Does anyone acutally use this stuff?

[Scumbag]

I get the impression from my time reading these boards, that many people don't use Steve's articles or PD stuff to it's full benefit.

"I lost my track"

"My little progress"

"Help, I've lost focus"

Like it's one big crying session.

All the information is out there.

I was thinking about how fortunate we are. How many opportunities that we have, and take for granted. Take a look around the world to see what I mean. We've got people dying of war, starvation, mass genocide, kids being used in suicide bomb plots. etc etc.

And people are complaining that they can't stop drinking Colas, smoking, or working out, or finding a job.

Self Help all boils down to just showing up.

Want to know why I succeed in every goal I set?

I just show up.

That's all there is to it.

When I wanted to drop pounds I wrote a list of the stuff it would take to lose 20 pounds and did it. It became a part of my life. Coming from a place of being proactive is the key to all this stuff.

Once you realize that..it becomes so easy. So much so that you'll complete all your goals so fast that it will be hard to set new ones because you've already accomplished so much.

when I wanted a hot ass girlfriend I went out every night and got one. I didn't worry what the situation was, how I felt, I just showed up.

when I wanted to make extra money I had to battle with so many road blocks and bumps in the road it would make anyone want to turn around. I forged on and am just now starting to reap the benefits of my hard work.

So that's all there is to it. Just show up. Get out of your own head and cease the mental masturbation and pity parties.

[bylto]

Scumbag there is certainly enough PD material out there to satisfy everyone. Some of it's great, some of it's not. THERE ARE FUNDAMENTALS to success (one of which is showing up). If people practised the fundamentals consistently that would be all they need.

Sometimes, people (including me) forget or backslide. What I do is simply go back to the fundamentals. Many people, however, look for the 'new' and trendy concept to get them back on track. They'll read book after book and attend and endless number of seminars - it's all pretty much pointless though. If someone isn't willing to practise the fundamentals on a consistent basis, it's extremely unlikely that they will attain the quality of life that they dream of.

For example, one of the best PD books in my opinion is 'Think and Grow Rich' which was first published in 1937! It still hasn't been topped. This book isn't just designed for the attainment of rich, in fact you could replace the word rich with whatever word you want, 'Think and Grow Happy', 'Think and Grow Healthy' 'Think and Grow Better Relationships'.

Dabblers dabble, fulfilled people practise fundamentals

[JHL]

Unfortunately its not as simple as that. If it were, the self-help industry would not be the ballooning giant it is.

Its not a question of simply having the knowledge and applying it. We all have access to all the fundamentals we need to know. Personal development
is not an intellectual practise - its an emotional one.

Why do people in abusive relationships struggle so much to leave the abusive partner, even though its as clear as daylight that they should? Because of their emotions. Why dont people study as much as they should to get the marks they want? Because they dont feel like it. Why dont people confront the people in their lives that they should or ask for the raise they want? Because they're afraid to. Etc.

Underpinning all of self-development is the virtue of courage. The courage to confront our emotions and to leave the safe harbour of our comfort zones. It can take a day or a lifetime for people to gather the requisite courage.

You cant get courage from a book. You cant buy it and nobody can give it to you. Thats why everyone is the hero of their own stories. Because at some point they had to find the courage to change, and thats why it feels so good to improve oneself.

[Sunnybayes]

Hello! The fact that people are coming here to read and learn means that people are trying to get off their asses and succeed.

It means that they are not contempt with mediocrity, and that they are taking the energy to actually learn how to succeed, because not everyone was programmed with the common sense that you have. At least the people want to change...

And often just by being conscious of the fact that they either want to quit smoking or stop drinking coke, just by recognizing it, means that their on their way.

So I think you just posted that to be able to brag and feel good about yourself... and get a reaction ok. Well I'm proud of you boy! Good job superman

but its good though that you have reminded everyone that yea, you just need to get pissed off at yourself and be mad and just go,

and maybe it would be a good idea to do some sort of FAQ for the newbies who just want other people to solve their problems without doing any other reading first...

Or perhaps posting rules if it eventually turns out that there are just too many of these

"was on my track for personal development atleast for one week "
"How do I get back to my track? I am lost!"

A whole week huh!
(and doesn't even bother to check his spelling out of the whole 2 sentences...)

But the progress thread, those are good ideas... Those track and document if specific techniques of PD actually do work on the field, and good idea in my mind.

[llong]

Originally Posted by Scumbag

Self Help all boils down to just showing up.

Scumbag, given your username and writing style, I assume you are looking for some controversy. You won't get it from me, as I (generally) agree with you.

It's REALLY frustrating when people have only enough motivation to talk about it for months and months, instead of just doing it, which might take a day or two. Even here, on this forum, I see people talking about some really basic concepts, and rendering obvious desicions into heart-wrenching soap operas, when it's unneeded.

However, I think showing up is ONE fundamental of success. No doubt about it. There are others.

For example, you mention some goals you have achieved....are there others? If achieving goals becomes easier for you, then setting goals becomes the science.

Secondly, one has to look at how you achieved them. How did you lose weight? What did you say to the girl? There are tons of ways to make money, etc.

The truth can be clearest when we are most deluded, or simplistic.

[RT Wolf]

Congratulations on your ease with achieving your goals. Remember, everyone is not you. Every person is unique, both in their strengths and their weaknesses. So, try to be a little empathetic.

Still, if I could, I would make Steve's early posts (upto about june 05) mandatory reading for everyone before posting. The "First Level" of PD, if you will.

[llong]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

Still, if I could, I would make Steve's early posts (upto about june 05) mandatory reading for everyone before posting. The "First Level" of PD, if you will.

Link? Thanks!

[Sworn]

Hey Scumbag a quick question. Has there been moments in your life where you could identify with the victim mentality you're ranting about?
You're indeed exactly right about showing up.
It's great advice, just like the advice of "being yourself" when wanting to be attractive around the opposite sex.

It really is awesome news if you can't identify with victim mentality and Im starting to understand why it is hard to understand for people that any victim mentality is even remotely appropriate.
Cool enough, this realisation I find is helping me a lot getting out my old ♥♥♥♥♥ patterns.
btw my little progress thread is quite ok in that respect even . but I see where you're coming from, seriously.

[bylto]

JHL said:

Its not a question of simply having the knowledge and applying it. We all have access to all the fundamentals we need to know. Personal development
is not an intellectual practise - its an emotional one.

Underpinning all of self-development is the virtue of courage. The courage to confront our emotions and to leave the safe harbour of our comfort zones. It can take a day or a lifetime for people to gather the requisite courage.

I would surely say that emotional mastery and courage are fundamentals in personal development.

The reason the PD industry is so huge is not because the fundamentals aren't enough for most people to drastically improve their lives, it's because it's human nature to get bored with things and look for something new, our need for variety - one of the human needs (understanding human needs being another fundamental ). Many people want the book that's going to be it! This book or seminar doesn't exist for those who don't apply knowledge on a consistent basis. For those that do, however, just 1 book can be enough.

The upside is though, that I believe everyone will get there in their own time - it's a matter of (subconscious) choice. When a person is truly ready, they can make anything happen. Some people are creating their life, dare I say it, without exposure to any PD material. They have aquired the correct mindset though as thought is the true causative force in life.

[RT Wolf]

Originally Posted by llong

Link? Thanks!

The following link is called Archives, along the top on the main page.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/archives/

Scroll to the bottom to the first post:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/10/first-post/

And start clicking Next. Remember rto reflect on what you read and how you could apply it to your life rather than just reading them through. Much wisdom there.

[JHL]

Originally Posted by bylto

JHL said:I would surely say that emotional mastery and courage are fundamentals in personal development.

The reason the PD industry is so huge is not because the fundamentals aren't enough for most people to drastically improve their lives, it's because it's human nature to get bored with things and look for something new, our need for variety - one of the human needs (understanding human needs being another fundamental ). Many people want the book that's going to be it! This book or seminar doesn't exist for those who don't apply knowledge on a consistent basis. For those that do, however, just 1 book can be enough.

The upside is though, that I believe everyone will get there in their own time - it's a matter of (subconscious) choice. When a person is truly ready, they can make anything happen. Some people are creating their life, dare I say it, without exposure to any PD material. They have aquired the correct mindset though as thought is the true causative force in life.

Agreed bylto!

[llong]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

The following link is called Archives, along the top on the main page.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/archives/

Scroll to the bottom to the first post:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/10/first-post/

And start clicking Next. Remember rto reflect on what you read and how you could apply it to your life rather than just reading them through. Much wisdom there.

Thanks....I'm new to the blog thing.

Also, I notice that the "New Posts" button doesn't actually reflect the newest posts, because it often doesn't include posts that I just made.

Is that a common problem, or did I make a mistake?

[JamesT]

Honestly, I don't think there's much to debate with the original poster's comments. I think he hit the nail on the head in terms of the key to personal development, he just delivered the news in a tough love kind of way.

In any case, everyone should think about the point he's trying to make. You can plan for self improvement, read and research self improvement, make lists about how you're going to improve yourself...BUT the key to actual personal development is doing the work. Self discipline people...its the key to it all. If you don't have the self discipline to keep yourself on track, then you just don't want change bad enough.

Instead of debating his tone, why doesn't everyone here use it as motivation to do at least 1 thing today to get you closer to your goal.

[bylto]

@ Jhl

[Scumbag]

If you look at the successful people in this world, what do they have in common?

If you had to narrow it down to just one trait they all shared it would be that of hard work.

Take Steves PD blog for example. I found his page via Stumble Upon last year and have watched it grow. We all know how hard he has worked to get this site to where it is today. Dude was putting in hours upon hours writing indepth articles on nearly every subject.

So when I see all these other PD blogs pop up and the blogger asks "why can't I get traffic" or "why isn't my blog profitable" they should ask themselves: Am I working as hard as Steve or the other leaders in this field.

What about sports? Look at Michael Jordan. Read his book "Driven from Within." Although great, he wasn't the mostly physically gifted athlete in the NBA. He simply worked his way to the top. Through consistent hard work.

--Good point on Think and Grow Rich. That book has all the fundamental keys to accomplishing whatever it is you want to accomplish.

[starlet]

If we could snap our fingers and automatically "get" PD, then this world would be a Utopia. But we are human and therefore we make mistakes. Trying to change a mindset one has had for 20, 30, 40 years does not happen overnight.

[A.K.Light]

LoL. That's some tough love right there. I like it.

[Scumbag]

Originally Posted by starlet

If we could snap our fingers and automatically "get" PD, then this world would be a Utopia. But we are human and therefore we make mistakes. Trying to change a mindset one has had for 20, 30, 40 years does not happen overnight.

That's what we call a "limiting belief" right there.

[llong]

Originally Posted by Scumbag

That's what we call a "limiting belief" right there.

Or maybe your goals aren't ambitious enough.

[Scumbag]

Originally Posted by llong

Or maybe your goals aren't ambitious enough.

people measure success in different ways. ambitious is an ambiguous term that could mean something totally different to me.

[llong]

Originally Posted by Scumbag

people measure success in different ways. ambitious is an ambiguous term that could mean something totally different to me.

Well, if your goals were easy for you to achieve, then you wouldn't need much ambition to achieve them, right? If someone's goal is to save $1000, and they do it within a week, that requires less ambition, focus, and motivation than if that same person wants to save $2000.

So, by saying Personal Development can happen with the snap of the fingers, maybe Personal Development is being defined too loosely.

[hindweb]

While there are so many gems available here, it is the individuals efoorts in this direction which will matter. You can read all the books and text available on the subject, but if you don't follow them, I think it won't help you much. A disciplined approach is what matter at the end...

[bylto]

A disciplined approach is what matter at the end...

So true hindweb

[starlet]

Originally Posted by Scumbag

That's what we call a "limiting belief" right there.

Ok then, Miracle Man, tell us the holy secret of being able to erase all limiting beliefs and install new ones in 30 seconds or less. I'd seriously like to know.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by starlet

Ok then, Miracle Man, tell us the holy secret of being able to erase all limiting beliefs and install new ones in 30 seconds or less. I'd seriously like to know.

I think he already stated his secret: Show up.

In other words, stop thinking about taking action, and just start taking action. It might be uncomfortable, but you can work past it, and it gets easier with time.

It's like trying to move a desk... Thinking about action is like pushing on the top of the desk... a lot of effort is used for minimal results. Taking action without undue worry is like pushing the desk from the side... almost all of your effort is directed at getting immediate results.

If someone who was in the habit of pushing the tops of desks were to see the results of someone who pushes the sides of their desks without seeing their methods, they'll think that the side-pusher was highly motivated, highly disciplined, and unusually strong, when instead, it's just a matter of leverage. If a skinny guy like me were to move a large desk, then I'd be called a fraud, because there's no way that I could have the strength to push a desk... It's the same with people giving personal development advice... People think that PD must be hard, because they have a hard time with it. Well, the problem isn't that you need to work harder, it's that you need to work smarter and think less.

All that Scumbag is saying is to get out of your head and go be the change that you want to see in the world. Stop thinking and start doing.

Oddly enough, that's also pretty much what Steve just said in his latest blog post, except in much less volatile language.

Here's a quick hint... If you're ever suddenly aware that you're sitting down, then you're not doing something... which reminds me, I've got some work to do.

[Trina]

Of course there is an emotional element to self improvement... after all it is your LIFE that you live in and FEEL every day. But, I agree with Scumbag. When it gets down to it, you can't just explore the emotional factors of your development, you have to get off your butt and DO something. Sometimes, spending so much time discussing the psychological factors and emotional implications and big picture of attaining a goal just makes it that much harder to get down to actually working towards the goal.

I am having that EXACT issue with my husband right now (who posted right before me, BTW, lol). He has been talking about all of his grand goals and who he wants to be, blogging about it and deconstructing the human (and his own) psyche, giving advice to others, posting on this board about personal development, etc for MONTHS. For MONTHS he has been attacking the emotional and psychological issues surrounding the goals he has in an effort to better prepare himself for achieving those goals. And in those months he has gotten so wrapped up in it that actually doing something to achieve his goals has gone to the wayside. He can tell you exactly what it takes for him to have a happy marriage. What he has to do to make me feel appreciated, to bring joy to our lives together, to reduce the stressors that cause strain, etc. Does he do any of it? Not really. He is so busy sitting on the computer and deconstructing the situation, discussing it with others who are going through or have gone through the same things that all of those things, and trying to find ways to apply the things that seem noble and honorable to his own life that he knows he needs to do aren't actually getting done. He will start out with a little bit of motivation when he first figures something out, but as soon as another issue related to the problem comes up he goes right back into figure it out mode and the motivation stops all together. Then he is right back where he started. His car looks like a raccoon had a kegger with all of the rodents of the forrest in it. His computer desk (until I MADE him clean it a few days ago) looked like New Orleans threw up on it. He completely forgot about taking his final at school and almost failed a super easy class. And those are just a few examples. I hadn't seen him for more than a few minutes at a time in DAYS, and he was off all weekend and at home. I will give him credit for taking a good hard look at himself, figuring out exactly what he was doing wrong and why he was doing it, and he came up with an awesome plan how he should fix it and has even gone so far as to figure out what he wants to do to make himself a better person all around.

There are ALWAYS going to be emotional issues in your life. You can't sit around reading books, writing blogs (unless your problems are financial and you are Steve Pavlina and make lots of money doing it), and chatting with PD buddies about those issues all the time and expect those issues to change. There comes a point when you have to abandon the safe comfortable zone where you get to talk it out in your own head and feel like you are making significant emotional progress and move into the zone where you make some palpable physical progress and have to deal with that uncomfortable thing called change. When he came to me a few days ago after yet another fight about his lack of involvement in our life, I told him the exact same thing that Scumbag said. You can talk about changing the world all day long, but until you go out and do something to cause change to happen it won't make a difference.

Also, I don't believe that the PD industry has done so well financially because it is effective, I think it has done so well financially because it is not effective. Not that people do not need to work on their lives or that achieving inner peace and happiness isn't important, because those are important things. Only because it does seem to focus more on the planning and not the doing, which seems to perpetuate this endless cycle of examination that is hard to get out of and achieve the doing. But that is just my opinion. I respect anyone else's belief that contradicts mine. Different things work for different people.

[starlet]

I agree with him on the level, and that is how I live my life. I go for my goal, and when I fail I dust myself off and pick myself back up again - most of the time. I occassionally dip back into the "poor me" mode, but can knock myself out of it pretty quickly.

However, I am highly annoyed by those who prevail themselves as these High-and-Mighty people, who looks down upon us "peons" because we do not share the same opinion and/or methods.

If he'd come in here and said "Hey, here's my advice - show up. And here's what has happened me me by applying this method" then I would not have gotten uppity. But the post reeks of arrogance. Like he's never thrown himself a pity party. I highly doubt that.

[Scumbag]

Originally Posted by Adam

I think he already stated his secret: Show up.

In other words, stop thinking about taking action, and just start taking action. It might be uncomfortable, but you can work past it, and it gets easier with time.

It's like trying to move a desk... Thinking about action is like pushing on the top of the desk... a lot of effort is used for minimal results. Taking action without undue worry is like pushing the desk from the side... almost all of your effort is directed at getting immediate results.

If someone who was in the habit of pushing the tops of desks were to see the results of someone who pushes the sides of their desks without seeing their methods, they'll think that the side-pusher was highly motivated, highly disciplined, and unusually strong, when instead, it's just a matter of leverage. If a skinny guy like me were to move a large desk, then I'd be called a fraud, because there's no way that I could have the strength to push a desk... It's the same with people giving personal development advice... People think that PD must be hard, because they have a hard time with it. Well, the problem isn't that you need to work harder, it's that you need to work smarter and think less.

All that Scumbag is saying is to get out of your head and go be the change that you want to see in the world. Stop thinking and start doing.

Oddly enough, that's also pretty much what Steve just said in his latest blog post, except in much less volatile language.

Here's a quick hint... If you're ever suddenly aware that you're sitting down, then you're not doing something... which reminds me, I've got some work to do.

Very good points.

That poster who called me "miracle man" is the exact type of person I was addressing in my original post.

Thinking it takes a "miracle", "secret" or some kind of magic pill to master your own PD, when in actuality it boils down to showing up, working hard, and using mistakes and setbacks as feedback.

[ZenDude]

Very good nuts'n'bolts topic!

I think the most important thing in PD is taking massive action. And yes, I'm channeling Anthony Robbins right now
Only through experimentation we can really see what will work, reality is the ultimate benchmark for all theories. But if we stay at the level of theorizing we never really learn/change/grow.

I think Steve's ready-fire-aim article also points in this direction.
I remembered the following video when I read this topic, and I'd like to share it with y'all.
Richard St. John on TED Talks

[RT Wolf]

^ TED = AWESOME.

I think the issue that Scumbag is really underlining is that of independance or self-sufficiancy. People wnat to find our answers "out there". People also wnat someone else to come and fix their problems.

It was a huge turn for me when I realized that my life wasn't gonna be my life unless I decided to make it. That nothing was going to happen if I didn't do it. That no one was going to come fix everything in my life and make it awesome.