Steps for finding happiness

[Bongza]

What follows are some great strategies for finding
happiness. Look for ways to apply the ideas you learn into
your life. If you enjoy today's newsletter please consider
passing it along to someone you know who might enjoy it.


Three Simple Steps to Finding Happiness
By Michelle Prince

What if we could go through life without worrying about
money, jobs, kids, relationships, and just be happy?

Happiness is not a destination. It is a positive feeling of
appreciation, gratitude, and contentment about our current
situation. We achieve this feeling by focusing on and
acknowledging all the good things in our lives.

Abraham Lincoln said: "Most people are about as happy as
they make up their minds to be." It's really not so much
what happens to us in life, but how we respond to those
happenings.

Step #1 Make The Choice...

Regardless of the situation or circumstances, we get to
choose whether we want to feel happy and energized, or
miserable and lethargic. Obviously, we will feel better if
we respond to life with positive energy and a plan for
moving forward. Taking the low road by moaning and groaning
about life's injustices can only lead to anger, resentment
and frustration. What a lot of wasted energy!

That doesn't mean the high road is easy. Often our first
impulse when something unexpected happens is to tense up,
burst into tears, throw a tantrum, or look for something or
someone to blame. This is a typical knee-jerk response that
is related to our basic survival instinct. Acknowledge this
instinct and then take a deep breath.

Stop and reflect. Ask yourself: How do I want to feel? What
do I want? (What is the desired outcome?)

Step #2 Let Go...

What's on your unhappiness laundry list?

Go ahead; make that list. Here are some samples:

1. Not enough money.
2. Too busy.
3. Betsy is always in a bad mood.
4. Bruce never does want I want him to.
5. My sister acts so nasty toward me. There's no reason for
her to be nasty!

What can you do to change each of these unhappiness items?
I'll give you some hints.

1. I'm so grateful for the money we do have. I'm also
grateful that we live in a world of opportunities where we
can always look for ways to augment our income.

2. I enjoy managing my time well, so I never have to feel
that I'm too busy to read stories to my children, or create
a wonderful bedtime experience for them when they can share
all the events of the day with me.

3. I'm going to do something special for Betsy today. I know
she's depressed about being overweight. I'm going to
compliment her on her computer skills; she's a genius and I
think she doesn't really know that.

4. Bruce is only two years old and he's eager to test his
wings. I will be loving and firm with him, letting him know
who's in charge. I'll make the rules into a game.

5. Repeat Number 3 with a variation. What would make your
sister feel special, loved, wanted, and needed?

Place those negative feelings into the washing machine and
add plenty of detergent.

How many people do you know who can still recall some of the
terrible things that happened to them years, even decades
ago? I know a woman in her mid-sixties who can still
remember names that the "mean kids" called her in elementary
school.

That's a long time to carry around that memory. I wonder if
she remembers any of the compliments her grade school
friends paid her.

For some reason, our minds tend to store "junk." We hold on
to all the bad things that people have said or done to us
through the years.

Over and over in our heads, we replay tape loop of life's
injustices: justifying our hurt, anger, or bitterness. Why?
Why hold on to all of that? Make a list of reasons. Can you
come up with at least one reason for keeping yourself in a
state of feeling bad, resentful, angry or depressed?? What
is the pay-off? Release the junk. Make room for more joy!

Step #3 Be Grateful...

Being thankful for what you have and who you are is critical
to the way you feel about yourself and your situation. It's
so easy to focus on what's going wrong, but why not be
thankful for what's going right? Again, we are deciding to
feel this way, based not so much on what is happening around
us, but with what is happening within us.

Our bodies respond with a powerful, positive sensation when
we express our gratitude; it is that sensation that creates
happiness. Focusing on good things makes us feel good.

Has anyone ever paid you a compliment that you didn't
accept? For example, has someone told you your new dress is
very becoming and you responded by saying, "Oh, this old
thing?"

Maybe at work someone complimented you on a job well done
and you responded, "It was nothing."

Why is it often difficult to accept a compliment? Why can't
we be grateful and just say "thank you"?

When we decline a compliment, we think we are being humble,
but the message it delivers to our subconscious is
altogether different.

Rejection of a compliment sends a message to the brain that
we are not pretty, or smart, or hard working! This response
also makes the person who paid us the compliment feel bad
because we didn't accept it.

When we are grateful and accept the kind words someone has
given us, it makes us feel good inside. That compliment is
stored in our "hard drive," and continues to deliver
positive energy.

Have an attitude of gratitude. Make a choice to be grateful
and happy. Be grateful for the job you have, even if you are
not happy in that job. Be grateful for your co-workers, even
though they may drive you crazy. Be grateful for your boss
who is hard on you, but also challenges you, and makes you
stretch further than you thought you could.

I guarantee if you will start being grateful for the things
in your life that make you happy, or even unhappy, you will
experience a wonderful upsurge of new energy.

Suddenly, change is in the air! You might arrive at work one
day and notice that you really do enjoy your job and
appreciate the uniqueness of your co-workers. You might even
think everyone else has changed, but it's really you who
flipped the switch to the Happiness Channel.

Why not give that flip-switch a try? The alternative is
staying exactly where you are; and if that doesn't feel
good, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


And remember...

It's your life, LIVE BIG!

[raykilleen]

From experience; happiness is a byproduct of self inquiry.