Have you encounter people who think that Personal Development is B.S?

[alexyeo]

Well, the title says it all.

I am a firm believer that personal development will help me grow as a person and improve oneself. And yes, it did!

I am from Singapore, and many of my friends think that personal development is all B.S. Some even think that all those "motivational seminars" are scam. They have the mentality that these seminars are out to cheat people of their money and "brainwashing" them.

Many don't even read self-improvement books. They think its a waste of time. They think that self-confidence, public speaking skills, good memory etc are all in-born. Either you have it or don't. They don't believe that reading such books can improve their personal effectiveness or skills.

Have you encounter such people? And how do you response to them?

[soccer7]

yeah i tried this one on my friends, and we just ended up argueing for a while, then my friend didn't want to talk to me anymore saying that i was putting him down and personal development sources are just there to get money, he just wanted to stay safe at his work in some corner which he complains to me often about how tied and annoyed he gets from customer complaints, he says its for the experience, oh well, i guese it still good to get experience anyways.

after some times we talked again, i didn't want to say anymore about how i think personal development was for him seeing how he reacted to my suggestions, perhaps i said it the wrong way, and might have sounded like i put him down.

my urntie also told me that most of the stuff are just scams, i'm getting the secret dvd this friday, and i'm gona persuade them to watch it with me, perhaps it can help them in some way,

[Pyrllguru]

I have encountered many of them, of course primarily my family and friends. I guess I have just told myself that if I believe what I am trying to do and have faith in myself, that once I have achieved my goals - how can they argue?

[Jill]

Originally Posted by alexyeo

Some even think that all those "motivational seminars" are scam. They have the mentality that these seminars are out to cheat people of their money and "brainwashing" them.

Many (if not most) probably are.

[llong]

Have they ever improved themselves, at anything?

Saying PD is bs is simply dumb.

[pinkhighlighter]

I don't know of anyone who has said it is BS.
I certainly know a few people who should probably work on personal development. But those are the people who think they have all the answers. You know the kind?
And I also know a few people who just seem to have everything together. Now, for all I know they do do PD and just don't discuss it.

[Mark Lapierre]

I would tell them they don't understand what personal development is.

It's a process which started at birth, and continues until you die (or it may have started before you were born and continue after you die, but that invokes spirituality, which doesn't have to be included, and will most likely result in even more disdain from your friends). The only cost is the time and effort you put in. If you don't put in any effort, you don't get anywhere. The nurture vs. nature argument has been going on for ages, and, as with most age-old arguments, both sides are valid. Many people have proven that personal skills can be developed. I think it's sorrowful that anyone would believe that they're born with all the skills they'll ever have. That would mean no chance of improvement, and nothing new to learn. And it should be obvious to anyone that that's not the way life works.

On the other hand, the self-help books out there aren't free. And no doubt plenty of them, free or not, are almost worthless. But there's plenty of good free information available. As for whether or not some of it is a scam, we all have the ability to think for ourselves; we don't have to believe anything that anyone else tells us. I would say to them, do your own research, think for yourself, but don't choose to dismiss it all just because of a cynical attitude; otherwise you're dismissing an opportunity to be greater than you currently are. And if you don't believe you have that opportunity, you're deluding yourself far more effectively than any "self-help guru" could...

[RT Wolf]

The Effort Effect

That seems to be the real reason. They're making an excuse by saying its a money grabbing scheme. And to try would reveal that they don't have innate powers.

Singapore, eh? I've found the same belief to be rampant in South Asia.

BTW, about the money thing (even though its not even remotely the real issue), I've spent a total of probably around 30 bucks on my PD. I do, however, have 39 books out from the libary, although I dunno about the libary system in Singapore. The rest is from the interwebs.

PD has been one of the most worthwhile things I've done in my life. Ever.

I did get into an argument with a friend about PD. I eventually did persuade him to spend some time (no money) reading a book after I told him about my personal successes since I have gotten into PD. Getting jobs, happier, improved physicalness, everything. The personal stories are more convincing. Appeal to emotions, salesperson's motto.

I have a friend who thinks that Pavlina and the PD people in general are creepy. That they talk to her as if she's a broken machine. Which is fine, if she feels that way, there's no right or wrong answer. So I just let her be. It certainly has changed our relationship, but that just happens.

[Holistic Star]

I remember my mother throwing one of my PD books across the room when I was 15 screaming "It's no wonder you're so f*cked up reading this sh*t."


Let's just say it's been a journey overcoming that!

[wolfgang]

I took Steve's blog on self-help junkies in the tone of almost saying "PD is BS".

So, yeah, how to deal with people that put down efforts and even efforts that produce wandering or unfocused efforts, efforts to uncover goals and follow them. Maybe some people do jump from one PD topic to the next and aren't pursuing goals. But is that an addiction? Is someone saying PD is BS, also saying the same thing to you but in a different way?

[starlet]

I just smile and change the subject. I've gone from depressed-suicidal to the eternal optimist. If people I know cannot see that PD has completely turned my life around, then they seriously need glasses. I spend less and less time with them.

[CoachChar]

I know some people who immediately dismiss the idea of making deliberate changes or choosing audacious goals. They seem to feel that they are not meant to keep growing beyond childhood. Most of these people I know live some really harsh lives, but some of them seem at peace with scarcity, and struggle.

I know some people who set and achieve audacious goals, but engage in seemingly little meta-cognitive consideration about the way they spend their life and what it will ultimately amount to. So, they're very much into certain aspects of personal development such as optimal effectiveness and physical health, but seem to have less interest in the spiritual and metaphysical aspects and if asked would likely call certain things BS or say they don't believe.

[alexyeo]

From the reply of this thread, it seems that there are still many people in the world who are not exposed to Personal Development. As I mentioned before, some of friends think that personal development is B.S. But I don't blame them. Sometimes, they just need one defining moment where PD had helped them, and they will believed in improving oneself for life.

I was not exposed to PD straight from the start. In fact, it happened by chance when I picked up a book called "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind" by Dr. J Murphy. Those who are interested in my story can Click Here to know more.

Anyway, regardless of whether people think that PD is B.S., it is here to stay.

[free spirit]

I find that most people I talk to about PD are instantly defensive and threatened by the concept.

I suppose it's a natural defense for people who know they have so much more potential but have not yet started to engage it.

[Another Jen]

Personally I let them talk to me, if they don't want to talk about it that's fine. I'm comfortable with knowing the difference pd has made in my life and I have seen the amazing differences it has made in others but I'm not out to convert everyone to my way of thinking.

I'm actually finding more and more that as soon as people hear I work as a coach etc that they come and talk to me anyhow, which is great for me cos its an area I love so will happily talk about it but do find I go out to a party etc and end up doing a bit of improntue coaching - but then I think thats common in many proffesions.

I got into this area as it was interesting and yes I did get some very strange looks and you're completly mad comments when I first started to choose to go on a training rather than spend money on a holiday to some tropical island or other. I know which one I enjoy most and over time those that matter have seen for themselves the difference its made for me and have started quizing me. Those that still think its BS have fallen away naturally (as some firendships do naturally over time anyway.)

I don't know if that helps

Jen

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by alexyeo
Have you encounter such people? And how do you response to them?

PD is sacred for some people… and heresy for others… and most people have very strong opinions on the subject… so, what I do… is discuss it freely with people who are pro PD… and drop the subject like a hot potato with people who feel strongly against it…

Being a very emotional and almost non rational subject, you cannot entice anti PD people with words… you can only do it by being an example… create for yourself success and happiness… and people will rush to you to know your secret… then, and only then can you hope of reaching and teaching those “anti PD” people…

Good luck to you… and, may your successes by an example for us all…

.

[shesaboutspirit]

As usual, Shamou makes a great point. By applying personal development to oneself, we become an example rather than someone just preaching. That's the person I would trust too, not the one with the messed up life who's giving advice to everyone but him/herself. I have spent many years being that person. I had lots of great info, but one day realized that I really needed it the most. My new motto is to take my own advice first...and then if someone asks...I'm happy to share.

blessings all,

Pam

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

As usual, Shamou makes a great point. By applying personal development to oneself, we become an example rather than someone just preaching. That's the person I would trust too, not the one with the messed up life who's giving advice to everyone but him/herself. I have spent many years being that person. I had lots of great info, but one day realized that I really needed it the most. My new motto is to take my own advice first...and then if someone asks...I'm happy to share.

blessings all,

Pam

And, again, Pam... you take what I say... and say it better... you are an angel...

.

[Gerald]

I used to think it was BS too, until I started to apply. Like the other poster said, be an example and take your own advice and give it when asked. That's the best balance I've encountered.

[Lauxa]

I was reading "Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay and one thing she said was don't think of this information as being for your friends. She said she alienated people trying to push PD when they were not interested. I realized that up until that point in the book I had been thinking about all the other people who could use that information.

It is like the verse in the Bible about the hyppocrite who ignores the log in his own eye while picking at the speck in his neighbors eye. Do not cast your pearls (of wisdom) before swine (who are not interested). If a friend is complaining about life and asking for opinions to improve, then I will offer some advice but otherwise I try to stay silent. Between that and trying not to gossip I find myself talking less and less!

Also there is a Penn & Teller show (Bullshit) and they did a segment on personal improvement and these people who went to firewalk seminars, etc., which was fairly entertaining.

[betlamed]

Hehehe... have I encountered one?

You betcha.

I was like that myself, for such an awfully long time! I was full of fears, totally avoiding responsibilty for myself. It got me into depression, and only when I hit rock bottom and was standing in my room thinking about jumping out of the window, I started changing my life.

I guess the deepest fear was that if I did take up responsibility for myself, and it wouldn't work out, I would be even more miserable than before.

*eeeew*.

Thanks for the reminder! It really feels good to have worked my way out of that living hell.

bl

[Obiwan]

Originally Posted by alexyeo

Have you encounter such people? And how do you response to them?

People will always have their own opinion and you might as well let them have it.

Sometimes when someone keeps giving me ************ about something like PD, I might tell them that Steve Pavlina is Jesus. See how they like that ************!

[lifeinoleg]

Results are results.

If a person can say "I've done A, B, and C thanks in part to listening to So-and-So and reading a book by Mr. Author." There is really no argument. Certainly someone can claim that A, B and C are due to a placebo effect, but that does not invalidate results that are clear and present.

Unfortunately, too many proponents of personal development do not get long-term results from oft-times expensive personal development products and seminars, and naysayers and skeptics can see that. So I understand how many people refuse to get sold on mere hype.

I'll end where I started, results are results. After all, one cannot argue for the presence of an invisible llama (this is like arguing for personal development with no results to show), likewise one cannot argue against the presence of a visible llama (this is like saying personal development is b.s. with the results in front of you).

I think what