How do I learn to enjoy facing challenges?

[Verlan]

Sometimes I notice myself feeling annoyed and frustrated at things that are difficult... how do I learn to enjoy facing challenges?

[spacecadetglow]

It depends on the kind of challenge you're taking on. If you're not enjoying it, it sounds like maybe you're trying too hard and should take a break. Could you be more specific?

[Verlan]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

It depends on the kind of challenge you're taking on. If you're not enjoying it, it sounds like maybe you're trying too hard and should take a break. Could you be more specific?

Now that I think about it, I don't mind being being challenged, but I do mind difficulty.
Basically, any time I encounter the feeling of difficulty, I feel annoyance and frustration.

That happens quite often, too - many times a day, before starting an activity that requires any effort (even everyday things like cooking and doing laundry), I get the feeling of difficulty and resistance, resulting in annoyance and frustration. I can push through that, and once I've started with the activity it's usually fine, but I'd rather not feel that at all.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by Verlan

Now that I think about it, I don't mind being being challenged, but I do mind difficulty.
Basically, any time I encounter the feeling of difficulty, I feel annoyance and frustration.

That happens quite often, too - many times a day, before starting an activity that requires any effort (even everyday things like cooking and doing laundry), I get the feeling of difficulty and resistance, resulting in annoyance and frustration. I can push through that, and once I've started with the activity it's usually fine, but I'd rather not feel that at all.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It's that resistance that keeps me being lazy and then feeling guilty about feeling lazy, and then feeling sorry for myself that I feel guilty. lol.

I think once you get into the swing of achieving goals and taking care of business, that just becomes your routine and you don't have to think about it so much. I think you pass a certain threshold where you don't feel resistance because you're just living your routine, and you know that accomplishing tasks leaves you satisfied, so that feeling is worth the initial resistance. That's how it's been for me. How old are you, out of curiosity?

[SatvikBeri]

There are a few mental tricks you can do to get past resistance. Eben Pagan details these quite well in Wake Up Productive. The basic idea is that there are different parts of your brain that are in conflict, and that creates resistance which tires you out even if you don't do anything.

Once you get to the "Aha!" point where you realize you don't *have* to do anything, and you can clearly feel the connection between anything you do and what you *want* to do, it's quite wonderful!

[Verlan]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It's that resistance that keeps me being lazy and then feeling guilty about feeling lazy, and then feeling sorry for myself that I feel guilty. lol.

I think once you get into the swing of achieving goals and taking care of business, that just becomes your routine and you don't have to think about it so much. I think you pass a certain threshold where you don't feel resistance because you're just living your routine, and you know that accomplishing tasks leaves you satisfied, so that feeling is worth the initial resistance. That's how it's been for me. How old are you, out of curiosity?

Thanks, it feels good that you can relate to that :/ I've experienced my share of what you are describing - now I've gotten to the point where I know how to bypass the resistance to doing things, and do them anyway.

Still, part of me isn't satisfied, and expects me to be able to do things effortlessly, without any resistance at all. Especially things that seem "trivial" to me (like doing laundry) - it just doesn't suit my self-image that there should be any difficulty in doing them.
I'll keep working on that, I guess

Oh, and I'm 22.

Originally Posted by SatvikBeri

There are a few mental tricks you can do to get past resistance. Eben Pagan details these quite well in Wake Up Productive. The basic idea is that there are different parts of your brain that are in conflict, and that creates resistance which tires you out even if you don't do anything.

Once you get to the "Aha!" point where you realize you don't *have* to do anything, and you can clearly feel the connection between anything you do and what you *want* to do, it's quite wonderful!

Thanks! It sounds promising

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by Verlan

Thanks, it feels good that you can relate to that :/ I've experienced my share of what you are describing - now I've gotten to the point where I know how to bypass the resistance to doing things, and do them anyway.

Still, part of me isn't satisfied, and expects me to be able to do things effortlessly, without any resistance at all. Especially things that seem "trivial" to me (like doing laundry) - it just doesn't suit my self-image that there should be any difficulty in doing them.
I'll keep working on that, I guess

Oh, and I'm 22.

I thought you might be close to my age. I'm 23.

We're in the transitional zone right now. Definitely not kids anymore, but not entirely grown up, either. I struggle a lot with daily chores/life maintenance stuff, too, you are not alone. And it's funny you mention laundry in particular, because right now I have a load that's sitting in the dryer now and a load that's still in the washer from yesterday. Oops.

It's hard to stay on top of everything! But I really feel like there's no magic bullet to get you to jump out of your chair and say "yay! laundry!" (or maybe there is, you might want to talk with one of our resident NLP gurus like Angela ). For me it's a matter of pushing past the resistance, and knowing how good it feels to have my ♥♥♥♥♥ together. If you can develop a certain momentum with it, it ceases to feel like effort.

[Gemmacat]

Maybe it's not really a challenge, maybe it's just a troublesome activity that you don't really want to do? I always took challenge to mean something new and threatening that sort of gets you anxious etc.

A math problem is not a challenge for me, because there isn't anything threatening about it, it's just not an activity I enjoy It's just something I have to do. So, maybe it's not difficult, it's just difficult because you don't enjoy it, but you still have to do it.

I don't think there is a way to TRULY enjoy doing everything to be honest I guess if you're a generally happy person you won't mind doing it though, so focus on that, is my advice

[Brenton Russell]

Check out the recent post 'How To Achieve Stretch Goals' written by Steve Pavlina on his actual blog.

His thoughts on Vibrational Alignment are fascinating and may have some relevance for your current situation regarding your feelings of annoyance and frustration when encountering challenges.

[Verlan]

Thanks, guys - it helped me to discuss this and get some advice

I realize than enjoying every part of life is probably impossible - nevertheless it's important to me that I do my best to do that. What's really helped me in the last few days is seeing difficulty and challenge as something positive and welcome in my life - it makes me stronger and prepares me for further challenges.
This makes it much easier for me to enjoy tedious tasks, even if it's doing laundry

Once again - thanks for all the advice, and the kind words

[martha]

How can you do it?

1. Set aside a sizable block of time to focus on a particular problem, rather than attending to it in scattered sessions.
2. Work out a plan for attacking the problem.
3. Establish subgoals: solve part of the problem and go on from there. You don’t have to do everything at once.
4. Write out your thoughts. This allows you to capture important points and to come back to them later. It also allows you to look for patterns.
5. Think of a similar problem you’ve solved in the past and build on the strategy you used then.
6. Use analogies whenever possible. See whether you can generalize from a situation similar to your current problem.
7. Trust your intuition. Take a guess and see whether you can back it up.
8. Play with ideas and possible approaches. Try looking at the same situation in a number of different ways.