Decision making

[vick]

This is my first post,but i think this forum has been very uplifting .My question is there are some BIG decisions which are very hard in life.HOW TO MAKE A BIG DECISION IN LIFE?

[Shamou]

Hello vick… and welcome aboard…

Decision making has everything to do with personal values… or with what your priorities in life are…

Let me give you an example… if one of your top value was “personal safety” and someone invites you to try parachute jumping… I believe that the answer would be a resounding no… however if one of your top value was “living life to the fullest… and having exciting experiences” you would gladly say yes…

So, the first thing that you must do before taking a decision is to define your “personal values” or “personal priorities”… once you have done that…you do not have to take another decision for as long as you live… you will know exactly what you want and what you do not want… and you will act accordingly…

If that is not clear… just say so… and I’ll try to explain it better…

.

[Peter S C]

I agree with Shamou.

There are certain "big decisions" in life that everyone faces. Sometimes there is a "right" and "wrong" choice, but most of the time it is not this black and white. Ultimately it comes back to you and your values.

Vic if you haven't found them already, Steve has written some great articles here on living your values. To quote Steve: "The main benefit of knowing your values is that you will gain tremendous clarity and focus, but ultimately you must use that newfound clarity to make consistent decisions and take committed action."

Living Your Values Part 1
Living Your Values Part 2

Best of luck and welcome to the boards.

Peter

[RT Wolf]

Don't forget to factor in emotions. Too many people make hte mistake of thinking with their heads and ignorign their hearts. Check with your heart, too, for it will define your present moment experience of life.

You might aks yourself, which reality would I like to experience out of these two (or however) many options?

[InJoy]

Great advice all around. RTWolf's mention of emotions really resonated with me. One thing I do if I'm faced with a decision that doesn't have an easy answer is I flip a coin and pretend that this will decide the outcome. Then, once the decision is "made" by the coin, I digest it as though that was what I was going to do. Then I check my body. How do I feel? Am I sorry the coin flipped the way it did? Does anything hurt? Does deciding the opposite make the hurt go away?

Lots of times, I'll try the other decision on for size the same way just to be thorough. In fact, you don't really even need a coin unless you are so indecisive about this that you can't decide which one to try first!

Hope that helps!

[Shamou]

Things to watch when making decisions…

1. Make sure that we don’t solve a short term problem that will create a bigger problem down the line…

2. If at all possible… don’t make any decision while angry…

3. Make certain that decisions are only influenced by honorable emotions…

4. Seek counsel from experts in the subject matter…

5. Weigh the pros and cons…

6. Ask oneself what our favorite mentor would do if he was presently in our shoes…

7. Sleep on it…

8. Write down the possible outcome of taking that decision…

9. Ask the universal intelligence to provide and alternative solution when the decision would become a non decision…

10. If all these fail… flip a coin…

.

[vick]

Appreciate a lot for your comments-:I use to follow technique by Dale Carnegie
I used to write on a paper any problem or worry as a challange-
What is the challange?
What is the cause of the challange?
What are all possible solutions?We cal always ask other people what they think if they were in my shoes.
What is the best solution?
Take action.
What told by you guys is also perfect.
If any one has some more opinions ,pl do share.