|10-22-2011, 08:11 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
Lethargic, apathetic me
As the title implies those are two words that easily describe me. I'm 19 and over time I've developed this strong sense of apathy and when I look at it from an internal view, it's really disturbing. Not to mention the fact it's holding me back a great deal.
I'm currently a sophomore in college and I first noticed this unproductive tendencies back in freshman year. To sum it up I just can't get anything done, from school work to business relating to my future.
My day usually consists of: Waking up at 2pm drowsy, instantly grabbing my laptop. Laying in bed for an hour or so while on the internet, then if not prompted to play video games by my friends I'll shower, eat, and go right back to the laptop. Somewhere in between the things I need to get down just go down the drain, and when I finally remember I go "eh, I'll do it before such and such day so I'm fine". Surprise, I usually end up a day before the date before my assignment is due or whatever, then lazily piecing something together.
I just don't feel compelled to do anything. I have to be provoked by other just to play video games that I love. The only thing that can hold my attention is working on my site. It's almost an escape, and I won't allow myself to get away from it. I know deep down it's doing nothing for me as far as real life aspirations go, but I can't be bothered to stop thinking about it.
I keep saying I'll change my ways but I never do. I know some would say "oh, easy, just stop getting on the internet so much and you'll be forced to do something else". While this is true, I feel incredibly impelled to check up on my website though I know I don't have to.
I'm just so worried about where I'll end up if I don't start feeling some sense of ambition and urgency. I'm barely skating by and I know my luck will eventually run out, as I've seen it happen to my sister who failed out of college. I'm really smart and I know I can do the right thing if I put my mind to it, but God is it hard. Not that I'm using this as an excuse but I have zero support so it's basically just me and my thoughts at this point. My father is too self centered to genuinely care about this. I live with him and while he does note that he never sees me study, he'd offer no real advice or even take me seriously.
I feel good just getting this all out though, because I know it's progress to being a more productive person. I plead that anyone who has some advice for my problems do share.
Last edited by MikeF; 10-22-2011 at 08:19 AM.
|10-22-2011, 02:17 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Mississauga, On Canada
I think you should be proud of yourself to at least recognize that you may be heading into something that won't be good for your future, especially if you already have a family member who has gone through I imagine a similar experience already. Your immediate objective is to not fail out of college.
If you never caught my video on college study skills strategy, do see it as it has helped many college students.
Now for another important objective, you ought to really think about who you want to be in several years. What would be an ideal life for you?
Then determine what you have to do to reach it. If there are certain areas that you want to get into and there are organized clubs or groups on campus, do check them out. If you have exposure to certain students or others on campus who you respect and have admiration for some of the character traits that they have, hang out with them.
The habits of people who are already involved in the areas you might be interested in as well as have the character traits that you would like, will start to influence you if you get more exposure to them. Right now, it doesn't seem like you have anything or anyone who really motivates you to get into gear so getting exposure to such people will be useful.
If you can get involved with certain groups that you might like and have interest in, it may set you up with some accountability which you need right now. You need certain people and projects, preferable in the same interest areas as you, to make you accountable so that you take more action in general. This alone will help motivate you in general more.
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