Red Flags, the White Flag

[JAlvy]

I can't... DO anything. I'm completely, totally, utterly frozen. Useless. I'm like the college graduate version of the cigarette-smoker-with-a-voice-box, telling the kiddies, "Hey now, you better watch what you're doing, or you'll end up like me - jobless".

I haven't been able to get even get myself to try. Like, to brush up my resume, or apply for some new jobs, or think about what field I want to get into, or any of it. I know that in order to enact change, I will at some point have to try. But I feel as though absolute torture awaits around each corner.

I'm average. ************. I'm below-average. I graduated with a 2.997 GPA from a party school in a blow-off major that has no application in the "real world". That's how I feel about it. And, should the miracle of miracles happen that I actually DO find myself in a job interview, I don't feel as though that response would satisfy them.

When I graduated, I had no idea what I wanted to do (big surprise). I took a job as a door-to-door salesman selling office supplies. I was ************ing terrible at it. I probably made 2 dollars an hour. And I paid for my own gas. And food. And clothes.

I burned out of that after 2 months, and took a job calling customers to renew their domains. If it was better, it was by a matter of degrees. I couldn't stand it. Every day I just thought, "OK... just try to make it to first break. Lunch. Second break. End of shift." It was just the same grind, in a different way. So, after 3 months of that, I quit again.

My history is littered with some many red flags, I've thrown up the white flag.

That was before Thanksgiving, last year. Here we are, rapidly approaching Cinco de Mayo, which also serves as the one year anniversary of my graduating from college. While around this time last year I probably wasn't thinking much further ahead than deciding what I'd be drinking that night, had I taken the time to think forward a year, I never, ever could've pictured this.

[Shamou]

Seems like we have a bit of a problem here… if you are serious about getting help… you can find it here… however… it’s not going to be easy…

I’ll give you a small program to start with… and tell me what you think…

First… you must decide that it is possible to turn your life around and that you can do it…

Second… you have to write down what is no longer acceptable in your life… materially, mentally and spiritually (the last is optional)

Third… write down the things that you want…

Fourth… start taking action right now to turn what you want into reality…

Fifth… report here everyday to tell us what you have accomplished and ask advice if needed…

That program may seem like a non brainer… but I honestly think that it is the only one…

My very best wishes to you…

.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by JAlvy

I can't... DO anything.

Shamou's advice is spot on.

The only thing I'd add is a big yellow highlight on his first step. You must replace your belief that you cannot to a belief that you can in order to move out of this stagnation.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by InJoy

Shamou's advice is spot on.

The only thing I'd add is a big yellow highlight on his first step. You must replace your belief that you cannot to a belief that you can in order to move out of this stagnation.

Thank you... great minds think alike...

.

[Jenny]

JAIvy,
Posting to the forum is a good FIRST step. You are not the only person who has felt this way at least once in your life, the problem is if that is where you stay (mentally and physically). I'd have to agree that Shamou's advice is great. It will only work if you want it to.

Good luck! Hope to hear updates on how you are doing.

[JAlvy]

My first post was so whiney, not usually a trait of mine. But it's been a frustrating few months. I've really set a couple of Catch-22s that will be tough to get out of.

For example, I've convinced myself that employees won't accept me because of what has now been an almost 6-month unemployment gap. I didn't leave to take care of a parent, child, go back to school. I left because I felt like I was going nowhere. However, the day I quit, I joined a gym. It was reminiscent of "Forrest Gump", when Forrest starts running.

And run I did. And lift weights. And do yoga. And learned to swim (sort of). I lost 30 pounds in 5 months, to get to a weight less than any weight I was in ALL of high school.

I'm not apologetic for the past 6 months, but I still feel as though prospective employers will need to "forgive" me for quitting a job after such a short period of time (3 months).

How can I make my journey over the last 6 months look appealing to employers? How can I accentuate those skills and lessons learned? What were the skills and lessons learned?

That's where frustration comes in. Mostly, I end up cursing the very idea of a resume and whomever came up with it. However, that strategy hasn't helped me get a job.

Anybody else ever just up and quit a job before finding another one? How did you get around the employment gap?

I don't want to get to a point where I'll need to lie on my resume, but the thought has crossed my mind that if I bumped my graduation date a year forward (to May 2007), it'll virtually give me a clean slate.

[Faith]

This may just be a different way of saying what others are telling you, but instead of focusing on your weaknesses, start identifying your strengths. You are a college graduate! Just having that degree qualifies you for better jobs than you could get without it. Your posts show that you have very good writing skills. Good communication skills are the #1 thing employers are looking for. The fact that you are in this personal development forum shows you must have some small flame of ambition. You probably have a lot going for you, but you won't be able to sell yourself to employers if you can't see it yourself.

There are a lot of things you can do. Try working through a book like HELP WANTED: AN INEXPERIENCED JOB SEEKER'S COMPLETE GUIDE TO CAREER SUCCESS / by Ann M. Gill & Stephen M. Lewis. That book or a similar one can help you identify your strengths and help you present them on a resume or cover letter. It also explains job seeking strategies like networking.

Does your college offer alumnae the services of their career center? They might have resources that would be helpful to you.

Good luck.

Faith

[Iksander]

Just a thought passing through my mind while reading all of this (I ditto everyone else on Shamou's advice too).

As Humans, action/movement/motive-force IS what draws 'life' through your body. Life running through your body always feels good.

So, honestly, before you begin that program - stop sitting in front of your computer where you are not moving; get out, go for run, a hike, or do 25 push ups as fast as you can. That will get everything moving again, atleast a little bit - then focus on those intellectual processes from that place, which should always feel better (it would be odd if it didn't).

Especially for men this holds true, we are very rooted in our bodies (AKA the Hunters) so moving your body around in a way that really USES IT will FEEL GOOD and put you in the perfect place to begin that program.

Hope that helps!

[seeker5]

How can I make my journey over the last 6 months look appealing to employers? How can I accentuate those skills and lessons learned? What were the skills and lessons learned?

Perhaps you don't have to mention you were unemployed on your resume. You can simply say: "2006 Worked at this place" without the months mentioned. And in person you can explain what happened in 2007. (I'm assuming the unemployment was the last 6 months).

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by JAlvy

How can I make my journey over the last 6 months look appealing to employers? How can I accentuate those skills and lessons learned? What were the skills and lessons learned?

How about running those three questions by yourself in reverse order?

If you were to do that, your first question would be:
What were the skills and lessons learned?

Only you can answer that question.

I'm thinking that the second question will come naturally from the first, and then the third from the second.

If you feel like you wasted your time for those six months, then your prospective employers will think that you wasted your time. So look for the value in it and reframe your experience such that you are proud to add that entry to your resume, and you can't wait for someone to ask you about it.

After you get that first answer question answered, we may be able to help.

[A.K.Light]

How many employers have turned you down due to the gap of employment so far? What did they say to you?

Lots of great advice in this thread.

[Mike_T]

As someone who's been in the workforce for 15 years, I'd say you're blowing your problems way out of proportion, and I think your real problem is your own mindset.

You're 1 year out of college. The jobs you're applying for will be entry level positions for college graduates. There are LOTS of these jobs out there, LOTS of companies hiring, and if you show a positive attitude, knowledge of their company, motivation to work there, and good energy, I have absolutely no doubt that you'll get job offers.

Sure, it would be nice if you had a higher GPA, or if you were still working. But these aren't things that kill your chances, they're just things you need to come to peace with about yourself, and move on.

Here's the secret to a job search: It's a numbers game. In the last 2 weeks, how many job ads have you responded to with a cover letter and a resume? How many companies have you researched as places you might want to work? How many phone or face to face interviews have you been on in the last 2 weeks?

From your post, I'm guessing the answers to all of the above is "not many". If you turn that around and send lots of cover letters and resumes out, you will get interviews. The more companies you send resumes to, the more interviews you'll get. The more interviews you go on, the more offers you'll get.

Certainly there are things you can do to raise your chances--polish up your resume, come up with a good cover letter template, etc. But my advice on that is don't wait. Put in a few days MAX on getting a resume together you're happy with, and START SENDING IT.

The prework I'd most highly recommend is figuring out what kind of job you want. Something you can sincerely say to an employer that you're excited about doing. ESPECIALLY for entry level jobs, I think employers are looking for energetic and motivated people, who sincerely want the job they're applying for. In a businesslike way, the message you want to send is that if they hire you, you'll learn fast, work hard, kick ass and take names. And it really helps if you mean it--both before and after you get the job.

Once you figure out one or more things that you would like to do, focus your search on companies that can give you that kind of work. I don't know where you live, but in any sizable city, there are lots of companies to choose from, big and small, and in a wide variety of industries. Look on Monster and the other job boards. Let everyone know what you're looking for--networking is a great way to find a job. Set specific goals for yourself about how many jobs you'll apply for per week, and stick to it.

Be diligent about following up when you get responses, and don't let rejections get you down--it's like any sales process, you have to get through a bunch of no's to get to a yes. But this sales process is easier than most sales jobs, because you only need to get one yes.

Look at JibberJobber, an online web app for tracking/organizing your job search process, or come up with your own system in a spreadsheet or on paper or whatever.

Again though, I think your own mindset is what's holding you back. Stop holding yourself back--let someone else tell you that your GPA or your employment history is a problem. Go ahead and come up with good answers for what you might expect in terms of tough questions. But if you've done your research on the companies you apply to, and you have good answers to basic questions like "Why do you want to work here?", and have a list of good questions that show you know a lot about the company and the position already, you've got a big leg up on your competition already.

[Mike_T]

One other thing, to more specifically address your questions. For your "gap" in employment history, I wouldn't worry about how it looks on my resume or take any extraordinary measures to explain it or compensate for it on the resume. I would ignore it as an issue, let an interviewer bring it up first, and only then give an answer.

If I were in your situation, my answer would probably be along the lines of "The job really wasn't a good fit for me, because X (where X is honest, but isn't saying you hated something that the job you're applying for requires), so I decided I needed to take some time to figure out what I really wanted to do. Now I know that X (where X is the type of job you're applying for) is what I want to do, because X, Y, and Z." That addresses the question, and ends with a positive statement about why you're right for the job, effectively changing the subject. You might even follow that up with a question, something that shows you have some good insight about the job or the company, and something that the interviewer will think is a good, relevant question.

Have good stories to tell that show you will succeed in the job you're after--whether it's from your job, your school, or whatever. Focus on demonstrating that you understand what the employer needs, and showing how you can meet that need. There's nothing wrong with asking lots of questions. Many interviews I've had (on both sides of the table), the interviewer talks more than the interviewee, and most of the time that's a good thing. More than once I've walked out of an interview thinking "wow, I hardly said a word, and I asked as many or more questions than he did", and soon got an offer.

In essence, don't focus on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. If an interviewer brings up an area of weakness, address it head on, but briefly, keep your answer positive, and steer the conversation in a positive direction with a good question or statement.

If you make a plan and follow it like I suggested in my first post, I think you'll be looking back on this experience and laughing about how easy it was to get a job once you really went after it.

[Freelancer]

Somebody ones told me a story about a dentist, he once had a client that came by with crooked teeth. As they where talking about getting the crooked teeth straight the client started telling why he shouldnt get it done. It would be painfull, uncomfortable and socially awkward, this went on for a while untill the dentist stopped him.

He asked him;
Do you want me to fix your crooked teeth?

The man answered 'yes offcourse'.

Than get it done. The next 3 years are going to fly by regardless of having braces or not. If your end goal is getting your teeth fixed the uncomfortable stuff isnt that important.



So do you want to get this done and move to the next stage in your life?

If yes than follow Shamou's advice, if no than you have other issue's you first need to resolve.

[JAlvy]

It seems to be the popular thing to do, so I've decided to keep track of my progress, for better or worse, on a blog.

Hardly Working: A Job Search Blog