Please help me!

[starlike]

I'm completely indifferent to life. I've take medication for depression and though I now have the energy to do things and don't feel like doing 'em. The only thing I like is playing online poker and I can only do that for X hours because I get tired and start to lose. The rest of the time I either gamble relentlessly or just sit hour on end staring in front of me.

The only thing that motivates me is doing things that for sure will be of value in the future, 100%. And money gives me a little spark because of that. What to do with all this time?

And especially what to do with all nights. I can't read books,I can't watch TV Im feeling indiffernt.

[Shamou]

This post being in that same vein as this one... you may want to ask a mod to link them together so that people giving you advice know what the problem is all about...

.

[escapee]

What kind of food do you eat daily? Are you on low fat diet ? How many hours do you exercise per week ?

You maybe deficient in EFAs ( essential fatty acids found in Flaxseed, primrose oil, pumpkin seed, fish and etc ) or exercise.

The most difficult part of exercise is getting started ( it happens on most of us ) . You need to get it started and do it for at least 45 mins to reap the benefits.

The above is IMO

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by starlike

......
The only thing that motivates me is doing things that for sure will be of value in the future, 100%.

Starlike, for starters, you can't expect "things" or circumstances to motive you. You have to take responsibility for yourself and start doing things that will in turn get you going. Exercise, is a great example. It's a great way to get your endorphins activated.

As far as 100% value. None of us have guarantees. We all have to put our best foot forward and take some personal risks.

To quote George Bernard Shaw:

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

[starlike]

I have had the intention to run for 5 years. I cannot force myself to do that, no matter what Shawn says.

[ZHereford]

Having the intention is not doing it. Just start some form of taking care of yourself. As Escapee suggests, it could be your diet.

Once you make the effort and start, it will be easier and easier and you'll get out of the rut you are in.

Taking the first step is the way to begin.

[Kayceezharold]

Hey Starlike, do this...

for your gambling habit:
1. Get a see-through open top box.
2. Everytime you get the urge to go to the online gambling sites, take out a 10-bill and place it into your see-though box.
3. Go to the free games site available on your operating system or on the net.
4. Play against the computer. Each new game you play, place another 10-dollar bill into the box. Play to your heart's delight.
5. Pay yourself to play and after each week, take the money out and buy yourself a treat. Or better still, take the money and look for a deserving charity, or the single mom or the elderly couple down the street, and offer to buy her groceries with the money you took out from the see-through box.

For your indifference:
1. Look for a children's home near where you live.
2. Pay a visit.
3. Whilst there, look for a child who has need, say for a pair of running shoes, or a basketball, or perhaps who will be celebrating a birthday tomorrow.
4. Buy a cake and some treats and give it to the child.
5. Look at the reaction on the child's face and the emerging smile...
6. Indulge in that moment and better still, capture that kodak moment with your cell-phone or your digital camera.
7. Make a print out and place it beside your computer, to remind you that you can still make a difference a someone's life.

Use your extra boost of energy to help make someone else who is weak, who is physically or socially challenged, feel similarly energised. Just get out of your house and look around with "open eyes" and you will see people in need. Perhaps the elderly man sitting at the park bench, or the lady working at her garden, or the person sweeping and making the streets clean. Slowly but surely, you will experience and see that your indifference will be transformed, in differences created in other people's life.

Doing all these will for sure add 100%, no - 1000% value in not only other's life but also in your own life. Knowing and seeing that you can and have made someone else smile and also perhaps created a difference in their current condition / situation, will also mean investing in your own life - psychologically.

Kayceez
The World Thru Kayceez Eyes
My Success Plan for Personal Development

[lifeinoleg]

Originally Posted by starlike

I have had the intention to run for 5 years. I cannot force myself to do that, no matter what Shawn says.

Please try this:

1) Feel the frustration of intending to run but not doing it.

Here are the actions you'll take to actually do what you want and not feel frustration and sadness about it anymore:

2) Stand up.

3) Get dressed.

4) Step outside.

5) Turn in any direction (...opposite the door, smartie )

6) Set an alarm (on your cell phone or watch) for 20 minutes.

7) Walk before you run.

[starlike]

Walking is good. I try to do that when I can force myself to it but it is probably as "hard" as climbing a mountain for a normal person so I don't do it that often.

Helping children, well, can't do that. I already have some obsessive thoughts about my sexuality and that I'm a soon-to-be-rapist and cild molestor and so on. There is no substance in the "accusation" but it is enough to make even shallow relationships with pretty women or talking to kids difficult. Even looking at them or being close to them create some stress.

[escapee]

Beside the recommendation on exercise, I 'd suggest that you go to your local health store to buy some flaxoil (rich in parent omega 3) and evening Primrose oil (parent omega 6) now.

www.brianpeskin.com/NEXUS%20Hidden%20Story%20Article.pdf

Nature is wonderful. She requires just a few essentials for maximum health. With the EFA deficiency solved along with cancer and
heart disease protection you also achieve: Significantly decreased appetite plus decreased cravings for sweets, softer, smoother skin,
less cellulite, stronger finger nails, thicker, fuller hair, less dandruff, lessened neuropathy if you are diabetic, better blood sugar control,
less arthritis, less joint pain, faster healing, fewer headaches, better pregnancies, less PMS, increased mental clarity, better focus, helps
improve ADD and ADHD, more energy, greater intensity, faster recuperation. 3 EFAs in the ratios recommended give your body
maximum anti-inflammatory protection, too. As proof, you may notice the following anti-inflammation benefits: . Cuts and bruises
heal quicker, 2. Quicker healing of all surgeries, 3. Less bleeding from dental exams/brushing, . Less pain of arthritis, . Lowering of
diastolic blood pressure (the bottom number), 6. Lowering of systolic blood pressure (the top number), . Increased blood flow to
vital organs, 8. Skin becomes smoother and more elastic, 9. Skin inflammation symptoms may decrease—rashes, skin tags, warts, etc.
0. Vision can improve regardless of age, . Alzheimer’s symptoms can decrease, 2. Nerve function improves, including neuropathy
and retinopathy, 3. Allergy symptoms may decrease, . Fewer headaches, including fewer migraines, and . Faster reaction time in
athletes.

[lifeinoleg]

Originally Posted by starlike

Walking is good. I try to do that when I can force myself to it but it is probably as "hard" as climbing a mountain for a normal person so I don't do it that often.

Starlike,

After considering the contents of the above post, as well as the other posts in this thread, my feeling is that you may want to consider getting professional help in addition to what is offered in this forum. Perhaps that is offensive to post, or not my determination to make, or, maybe you are already being helped elsewhere ("I've take medication for depression..."). In any case, I hope you find it in yourself to take some of the suggestions offered in this thread to heart, and - to borrow your analogy - become a mountaineer. They climb mountains often. So can you.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by starlike

[...] The only thing I like is playing online poker and I can only do that for X hours because I get tired and start to lose. [...]
The only thing that motivates me is doing things that for sure will be of value in the future, 100%.

Presumably you can't be sure that online poker will be of value to you in the future, yet that motivates you. There's a contradiction here. Finding the root of it will probably be helpful.

P.S. Sorry I was tetchy at you in the other thread. I hadn't realised you were doing it so hard.

Originally Posted by starlike

I have had the intention to run for 5 years. I cannot force myself to do that, no matter what Shawn says.

Fine. Then walk instead. If you can't walk for 30 mins, walk for 5 mins. Then next time raise it to 6.

You can be 100% sure that the self-discipline you develop doing it will be of value in the future.

[uberinquisitive]

I can only recommend what has worked for me.

I was on the verge of killing myself, and was saved by EFT. Your case sounds extremely serious (ahedonia, deep depression, anxiety, sexual issues, etc.)

Please look up master EFT practitioners, and contact all of them as an emergency case. Your health is priceless, and their fees are absolutely worth it.

It took me approx. 8 one-hour sessions to get to the point where I could function more normally.

In the meantime, I also recommend the oils (make sure you get the lemon flavor!). You may also want to go to tapping.com and look at the videos for depression. You may find yourself very exhausted while doing them, or resistant. This is normal - just try to do as much as possible.