I Want to Move Out

[CroMagna]

I no longer love my mom or my grandmother. I no longer care what they think of me. They know nothing about me, my grandmother is way too needy and weak (especially considering the fact that she's not that old), and my mom doesn't accept the fact that I'm queer. I'm sick of them. I feel like I'm living in uncomfortable territory. To make matters worse, my mom just announced that my little cousin who's twelve might be coming to live here and might share my room. So I'll have no privacy whatsoever and won't be able to avoid them like I am now.

I'm getting too old for this. I need my space. But my part-time job doesn't pay enough for me to move out. Plus my plan was to get a second part-time job that would enable me to pay off the balance I owe my alma mater and go back to school to get an MSW.

I need a plan to move out ASAP. Should I just forget about paying off my college and just try to pay rent? Should I get a second part-time job or quit my part-time job and get a full-time job? If I get a full-time job, I won't be able to work at my part-time job because you need to be there at 5:30 pm and I also probably won't be able to go to therapy which I really want to go to. Plus a part-time job would be easier to land. But I don't know if two part-time jobs would be enough to pay rent.

Should I suck it up and keep living here and pay off my school/think long term? Plus I might not even be accepted into an MSW program.

[NoJobRob]

This is not advice, but if it were me and I were going crazy living with family, I would get the hell out. LOL Sometimes it's best to just take care of your immediate needs first, and then devise your long-term plan. Gotta stay sane! I went through something similar to this about 5 or 6 years ago after getting out of the military. It was nice being with my family again, but after so long I was itching to move out, so I did.

Side note: two part time jobs can actually make you more money than one full time job. 20 hours at one, 30 hours at the other. Or 25/25, 10/40, you get the point...

[CroMagna]

That wasn't advice? That was excellent advice! Thanks NJR!

I will work on moving out and worrying about going back to school later on in life. As a therapist, I would only be making 40K a year plus at least 50K in loans so I'm not even sure I want to do that. If I get a job without going back to school I'm looking at about 30K a year plus 20K in loans so it's the same thing.

So I'll just work on moving out and starting my life. I'll look for a second part-time job that will enable me to continue going to therapy and working at the other part-time job.

Thanks!

[Andrew Brunelle]

If you truly want to move out, you have to make enough money to do so, or at least get a roommate. If you got a roommate who you knew would pay half of everything, you could probably pull this off. If you got 2 part-time jobs, you'd have to balance them as well, and you'd probably be better off with a full-time job that is flexible enough where you can create your own hours of when you can work and when you have to go to school.

Go where you will be accepted, and definitely move in with someone you trust and know pretty well. Otherwise, you might wake up one morning without your kidneys.

[ZephyrusX]

I was going to suggest getting a room mate as well. I guess it really depends upon your personality though. I personally would prefer to live alone even if it meant paying the extra money. If you can find someone you are compatible with, having a room mate would be a great way to save money though.

I think moving out would be a good idea too. If you current situation is really making you unhappy, finding a healthier environment ought to be your first priority.

[Medusa locked]

If you are that uncomfortable, then yes, strive to move out. But in the meantime, I don't how this advice is going to sound but, why not look at improving your relationship with your family. Start by reflecting on how you interact with them.

I have this brother that I detested so much, I wished him dead. He knew how to push my buttons. One day, I got fed up of always getting stirred up so easily and I knew I couldn't change him. So I looked at how I reacted, how I received his teasing, how I interpreted things. I came to realize that I could change my experience and my relationship with him by looking at my own thoughts and actions, and choosing otherwise.

Hope this helps.
Good luck

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Medusa locked

If you are that uncomfortable, then yes, strive to move out. But in the meantime, I don't how this advice is going to sound but, why not look at improving your relationship with your family. Start by reflecting on how you interact with them.

I have this brother that I detested so much, I wished him dead. He knew how to push my buttons. One day, I got fed up of always getting stirred up so easily and I knew I couldn't change him. So I looked at how I reacted, how I received his teasing, how I interpreted things. I came to realize that I could change my experience and my relationship with him by looking at my own thoughts and actions, and choosing otherwise.

Hope this helps.
Good luck

I don't think I can ever forgive my mom for not accepting me fully. I feel she conceived me to be the person she wants me to be rather than the persom I actually am. And if she's not a homophobe, I don't know what homophobia is. She said she doesn't want gays in her family. Who is she to decide what's best for the family? And why did she give birth knowing full well that I could turn out to be gay and therefore rejected by her?

I think she's an idiot. I don't love her. And I have often found myself thinking that I can't wait until my grandmother dies. She's a needy, dependent, lazy loser. She has no interest in taking care of herself, she just wants to rely on everyone else to do her bidding. It's a cultural problem. Elderly Africans have no problem with bringing people into this world to help them and they are quite lazy. I find it abhorrent that anyone would have children for the express purpose of having someone take care of them in old age. I think you should hire help, help that's willing to do the work because they're being fairly compensated for it. Anything otherwise is slavery.

I wish I didn't live here so that I wouldn't have to interact with them, thereby giving them the impression that I still love them when I don't. They are strangers to me, strange loserish individuals. I don't think you should have rely on people you don't like, or have them help you if you know you don't care about them, or have them rely on you.

My goal is to be like Samantha from Sex and the City or Charlie from Two and Half Men. My only consolation is that I'm still young and these characters are much older. I'm anxious to hit the road and get started.

I'm currently looking for a full time position as an Admin or Exec Admin. I plan to quit my stripping job as soon as I'm hired. Apparently, I can go to therapy in the evening.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I don't think I can ever forgive my mom for not accepting me fully. I feel she conceived me to be the person she wants me to be rather than the persom I actually am.

I know that feeling. Except my mother conceived me by accident in the back seat of a car, and I actually have forgiven her, because it's too much effort to keep holding that angry energy toward her (I still don't have a relationship with her, haven't for years).

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm currently looking for a full time position as an Admin or Exec Admin. I plan to quit my stripping job as soon as I'm hired. Apparently, I can go to therapy in the evening.

I thought you made pretty good money a stripper, and enjoyed the work? Increasing your hours at the strip club might be a good way to accumulate the money you need to move out.

I definitely recommend getting away from your mother and grandmother if you're unhappy there. (I moved halfway around the world to get away from my parents )

[Agota]

I think that if you are in situation where living with your family drains you, you have to make moving out your first priority. As someone said, you gotta stay sane!

Christmas is coming and hospitality industry is very busy during this time. Is there any possibility for you to register with a catering agency and works as a waitress in events until Christmas so you would have money for the rent in advance and deposit and then move out?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman

I thought you made pretty good money a stripper, and enjoyed the work? Increasing your hours at the strip club might be a good way to accumulate the money you need to move out.

I definitely recommend getting away from your mother and grandmother if you're unhappy there. (I moved halfway around the world to get away from my parents )

I wish I could move away from my family. I don't like them, they get on my nerves. They're very funny people.

I'm not making enough money as a stripper and I don't think I can increase my hours because there are 20 girls at that club. Also, if I increased my hours, that would be a heavy commute and tired feet.

I fear I'm gonna end up having to get a job I hate, as an admin. I wish I could even get a job as an admin, but I don't have much experience and I'm not getting many bites.

I'm thinking of giving up and just living at home for life and never working besides dancing. I'm tired. Maybe I just wasn't meant to work. What do you guys think of this?

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm thinking of giving up and just living at home for life and never working besides dancing. I'm tired. Maybe I just wasn't meant to work. What do you guys think of this?

That's not what you want and you know it.

[JSB]

Any other strip clubs nearby that you could pick up a shift at? What about stripping for parties?

You could work a part time admin job and combine it with stripping to make the money you need and not get overwhelmed by 40 hours at the office.

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I wish I could move away from my family. I don't like them, they get on my nerves. They're very funny people.

I'm not making enough money as a stripper and I don't think I can increase my hours because there are 20 girls at that club. Also, if I increased my hours, that would be a heavy commute and tired feet.

I fear I'm gonna end up having to get a job I hate, as an admin. I wish I could even get a job as an admin, but I don't have much experience and I'm not getting many bites.

I'm thinking of giving up and just living at home for life and never working besides dancing. I'm tired. Maybe I just wasn't meant to work. What do you guys think of this?

[ZephyrusX]

Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to work either. I think I was meant to be an aristocrat. Inherited money. A learned 'gentle(wo)man'. Just don't make me work. *grumbles nasty things about the post office*

I don't think this would make you very happy. I can relate to the feeling though.

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm thinking of giving up and just living at home for life and never working besides dancing. I'm tired. Maybe I just wasn't meant to work. What do you guys think of this?

[abcbac]

You only live once. Make the best out of it. Get out of that negative environment. Also , don't quit working. Pain is temporary. Things get a lot of better

[Swede]

Find work in a positive environment, somewhere where there might be a future. You obviously know how to write so copywriting/marketing perhaps?

[Curious cat]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm thinking of giving up and just living at home for life and never working besides dancing. I'm tired. Maybe I just wasn't meant to work. What do you guys think of this?

i'm not so sure you can rely on stripping indefinitely for money. I imagine there'd be an age where they won't hire you anymore. Or is that just ignorance on my part? Which is possible, seeing as i've never stepped into a strip joint before in my life.

Moving out is tough, and responsibility is a b#%^*. But which is worse? Staying home and having to live with your family, or move out and be financially stressed (and possibly near broke for a long while).

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Curious cat

i'm not so sure you can rely on stripping indefinitely for money. I imagine there'd be an age where they won't hire you anymore. Or is that just ignorance on my part? Which is possible, seeing as i've never stepped into a strip joint before in my life.

When your boobs drop and you start putting on weight, that's when they will sack you. If you can pull it off into your mid thirties, you'd be doing well. I've considered it recently myself...my job sitch has reached that point and I need a place of my own as well.

Moving out is tough, and responsibility is a b#%^*. But which is worse? Staying home and having to live with your family, or move out and be financially stressed (and possibly near broke for a long while).

You know the answer to that. Living with strangers you don't like is not gonna help you, it will mess you up.

financial stress can be managed, with breathing techniques and being broke...meh, you get used to it. It's better than living with parents.