, but I'm moving up from there

If you are familiar with ZenHabits, you will notice I cribbed most of my ideas from him. Leo is a smart guy (no offence meant to Steve Pavlina )

*Note: it's a 30 day plan, but this isn't a magic number. If I feel the habit isn't automatic after 30 days, I will continue with the plan. I will not, however, stop before 30 days.*


My 30 Day Plan

Start Date: 11/7

The Habit

My usual habit of coming home from class and wasting time on the iPad will be replaced with doing a solid 2-hour block of homework before I have any free time.

Mantra

Homework Done, Time For Fun (super lame, I know, but it helps. and yes, i find that rhyming matters. it sticks in the brain better)

Motivations For Changing

So many great motivations for this one...Firstly, it is time I live up to my academic potential. My procrastination has hurt my grades my whole life, and I am sick of being the smart kid who doesn't accomplish anything.

Secondly, I have less than 2 years to graduate with a decent GPA, and since I might get my graduate degree at some point this is important.

Thirdly, I have a long-term vision of my life that will never be realized if I don't start seriously changing my habits. There is a version of me I can see in my head that is productive, happier, achieves anything he wants to, who sets his mind to things and sees them through.

That is not me today. This habit is step one of a much needed journey, and I hope to enjoy myself and learn a lot along the way. I know I will not live the life I want by sticking with the habits I have now. This fact, more than anything else, is my number one motivator.

I refuse to look back on my youth and think I could have done greater things.

I refuse to die with regrets.

Obstacles & Strategies to Get Around Them

important projects (big essay, final exam, etc.)
when a project is assigned, that day i will break all the work down to manageable chunks and schedule them in a separate list in my to-do list. I will complete all work as scheduled, keeping my stress at a low. I will also remind myself that it is just a project, and that it doesn't have to be perfect.

friends (hanging out, etc.)
if i come back from class and people want to hang out or go somewhere, i will say no and tell them how much work i have to do. I will not give in because this is important to me. I will not make plans for times when I should be doing homework.

missing a day, or any small setback
i will not blame myself or give myself a guilt trip. i will write in here why i think i made a mistake, and i will move on. "excellence, therefore, is a habit." - aristotle

weekends
on weekends, i will not lay in bed for a long time like i sometimes do. i will wake up and get out of bed and shower. first thing after i shower, i will do my homework for the scheduled time. then i can enjoy the rest of my day.

vacation time at home
same as weekends. the only way to make it work is to do it first thing in the morning. this will set me up well for the rest of the day.

feeling sick
there will be no excuses, unless i am deathly ill. no "i dont want to, i feel bad" bullcrap. i will reward my self with something special when i do the work when i am sick.

Triggers

coming home from class
when i come home Tu/Thur. i will go straight to my room. no snacks, no nothing. I will do my homework block before anything else.

coming home from the gym
i will eat lunch, shower, and go straight to my room. i will go straight into work, no browsing for 'just a few minutes'. i will do my homework block before anything else.

using my ipad
if i haven't done my 2 hours yet, i will go straight to my timer and set it. then straight to the to do list and find what i need to do. until i have done my scheduled block of work, there will be no other use for my

thinking about doing work
instead of thinking about and over-thinking about doing work, i will set the timer immediately on my ipad, look at my to-do list, and get to work.

opening safari
until i have finished my 2 hours, i will never go to facebook or anything else on safari. i am only allowed to do thing related to homework. i will find what i need and not allow myself to get sidetracked. if i find something i really want to read i will add it to the reading list and check it out after i have finished my work.

5 minute breaks from work
during my breaks, i will not use my ipad at all. i will drink some water or go to the bathroom or take a stretch. the ipad makes it too easy for 5 minutes to turn into 15.

waking up on weekends
i will shower and then immediately do my homework. i will do nothing else until my homework block is done.

Support & Other Success Helpers

I will make an account on a procrastination/self-help forum (Done!). I will post a daily log there of my habit change, just something brief saying how my day went and if i did all my action items. I will also write a 500 word min. piece every week about something i learned from changing my habit, or some helpful trick, or anything i think would be helpful to people. i will post this to the forum. i have to find an active forum.

Weekly Plan

Week 1

Time Spent/day: 30 min req. before i do anything else.
11/7 Find forum to join, sign up
11/13 Post first article on forum
Reward for perfect week: candy/ice cream (reese's pieces or dark chocolate bar!), get to sleep late sunday
Consequence for more than 1 imperfect day: no ipad for non-homework uses for all of next week (for real)

Week 2

Homework/day: 1 hr.
11/20 post second article on forum
Reward: same as week 1, get to sleep late sat & sun
Consequence: same

Week 3

homework/day: 1.5 hours
11/27 post third article on forum
Reward: same as week 2
Consequence: same

Week 4

homework/day: 2 hours
12/4 post final article on forum
Reward: same, congratulate yourself
Consequence: same

Beyond

maintain habit
post at least once a week on forum

Daily Action Items

Every Day I:

Get assigned block of homework done
Post to progress forum
Read this plan before bed
Read Now Habit 15 mins.
Visualize & repeat mantra when i wake up, before i start my homework block, and before bed


Consequence if imperfect: no non-homework ipad the next day

[stevebrule]

Today went perfectly. I accomplished everything I wanted to, and did my 30 minute block of homework before anything else. It was a good day.

[neilpage]

Thanks' for sharing & Way Cool!

[Bongza]

Every night I make to do list for next day, that made me not to procrastinate.

[lifetimelearner]

I don't like the idea of consequences
but if you feel that's what is right for you
then I wish you well !

[stevebrule]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

I don't like the idea of consequences
but if you feel that's what is right for you
then I wish you well !

Creating a system where it was easier to continue my habit than it was to give up on it was crucial to forming my exercise habit. You should always reward yourself for good behavior. But negative consequence work because they make failing at your goal/habit so much more work than just sticking with the habit.

This post on zenhabit influenced me when I was starting my gym habit.

Engineer Life: Set Up Habit Changes So It’s Hard to Fail :zenhabits

It's a powerful idea.


Oh, and thanks for reading my post!

[stevebrule]

Today was 95% succesful. I forget to visualize my habit before I did my homework today. Not a really big deal, but I set consequences for myself and I have to stick with them. That means no ipad for recreational uses tomorrow

oh well, I have plent of work I want to get done anyway.

But I'm happy with the day. It is feeling easier to sit down and do my work. Far far less procrastination, though I did put some work or for a few hours today. But I hit my 30 min. goal for the day, and anything else is just icing on the cake.

Good night err'body

[stevebrule]

Today went perfectly. I got everything done that I wanted to and felt good about it

I've been reading/thinking a lot lately about how much our self-talk matters. The Now Habit suggests that we should use our negative thoughts as triggers for positive thoughts. Over time, the negative thoughts go away. I like this idea a lot.

[Partaker]

I love that quote and thanks for sharing your log.

I am doing something similar in my life right now and it does seem to be working slowly but surely, one day at a time... although I don't think I would be able to punish and reward myself. Is that a willpower issue??

[stevebrule]

Originally Posted by Partaker

I love that quote and thanks for sharing your log.

I am doing something similar in my life right now and it does seem to be working slowly but surely, one day at a time... although I don't think I would be able to punish and reward myself. Is that a willpower issue??

I believe that the things we do repeatedly, things that are so automatic we don't even think about them, we do because we have on some level come to expect rewards or good consequences from them.

Not all rewards are obvious. Sometimes they are material things. Sometimes they are simply a good feeling, a feeling of satisfaction.

I also believe that we avoid things we have associated negative consequences with.

Applying this to my habit changes, I think (and my experience has shown) that a habit will stick if the rewards are great for sticking with it AND there are enough negative consequences for not sticking with it.

Set up this way, you actually make it easier for yourself to stick to your new habit than it is to fall back to the old one.

Keep in mind, this isn't "oh you are a terrible person, how could you mess up, you made a commitment to yourself what's wrong with you" punishment. I came up with a plan for rewards and consequences before I undertook this. If I mess up I think "oh darn that sucks! Wish I could use my iPad, but rules are rules. How can I avoid this mistake in the future?"

For me, this creates a mindset where I am very focused on what I can do to achieve my goal, since I expect rewards for it and want to avoid the negatives.

[stevebrule]

Oh and thanks everyone for reading!

[stevebrule]

today was good. I went home from school for the long weekend. I didn't get as much work done as I would like, but I got my assigned half-hour done, and all my daily actions items accomplished. All in all a good day.

[Carri C]

i'm a big fan of gentle encouragement, small changes, propelled by self-love, that are sustainable over the long term. go well my friend. be kind to yourself. xx

[stevebrule]

I got all my tasks and homework done on 11/11. I was not home last night so I was not able to post here. I've already finished everything I need to today, so I'm off to have some guilt free play! Thanks for the kind words carri.

[Mehreen]

Thank you so much for this meticulous post. I admire your energy and consistency. Time management is an art and you seem to be on your way to attaining excellence in it. Great going!

Originally Posted by stevebrule

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle


Hi I'm new here. I though I'd use this space to track the life changes I am making, and to share what I learn along the way.

This Aristotle quote sums up my view of the difference between productive, happy people and people who never quite seem to get what they want out of life. Unfortunatley, I'd have to count myself in that latter group. But I've never stopped attempting to improve my life, and persistence rules above all else.

Recently I realized how true this quote is. Research shows that willpower is finite. We simply do not have enough of it to force ourselves to do all the things we would like. The only way to get around this is to automate our goals, and automate the changes we want to make in our lives.

How do we do this?

Habit. Once a habit is automatic it doesn't require our limited willpower. Think about it. Do you have to force yourself to brush your teeth in the morning? Of course not. The only way to achieve our goals is to make them automatic, freeing our mind from the stress of self-discipline.

In the past I have attempted many goals at once (and I'm sure you have to), convincing myself that this time was different and I wouldn't fail.

But I did. Every time.

I realized about 2 months ago that I would never make the lasting changes I want if I keep doing the same thing. I started reading ZenHabits, and Leo said a lot of things that resonated with me.

Why are you in such a rush to change your life?

Why do you feel the need to tackle a dozen goals at once?

What would happen if you had patience and decided to change your life slowly?

I asked myself these questions and realized how impatient I have been. I'm 20 years old, and all 20 of those years have been spent getting me to where I am now. I can't expect to completely change my life in 30 days or even 12 weeks.

And so I started slowly.

I made the decision to make exercise, 3 days a week, an automatic habit. And I did. It took about a month of consistently forcing myself to go even when I didn't want to, but now I go without even thinking. It has been amazing. I have never had success in forming a habit like this.

But this was just a small test, a sample of what is possible. There is so much more I want to change in my life. But I won't get it done this year, or even by next year. I will change my life slowly, one habit at a time, until I am effortlessly living the life I want. I'm going to enjoy the journey, because in the end that's all there is.

I'm going to continue to slowly but surely add new habits to my life, and I hope I can learn from the community here as well as give something back along the way.

p.s. sorry this is so long, I guess I had a lot to say. I'm excited to meet people here and share my journey with you.

[stevebrule]

Things are going smoothly. My weekend home wasn't perfect, but I got everything done that I needed and wanted to.

I'm finding it easier and easier to start my homework my thoughts are starting to change from "I have to do this or that" to "I want to do this, when can I start?"

I'm happy.

And thanks so much mehreen om glad you liked my post!

[Mickeyjay]

It's great what you're doing. To be quite honest, your story is one of the reasons I joined this forum (I literally signed up 15 minutes ago). I was inspired by your plan of action and will definitely sit down this tuesday or thursday for 2-3 hours and just plan everything out. Good luck to you!

[jackkrrobinson]

Personal effectiveness is very big thing to explain.Create a system which is easier to continue my habit, my exercise habits than to the formation of the key. You should always reward their good behavior. But the negative consequences of work because they make your goals / habits do not just insist on so much work habits.

[stevebrule]

Hi everyone! It was great being back at school today. The structure of school makes my habit change easier to stick with, I think.

Today was great. I added another half hour to the amount of homework I accomplish each day. It was easy to do and I barely noticed it I've been finding myself thinking and planning about when I wanted to do homework and what homework I wanted to do, very different from my past habit of pretending homework didn't exist.

And Mickeyjay, I'm really glad I inspired you to join the forum. It's definitely a good place to be if you're interested in improving your life.

Remember, don't get all excited about making changes and then overwhelm yourself. I did that for years before I realized it was leading nowhere.

Take it slowly. Choose one thing you want to change, one new positive habit that will have an impact on your life. And devote yourself to that habit/change until it is second nature to you.

It might take a month, it might take more. But if you stay focused, I guarantee at some point it will just become part of who you are.

Life is long. Enjoy the life you have now, make small changes, and a year or two down the road you will be surprised at how much better it is.

Good Luck!

[stevebrule]

Oh and to everyone (especially Mickeyjay) I really recommend reading these posts over at ZenHabits

The Best Way to Successfully Overhaul Your Life :zenhabits

How I Changed My Life, In Four Lines :zenhabits

The Single-Changing Method :zenhabits

Leo has influence my thinking a lot, and ever since I've taken his ideas seriously I've been making actually, lasting changes in my life. He's a smart dude.

[padycustom]

Originally Posted by Bongza

Every night I make to do list for next day, that made me not to procrastinate.

We are doing the same thing and I am glad to be able to read this thread, it helps enlighten some question on my mind. Thanks.

[Mickeyjay]

Hey Steve, I appreciate the links. I've been a victim of trying to do too much; thinking "more is better." Leo makes a lot of sense and I actually just wrote down those four lines on an index card to keep in my wallet whenever my mind starts racing with "what do I do" questions. So rather than just sitting here and thinking all of this is cool and enlightening, I'm going to make that small change..

1.) Read and/or Post everynight before I go to bed.
2.) Pray before I go to bed.
3.) Go to bed before 1am.
4.) Wake up by 8-830.
5.) Meditate then hit the gym.

That is how i'll end my day and start my day...everyday!

[Mickeyjay]

Originally Posted by padycustom

We are doing the same thing and I am glad to be able to read this thread, it helps enlighten some question on my mind. Thanks.

I just start doing that a couple of days ago and it's been working. I just have to remove some distractions out of my life i.e TV. One time I lost my remote control for maybe 2 months or so and noticed that the house was cleaner and more things got done. Next thing on the To-Do list...lose remote control.

[stevebrule]

Hey guys! Today went well. I once again found an hour to be no problem to finish. Plus I got it done early, which made me enjoy the rest of my day much more.

Though I completed as much time as I assigned myself, there was a particular assignment that I had wanted to finish that I procrastinated on.

But I learned from it.

I realized that ias avoiding the assignment because I felt overwhelmed by all the parts of it. Rather than focusing on what I could do to start right now, I focused on the many steps I would have to finish before the end. I also dislike this assignment, and played the poor me why do I have to do this game.

Tomorrow I am going to focus on what I can do to start, no matter how small. I will focus on one step at a time. If I consistently start, I will finish.

[stevebrule]

Got my action items done for the day. Things still going rather smoothly.

[stevebrule]

Bit of a typo last time, supposed to have been 11/16. Anywho, I finished every thing today, my homework was a breeze. Yeehaw

[stevebrule]

Hey goes, so I slipped up a little yesterday. I got caught in the whirlwind of activities on Friday and didn't post here or get all my daily action points done. I think that for weekends I need to make myself a schedule. Otherwise it is too easy to let other things take priority over my schoolwork.

As for today, it was great. I got everything done and had a very enjoyable day.

Live and learn

[stevebrule]

All action points done today. great weekend