|10-05-2011, 04:48 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
How to stop complaining
For original post - How to stop♥complaining - Blog - The World through My Eye
Every human being on this planet complains, some of us more than others. Complaining is like smoking. It looks and smells horrible, but once you get a taste of it, you canít live without it. Itís like a virus thatís eating away at your pursuit of happiness.
Complaining is so negative, depressing and degrading then why do we do it to ourselves? Itís because it makes us feel better about our situation (It hurt so good!). Itís because other people can agree with our crappy situation. Itís because everyone does it so why shouldnít I?
It doesnít matter of your race, age, gender, culture or standard of living; we are all programmed to complain since the day we learned to understand words. We are so conditioned by our society that most of have no idea how much we whine about our daily life.
Instead of focusing on how much we have, we complain about how much we DO NOT HAVEÖ It sounds pathetic when you think about it, but we all do it.
Here are some examples you might relate to:
I hate what I do! I wake up every day dreading about going to workÖbut I am not actually going to do anything to improve my situation but keep on complaining about how much I hate my job.
Only thing my parents taught me or not are how to LIE, BLAME and have DYSFUNCTIONAL relationships.
My kids are nothing but ungrateful and spoiled brats! Iíve never acted like that when I was their age!
Some of my co-workers are back-stabbing jerks who are only out for themselves!
I could go on forever about this, but my point is that we are all victims. Your main audience of your complaining may be to YOURSELF. That is why nobody knows how to STOP COMPLAINING.
Often we complain about things we canít control. Weather, traffic or stuck in a long line. Complaining about things we canít control is like banging our head against the wall and asking ourselves why our head hurts. Itís counter-productive and waste of our precious energy.
You might temporarily feel better by complaining about being disrespected, wronged, victimized, stereo-typed and manipulated. But like smoking, afterwards you know that it will drag you down.
Contrary to popular belief, venting by complaining is unhealthy. Venting by complaining will usually lead to more unhappiness and negative thinking.
When you are complaining, you focus all your energy into negativity and that attracts more negative things. By nature, complaining is a wall raised between you and the solution to your problem. Whenever you are focused on how unfair and crappy your situation is, more you complain, the harder time you will have in finding the solution to your problem.
OkÖ.so you donít have enough money. OkÖ.so what if you donít have enough time? Other than thinking about what you donít have, what are you doing right now to have acquire those things desire?
So, what can you do when you are confronted with things you usually complain about? Instead of focusing on what you donít have, shift your focus on what you do have and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
There are three-easy steps to stop complaining starting NOW:
First is to stop complaining. When you catch yourself complaining to yourself or to others, STOP IT right then.
Second, Re-direct your focus from negative to positive. Shift your focus to something you are grateful for. For example, when you complain about how much money you donít have, think about how grateful for you are to have a roof over your head and things to eat for yourself and for your family members.
Lastly, start thinking about how you can improve your situation. Perhaps you donít like your job. Look for an alternate career you might enjoy. You might think to yourself, you do not have a choice, maybe because of your family or some unique situation. But understand that no matter how bad things may get, everyone has a choice.
When bad things happen to us, they create large amount of energy within ourselves. Whether itís negative or not, itís energy and they can be manipulated into something positive to help us instead of hurting us.
|10-06-2011, 02:35 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
About complaining about things we can't control..if I could control it then I would change it and therefore got nothing to complain..(joking aside)
This might be off..but by complaining you could be unleashing all your frustration into the world and therefore cleanse yourself of the negativity that dwell within you. Its like when you work in customer services and constantly each day got berated by very dumb/busy people .You would get mad,but can't risk doing anything about it..therefore you complain to your friends and fellow workers..who often can sympathize with what you're doing. I'm saying is that..I don't believe that all people complain are simply complain just to complain...they often are letting go of there frustration and making themselves recover in the process. So yes..to an outsider or someone like you who's probably seeing the person objectively..that would really be the case.Yet if we see it from there point of view..while not really good to complain to other...could be beneficial at least to them.
I hope you understand what I'm saying..and see that just because someone is complaining doesn't mean that all they're gonna do and not change the situation.Thought I agree with you once you reach a strong enough level of conscious..then complaining is a waste of team and counter productive,but for people who're still getting to the point..vetting the anger and frustration might be healthy.
PS-Look up the level of consciousness by Hawkins's in Power vs. Force
Last edited by TeranDios; 10-06-2011 at 02:39 AM. Reason: Level of consciousness
|10-06-2011, 06:03 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Mississauga, On Canada
I agree that many of us complain too much because it's just easier to blame somebody else instead of ourselves for our own misfortunes. We should take more responsibilities for our own happiness, circumstances, etc. No disagreement here.
However, I do think there are times when complaining does have merits. If a business that provided a product or service I paid for messed up, I will complain. For example, a hotel once messed up my reservation. I complained even though I really didn't have to. But I ended up getting some extra reward points because they didn't want to lose a valuable customer.
So it really depends on the context.
|10-06-2011, 10:07 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
Complaining because of bad service, in my opinion, doesn't fall under "Complaining". You are merely stating the fact that you've not been provided with the service that was promised to you.
Complain merely just to complain is negative. Negativity will only breeds negativity.
|10-06-2011, 10:43 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2011
I couldn't agree more. Coincidentally, I had a conversation today with someone who was complaining and I asked 'does this help?' The response was that it was venting and that yes indeed, it did help. I pointed out that venting might serve a purpose but if you complain about the same thing day in, day out, week in, week out and don't start thinking about how to improve your situation then really, it doesn't help at all.
I like the idea of complaining and I love venting but after that, the question should be: 'How do I improve my situation?' That's why complaining about a service is different from complaining for the sake of it. You're doing it so as to get a solution, you're not just focusing on the problem for the sake of the existence of the problem.
A common complaint in my house is: 'There's nothing worth watching on TV tonight.' It then descends into a complaint about how much it costs, how it isn't worth paying for, etc, etc. For me, one solution would be to not pay for it if it's seen as a waste of money. What always strikes me is that television usually distracts me from other things I want to do anyway, so I see it as a blessing if there's truly nothing that I feel like watching.
|complaining, self improvement|
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