Slow and Steady

[VinceG]

I've started to isolate a trend in my life. Anytime I want something, and I try to get it quickly, I typically fail. But, I'll learn something from the failure, then try to do it in a slower, steadier fashion, I'll find a lot more success. Everything I've ever tried or done has worked this way.

Meditation, rather than doing it two, or three hours at a time, once or twice a week, I snatch little bits of it everywhere. I started doing this eight years ago, when I experimented with moving meditation.

Love, relationships and sex, I tried the pickup route and it never worked. Slowly getting to know a few women at a time, I now know none of the problems most men complain about.

Money, rather than treating my clients as ATM machines, I put real work in all my work relationships. It's slower, yet I'll never have to worry about where my next meal going to come from.

Spirituality, rather than frustrating myself by ceaselessly praying and begging God to talk to me and trying to make deals with Him, I just relax, watch the reality He puts in front of me, and let Him talk to me in the manner of His choosing. A far slower method of getting to know God, but far more sure-footed.

Minimalism, rather than throwing away everything but the clothes on my back, I relax and examine what I can get rid of and what I can keep regularly, slowly dialing back my worldly footprint. As a result, I'm very comfortable living out of a small backpack.

Joyful living, rather than demanding each moment to be interesting and unique, putting myself through a cycle of happy/sad/happy/sad, I just recognize when I'm not as joyful as I should be and try to gently ease myself into a higher state. There's no more sad states for me anymore.

Finding my life's purpose, rather than spending a weekend every six months agonizing over who I am, what my purpose is, when I'm ever going to get to it, I just look for clues all the time, and if I get frustrated, just remember that there are people much older than me who still haven't figured it all out yet. Yet I have a much better idea of who I am and what I live for than I think most 28 year olds have.

Travel, rather than taking a huge 2 year long round the world trip, I take smaller, shorter trips, and take careful notes as to what I want out of those trips and how to do it better next time.

Slowly building my life in this manner is very Earth-like, to use the elemental logic I'm so fond of. I've created so much abundance and love and happiness that I find myself short of ways to share it with others. I've posted before about the merits of Air, I'd say that while my strategy is Earthy, my tactics are Airy.

I try carefully to lay each brick, each new skill, each epiphany, each new relationship, upon one of my other bricks, to create a nice solid structure. I do this simultaneously while slowly cultivating a sense of oneness with the world, and slowly stripping away aspects of my identity.

It's like I'm paying the mortgage on a house. 20 or 30 years, I'm slowly working away, and the house of my skills, understandings, relationships takes form. My identity, the part that wants the house to be right there, right now goddammit, is the principal, and as the house is built, the mortgage gets paid off, and my identity can just slowly relax and not demand my attentions so much.

It's not a physical house, but I don't want a physical anchor. I want to move through the world. In doing that, I don't have to limit its growth. I expect by the time I'm thirty, my house will grow like a snowball, with many many new relationships, understandings, skills to rely on and explore. It won't just be a house, it'll be a castle.

What are you guys building?

[taylor]

I guess we're different because I tend to find the opposite for me. If I try to compromise and do things gradually, I tend to fail. For example I couldn't do an exercise program that had me exercising once a week, but I've easily done an exercise program that had me exercising over an hour a day.

I have a difficult time just changing my diet partially, like trying to eat more calories (I tend towards underweight). But I find it easy to go all out pig or full vegan.

It's like when I try to go half-way with something, there isn't a serious enough commitment. I underestimate how hard it is to change a habit even partially and I fail. Whereas if I know how hard it is to try polyphasic sleep I'll give it my full commitment and succeed. (I did that but started having sleep disorders and quit.)

I find taking extreme uncompromising positions makes it impossible to cheat. But if I give myself any leeway, then I will rationalize (lie) and compromise more and more until I give up. If I have a strict tough rule I don't let myself even start to talk myself out of it because that would be obviously disastrous. But if I have a lax easy rule, then I will listen to emotions and just not do it. Not doing something "just this once" turns into never.

With all that said, progress is impossible to make overnight, or in a week, or even a month usually. Real progress takes years of little improvements. Instead of focusing on the end goal, I am trying to focus on just taking right action today. Like my sig says all great things are made up of small things. It's the little habits we keep day in day out that eventually lead to cool results.

[Clint Cora]

A lack of patience is one of the biggest problems out there. That's why in part, so many people especially in the western world, can't lose weight. Or they fall to the quick get rich schemes. We should learn from those who have been super successful - the progression takes time.

[shaunrosenberg]

I'm a big believer of the slow and steady race. There are so many "get rich quick" or "get thin quick" scams out there, but it is all really a lifestyle change. It's all or nothing.

Good health, good finances, and good relationships are all the result of constant effort to a single goal.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by taylor

I guess we're different because I tend to find the opposite for me. If I try to compromise and do things gradually, I tend to fail. For example I couldn't do an exercise program that had me exercising once a week, but I've easily done an exercise program that had me exercising over an hour a day.

I never liked "exercise." I can't stand the thought of doing a bunch of hard work just out of a desire to keep 'fit'. I'm not a fricken wind-up doll. But I do love moving around and getting places under my own power instead of burning a bunch of gas to move two thousand pounds of metal and me to get there. So I bike or walk everywhere when feasible. I'm trying to cultivate a joy of running, and I have these huarache sandals that I made myself (I got the kit from invisibleshoe.com if you're interested) to run in.

I have a difficult time just changing my diet partially, like trying to eat more calories (I tend towards underweight). But I find it easy to go all out pig or full vegan.

Oh god, spare me the pain of trying to change my diet all at once. It took me years before I could get Tim Ferriss' slow carb diet pure enough to really lose weight with. Though I didn't do too badly the other times I went on it, it was only after I got the Four Hour Body that I was able to tweak it so that it worked both with my lifestyle and as a diet. I'm not on it now, though.

It's like when I try to go half-way with something, there isn't a serious enough commitment. I underestimate how hard it is to change a habit even partially and I fail. Whereas if I know how hard it is to try polyphasic sleep I'll give it my full commitment and succeed. (I did that but started having sleep disorders and quit.)

I've learned to work with half-hearted commitments by turning up my awareness. I might only be strict one day out of seven on something, but I'll be honest with myself and ask whether I really want to keep doing it. If not, I'll find something else to do. But I'll still have learned something from the deal.