Feeling Authentic

[cheesedip1]

How does one go about doing things without feeling fake while doing them?

Let me explain...

It's like trying to improve my social skills or caring more about others....

I'll talk to someone or something , then sometimes I might doubt myself saying that:

"Oh, you don't really care about that person."

or

"What's the point of talking to people? If I say something It'll feel like I'm just faking being social when I'm not THAT social."






--What can people do about this?

Is it a matter of just doing it , even if it feels awkward? Kind of like, you just have to do it, until it becomes you? (Acting in accordance with who you want to be)



???

[cheesedip1]

Sometimes I feel fake even though, it's probably jsut self doubt because really.... I know my true self LOVES being kind, helping others and interacting with other people, so maybe I just need to just do what my heart wants me to do. (Care about others)

[Ken Benjamin]

You've got to work from your own heart.

If you don't want to talk to people and be social, don't.

Why bother faking it?

Okay, yes, you need to be nice at parties and try to be sociable sometimes but if you don't feel it, don't push it.

Not everyone is an extrovert. Maybe this will help get you started:

The Power Of Personality Testing - Understand Yourself, Understand Everyone Else

If you do want to improve your social skills, work in ways where there is some heart in it for you. It should be a matter of courage, not a matter of faking it.

Ask someone a question you'd like to know the answer to and see what they say instead of just using small talk. That might also help.

[CroMagna]

Why do you feel the need to be so social with strangers? They have their own lives and families.
If you really don't care then why pretend to? That *is* fake. Who told you that was a worthy goal?
If you want to care more, you can take care of your friends and family or join a support group
where otherwise off-putting behavior would be expected.

[cheesedip1]

Okay, I DO care. I just think my mind keeps doubting myself or something.

You guys are right, though. It's best to just be who you are.

[Clint Cora]

It's great that you care about others. I think it sounds like you just need to learn to conduct yourself so that you come across as genuine. It could also be a matter of developing social skills more so that your interactions are worthwhile for all parties.

[Keast]

I feel the same way, it being fake. My psychology teacher made me tell her all about my social anxiety and gave me a homework assignment to start a real conversation with three strangers and write a paper on it. Maybe it's about building social skills more than being real, putting yourself out of your comfort zone. On the contrary I believe that you have to be comfortable to be fluently social, so maybe trying to build social skills with strangers is the wrong idea, I think it's best to build your social skills where you feel comfortable first, and then when you have less doubt/feel ready for a bigger challenge, then try moving on to strangers when you learn how to connect better. Maybe learning better listening can help you make more connections and find more to care about in what stranger says. Just an opinion.

[EmanQ]

Originally Posted by Clint Cora

It's great that you care about others. I think it sounds like you just need to learn to conduct yourself so that you come across as genuine. It could also be a matter of developing social skills more so that your interactions are worthwhile for all parties.

he got it right.