Procrastination is killing me!

[perplexed]

I procrastinate about almost everything. And I know that I'm doing it. But I still can't quit. And it isn't like I find something else to do, I would sit and do nothing. It is quite depressing.

What am I to do?

[Henrik]

I found making a small deal with yourself to be quite effective for me. Here´s how you do it:

Promise yourself that you’ll work on something for just 5 minutes. After those 5 minutes you can do something else if you want to. But make a note on your schedule when you will come back to the task and work another 5 minutes with it. Not matter how unpleasant a task may be, you can often talk yourself into working 5 minutes on it.

I’ve found this one to be effective to make a dent in those tasks you have put of for a longer while. After you’re done with those first 5 minutes the next 5 minutes will feel a little easier. And after that the next 5 minutes will feel even easier. Or maybe you raise the bar to 10 minutes of work. Getting some actual work done on that task, if only for 5 minutes, gives you a rush of exhilaration. Making a game out of how much work you can get done in those 5 minutes can also be a small but in its own way fun challenge.

It´s was a part of my article on procrastination 7 ways to move beyond procrastination

[Michelle]

It sounds like your procrastination is a symptom of something deeper. Maybe you are procrastinating as a kind of rebellion against something?

[perplexed]

Originally Posted by Michelle

It sounds like your procrastination is a symptom of something deeper. Maybe you are procrastinating as a kind of rebellion against something?

Maybe so.

Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist / psychologist.

[Michelle]

Yes, why not? There is no shame in working on your problems. Just make sure to find a good one.

[perplexed]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Yes, why not? There is no shame in working on your problems. Just make sure to find a good one.

Any suggestions on doing that?

[JohnnyJimJams]

Steve wrote an excellent article on 'overcoming procrastination' at dexterity software....

{me searching for link}

It's has now been moved to this site...

http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles...astination.htm

This article helped me enormously.

[Michelle]

Use intention manifestation to attract the right one into your life (I did this ..).

Or book a trial hour with several different psychologists, therapists, etc ... and see which one feels good to you.

This is the same advice I give to anyone looking for any kind of teacher or guide.

Find out what works for you and what doesn't, what feels good and what doesn't.

Then, once you've found it. Stick with it. Make getting to know yourself a kind of hobby or second job. It can be fascinating.

[Cron]

There are a number of books on combatting procrastination. One of them may work for you.

Try

Overcoming Procrastination by Windy Dryden

[demk]

Explore your beliefs.

I had thoughts related to my inaction such as "I feel like I should be taking action right now" or "I feel like I'm just hoping for a miracle". When I explored these thoughts (using the Byron Katie method (www.thework.com )) I realised that they led onto another thought - that I feel that at some level my default setting is one of laziness and inaction.

It is this belief, this perception that I am intrinsically lazy, that was the problem. By trying to change this laziness I am reaffirming that it is true when what needs to happen is a shift from having that reality to having the desired reality of action. The paradox is that you can’t change by trying to change because your attempt only cements your belief in the actuality of the original state of affairs. It is your belief in the certainty of being lazy that causes you to behave in lazy ways although you may not even be aware of this belief like I wasnt. I became aware of it through seeing the thoughts that stemmed from it. Basically, I was behaving and thinking on the basis of a perception that was outdated. The "llazy" belief was informing my actions and the subsequent thoughts such as “its like I’m hoping for a miracle”. What miracle was I hoping for? A miracle to cure my laziness which was the core belief that needed questioning and changing.

What needs to happen is a fundamental shift in belief. This can only happen with enquiry (seriously check out Byron Katie's enquiry method). The enquiry I did was great because as I did it more thoughts, deeper thoughts, kept coming up. I kept writing them down and eventually I uncovered the belief that I actually feel (or felt, as is now the case) that I am set on the lazy default.

You should also ask yourself whether you really believe that laziness is killing you as well. Believing that thought creates a lot of stress in the same way my thoughts such as "I should be taking action" create stress. They argue with what is. Your inaction is clearly not killing you because you are still breathing. I clearly should not have been taking action at the point when I thought that particular thought because I was not taking action. Things should be exactly as they are. This doesn't mean that in the future you will always be inactive. When you surrender to what is you go with the flow of life and action will come in unexpected ways.

Credits go to Byron Katie for pretty much all of the ideas above. Seriously go and check out her site, her book (loving what is) and her blog too - ByronKatie.com: The Official Blog for The Work of Byron Katie

And relax because you will get there!

[norbert]

Dear perplexed,

I have posted my suggestions in my blog because I wanted to share it with my friends too. So here it is: My Take on Procrastination.

[Matt Willard]

demk, I will definitely check that link out. I'm battling procrastination too, and perhaps beliefs play into my problems as well.

[Yellow]

Originally Posted by perplexed

Maybe so.

Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist / psychologist.

I have an appointment with one today about similar problems. After thinking about it a few times, I figured that, for me, the problem is with how I view myself and what I need to do. It seems like I am scared of winning and doing well. Maybe because doing well means you have to keep doing it well to maintain what you got. On the other hand, not doing so well, takes away that responsibility and all you are left with are feelings of guilt and regret. See, no matter how much those feelings hurt, it still is MUCH easier to feel the regret than to actually make yourself do the work. This, very clearly, seems like a case of low motivation, not having enough reasons to work towards a certain goal. It can also be a problem of not having a set goal to work towards.

I dont think the psychiatrist will be able to help me much, not atleast in this meeting. But I am hoping I'll get a better understanding of what is going on.

Good luck perplexed!

[Holistic Star]

What are you procrastinating about? When you feel the resistance to doing something, what is blocking you? What is that resistance all about?

An big example I can give you is that when I met my husband we both wanted to buy a house together. We moved into a 1 bed flat to save money, and started saving. Within a year we had the deposit together for the house, bought it and moved in.
We have now been talking about starting a family for the last year and talking about saving money. However today we haven't saved a single pound. So what's going on seeings as we have found it so easy before to save money? I've found out from one of his friends, that he is terrified of the lifestyle changes, I've worked with my healer and found that I am frightened of having to put other dreams on hold for a few years. (Notice we haven't talked about this together). The procrastination is a symptom of our greater fears and we need to work through these together.

A small example is at work, when I feel myself resisting doing something. I just sit with that resistance a while to try to work out why I'm not comfortable doing that. Sometimes it is my fear of people noticing me come out so I put off sending an update email to the whole company because I don't want to be noticed! Once I realise that, it's so much easier to send. Sometimes I don't know exactly what I need to do but after applying the 5 minutes burst of work mentioned above, I can identify exactly what I need to know and can then ask for it.

I've found that beating myself up for being lazy doesn't work or get things done sooner. Also I find that I have to allow myself a lot of nothing time, where I don't have anything scheduled otherwise I get really techy. Maybe I should mediate more to reduce the need for downtime, but that then feels like something on my todo list so feels like work!

Anyway be nice to yourself. Try turning things around on your todo list from shoulds to wants e.g. "I should to do the washing up", to "I want a sparkling clean kitchen that I am proud of." I find the second much more motivating that the first.

Hope that helps Holistic Star

[demk]

To everyone suffering from procrastination, When you have exprienced the flow of effortless action that is available to you, you realise that the resistance you feel comes from an inner conflict with the laws of nature.

There is a difference between trying and trying to try. By this I mean that a person can want to apply effort or not want to apply effort. Telling yourself that you should be working harder or trying more only creates more stress when there is something amiss which is controlling whether you want to apply effort.

For example, a person is getting themselves into physical fitness and feels inclined to push themselves past the pain. This is effortless and aligned with the principles in nature. On another day however the person doesnt feel like applying the effort, not out of laziness but because it actually feels wrong to do so, maybe the body knows in this situation that pushing yourself too hard would result in harm.

My advice to people procrastinating is to ask yourself what your main concern or problem is right now, write it all down stream-of-consciosuness style, and then enqire into the beliefs that are uncovered. There is a reason you arent just doing what you think you should be doing. The rational side of your brain sees the course of action you want to take as logical but there is a much more intuitive side (the side which controls your body and how you feel when you try to do the things you are procrastinating over) that knows much better. You might find that after you have dealt with what needs to be dealt with that your course of action remains the same or it might be totally different.

Sometimes life is like a combination lock and you have to realise certain things before the next level things are accesible.

[Steve MacLellan]

I procrastinate about almost everything. And I know that I'm doing it. But I still can't quit. And it isn't like I find something else to do, I would sit and do nothing. It is quite depressing.

What am I to do?

Worry about it tomorrow?

I apologize in advance. I couldn't resist...

Regards,
Steve MacLellan