My worst interview everrrr.. I bombed that interview

[Slightedge]

Hey world, I just came from a job interview to work for a technical school where the position would be helping students look for work because that was my background. When the company I worked for closed in 09, I decided to take time off to travel.. So today was the second time I interviewed for a similar type position..

I don't know why I was nervous when I have the experience..


The interviewer was a strong/tough/direct/intimidating woman.. I usually have shy'd away from personalities like that but as you can see, it's now backfiring. I do not know how to deal with that type. It's costing me. I thought I've changed due to reading Personal/Self Help stuff and I thought I could handle it but as soon as she said "are you nervous?" game overrrrrrrr. I'll get my confidence back.. I figure I had to go thru this to learn from it.. I keep asking "did I learn something?" Yes, I did and to do something about it.

[Anthoneee]

What makes one personality stronger than another?

[Slightedge]

A horrible job interview is a horrible experience, ranking somewhere between a car accident and a root canal. Actually, I prefer the root canal--they give you painkillers.

[1by1]

At least you have learned something from the experience. Personally I hate interviews, its all about one person dangling the carrot you want just out of reach. I always prefer to do the thing I want to do and make them come running to me!

[Harald]

Congrats on the great learning experience! I've had a few of those too - and I'm glad I did!

[Slightedge]

I learned something.. I get nervous dealing with that type of personality because when I was growing up in Manila, I was raised by nuns at school. And they were tough, rude, and direct.. I didn't like it..Every time I did something bad, I would get taunted then be hit by a stick in front of class. From then on I just wanted to impress them for me not to get hit and taunted again.. This goes for my mom as she does the same..

Now I take responsibility for it and not blaming.. I don't want to play the victim mentality but I should take some responsibility for how I feel and for what had happened. I guess I didn't realize it till last night that I hadn't really moved on..

[scotthegeek]

the last job interview was for stocking shelves and it was like 3 interview to get it.

there was a phone interview. I group interview and then a final interview with floor manager.

there are workshop where you practice interview. There world has change a lot it seem like you have to jump through a lot of hoops to get the most basic job.

Scott

[Slightedge]

Worst interview ever.. I know it, they know it but should I even send a thank you letter? I don't want to feel like I'm sucking up and that I'm supplicating right? I write them but this is a unique situation..


Thoughts?

[faithsdaddy]

I wouldn't send a thank you letter. It does sound like the nun experience has stayed with you, but to be honest, I'm not sure such strong experiences really go. They just become less significant in their effects and how we are because of it.

Would you have wanted to work with this lady, if she's such a bit(h anyway?

[Auberjeng]

Hmm... a story for you: I had an interview I thought went terrible - I was sweating buckets, answered half the technical questions wrong, and generally came off like a nervous, gibbering fool, but I followed through with the thank yous and whatnot. Turns out, I got the job, and they were (bafflingly) impressed with the interview! I'm starting to think maybe everyone just sucks at interviews. Also - many interviewers are nervous because they're trying to prove their company's worth to YOU - it's somewhat 2-way.

So... Are you sure it seemed as bad to her as it did to you? I mean, did you get a rejection right there? Would you even be working with the interviewer once hired? And would it bother you any to go ahead and write the thank you notes? (Not sarcastic - if it stresses you or taxes your time and you think it's a total waste, then save your sanity.) I'm assuming you actually liked the vibe of the company itself, and even if not, a polite rejection from you could prevent burning a bridge.

Good luck in your job search.

[AngelPsychic444]

Next time you go to an interview you might want to say this outloud before you actually sit down. "I request the most benevolent outcome for a very successful inteview and and please help me feel relaxed and at ease and also impress the interviewer with fact that I'm the guy for the job!.... thank you"

I have a thread going on requesting help from your guardian angel for practical everyday things. This could be a big boost for your job seach.


The Gentle Way: requesting most benevolent outcomes

[Slightedge]

Originally Posted by faithsdaddy

I wouldn't send a thank you letter. It does sound like the nun experience has stayed with you, but to be honest, I'm not sure such strong experiences really go. They just become less significant in their effects and how we are because of it.

Would you have wanted to work with this lady, if she's such a bit(h anyway?

Faithsdaddy, I wouldn't say she's a bit(h. I mean in the past I've confused that with a person who is direct and honest.. I mean she wouldn't be in that position where people work for her and getting paid the big bucks if she was a real bit(h.. She's a strong business woman. I wish I could be more like that because I'm tired of being the humble nice guy.. I really am.. I'm not going to change my personality but I don't know how to make proper adjustments yet. That lady reminds me of Donald Trump. He's not a bad guy but honest and direct.

The references i'm seeing here is there's no value in being a nice guy in business. . I know it's horrible but this is L.A and it's just the way I see it here.

[Slightedge]

Thanks.. The intention was to interview so I could practice and get my feet wet again.. But I didn't know I was going to be a nervous wreck.. I was actually relaxed when I got there but as soon as I felt being interrogated, I got nervous.. Interviews are a form of interrogation isn't it l.o.l.

I wrote a thank you note.. because I want to take that action on my part.. But I'm not even sure.. I'm going with Faithdaddy and not send it.


here's a brief conversation of what happened.
For Example:

Woman: "are you nervous"
Me: "it's just very warm outside" (getting more nervous here because she said the N freakin word.. That was the trigger right there.. a total state change)..

then later on the interview

WOman: "when can you start and are there any plans that you made between now and the first of FEb?"

Woman: "I really need someone by the 24th."
Me: "I'm still waiting for other offers that I had interviewed last week"
Woman: "wait wait wait, your telling me that, blah blah blah"

Ok, I know I know it was a mistake on my part.. I should of just said, I can start on the 24th and I have no prior engagements.. I just blew 42K a year.


WOman: "your really blowing it"
Me: saying it in my head "gee ya THINKKKKK?"

from then on I just wanted to search for the eject button.. Where is the eject button?

After the interview -

Me: "can I get your business card?"
Woman: "I'll bet you'll remember this interview"
Me: saying it in my head "Where is the eject button?"
WOman: "I could tell your a humble guy"
Me: saying it in my head "did you just call me a nice guy?" "thank you, I have my moments" SMILE.

Originally Posted by Auberjeng

Hmm... a story for you: I had an interview I thought went terrible - I was sweating buckets, answered half the technical questions wrong, and generally came off like a nervous, gibbering fool, but I followed through with the thank yous and whatnot. Turns out, I got the job, and they were (bafflingly) impressed with the interview! I'm starting to think maybe everyone just sucks at interviews. Also - many interviewers are nervous because they're trying to prove their company's worth to YOU - it's somewhat 2-way.

So... Are you sure it seemed as bad to her as it did to you? I mean, did you get a rejection right there? Would you even be working with the interviewer once hired? And would it bother you any to go ahead and write the thank you notes? (Not sarcastic - if it stresses you or taxes your time and you think it's a total waste, then save your sanity.) I'm assuming you actually liked the vibe of the company itself, and even if not, a polite rejection from you could prevent burning a bridge.

Good luck in your job search.

[Slightedge]

Originally Posted by AngelPsychic444

Next time you go to an interview you might want to say this outloud before you actually sit down. "I request the most benevolent outcome for a very successful inteview and and please help me feel relaxed and at ease and also impress the interviewer with fact that I'm the guy for the job!.... thank you"

I have a thread going on requesting help from your guardian angel for practical everyday things. This could be a big boost for your job seach.


The Gentle Way: requesting most benevolent outcomes

thanks Angel, I will certainly do this on my next interview. I do a form of Ho Oponopono which is a mantra I do "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" and say it over and over and over asking the divine for cleanliness. Ofcourse I didn't even do that yesterday or some sort of NLP work.

But I will do that because I believe in angels.

[AngelPsychic444]

Originally Posted by Slightedge

thanks Angel, I will certainly do this on my next interview. I do a form of Ho Oponopono which is a mantra I do "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" and say it over and over and over asking the divine for cleanliness. Ofcourse I didn't even do that yesterday or some sort of NLP work.

But I will do that because I believe in angels.

Hey great! Let me see if I can come up with a few more indeas for finding that great job for you. How about saying "I request the most benevolent outcome for having the perfect, dream job come to me.... that pays well, and also manifests quickly and may this outcome be even better than I could hope for or expect....thank you".

[Auberjeng]

I don't know how to realistically handle a situation where someone with power over you is overstepping some boundaries, as it seems that she did several times from your description. Something I'm trying to discover myself. She did make the rejection pretty clear, so I agree with your assessment on just skipping sending the thank you note. And your post-interview introspection is a great step. At least you now have the experience of an awful interview. Unless the next interviewer tries to light you on fire, it can't get much worse, and you now have some practice.

Questions on what you wrote earlier... Do you think being a humble, nice person is at odds with being honest and direct? Can you think of ways to become successful and powerful without losing the good characteristics of your personality? Last, do you think it might be helpful for your nervousness to remember that the interviewer is on the stand too, that it is their half of the job to make you comfortable, encourage real dialogue, and attract you to the company? Because it sounds to me like the other half of the story, is this interviewer had a chance to fill a position with an insightful hard-worker... and she really blew it.

[spacecadetglow]

Hey, sorry about the interview, we've all been there.

Next time, don't let the interviewer have so much power over you! Don't let them intimidate you. Just act completely normal and unreactive, because really, it's funny to see people caught up in a power trip, which it sounds like she was. In other words, don't take people's games seriously. If you refuse to play the game, they have no control over you whatsoever.

[Slightedge]

:-)

[Slightedge]

THis is weird but I had my 2nd interview with that firm.. The Regional Manager called me up and did a phone interview just a few minutes ago.. This time was different.. I had more mojo.. I prepared, I thought from the end of what I wanted to happen(NLP), I changed my physiology(NLP again), I did Angels(member of this board) prayer asst, and I did some EFT on worry.. I can't believe I was being myself.. I felt that and I actually knew it.

Thank you guys for setting me straight the other day.. You guys are the best..

The position? it's helping these Criminal and Justice graduates from a Technical university to assist them with jobs. How? Bringing in new big Employers that will hire them.. This means a lot of networking, cold calling/warm calling, going out in the field. I enjoy dealing with the candidates but bringing in new business? I never really done it before and now I'm .... What's the best way to look at this? It's an opportunity I know but will I enjoy it? I have some bad beliefs about selling.. Look at me, I haven't even gotten it and here I am worried again.. jeeesshhhh l.o.l.. Get over myself l.o.l..


I have to clear out my beliefs on "I hate Quota's" "I hate cold/warm calling" etc.



Thanks to all of you for setting me straight..

[Mato Kinze]

Interesting to read others' perspectives on the whole interview issue.

I'm an HR Professional and have been for almost 20 years. A good portion of that experience has had some sort of connection with the recruiting process and a good portion of that has been actually conducting interviews.

It has always been my first goal to set the interviewee at ease. Ultimately, my job is to put the best person in that job I can. To do that, I need to really understand who that person is. I can't do that unless the person is being as much themselves as it's possible to be in such situations - which means they have to be comfortable.

Sounds to me like the person who was conducting the interview didn't understand that fairly basic concept.

I would still send the thank you. It's been my experience that those things are only important in their absence and then negatively so. Who knows, you may have been far more impressive than you think you were.

[brendannz]

Sounds like there was a personality clash at the interview (as well as you being nervous) and this problem would have come up in the job as well, so don't worry too much..

As well, with the nervousness thing, I get this problem as well, and I always find if I go into the interview with the intention of saying what I want to say, with no attachment to outcome, I'm less nervous.

Overall, I still, probably suck at interviews, but it's important to view it as a 2 way street.. It's still nerve-racking

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Slightedge

A horrible job interview is a horrible experience, ranking somewhere between a car accident and a root canal. Actually, I prefer the root canal--they give you painkillers.

I think that's just your anxiety making it seems worse than a car accident and root canal.

It's probably not as big as you make it out to be in your head

[Aryeh Enoch]

I totally feel for you. While I'm still a teen in high school and I haven't had an interview for a quote on quote, actual job, I've had my fair share of experiences like this. Sometimes you just see yourself saying the wrong things, coming off as a totally different person then you really are, expressing things you've never even thought of before.

All you can do is make the best of situations. You have no reason to dwell on the past. Make the most of this failed interviewed. Keep in contact with the woman you interviewed, e-mail her frequently. You have stood out to her. Whether or not it was in a positive light is besides the point. Most interviewees are cookie-cutter. Keep in contact. Sometimes good things come out of the bad.

[Slightedge]

YOu won't believe it.. I was offered the position a few minutes ago and I start Monday.. Unfreakingbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a new industry I'll be working in so I'm a bit excited and stressed... Maybe I just need a drink j.k..


That's like 4 days from now.. I thank this board for the guidance .. You don't even understand my gratitude.


Thanks again..

[Aryeh Enoch]

As I said, "Sometimes good things come out of the bad."

[Slightedge]

Originally Posted by Aryeh Enoch

As I said, "Sometimes good things come out of the bad."

Yeahhh, easier said than done but it is accurate l.o.l..

[Broderick]

That's awesome man! Congrats!

[ellie]

Congrats! Although If I had to work with the woman that interviewed you... I would be pissed.

She doesn't sound very proffesional.

I have had many bad interviews...gone through similar things as you...all to do with power.

Although I admit, I did ok (confidence wise) in the last interview I did, but far out it was such a waste of time. I spent 2 hours there, with them probing me, only for them to not even bother to ring me to say I had not gotten the job. Rude!

[aelle]

Hey, congratulations!

Originally Posted by Auberjeng

I don't know how to realistically handle a situation where someone with power over you is overstepping some boundaries, as it seems that she did several times from your description. .

I think a first step is reassessing whether they truly have power over you. When you go on a job interview, you're interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. You don't have to be passive or reactive - you can take the lead. You can choose to reclaim the lead at any time.

Originally Posted by ellie

She doesn't sound very proffesional.

I have had many bad interviews...gone through similar things as you...all to do with power.

It's not necessarily unprofessional, it can be done on purpose. I've had interview processes go like that where maybe 3 or 4 interviews feel like friendly conversations and one is deliberately initiated in bossy mode (I think I even had a guy call me "young lady", which made it hard for me not to burst in laughter). The goal is to see how you react with an uncooperative party - do you shut down, do you start to feel like a failure, do you get angry, or can you keep your cool and get the job done? People who are great at personal interactions can even meet someone who's looking for confrontation and seduce them back into cooperation on the spot.

I find that interview strategy a bit dumb because you blow a whole interview just to find out this one personality trait (although it is an important quality if your job requires a lot of personal interaction). But some interviewers seem to love it anyway. The best way I have found to deal with it is to step out of the conversation, watch it as an impartial observer and see it for the game it really is. When you can detach yourself from emotions and reactivity it's actually a fun process.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by Slightedge

Thanks.. The intention was to interview so I could practice and get my feet wet again.. But I didn't know I was going to be a nervous wreck.. I was actually relaxed when I got there but as soon as I felt being interrogated, I got nervous.. Interviews are a form of interrogation isn't it l.o.l.

You can reduce the nervousness to a great deal with better preparation. Most interview questions are kind of the same (and the examples below prove it). There are books and audiotapes on interview questions. Once you have read/heard them all and have at least prepared an answer mentally, you will be fine.
Another aspect of job hunting is if you are in the position of power or not. If you have options, and you know you are good at your job, you are actually interviewing your employer. During several of my interviews I felt that the employer was just as eager to leave a good impression as I was (those interviews were always with the boss himself/herself, not a HR person).

Originally Posted by Slightedge

here's a brief conversation of what happened.
For Example:

Woman: "are you nervous"
Me: "it's just very warm outside" (getting more nervous here because she said the N freakin word.. That was the trigger right there.. a total state change)..

What is wrong with that question? Seems like a pretty common ice-breaker question (same goes for at the beginning of oral exams). If you are nrevous, admit it, and don't try to hide that friggin' obvious elephant in the room with evasive answers.

In my job employers really need someone who can handle significant pressure in social situations. For example my current employer always makes a point of noting if the person he interviews is able to keep good eye contact during the interview.

WOman: "when can you start and are there any plans that you made between now and the first of FEb?"

Woman: "I really need someone by the 24th."
Me: "I'm still waiting for other offers that I had interviewed last week"
Woman: "wait wait wait, your telling me that, blah blah blah"

Again, the question and her reaction seem legit to me. Here you could have just said "yes, I can start ASAP" or "I have done interviews for several other jobs, and I agreed with all of them, that I would make my final decision next Friday"