Time to become a man and stop running from life

[Broadsword]

I've posted here over the last year since I joined looking for advice/help and on things I want to improve without them going anywhere because I just sat on my behind and took no action. I think its time to change that.

I have posted in my cuboard door a to do list from 2010 which includes join a gym, quit smoking, advance my career, get our of debt and improve myself as a person/get better with woman. I've not really achieved any of them because I either didn't (A) do anything about them/too scared to try or (B) quit at the first hurdle. Its nearly 2012 now - thats pretty shocking.

I've known this all along, but I can probably (A) go through the same weekly/life routine and let the above stay as they are or (B) do something about it - the worst that can happen is things dont get any worse. I read the other day "If you change nothing, nothing changes". I can quite easily (no disrespect to anyone on here ) continue posting topics on internet forums looking for others to help and THINK about doing things, but if I don't act on them I'm not going to get anywhere. It has to be me that does it, no one is going to do it for me. I suppose i haven't done anything about these things because I'm quite comfortable doing nothing, I'm scared of what lies ahead and deep inside i lack the self belief that i can do these things.

Briefly I could say life hasn't been fair to me; bullied at School, not the greatest University experience, my father passing away (which if I'm honest took me about 3 years to recover from - I ended up in a mental home for a week) and now left with a family home in desperate need of work and a lonely mother who needs my help. I've sat and hated life and thought "why me?" for so long - maybe its time to just "get over it".

I've currently got 3 weeks holidays from work spent at home. I've had one of those "Aha" moments, maybe my subconscious trying to tell me something. The last 2 occasions this happened was when my Dad passed and then when I was mentally ill and I failed to act on them. Maybe its something to do with me turning 30 in a few months, the fact the year is almost over, all my friends are starting families, that its almost 5 years since Dad died - who knows.

This sounds really stupid but I take a lot of inspiration from super heroes, in particular Superman. In the TV show Smallville through the years, Clark knows he has a destiny to become the worlds greatest hero but he struggles with the burden of it and rejects it, makes mistakes and fights it all the way with bad consequences. In the final season when almost all is lost he takes the bull by the horns, "mans up" and finally embraces what hes meant to do and becomes Superman. I'm obviously being a bit melodramatic here but I see parallels with my own life here - if I want to become the hero I think its time I started taking responsibility to achieve it

So it starts today. No more wasting time trailing the internet looking for advice on life, no more sitting "thinking" about doing things - time to just start. I'm beginning with a pending 30 day challange which is quite gentle to start with (see other thread).

I'm not really sure what the wpoint of this thread is, its maybe for my own benefit - I'm maybe looking for inspiration from persons in this forum, or any life experience others have/life changes or problems they've had and how they've overcame them.

[Steve Boyd]

How's it going? What action have you taken so far?

[Clint Cora]

I think it's perfectly okay to have a few fictional characters as role models. After all, it's the positive character traits in them that you want to identify with. Among my role models, the one fictional one is James Bond. He has a lot of traits that many men would like to have and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Broadsword]

Originally Posted by Steve Boyd

How's it going? What action have you taken so far?

Not very well, I'm having mejor trouble motivating myself to do anything and just being lazy lazing around the house. I just re-read the topic I wrote, time to hit the rest button and try again tomorrow.....

[Clint Cora]

Originally Posted by Broadsword

Not very well, I'm having mejor trouble motivating myself to do anything and just being lazy lazing around the house. I just re-read the topic I wrote, time to hit the rest button and try again tomorrow.....

Ooh, that's too bad. I have a recent video about motivating yourself to do things that you don't really like doing. Perhaps it might help.

Good luck and by the way, I LOVE the name of your ID. I've got a set of kung fu broadswords myself.

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by Broadsword

Not very well, I'm having mejor trouble motivating myself to do anything and just being lazy lazing around the house

Steve recommends that instead of trying to do a lot of different goals at the same time, especially if you're stuck: start with a simple physical goal. Whether it's walking, jogging, jumping rope, biking, exercise DVD: you don't have to join a gym. You can buy some inexpensive weights if you want to weight train.

Start small and just work on being consistent; say 15 minutes a day. Commit to doing it first thing in the morning so you will not be tempted to skip it later on in the day.

@ Clint: I enjoyed your Sidedoor video. Trying to think how to apply this to my current goal of beautifying/de-cluttering my home. I hate housework, but the most neutral thing I can do is dusting, so I'll start there.

[Clint Cora]

Originally Posted by Lioness

@ Clint: I enjoyed your Sidedoor video. Trying to think how to apply this to my current goal of beautifying/de-cluttering my home. I hate housework, but the most neutral thing I can do is dusting, so I'll start there.

Thanks! I HATE housework too. But I've managed to get it done in bits during work breaks (at home) and during TV commercials. At least I know that these bits are for a short set time and over about 2 days, I'll get my entire house cleaned. Just try a bit at a time and you will get there!

[Broadsword]

I've had a re-think and a lot of (duh, naturally!) this is to do with whats going on in my head. A bit random, but I recently bought the full Rocky DVD collection and have watched the first 4 films. I love these films and the main character. The opening scene of Rocky IV & the training montage totally got me buzzing! I used to be quite into Karate/Football/Weights in my early to mid teens and watching these brought it all back (I'm now overweight and a smoker but thats besides the point...). Watching these films really got the blood pumping and the hairs standing on the back of my neck (I challenge anyone to watch the opening credits to Rocky IV and not feel the same! )

I might look into a bit more into looking inward at visualising and self belief, time for a change in role model I think.....

[Curious cat]

Hi, I'd just like to offervsome words of encouragement. My father was a teen smoker and was a heavy chain smoker; he was a chimney! it was only recently, just a few years back that he was diagnosed with peostate cancer in his late sixies tht he decided to quit, cold urkey. Today he and my mother are holidaying in Europe, cancer free and smoke free at the ripe old age of 70.

Think about it, if this tubborn old geeser can do it, I have high hopes that you can too

Another story I have is my own personal experience. last year I was pregnant with my first child and lets just say I went crazy with nom noms and I ballooned and gained 25kg over the course of my pregnancy (and the baby was only 2.71kg, so it was pretty much mostly me lol). I did lose all the baby weight but I believe my success is largely due to me being kind to myself and just start with baby steps. i started with just five minutes of light cardio either stationary bike or a brisk walk and slowly increased my time and intensity when I felt ready. and if I ever slipped up and missed a session I would remind myself that it was ok to pick it up again the next day.

I believe once you start exercising for long enough, it becomes your new habbit. You just need to start somewhere small, your grand plans will always be there for you o put into motion anytime in your future

All the best!

[TeranDios]

Its perfectly find traits you want to get fictional heroes or even some traits from villains to help you become as you like to said a man. Just always remember not to copy there physical traits(the high end ones) or there eccentricity(you could do this but prepare for some interesting consequence). This is a very cruel yet enjoyable world we live in. Don't let it consume you..I too have lost a brother of mine due to cancer..it destroy my life for 7 years after his death. Take care and good luck on your endeavors. Always remember action is a 100 times more important than words.