discipline

[BellyGirl]

Discipline is something I struggle with.

I write in my diary.... " I must (do this)" and "I must (do that)"

Like the new year resolution, some stuff just never get done.

I do put down quarterly objectives. Some stuff just never happen while some objectives do get met.

The stuff that never happen, tends to be related to discipline.

eg. I have never been able to set down daily dance routines. Except when I have concert performances coming up.

i do have some "small" wins. E.g. I have been consistently eating fruit every day. It's been like that for 3 weeks.

i have almost consistently put aside 10 mins to tidy my room everyday, now my room is never again a pig sty. i believe this will affect my mood positively.

i look forward to the day when i can make discipline something that can impact my life in a big way. It would be cool if i can apply discipline to time maangement, or to gain mastery in something in my life. so far tht has not happened.

I'm what some people call a "free spirit". Maybe i belong to the forest as a ranger, or a gardener but in the modern city world, i can never get anywhere without a good discipline, without an organised life.

People tell me, "why get a job? Become an entrepreuner !! Or work free lance!"

Easy to say, without self discipline, i can't get anything done.

I am still struggling. Been struggling for 2 years now. Still struggling. I tell myself "I must", and then I tried with renewed enthusiasm and then i fail.

Am I being too hard on myself? Or i need to be patient to myself and to develop discipline at my own pace?

[Lioness]

Here's Steve's series on the subject if you haven't read it. Self-Discipline
Tiptoe through the archives for related articles too.

My advice: Baby steps.

Thinking "I must" tends to backfire. It's too dictatorial, prompts the rebellion of your inner 2-year old and you beat yourself up when you fail. Frame things more positively: I choose to, I can, I intend to, doing x will have benefit y, etc.

Think of your to-do list as list of positive intentions rather than absolute have-tos. As you said, some will get done, some won't. You will improve by keeping at it, forgiving yourself and moving on.

One technique that has worked for me is the toothbrush method. We don't agonize or procrastinate over brushing our teeth every day. We just do it by rote, neither enjoying it, nor hating it. When you have a task that needs doing, stop, get up and do it. Don't give yourself time to rationalize why you can do it later. Become robotic and remove all emotion from the task, as you would brushing your teeth. Turn off your brain chatter and start moving.

Another thing I do is make a game of it. I made a daily chart, assigning points to various activities. Trying to build up points can be kind of fun.

I would also suggest creating a vision board. This links your mundane activities to your passion(s) and helps maintain motivation.

[The Cloud]

I think you may be putting the cart before the horse. In this metaphor, the cart is discipline and the horse is enjoyment. You're trying to use the cart to pull the horse, but carts don't provide any energy. The horse is where the energy for movement comes from.

Furthermore, a horse has meaning without a cart, but a cart has no meaning without a horse. So maybe you should look first for a source of energy within yourself before deciding how you're going to use it. Discipline alone creates nothing.

[apsinvo]

I'm suffering a similar issue..

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I think you may be putting the cart before the horse. In this metaphor, the cart is discipline and the horse is enjoyment. You're trying to use the cart to pull the horse, but carts don't provide any energy. The horse is where the energy for movement comes from.

Furthermore, a horse has meaning without a cart, but a cart has no meaning without a horse. So maybe you should look first for a source of energy within yourself before deciding how you're going to use it. Discipline alone creates nothing.

This resounds perfectly with me - although I always felt that discipline conserves and provides energy. If it's the other way round, where should this energy come from?

[Lioness]

Like I was saying about the vision board, I think your goals and passions provide the energy/inspiration, but good old-fashioned, unglamorous discipline is the muscle needed to accomplish at least some of the steps towards those goals/passions.

I disagree, though, that discipline alone creates nothing. Even if you have no particular goal or passion, discipline can build habits that will serve well no matter what you do, and give one a sense of accomplishment.

For example, getting up early, exercising, eating heathily, studying. learning, working at anything, saving money, cleaning, helping someone when you don't feel like it, or just to be the best you can be as a human. I think there is value in that.

[Robou]

Originally Posted by Lioness

Like I was saying about the vision board, I think your goals and passions provide the energy/inspiration, but good old-fashioned, unglamorous discipline is the muscle needed to accomplish at least some of the steps towards those goals/passions.

I disagree, though, that discipline alone creates nothing. Even if you have no particular goal or passion, discipline can build habits that will serve well no matter what you do, and give one a sense of accomplishment.

For example, getting up early, exercising, eating heathily, studying. learning, working at anything, saving money, cleaning, helping someone when you don't feel like it, or just to be the best you can be as a human. I think there is value in that.

I agree with you 100% lioness and I also very much disagree that discipline alone creates nothing. You don't necessarily need a goal or a passion to reap the rewards of being disciplined. There can be much personal value in the things that you mentioned like getting up early, leading a healthy lifestyle, doing the dishes every day, learning anything or just plain trying to be the best you can be everyday..... these seemingly small daily disciplines are a jumping off point for realizing your ability for much greater self discipline when you really want / need it.

[nzmegs]

When I was weaning my children I knew that it took 20-30 tastes of something before they would learn to like it. This is why a 30 day challenge works so well. The change has a chance t become ingrained.

However you need a very good reason to do these things. Just saying you want to or should isn't really good enough. If you want to eat more healthy don't just write in your diary "I must eat better food" write down why. "becaause I want to be slimmer" "because I need to be healthier" "becuase I don't want diabetes ". Basically the more hardcore and relevant to you the reasons are, the more lkely you are to stick to your plans.

[rodav]

Continue taking those small steps. Build on them, but don't get stuck on taking small steps only. Progress into something a little bit harder to do, and the next harder thing to do. Find a compelling purpose why you want to be involved in something, it is the purpose that will make you stick with something

[ZenPhysicist]

these seemingly small daily disciplines are a jumping off point for realizing your ability for much greater self discipline when you really want / need it.

and

Continue taking those small steps. Build on them, but don't get stuck on taking small steps only. Progress into something a little bit harder to do, and the next harder thing to do. Find a compelling purpose why you want to be involved in something, it is the purpose that will make you stick with something

These 2 quotes sum it all up. I believe in this to the extent that I am actually developing a system around it. It is working in my life as we speak.

[Clint Cora]

I think it's great that you recognize the importance of discipline with success. All successful people are disciplined because they have to turn tasks to habits in order to achieve success. One of the ways we always suggest parents to get their kids disciplined is to enroll them in martial arts. It takes work to progress up the levels but at the same time, kids must learn to respect the instructors. All of this improves the discipline level in the kids.

Looks like you need to pursue some type of activities whether it be martial arts or any other venue which will almost force you to be more disciplined. This would be a great benefit to you for other areas of your life.

[Fendaril]

Originally Posted by Clint Cora

I think it's great that you recognize the importance of discipline with success. All successful people are disciplined because they have to turn tasks to habits in order to achieve success. One of the ways we always suggest parents to get their kids disciplined is to enroll them in martial arts. It takes work to progress up the levels but at the same time, kids must learn to respect the instructors. All of this improves the discipline level in the kids.

Looks like you need to pursue some type of activities whether it be martial arts or any other venue which will almost force you to be more disciplined. This would be a great benefit to you for other areas of your life.

Doesn't it take discipline to not get beat up during sparring matches? like training for an hour on your own everyday?

Isn't it like irony? You need discipline to develop what you don't have.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by apsinvo

This resounds perfectly with me - although I always felt that discipline conserves and provides energy. If it's the other way round, where should this energy come from?

I couldn't say, exactly. However, I don't think it's found by enacting discipline and then searching for a way to support it. I believe the process works more in the other direction, where you find a wellspring of energy and then direct it toward the uses for which is it suited via discipline. I think that the energy has an inherent value to our personal experience even without discipline to guide it, just as a horse has value even when it's running free, whereas the cart has no value without the horse to move it.

Originally Posted by Lioness

I disagree, though, that discipline alone creates nothing. Even if you have no particular goal or passion, discipline can build habits that will serve well no matter what you do, and give one a sense of accomplishment.

In the majority of cases, efforts to build or change habits fail. They don't fail because they were impracticable, they fail because the person ran out of mental energy to continue dieting or cleaning or getting up early. The idea of discipline is useless without the energy to apply it.

[Clint Cora]

Originally Posted by Fendaril

Doesn't it take discipline to not get beat up during sparring matches? like training for an hour on your own everyday?

Isn't it like irony? You need discipline to develop what you don't have.

That's the way it is and it works. And the kids don't get beat up. They have a great time.

[Robou]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I couldn't say, exactly. However, I don't think it's found by enacting discipline and then searching for a way to support it. I believe the process works more in the other direction, where you find a wellspring of energy and then direct it toward the uses for which is it suited via discipline. I think that the energy has an inherent value to our personal experience even without discipline to guide it, just as a horse has value even when it's running free, whereas the cart has no value without the horse to move it.



In the majority of cases, efforts to build or change habits fail. They don't fail because they were impracticable, they fail because the person ran out of mental energy to continue dieting or cleaning or getting up early. The idea of discipline is useless without the energy to apply it.

People have exhibited extraordinary self discipline in circumstances where they barely have any life left in their bodies much less what one would call mental energy....self discipline isn't reserved for those with the perfect circumstances to support it , it's attainable to anyone anywhere to any extent that they WANT and are willing to work for it in their lives from the little unglamorous things like cleaning your house to the bigger things like attaining a degree or starting your own business.

[Lauxa]

Discipline your mind and your body will follow.

Being hard on yourself and struggling are ineffective uses of your mental energy. Just keep your mind focused on the life you love to create and your actions will flow towards supporting that vision.