Dropping out of college

[HoldenC]

I was always a really great student in high school, graduating at almost the top of my class, and initially I did fairly well in college. After my first semester though, I began losing interest and motivation in school. Since then, my grades have steadily dropped each semester. I also began isolating myself more and more. Now, two years into college, I'm failing my classes and have essentially no friends. I'm almost certainly suffering some form of depression, though I've not been diagnosed. I have no real interest in completing my degree, but I don't really have any idea what else I want to do either. I have no goals, passions, or ambitions.
I'm living away from my parents with a few housemates, and I'm fully supporting myself. Currently I'm working a part-time job at minimum wage. I have a significant amount of loans from school though.
So at this point, I'm left with little other choice than to drop out. I'll probably get kicked out or lose my scholarship after this semester regardless. But after that, I really have no idea what I want to do. I don't know how to make myself have any ambition again. I'll need to pay off my loans, so I'll need another job or to figure out some other means of income. I don't really have a problem with working menial jobs. I don't need a lot of money. But I'm not happy and I'm not being fulfilled. I'm just existing, and I'm sinking further and further into a pit of apathy.
So I guess I just want some advice on where to go from here. Thanks

[Dynamist]

Do you want to do the thing that your major will allow you to do? Do you want to work in your field?

Sophomore year, I got the okay to drop out of college because I felt SO out of it and didn't want to do anything. I just lost my willpower for all things tangible and my path felt really cloudy. Deep depression, very confused, lost, lots of uncertainty, feeling like I didn't have a choice...so I made a conscious choice to stick to my major.

Because of the position I was in at the time, I had to really apply myself to get to where I wanted to be and I had to shut out all of the negative thoughts and I completed my semester with a GPA much higher than I had since the beginning of my college career.

What I'm saying is, dig deep within yourself and I mean really deep and push past the gravity. If this is what you really want to do, fight. For me, it felt like I was trying to push back a steel wall up a mountain. But use all of your resources so that you can cope with collective reality so that you don't just have to exist, but live.

[HoldenC]

I don't really want to work in my current field, but there doesn't really seem to be any other fields that really appeal to me either. If I knew what I wanted to do, then maybe I could motivate myself better, but at the moment I honestly have no idea.

[Chris Kahler]

I myself graduated as valedictorian of my high school class, went to private business school, then dropped out. I then went once again to a local community college, tried going for two different majors, lost interest in both, then dropped out for good.

But, at the same time I dropped out I also picked up something I'm passionate about.

There's one thing you must realize... college is only career training. As far as going to school, it's only to fulfill an occupation. As far as occupations go, when you boil down the process of making money you're simply exchanging value or labor for money.

As an employee you trade time and labor for wages. As a service provider it is the same, though the wages are more in your control. As the owner of a product you are exchanging the value your product supplies for profits.

To regain ambition you must merely find a passion. College is completely unnecessary. My OPINION on the current public university system is that it does more harm in general than it does to help people for a few reasons...

it is creating a fatal perception in people that college is necessary or else you won't succeed when in fact I would trade a college education for passion plus understanding to monetize that passion for market any day.

It also piles on debt so that you must spend much of your time trying to work off that debt... you are almost enslaved by your education. A passion is self learned, interesting, more affordable, and can benefit you much more immensely throughout your life than a forced college degree will ever do.

The main thing for you to do right now is to simply accept what is. There is a great saying I like to say.. it's a prayer, but you can consider it an affirmation, or just a quote depending on your belief about praying...

It goes like this:

"Please grant me the Serenity to accept what I can't change, give me the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

If you don't see college in your future then accept that. If you do see it in your future then accept that. Then muster up the courage to make a stand for either side you choose. Hanging in the middle will end up in more depression... making a final choice and sticking with it full guns blasting will give you vigor.

There are no right or wrong decisions in life. Only how you react to your choices. You can make either direction work for you, but you must be decisive, not allowing the problem to linger. Nip it at the root and then put all your effort in the chosen direction.

If you have any more questions I will gladly help you because there is plenty more to be said about this subject since I too have been through this same occurrence and am now happier than I've ever been.

BTW, I chose to leave college, found a passion AFTERWARD, pursued it full blast, and now command more prosperity than ANY of my friends who've graduated from college.

[Dynamist]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

I don't really want to work in my current field, but there doesn't really seem to be any other fields that really appeal to me either. If I knew what I wanted to do, then maybe I could motivate myself better, but at the moment I honestly have no idea.

Do you know what triggered the change in you after your first semester? If it's that you lost interest in your present major and became disillusioned as a result, did you talk to a guidance counselor about other potential options and tested out some classes in those before you made the decision that nothing interests you?

[Clint Cora]

I kind of felt like you did during my first year at college too but other real good opportunities were not really around either. So I stuck at it until I graduated. One thing I found after all these years is that college is not necessarily a place to prep for a related job.

It can be a place to develop your thinking, and to learn useful interpersonal skills with others which will help you in pretty well anything you want to do.

My own feeling on this is if you don't really know what you want to do, you might as well stick around and finish with a degree. If you have another opportunity to do something else that you are really passionate about, then of course you can do that instead. But if nothing else is around, you might as well get a degree which never hurts you.

Another thing I can say is I've seen many people in their 30s and even 40s trying to go back and finish a degree as mature students. It is never easy at their age since they have been off the study mode for years and have other responsibilities in life at the same time.

You never want to regret not finishing a degree. It's tough (but not impossible) to finish it later.

Your choice of course but do whatever you feel is right so that you will have no regrets.

[Dynamist]

Delete

[Fred Tracy]

Hmm, well I dropped out in my senior year due to increasing disinterest and my mother falling ill. And honestly, I've never looked back.

If you can find something that gets you excited that doesn't have to do with school, then pursue it wholeheartedly. If not, stay in school.

[michellesears]

You must make major changes in the way your living your day to day life right now. It sounds like you're stuck in a rut and don't know what you want, where you want to go or how to change your situation.

I would advise you get some new habits or routines in your day fast. If you drag yourself out of bed for instance then tomorrow morning jump out of bed. If you walk around with you head down and your shoulders slumped forward then start walking with your head up and your shoulders back.

You must break your habitual habits of being depressed. No one thing will make you happy only you can change the state that your currently in by doing totally random and off the wall stuff.

The next time you have a depressing thought say cancel, cancel. Jump up and do 10 jumping jacks and clap your hands together 10 times.

Now how you feel? Wacky? Goofy? Silly? It's better than depressed.

Once you're in that state then decide what you want to do with your life or at least your day.

[CroMagna]

Do not under any circumstances drop out of college. College is an amazing opportunity to get a good education and build your resume. I would even recommend grad school or getting a PhD.

Make sure your degree is in something marketable. Humanities degrees are generally worthless. A BS degree, like in Computer Science, is most useful. If all the BS degrees sound dreadful, then I would go for Psychology and then get a PhD towards licensure.

[HoldenC]

@Chris
I agree with you regarding college, and I do think it's doing more harm than good. A degree is nice and all, but it's not necessary, and I don't think it's worth the debt if it's something I'm not passionate about. It's going to take me about 2 years to pay off the loans I already have if I don't find better income. I don't really think college is for me, or that getting a degree is really going to improve my life. I just hate how it's expected of me regardless of if I actually want it. I know it's my choice to make, but the social pressure is annoying as hell.
I know I need to figure out something I can be passionate about, I just don't even know where to start. I know being depressed is preventing it to a large extent, but I just don't know. I also need to figure out ways to stop isolating myself so much, because I know that's exacerbating the depression a great deal.
I don't believe in prayer, though I appreciate the spirit of the quote nonetheless. I'm glad to hear you've found happiness.

@Dynamist
Hard to say exactly, but I know I had started becoming more depressed and isolated around that time. Had more time to think about life, whether I was moving in the right direction, etc. I've looked through the majors available, and none of them really stuck out to me, but regardless, there's only about 3 degrees that I could complete before my scholarship runs out(assuming I don't lose it for poor performance), and none of those interest me.

@Clint
College certainly can benefit people in that way, though it really isn't doing that for me. I have essentially no friends, and my social skills are terrible. I do a lot of thinking on my own, but I find that classes just detract from that and make me stressed.
Having a degree doesn't hurt, but having the thousands in debt that come along with it does. I may go back eventually, but at the moment, I feel that I'm just wasting my time and money.

[Dynamist]

HoldenC (Does the C stand for Caulfield? ), you gotta look deep and answer these questions for yourself. None of us can really answer it for you. But if you really think that college isn't what you want to do then leave it. But YOU have to make that decision. If you're not into any of those majors that's fine. But we can't pick a major for you or even tell you what to do in a situation like this. You sound hopeless already and we can only give options. But I think you already know inside of you what you really want to do. You just have to make that decision to go do it.

[HoldenC]

@Dynamist
Yes it does It's my favorite book
You're right, of course. I pretty much know I'm dropping out, I just don't really know what I'm doing afterwards, which I guess was really more the point of the post. My only plan right now is to try to get these loans paid off, after that I have no idea

[Dynamist]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

@Dynamist
Yes it does It's my favorite book
You're right, of course. I pretty much know I'm dropping out, I just don't really know what I'm doing afterwards, which I guess was really more the point of the post. My only plan right now is to try to get these loans paid off, after that I have no idea

How did I know? I use to LOVE Holden. I saw myself in him when I was in high school. Very much identified with Mr. Caulfield...in my own way. lol

You're welcome here. You know that. I write vents all over the place and so far (thank God) no one's complained. But what you do after those loans get paid off we dunno. At least, I dunno. Maybe you'd be like some of the folks on here and start a blog writing about your experiences. I bet you have many to share and you could advertise and set up a section for people who are willing to donate to assist you in continuing your writing. But, my love, your future's a blank canvas to me.

[SireneB]

A lot of students have trouble with the first year of college. Is there a student counseling center on your campus? if so, I'd strongly recommend visiting them, in order to be able to talk through your particular situation and gain insight and suggestions from a professional who gone through this with many clients in the past. No matter what you end up deciding, it will be worth it to go to go through that process.

good luck!

[HoldenC]

@SireneB
I've been meeting with a counselor once a week.

[CroMagna]

Some people would give their left arms to get to be in college, any college. Don't take advantage of this incredible opportunity to secure a good career. Two years is nothing to pay back loans. Some people have loans and mortgages that will take them 30 years to pay back.

If you don't have a passion, you can go for a job that pays well and will enable you to pursue your interests in your spare time. I suggest you get a therapist or a career counselor to help you figure it out. But time is drifting, so just pick a good major, like Comp Sci. You can always change careers later.

If you drop out of college, you will be working at McDonald's in all likelihood. Do you think that's something you'd feel passionate about and motivated to do?

[Laurenaus]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Some people would give their left arms to get to be in college, any college. Don't take advantage of this incredible opportunity to secure a good career. Two years is nothing to pay back loans. Some people have loans and mortgages that will take them 30 years to pay back.

If you don't have a passion, you can go for a job that pays well and will enable you to pursue your interests in your spare time. I suggest you get a therapist or a career counselor to help you figure it out. But time is drifting, so just pick a good major, like Comp Sci. You can always change careers later.

If you drop out of college, you will be working at McDonald's in all likelihood. Do you think that's something you'd feel passionate about and motivated to do?

college does not secure a good career especially in recent times. My friend who graduated from UC Berkeley with a degree in communications threw his framed degree against the wall and watched it shatter into a million pieces as he wished he could go back in time and just gained work experience instead of going to college. College is good if you pursue a marketable degree.

[HoldenC]

There are non-fastfood positions available in my city. I already have one, in fact. Still minimum wage, but nonetheless. As far as I'm concerned, one job I'm not passionate about is as good as the next. Money isn't a huge concern to me. I'm somewhat of a minimalist. I don't need a whole lot.
So, sure I could stress myself out the next two or so years finishing a degree I don't care about, and get a job I don't care about just so I can have more money after I eventually pay off my loans. Or I could just not waste my time with all that, get to work now paying off my loans and building up some savings and devoting the rest of my time to figuring out what I actually want to do.
Honestly, the second option seems a lot more sensible to me. Believe it or not, I really don't mind supporting myself with menial jobs.
What I want is to find something to do with my life that will actually make me happy, not just something that I only do for the sake of earning money.

[Clint Cora]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

@Clint
College certainly can benefit people in that way, though it really isn't doing that for me. I have essentially no friends, and my social skills are terrible. I do a lot of thinking on my own, but I find that classes just detract from that and make me stressed.
Having a degree doesn't hurt, but having the thousands in debt that come along with it does. I may go back eventually, but at the moment, I feel that I'm just wasting my time and money.

Exactly! The social development on campus is not working for you because you chose not to develop those skills. The college experience is NOT just about attending classes and writing exams. This was one of my intial mistakes and also why I actually hated being on campus during my time.

Then I realized that college is much more than just classes and exams. As you probably already know, there are many groups, organizations and clubs on campus with many different events and extra-curricular activities. These are where you develop your social interaction skills with others and get the most rewarding experiences that will last a lifetime.

If you return with an effort to get involved, the skills you develop as a result will serve you well no matter what future career you get into. Even without regard to college, the lack of social skills will hurt you both on a professional and personal level so in my opinion, the development of such skills should be made a top priority in your life if you want to be successful.

[MagicalRealist]

Many colleges allow students who are struggling to take an academic leave of absence. It's usually for no more than one academic year, but if that's an option that's available to you, consider taking it. That way, if you do decide to go back you won't have to re-apply; you can just pick up where you left off. Also, it gives you something to tell the people who pester you about college--as long as they believe you'll go back within a certain time frame, they're less likely to give you grief.

But if college is making you that miserable and you're just spinning your wheels while accumulating debt, then yes, leaving is a good idea. You've already got a job, so maybe you can find full-time work while you consider what it is you'd really like to be doing. And yes, other people will have their negative opinions, and they will express them, but they aren't the ones who have to live your life--you are. Don't live somebody else's life. Live yours.

I dropped out of college my first time around, and didn't go back until I was in my 30s. By then, I knew what I wanted to do, felt a genuine sense of purpose, and really enjoyed academic life. In the years between, I worked at a lot of different jobs (some of them pretty menial, others less so), then started my own business. Dropping out of college isn't the end of the world, or a one-way ticket to Failureville. It doesn't mean you will never go to college again. For a lot of people, it really is the better option, at least at that particular stage of their lives.

I think you know exactly what you need to do, but other people's opinions of what you should be doing, and not wanting to face their disapproval, are keeping you stuck. I think you're crushingly depressed because you aren't where you need to be right now, and deep down you know it.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Some people would give their left arms to get to be in college, any college.

There are also starving kids in Africa, but that doesn't mean HoldenC (or anyone else) is obligated to keep eating well past satiety just to clear their plate. It won't save the starving kids, and will only create pointless suffering for Holden (or anyone else thus guilt-tripped). That other people can't go to college is utterly irrelevant to whether Holden should stay in college or not.

Don't take advantage of this incredible opportunity to secure a good career.

Depending on the field Holden is studying, things like earning a high GPA, internships, lab/research experience, recommendations from professors, and other markers of a truly successful undergrad may be needed to secure a good career. (These are also the things he would need to get into a desirable grad program, should he eventually choose to go that route).

These things are awfully hard to get when one is depressed, burned out, and has no interest in their studies. Sure, he'll graduate with a BA or BS--and so will lots of other people. But will he stand out from the herd and be considered for better jobs? Or slide into low-paying mediocrity? Or even get a job at all? It used to be that a college degree, in itself, was enough. Not any more.

[CroMagna]

I agree that he needs to take a year off, medical leave, to get therapy and work to pay off some of those loans. Then he needs to come back fully prepared to work hard in a good major and secure those teacher recs for grad school. He will be very depressed if he's a wage slave for life.

[HoldenC]

@Clint
Social skills are definitely something I need to focus more on, and I do intend to. However, there are far cheaper and less stressful ways to do so than attending college. College and school in general have obviously not been an effective means of this for me anyway.

@MR
I haven't been able to find anything in regards to academic leave at my university, but there's a good chance I'll end up losing my scholarship money after this semester, in which case it doesn't really matter. I don't really see myself going back though, at least not any time soon. School has done nothing but make me miserable for the past two years. I've essentially only stayed due to social pressure; although there were also practical matters of needing a job and a place to stay. I'm fully in position to support myself now though, so I can actually start figuring out what I want to do with my life.

[KathiMora]

Dropping out of college is not the way out. College degree is a valuable asset that will help you grow financially in the future. Short term disinterest should not let you drop out. If the course does not motivate you then you should think of how the future would be with a degree. This will surely motivate you to pursue your education. Think of better things you could enjoy after you complete your education and have secured a job.

However, if the disinterest is because you hate the program you have enrolled in, then maybe you could look for some short terms course that interest you. You should be able to get an entry level job. But to grow further you need a college degree. So, why take this path and instead complete your current education?

Remember, time is precious. There's a lot you have to do and the time i so less! This time will never come back. So, I would suggest you to complete your college education. Simultaneously, start creating a roadmap for yourself and plan where you want to be in the next 10 years. If possible, have a chart and post it in your room. I'm sure this will keep you motivated. Try this for a month and then decide if this helps.

All the best.

[Clint Cora]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

@Clint
Social skills are definitely something I need to focus more on, and I do intend to. However, there are far cheaper and less stressful ways to do so than attending college. College and school in general have obviously not been an effective means of this for me anyway.

Probably other cheaper ways but the question is, are you going to use them? The thing about college is that if you are a full time student, you get to develop and use such skills all week on campus. If you can find other ways where you will get the same type of frequency, then go for it. You obviously did not take complete advantage of all a college campus has to offer and therefore didn't get your money's worth but that was a result of your choices.

[tod]

Dropping out is a great choice. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers all dropped out. They did alright.

I never graduated from high school. I preferred to educate myself and be self-employed. And for the last ten years I've done exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

My novel Solo Flight (which is free) has a lot to say about self-education.