making your own decisions if people don't agree

[introspective1]

If you make a decision that someone doesn't agree with( like your friends or family), do you argue with them about the decison and continue with your decision? I feel like sometimes i make decisions that my friends or family don't approve of and sometimes i let their opinons influence me. I know that it's my life and i have to do what makes me happy. I just want to know what to do when you make a decision and someone tells you that its wrong to follow that course of action..do you try to get them to see why you are right? how do you get them off your back?

Example: I am about to graduate from college and i am trying to get into sports marketing. My hometown is not anywhere near where i live now or want to live after graduating. My brother thinks i should move back to my hometown because he thinks i will have better opportunities to get into the field that way because the amateur sports teams their tend to hire entry level college grads. However i told him, that i could find those types of jobs all over the country, but for some reason he thinks i have a better shot at getting a job in my hometown...however, i have told him that i have no intentions of moving back there. He said, "well you don't always get to choose your location". I feel as though i CAN choose a job wherever i want (for the most part) because life is all about choices, but i couldn't get him to see my point about my decision not to return home after college and I was very upset that he tried to argue me out of my decision

[A.K.Light]

I always hear people out if they think it's important enough to tell me about. (Especially those who I am close to.) Ultimately, though, it's my decision. I think that it's often not about the logical arguement, but what the conclusion will mean personally to each person.

There might be ways to skip the whole arguement and cut to the root of the problem. Maybe he just wants you stay because he misses you, but he's just not saying it like that. I can't know for sure, of course, because I'm very limited on information. But what if you were like, "Look, bro, I know we're going to be far apart and we'll miss each other, but we'll still see each other as often as we can and we'll keep in touch through emails and stuff too. I really think this will be better for me if I move somewhere else."

I don't want to pretend like I actually know what I'm talking about, I'm just offering my perspective on it.

[Sunnybayes]

This thread kinda discusses this.
Its about how people deal with criticism. If people are trying to go against you then they are basically criticizing you.

[introspective1]

Originally Posted by Sunnybayes

This thread kinda discusses this.
Its about how people deal with criticism. If people are trying to go against you then they are basically criticizing you.

Some of those responses on the other thread were good, but no one really talked about how they make their own decisions in spite of the criticism. I guess i was just tryin to gauge the number of folks who can deal with the criticism and life live on their own terms

[Freelancer]

This is how I do it now;
I listen to other people first, I ask them questions and I try to understand there viewpoint.
Than I explain my viewpoint and ask them questions if they understand it.
Than I make a descision based on both viewpoints and what I think is best for me.
Than I tell them my descision and follow through with it
Than the issue is over for me and usually they drop it. If not I ask them if there viewpoint changed in any way, if not I ask them to drop it. If they don't well tough luck for them because I'm not going to argue with them anymore...

[ethereal]

I like Freelancer's method so much more productive than mine. I still get dragged into arguments because of some mental attachments to "being right", I think.

Would probably help to let go of these attachments, and you'll probably see the intensity and quantity of your arguments diminishing.

Living consciously already means going against the majority of the world and getting heaps of criticism, so I think you can already handle making your own decisions despite criticism. It's just a matter of seeing arguments as pointless and letting them go

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by ethereal

I like Freelancer's method so much more productive than mine. I still get dragged into arguments because of some mental attachments to "being right", I think.

Would probably help to let go of these attachments, and you'll probably see the intensity and quantity of your arguments diminishing.

Living consciously already means going against the majority of the world and getting heaps of criticism, so I think you can already handle making your own decisions despite criticism. It's just a matter of seeing arguments as pointless and letting them go

I agree, most people are enormously attached to there side of the argument. If you want to convince anybody they first need to feel understood or else they won't even listen to you. So the first step is SO incredibly important, LISTEN before you talk.

[introspective1]

Originally Posted by ethereal

. It's just a matter of seeing arguments as pointless and letting them go

I have never looked at it this way..I guess the arguments don't have to mean anything, so i should just let them go in one ear and out the other. I have to stop trying to prove my decisions are "right" all the time. If someone challenges my decisions, i usually take that as an insult to me. I feel like the person thinks i am a bad person for making decisions they dont think are right

[JohnPlace]

Other points of view are helpful if they give you something meaningful to chew on. However, at the end of the day, it's your life. Listen to what others have to say and then make the decision that's right for you.

Don't be afraid to take a stand.