What does adulthood mean to you?

[Traikan]

I'm 21, but I'm still a boy in a lot of respects. I realized the reason I haven't "grown up" completely is because I'm not satisfied with the conventional definition of adult, but that I haven't come up with my own definition to substitute in its place.

I already know the obvious things, such as replacing "adults can't be silly" with "I'm going to be a very silly adult" and dumping "adults must have a job and a car" in favor of "I make money by contributing genuine value and I'll get a car when I need one and not a moment sooner" but in terms of more complex things like compromise, making friends, casual socializing, hosting events, talking about oneself vs talking about others... I just do not know.

At this point I'm looking for raw input to get my brain whirring, and to aid in my brainstorming, I thought I'd put the question out there.

What do you think it means to be an adult?

And if you're inclined to be more specific, what do you think it means to be a man?

[Swede]

To me adulthood is to be able to take responsibility.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Swede

To me adulthood is to be able to take responsibility.

Oh, drat--you beat me to it!

[lifetimelearner]

What do you think it means to be an adult?
the first thing that popped into my head is that i get to eat dessert first !

[ZephyrusX]

Having the presence of mind to know what you truly want and assuming the responsibility needed in order to be a living example of your values and principles. If that includes being silly, so be it! *Makes faces at Traikan*

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Having the presence of mind to know what you truly want and assuming the responsibility needed in order to be a living example of your values and principles. If that includes being silly, so be it! *Makes faces at Traikan*

you are funny !

[ZephyrusX]

Merci beaucoup!

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

you are funny !

I might be going off in the wrong direction with this, but I wouldn't conflate maturity with gender roles too much. I think a healthy individual exhibits signs of both femininity and masculinity. Almost to the point where I sort of feel like they become meaningless terms at times. Gender roles are what prescribed by society. Having the presence of mind involves working past that cultural programming and going after the values you truly want.

Besides, there is often a false dichotomy between gender roles implying that you can either be one or the other. I've come to the realization that I can be very strong and yet nurturing at the same time. There is no need to get fixated over gender roles as they will often lead you astray.

Originally Posted by Traikan

And if you're inclined to be more specific, what do you think it means to be a man?

[OptimistPrime]

Like I said in the living-with-your-parents thread, I more or less agree with John Cheese's definition of an adult, i.e. being a person whom other people can depend on.

[Sandstone]

Originally Posted by OptimistPrime

i.e. being a person whom other people can depend on.

I really like that one.

[Mariana Trench]

Finally being able to vote and enter into contracts...

Okay, hmm, besides a legal adult? I really love this:

Originally Posted by Zephy

Having the presence of mind to know what you truly want and assuming the responsibility needed in order to be a living example of your values and principles. If that includes being silly, so be it! *Makes faces at Traikan*

[carolynggme]

I'll give you the perspective of a geezer. You become an "adult" when you undertake, whether by choice or circumstance, responsibility, if only for yourself. Keep doing that & you'll be a grown-up!

[abcbac]

when you stop taking flintstone vitamins haha

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by abcbac

when you stop taking flintstone vitamins haha

so we are supposed to stop taking them ?

[Traikan]

Thanks for the input everyone! I'm starting to cook up my own personal definition of adulthood, the total responsibility part really resonates with me, especially responsibility to myself (specifically my ideal self) over responsibility to a conditioned ideal.

Now, with regards to being a man...

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Besides, there is often a false dichotomy between gender roles implying that you can either be one or the other. I've come to the realization that I can be very strong and yet nurturing at the same time. There is no need to get fixated over gender roles as they will often lead you astray.

Quoted for truth, as they say.

I'm still mulling all this stuff over and don't have any personal insights to share yet, but I wanted to say thanks for all the replies and the links.

Also I love my Flintstones vitamins and you can take them when you pry them from my cold dead hands.

[awdye]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

What do you think it means to be an adult?
the first thing that popped into my head is that i get to eat dessert first !

Haha....me too. I've often told kids this.

On a more serious note. I'd say it's when you have personal response-ability for your path in life.

It's not so much that you can't receive help from others for things, but that you are the main contributor to your welfare.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Swede

To me adulthood is to be able to take responsibility.

Sounds about right -

It comes about age 12 if you let it!

If you suppress it (as school and work tend to do)... then you can get stunted child-adults who NEVER grow up.

[stevebrule]

For me, being a real adult means taking responsibility for every single one of your actions, and inactions.

When you hold yourself responsible for your happiness and your success, you are truly a mature person. Only kids should blame their problems on other people or situations.

[tcfxaox]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Having the presence of mind to know what you truly want and assuming the responsibility needed in order to be a living example of your values and principles. If that includes being silly, so be it! *Makes faces at Traikan*

I have to second this one - my gut response is very similar. There are many people, including myself, who are 'big kids' as adults. (I'm generally happy, I try not to take things too seriously, I get the task at hand finished and then go have fun, often...if I can...I make the task fun aswell. From time to time, I get a bit down but I recognize it before too long and change my actions).

The point is to 1.) Understand yourself and your goals. 2.) Consciously move toward them. 3.) Stop and take stock of yourself and your actions regularly to make sure you are still moving toward said goals.

We all get off track now and then - being able to admit this and steer ourselves back in the desired direction is, to my mind, a defining quality of a responsible and successful adult.

[samual]

I may be in the wrong direction with this, but I will not confuse gender roles mature too much. I think a healthy person, exhibits signs of women and men. Almost to the point, I feel like they become meaningless terms, sometimes. Gender roles prescribed by society. Leisurely involved in the past, cultural programs and the value you really want to post.