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04-27-2007, 04:37 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
 |  What makes you feel important… ???
Tony Robbins tells us that one of the human needs is “significance” the feeling that we are somebody… that we are important… that we matter… The question here is… how do you fulfill that need…??? This is not just an idle question… it is an important one… because the way that we seek personal significance is one of the main factor in our personal decision making process… so, if we don’t even consciously know what makes us feel important… how can we intelligently manage and direct our own life…??? So, please share... the answer to that question may amaze you... and may get you to find out something about yourself that you did not even suspect... . |
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04-27-2007, 11:31 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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OK... no one wants to start... so, I'll be first... I have had many ways of seeking personal significance... While quite young I was pretty good in sport... so, at the time, it did it for me... as a young man, sport cars were the things (Corvette)... made me feel like a big man... after that, I received my degree and with that financial success and the big clinic became the item... Next, I fancied myself an intellectual... that worked for awhile... but, for the last two decades... it has been "contribution to my fellow man" ...that, by far, has been the most rewarding and most satisfying way of fulfilling the "significance" need... . |
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04-27-2007, 11:55 PM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
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04-28-2007, 02:07 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Carissa Park, Singapore
Posts: 31
|  It's The WHY...
It's really not the "what" that would make me feel important, but it is more the "why", that makes me feel important! All of us possess a "WHY" as we go through life... Once we know and understand the "WHY" in our life, and once we know that we can achieve it, the result of which will make a difference, this creates the sense within that I am important - cos I can make a difference. Whether this difference is in my life, or better still in someone else's life - it doesn't matter. Knowing that I am here in this world for a reason and purpose, that I may affect and have positive effects on those I interact with, allows me to feel important, not in the sense of "I-am-higher-than thou" thingy... but more of knowing that I am able to contribute to the betterment of people! Kayceez The World Thru Kayceez Eyes My Success Plan for Personal Development |
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04-28-2007, 03:21 AM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
Great minds think alike...  . | |
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04-28-2007, 09:05 AM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Carissa Park, Singapore
Posts: 31
|  Quote:
Glad that I've found someone with similar motivations here...  ---------------------- Kayceez The World Thru Kayceez Eyes My Success Plan Through Personal Development | |
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04-30-2007, 08:56 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 127
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Very interesting question - especially as I research material for a new book I am writing where the message comes through loud and clear that great achievers in history have aligned their lives well with what makes them feel significant. What fascinates me even more is that vast majority of us pursue careers, relationships, life experiences that are completely mis-aligned with our passions and those things that make us feel significant. For me, music is what makes me feel significant. If I can touch someone with music, impress a club with my latest songs, make a roomful of people happy on a Friday night - then there is no better feeling in the world for me. Yet - a career as a musician is a very risky proposition - so I've learned to balance other interests with a strong priority for my music. Jeff |
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05-01-2007, 12:57 AM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
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05-01-2007, 12:11 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 634
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Most of my adult life (I'm 28), I've sought romantic relationships to make me feel significant. I would instantly toss aside everything in order to be 100% available for a guy. And then I'd wonder why I attracted the wrong guys, as well as why I was so unhappy and depressed. And this was a subtle dysfunction. Even those closest to me (friends and family) couldn't see how mis-aligned I was. Plus, I'm a very bright, self-aware girl. I would know if my life is off-kilter, right? This shows you how easy it is to be blind to yourself. It is a blessing that those around us are our mirrors - how else would be really know? Three months ago, I went through a deep personal tragedy. Since then, I've had to re-assess my life. I'm still unsure of exactly what my life's purpose is, or what gives me significance. But, I'm totally sure that looking for significance by being "____'s girlfriend/fiancée/chick" is backwards. Maybe, love does give me significance. But losing myself in someone doesn't. I know a lot of young women are travelling the same road I used to. It's unfortunate that it took a horrible event for me to stop my destructive path. But I feel very fortunate that I did wake up, and at a young age when I have much more freedom to change dramatically. Thanks for reading. Last edited by uberinquisitive; 05-01-2007 at 12:12 PM. Reason: spelling |
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05-01-2007, 09:20 PM
| #13 (permalink) | ||
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
Quote:
I hate to tell you this… but you should base your self-importance on character values than on materialistic or genetic factors… that way… you are in total control of what makes you feel important… and you chances for happiness will be greater… . | ||
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05-11-2007, 12:36 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 23
| re:
hi shamou.. well .. just in response to your reply to camc.. i dont think u can really change what makes you feel important.. i think if you are honest with yourself.. you will ask yourself .. who doesnt feel important or better when members of the opposite sex look at them twice because they are good looking.. or when they are just received an award that they have worked hard for .. or if they are recognised.. i think that if something makes you feel important..then you should try and pursue it as long as other people arent made to suffer.. i mean.. therez no point for a beautiful woman to downplay her beauty ..esp if that is what makes her feel significant.. just because she should focus on other things..and not be "superficial" per se... i mean ..enjoy it while you can !! everyone should stop having their love/hate relationship with beautiful people.. most people see someone who is stunning in a magazine.. lust/envy them ..and get so happy when something bad or imperfect happens in their life.. if someone is beautiful..appreciate it .. just as we appreciate kindness and laughter.. whatz wrong with appreciating a bit of outer beauty and being proud of it ! |
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05-11-2007, 12:39 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Netherlands
Posts: 821
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My way of feeling significant is the same as it is for you, by helping others realize and achieve there dreams I feel significant. Making a change in the world and in people makes me feel significant.  Once again, great minds think alike ! Anyway shamou, this was a question I was meaning to ask; Did you get personal training from Anthony Robbins or studied everything yourself? |
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05-11-2007, 12:42 PM
| #16 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Netherlands
Posts: 821
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The risk with that is if you ever lose the source of being significant you will become miserable, and losing your beauty over time or your money/car/house because of a big bump in the road isn't that uncommon. To prevent feeling that loss and that pain you can perhaps replace or supplement it with other ways of feeling significant... | |
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05-11-2007, 03:03 PM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
All in all, I have also taken about 100 seminars on PD... what can I tell you... I love the stuff... . | |
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05-11-2007, 03:35 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,629
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In the past I've gotten a feeling of importance from physical strength, flexibility, toughness, calm state of mind, intelligence/creativity, openness to new experiences, and affectionate friends. I still enjoy all of that, but if the physical strength eventually passes I'll be fine. So far I've found there's nothing external that can make me lose my happiness/peace of mind completely, so what I really get my feeling of importance from could be difficult to point out. It's always been with me, as I was an easy child, and I've always had a smile on my face. It's simply my spirit shining through.
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05-11-2007, 04:47 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 117
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Mostly from writing. Putting a story together, weaving it from nothing, and having absolute control over the characters in the world I have created fills with me megalomaniacal glee. And importance when other people read them and enjoy them.
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05-11-2007, 07:52 PM
| #20 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
...but I'm all for beauty... especially in a woman... it's a great gift...However, I also believe that inner beauty shines through and is much more under the influence of the beholder... and... that was the reasoning behind my reply to camc...  . | |
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05-13-2007, 06:10 AM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 332
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I think there are two levels of fulfillment: 1) First, there is the fulfillment that comes from using certain gifts. A person who truly LOVES to play the piano may achieve great feelings of significance by tapping out a tune on the keys. A great writer may find significance by writing, regardless of his subject or intent. 2) Secondly, there is purpose fulfillment. This is the joy that we get when we accomplish something in the world that we find personally meaningful, even if it didn't use any of our most beloved skills. Examples include helping the needy, being a good father, being a good husband. If you can find a way to combine both types of fulfillment, the world is your oyster! Use your most beloved gifts to accomplish a mission you believe in! |
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05-14-2007, 05:01 AM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 97
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What makes one feel important? One makes himself/herself feel important. It's called self love babay! You feel important when you have high self esteem. You have HSE by accepting you for being you. Even though you may not be perfect according to what your ego says, accept yourself fully and completely. Think about it - self esteem is how you see yourself. So LOVE yourself so much that you never look outside of yourself to feel important. When you get to a certain level of self love you will KNOW you are important - it won't even be in question. Careful though... to much self love can attract insecure people who like to crap on others (call them arrogant, egotistical...)
Last edited by Dusty; 05-14-2007 at 05:04 AM. |
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05-14-2007, 07:13 AM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Cairo, Egypt
Posts: 22
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Hi Shamou, Tony Robbins tells us that one of the human needs is “significance” the feeling that we are somebody… that we are important… that we matter… The question here is… how do you fulfill that need…??? that's a very good point may be i have viewed the thread lately i feel how important this is because i have suffered a good part of my life feeling i am not important or significant and i have measured this by my importance in the eyes of others and as by that time i didnt see myself important for others not becuse i wasnt helpful but because i hadnt this charisma of attracting others to my personality or my speech i was quiet and not that much talkative accordingly i felt my presence in family or friends gathering isnt that important getting older i started to recognizethat is something should come from unside its all about achieving my dreams having my own interests and trying to create the time to do it to develop my personality and build my own views of life rather than wasting much of my time and mind thinking what others think of me and i didnt yet totally overcome this point but i am working on that. |
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06-15-2007, 03:50 AM
| #24 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
The only opinion that really does matter as to who you truly are is your own opinion... because, no one, but no one but you really knows what lies deeply in your mind and heart... . | |
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06-15-2007, 05:16 AM
| #25 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 219
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Very good topic Shamou. I feel, to a degree, we will always flirt with the opinions of others - we are social creatures. You could not be significant if you weren't significant to someone, or, something? If you are significant to someone then that means they have an opinion of you, and to feel your significance is to entertain their opinion. So, entertain the opinion that you feel you deserve (significance?) and simply be indifferent to those that do not match the highest ideal you have set for yourself. You are then resonating with positive aspects and allowing their negative aspects to be simply 'of them'. I feel significant in the amazing things I do - that bring curious minds and awe inspired imaginations a playful kind of 'brightness' about them, a bit like the feeling faeries have about them. |
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06-15-2007, 11:28 AM
| #26 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,016
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oh wow... where to start I find so many things in life fullfiling and they bring me great joy... All gifts are gifts of blessing to be seen and heard..... I bake my own cakes for my family, friends and occasions , started out as fun and now it is a huge passion, I invent my own recipies, and am always looking to improve or change or modify recipies....... its great i love it while 90 percent of my cakes are a success with those who sample them, the real success is how my self esteem and sense of self worth have grown... If somone had of told me 10 yrs ago that I would be so passionate about something and that it would motivate all other areas of my life ( fitness, attitude, etc) I would have said they were crazy hehehe something from nothing :-)) Amen |
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06-15-2007, 01:32 PM
| #27 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 728
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I started a new job in feb. In May I had a discussion with the General Manager about some ideas I had. He said to me "Whatever you want to do here, just do it. Your authority here is absolute". In a meeting we had in may about an upcoming aquisition he said "I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing this with (my predecessor), I feel much more comfortable now (me) is here" If my peers and my superiors ask my opinions about matters that they don't need to ask my opinion on, I feel important. |
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06-15-2007, 04:54 PM
| #28 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 127
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The things that makes me feel important ... When my 3 1/2 year old boy comes-up to me and gives me a big hug while telling me he loves me or when he wants me to pick him up because he hurt himself or he's tired. When my 15 months old girl comes-up to me and gives me a kiss or wants to be picked-up because she hurt herself. When I receive a job offer for another company with an 18% salary increase plus a signing bonus (like it happened 3 months ago). When people at work come to me for advice and guidance. When I lead a meeting or conference call with 10 or more people located on 3 different continents. When I win a high $$ contract. René |
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06-16-2007, 09:33 AM
| #29 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Guangzhou China
Posts: 269
| Smile
Do you know that feeling: Walking on the street, looking a person in the eye, give a smile and............. RECEIVE A SMILE BACK! It feels so good to make people, children smile! I feel soo important at those occassions, untill........... Last week, I was waiting on my plane home, after a business deal gone bad. Deeply thinking about that, somebody's eyes met mine, a smile came my way, and I automaticly smiled back. It felt like somebody was doing the same to me, making a person .............................
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08-14-2007, 11:58 PM
| #30 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 112
| Our perspective on what is significant changes
Great question and one I've asked myself continuously over the past couple of years. Interestingly, I've always needed to feel valued. When I was younger, praise and promotions on the job made me felt significant. As I grow older and obtain more experience under my belt, I feel significant when I can positively influence others. Little things such as encouraging words, a compliment to make a person feel good about him/herself, or knowing that my kids are passing on the positive things I taught to them is wonderful. I'm sure as I continue to learn and grow my perspective will shift again. However, I can honestly say that my focus has shifted from doing for myself to helping others. Kim personal growth and inspiration |
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