potential..but no discipline : need people i can be accountable to !

[skanda]

Hey guys
.. im new here...a 27 year old female.. who believes that she has great potential.. if only .. enough self-discipline to direct them.. iv promised myself that by the end of this year.. ( hehe i blame my indecisiveness to my sagitarrian sign :P ) ..i will achieve all my goals..

if i take account of my life at the moment..

POSITIVES

- intelligent and hard working ...whenver it comes around to crunch time :P
- great relationship
- fantastic supportive family
- attractive

NEGATIVES

- can be easily distracted
- wondering if failed major examination ..of which results i will find out in next 2 weeks ( due to cramming )
- feel isolated due to losing touch with friends
- dont have my drivers license !!

------
my goals for this week ..week ONE

1. going to study after work.. for minimum 6 hours ( will keep written tally )
2. no distractions eg. tv, books etcc
3. will go out socialise on monday night and give 2 old friends a long phone call
4. will exercise (for stamina..not weight loss ) every other day
5. will play the piano every other day

---

i know i am probably not going to be able to keep up to this everyday..but i hope if i post whatever i am doing wrong..or if i go wrong.. then i wil have some support and encouragement to keep on going

thanks
Skannie

[Brutha]

i know i am probably not going to be able to keep up to this everyday.

Then start with a smaller amount of goals, that you feel you can keep up everyday.
Focus Focus Focus.

[skanda]

thats a good idea.. looking back on today .. i didnt end up doing much that i wanted.. i think the study goal i set was so big..that i got bored..and ended up watching tv !!

anyway decided to stay up til 1am and finish up my report.. and do a quick clean up of the study and bedroom before i go to bed.

thanks brutha for the tip

[Crowghost]

Originally Posted by skanda

thats a good idea.. looking back on today .. i didnt end up doing much that i wanted.. i think the study goal i set was so big..that i got bored..and ended up watching tv !!

anyway decided to stay up til 1am and finish up my report.. and do a quick clean up of the study and bedroom before i go to bed.

thanks brutha for the tip

Many times in the past, I have tried to start a new path with a long list. Even a short list. That doesn't always work for me. Even if I did all the things on the list I would find I was doing them to fulfill the list tasks, rather than for the reason I wanted.
I am in a state of change (total change like major moves) once a year for the past 20 plus years . It can be cumbersome and awkward re-setting up and accessing the energies needed to start-up in the new location.
I am certain many people here will give you suggestions far more adapted to getting done what you want than I.

One of the things I have to do periodically is turn off the distractors.....like my PC.... Or the TV......
Also, I need a half hour in the morning to sit and let my directive sift up in me...like meditation. I get a clearer picture of what my tasks are if I do this, Sometimes I write that down, and usually get them done.
I need structure around me instead of imposed on me...so I organize my environment often...to the point now that all I need is at my fingertips.
I nourish my body too at the start of the day...well, actually a half hour or hour after I meditate.
When I start to tire, I get up and stretch, and take 5 minutes to calm down, then get back to the task.
I do very little things like these all throughout the day, and I get massive amounts of things done now.
I hope you will find your formula or structure.
Good luck

[angie]

Hi Skannie,

I agree with Brutha. Start with smaller, more easily attainable goals & work up to larger ones. Maybe start with 3 hours study and give yourself a reward when you achieve this & then work up to 4 hours & maybe 5 hours. Always think about what you will achieve by doing the task, i.e. when I pass my exam I will be able to ......

Also think about what might happen if you dont do the task, i.e. I'll have to do another year at school, or if the housework doesnt get done the house will be a mess & someone will be moaning at me (that sounds familiar!) or having to spend days & days cramming your study before the exam. Dont dwell on the negative too much though, always think on the positive side more.

Having an accountability partner is brilliant. I have a several. They have to be reliable, in that they will remember (or have written it down somewhere they will see it) & to check up to see how your doing. They have to do it in a way that comes across as trying to help, not nagging. As you say, you can post your goals on here and keep us updated as to how you're getting on & we can all be your accountability partners.

Maybe I'll do the same with my goals!

[skanda]

today was a pretty good day so far..
got lots done at work..followed the basic principle

1. focused on one task.. immersed myself in it ..and allowed myself 5 mins at the end of it ..to feel pretty satisfied and good about finishing it .. !

2. ended up going to piano lessons.. driving there.. and studying over with a friend..as well as cleaning up my wardrobe.. got about an hr before bed.. so iv decided to finish up the report i was meant to do last night..



one of the good things about this.. is .. more done during the day = less stressed by the end of the night = more relaxed convos with my boyfriend = more happiness ..

he feels that i put my "goals" ahead of him..does anyone else have this problem with their partners ??

my main goals for tommorow are
1. spend 2 hours tommorow on just work backlog ..
2. summarising one study topic and reading thru one topic
3. jogging/fast walking for minimum 20 mins

.. if i do it .. it will be a HUGE change.. usually..after one 'good' day..i slack off ..

eyy angie.. be glad to be your accountability partner !! hehe.. maybe this can be the accountable group

gotta keep on trying ..
skannie

[Kayceezharold]

Congratulations, Skannie, on having had a great day! I can practically see you broad ear to ear smile just by reading your post! And I celebrate you for your success in achieving so much!

Be very cautious when you are deciding to get accountability partners, cos you must be prepared that your accountability partners check on you, and breathe down your neck, even when you just feel like taking a break!

If you are prepared for that, and if you know the price of having an accountable partner, and I'm sure you are serious to want to achieve your goals, you must set aside time to "report" - your tasks completed and let your partner check on your progress anytime!

Sounds painful and like invasion of privacy, but that's what comes with having to account to people, and of course you enjoy the benefits of seeing more successes too!

Nevertheless, I applaud that you have even decided to be accountable to yourself first of all, by commiting here in this forum the things you wanna achieve.

The advice to take bite-size tasks is very good, cos bite-size tasks get completed faster and you get to see results earlier.

Further to setting daily goals for yourself, consider also to pen the small rewards/treats you'll give yourself for achieving each day's goals... each week goals and perhaps bigger treats for completing each month goals! For the daily treats, doesn't have to be big, little ones that you enjoy are good enough. You can plan bigger treats for the weekly or monthly achievements. This helps to motivate as well, knowing that at the end of your hard work, there is something to look forward to!

Try it and see, and share with us your achievements and progress!
We'll be checking on you and your progress!

I wish you blue skies, and endurance and perseverance as you work towards the little, and especially big achievements! I can already visualise your beaming smile after you've completed your one-month milestone from the start of your challenge!

--------------
Kayceezharold
The World Thru Kayceez Eyes
My Success Plan for Personal Development

[skanda]

aww thanks Kayceezharold..
that was sucha positive response !!!

during exam times.. to keep me going.. i would read positive statements like this from the daily motivator.com.. its free and this is not a plug..im just sharing ! because i felt it helped me a lot .. but i never realised forums like this existed..and it is even better because the encouragement and the positive responses are so much more personalised and individualised..

herez a bit of an update..on how this week is looking so far..

had a good day yesterday as i earlier mentioned.. planning to get some study done today from now til 11.45pm.. with a 20 min jogging break in between.. work today was not so productive..i think everyone around me at work is a bit slack...and often i feel my enthusiasm is slightly unwelcome.. sigh* i have a contract there for the rest of the year..so ill just have to try and pick up as many skillls as i can..

hopefully tommorow.. i will be able to work on some work + piano practice that i need to present on thurs afternoon/ ..and again thurs nite + jogging will be spent for a work presentation due on friday ( loll..see my weekends before spent catching up on backlogs..arrgh i see the stress coming on ...but hopefully i will be able to do a good job of these two..if i focus for about 5-6 hours each night)

friday night.. i work till late ..9-10pm .. so after that i often try to get to bed early..because it is the one night i can get 8 hours of sleep ..and heheh..CANT wait for it !!!! sleeeeppp zzzz.. its my favourite thing.. usually up by about 6am on both weekends..(doesnt matter if i sleep at 3am or not !! ) planning to go out for dinner on sat nite with friends ( yes..im making an effort as per the goal of renewing friendships..) and my goals for the weekend..

1. cut down some of the work backlog
2. study with friend
3. cooking one fun meal
4. driving
5. exercise and piano practice on both days
6. movie/lunch with my sister ..

hehe..AIGHT guys !!! this is a ambitious week ... but eyy.. im really really inspired and positive by all the support i am getting here !! ..anyway im going to start writing tommorow on the topic of "goal setting".. but more than that.. how do you find out which are the goals that will really make a difference in your life ?? will welcome gladly any guidance of senior and junior members !!

[Freelancer]

Fantastic that your changing your life !!

Keep it up and watch the results come in.

I don't have a lot of suggestions right now (need to get back to 'work' myself ) but I suggest reading these series of articles on holistic learning;
Scott H Young » How to Ace Your Finals Without Studying

It might help you well 'ace you'r finals without studying', be sure to read everything since there are a few more links at the bottom towards a ebook and another article explaining even more.

[aabukar]

Greaat job Skanda keep up and stay committed i am so happy for you and i am looking up to be commited as you are

[skanda]

mm...
so yesterday .. i was full of optimism and productivity..and then .. by 9.30 pm .. i was reading short summaries of all stephen king's books ( and when i say ALL ..i mean ALL ) on wikipedia..

i did some work.. im not saying i didnt do anything..but what i should have done ..was to concentrate and focus on the work.. do 2 hrs and finish what i had to do ..and then taken the rest of night off to do something fun.. i would have achieved the same amount that i did by dawdling over it in 6 hours !!

having said that.. i went to bed earlyish last nite.. got 7 hours of sleep ..was productive and fresh and work today and some of that energy is stil in me now..

so .. just as a question..esp to the senior members..

What were some of your most poignant failures on this personal development journey ? and what did you learn from them ?

[skanda]

rrrgh ..
everythin was going well .. until around 9pm..when i started watching some TV.. that was fine as a half an hour break..until i decided to 'research' the episodes online and then felt so crap about it ..that i called my boyfriend to make myself feel better..and before i know i have wasted over 2 hours..doing nothing productive or happy

im so sick of this.. why do i always have the best intentions.. i have all the resources i need at my fingertips..and my own lazy..ill disciplined self .. just has to ruin everything all the time..

i am so angry at myself at the moment.. that is it .. i set a personal challenge to myself and all of you guys out there on this forum..that i am going to aim for just 7 days ...7 good productive fun happy days in a row.

Thats all

Just 7 days

[Sunnybayes]

Originally Posted by skanda

rrrgh ..
everythin was going well .. until around 9pm..when i started watching some TV.. that was fine as a half an hour break..until i decided to 'research' the episodes online and then felt so crap about it ..that i called my boyfriend to make myself feel better..and before i know i have wasted over 2 hours..doing nothing productive or happy

im so sick of this.. why do i always have the best intentions.. i have all the resources i need at my fingertips..and my own lazy..ill disciplined self .. just has to ruin everything all the time..

i am so angry at myself at the moment.. that is it .. i set a personal challenge to myself and all of you guys out there on this forum..that i am going to aim for just 7 days ...7 good productive fun happy days in a row.

Thats all

Just 7 days

well you have to have some fun sometime, or you will burn yourself out. Don't be so mad at yourself. Some days are going to be good, some are going to be bad. I mean your brain needs time to just sit back and relax. What's the point of having a productive life if you are not able to have fun while doing it? Sounds like you are managing that just fine though.

What's important is that you have your long term goals / life purpose defined really well so that you know when you are taking a break that you know that you are really just resting up so that you have enough juices in your brain so that you'll be able to give it your full when you are "on". And that you don't have to feel guilty about wasting time because you know that you are still being "productive" towards your life goal because you are just resting, because you can't be "on" all the time.

Put it this way..., imagine that you are 100 years old laying on your death bed and looking back at your life, what will you remember that you have accomplished? What will you be proud of for having done? Where might you have traveled? What kind of guy will you have married? What kinds of memories would you have had with him? What would have your children grown up to be? How many piano albums would you have released? How many parties will you have hosted? What will your "potential" have accomplished?

This one is tough. Spend like an hour a day doing this. It might take like 10 hours to do... but you'll feel better once you have.

[Sunnybayes]

Originally Posted by skanda

What were some of your most poignant failures on this personal development journey ? and what did you learn from them ?

There's no such thing as failure. There's only learning opportunities and feedback.

And personal development is a never ending process... for me its always have been very incremental... sometimes there are quantum leaps... but just remember that this personal development stuff is pointless if you have nothing to apply it too (i.e. define your purpose...)

you can't really fail at it... how would you fail? you might have failed an exam or not done as good as you'd hope on a race... or not get the guy that you want... but you'd probably would have done worse if it weren't for the personal development that you'd done...

[skanda]

hey guys !!
day 1 is going good .. yes.. it wasnt a super fantastic day..i got told off by my supervisor for being "independent" & a lot of time was spent at work chasing up things..

but i am still trudging thru my work and i managed to squeeze some piano practice..which i enjoyed..going to spend another 1 hr 45 mins studying before dropping to bed...

but yeh.. something made me realise..hard work is unglamourous..and we never think about the years of effort people put to attain a few mins of glory and glamour .. never think about the movie star who worked after auditions as a waitress.. who has to wake up at 4.30am everyday before a shoot in order to do a 2km sprint to keep in shape...we only see the gorgeous clothes and glitter on the red carpet on oscar night ..


hard work and effort is definitely not glamourous.. *sigh

[Erki]

Maybe not glamorous but IMO one should enjoy the work part too and be passionate about it. Without drive and passion, plain willpower doesn't really work all that well. Maybe on the bad days, but not in the long run.

[skanda]

hey guys ..

going well so far ( fingers crossed ) .. realised i have 6 hours today to fit in a lot of study..piano practice and try some exercise..before i go out to dinner with friends and wearing some nice new clothes

hehe.. just to introduce a topic.. and see what people think.. do you think learning to be content is the real route to happiness ? PD is the opposite to contentment i feel..but many times..when i have burning energy and am running off here and there.. i have had so many older people tell me .. skannie..you got to learn the meaning of contentment..or else you'll spend all your life chasing things..

what do you guys think ? do you think if happiness is a real goal ..there should be more significant time dedicated to learning to be content..and if so ..what is the way ?

[skanda]

woke up this morning ..

and all of a sudden.. i was tired of distractions.. i was tired of chasing things on tv.. wasting time dressing up.. and people.. i just want some peace and quiet..some focus and simplicity.. think im definitely going to whip out the books today and get some serious progress done "in the zone" ..

just general thoughts on personal development and so on .. am i the only one who feels that life in general is becoming more and more complicated..everyone "wants" such stupid things... maybe it just my mood at the moment.. but society seems just SO DUMB at the moment.. chasing after the latest gossip stories.. notice the popularity of 'self-help' books but personal development still remains in the domain of those hard workers who are prepared to walk the slow walk day after day.. everyone wants a quick fix.. i work in the medical field ..and see evidence of this in everyday life as our patients are suffering more and more from self-inflicted harm.. ie. type 2 diabetes.. overweight.. lung cancer.. heroin injection induced infections..they all want a magic pill from the Dr .. one that will let them continue to eat what they want and smoke when they want..

* sigh.

will post a bit later tonight..let's see what i can achieve in this mood of mine..i have a set goal written on paper.

thanks for listening to my ramblings
skannie

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by skanda

woke up this morning ..

and all of a sudden.. i was tired of distractions.. i was tired of chasing things on tv.. wasting time dressing up.. and people.. i just want some peace and quiet..some focus and simplicity.. think im definitely going to whip out the books today and get some serious progress done "in the zone" ..

just general thoughts on personal development and so on .. am i the only one who feels that life in general is becoming more and more complicated..everyone "wants" such stupid things... maybe it just my mood at the moment.. but society seems just SO DUMB at the moment.. chasing after the latest gossip stories.. notice the popularity of 'self-help' books but personal development still remains in the domain of those hard workers who are prepared to walk the slow walk day after day.. everyone wants a quick fix.. i work in the medical field ..and see evidence of this in everyday life as our patients are suffering more and more from self-inflicted harm.. ie. type 2 diabetes.. overweight.. lung cancer.. heroin injection induced infections..they all want a magic pill from the Dr .. one that will let them continue to eat what they want and smoke when they want..

* sigh.

will post a bit later tonight..let's see what i can achieve in this mood of mine..i have a set goal written on paper.

thanks for listening to my ramblings
skannie

You might be interested in a book entitled The Progress Paradox by Gregg Easterbrook. It's pretty heavy material, but it touches upon the things you just mentioned.

My two cents? Modern America is a land of great opportunity and wealth. As a result, most people have their basic needs met and are left climbing up the upper part of Maslow's pyramid, struggling for meaning and purpose. People become trapped in the hollow pursuit of excess, which leads to many of the ills you described.

[skanda]

ey guys, feeling a bit low at the moment..

just moved to another campus where we ma