My troubling situation

[crazlunatic]

My life has went downwards since the start of high-school and I feel as if there's no turning back. Back in elementary school, I was everything most kids hoped they were: popular (with the girls too ^^), intelligent, outgoing, popular.

My productivity was really high. I was a hard worker in my early ages so I could get homework done in a couple of minutes that often took others an hour and was one of the smartest kids in the school.

Now I'm anything but the description I just told you. I feel like I have succumbed to a lot of things such as the computer and Internet and video games. Yes I know this is sad but not only that, I do not seem to have that kind of productivity level anymore.

I take extremely long to work on tasks, most of the time I find it hard to concentrate. And a lot of other things... I just feel like I'm kind of hopeless. The biggest problem is that I'll get a burst of motivation and then in about a 2 weeks, I'll just lose it and it's the same cycle again.

So I was wondering what kind of advice Steve Pavlina people might have for me? ^^ Thanks.

[demk]

Maybe you are growing out of your old way of being and the disruptions are as you enter a new stage.

Maybe this negativety is a call for you to go on a journey of self discovery as your current world no longer meets your expectations.

Maybe its the suffering we all feel that forces us to develop and mature.

Maybe its bodily changes as you grow physically that are affecting your concentration (I take it your a teenager).

Maybe there are some psychological issues that need to be dealt with.

Maybe you have just lost some confidnece due to certain experiences and you need to feel competent again.

Maybe there are many different things that are amiss that need to be rectified before you can function like you would most like to, and you need to learn and grow and piece all the different parts together and open up your life like a combination lock, one number after another.

I urge you to be open minded and go on a journey of self discovery and have faith that the answers will be out there. I can't tell you what is amiss from reading your post but I can tell you that through suffering comes growth and eventual happiness and fulfillment. I've been there with the motivation swings and there is always a way forward.

One good piece of universal advice is to "Follow Your Bliss" (Credit Josep Campbell). Do what makes you happy and you will be on a track that was set for you before you were born. You can literally negotiate your way through life by following your heart (but watch that your not just happy because you are avoiding stuff - It's complex but you will get there).

Also, incorporate daily practice into your life such as exercise, meditation, healthy eating, relaxation, reading etc. and keep up with it until you have really experienced the benefit (30 days +).

And, have faith because everything is going to be cool!!!

[crazlunatic]

Thank you for your detailed post. I was expecting just some short posts of encouragement but you really put some thought into it.

One of my biggest problems is letting my wants take over my needs. For example, the need to succeed in school and proceed. But sometimes my want to do my blog, or do other things that are part of my passion, take over =(.

It's very hard to not let that happen as well.

[alexyeo]

demk had already given you some insights and thoughts.

I hope to provide you with this inspiration quote:

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." - Denis Waitley

I believe you can change for the better if you wanted to. Always believe in yourself. Your mind can't differentiate between real or unreal. If you feel you are hopeless, then you will be hopeless. If you can't believe in yourself 1st, nobody will.

I wish you all the best!

[demk]

Originally Posted by crazlunatic

Thank you for your detailed post. I was expecting just some short posts of encouragement but you really put some thought into it.

One of my biggest problems is letting my wants take over my needs. For example, the need to succeed in school and proceed. But sometimes my want to do my blog, or do other things that are part of my passion, take over =(.

It's very hard to not let that happen as well.

lol yeah I was on a roll at that moment haha.

Bare in mind that want vs. need may not be the issue and explore a bit. The main things is to relax and have fun and don't stress out. Realisations and insights will come when they come. Try asking "How does it feel to know that everything has been taken care of?" This gets you practicing the feeling of having that you need to succeed. Being in the mode of having is what visualisation is about. You need to be in have mode to recieve. You can't get what you want if your in want mode ironically.

[John Wesley]

I think the issue may be that when you reach high school, school really does get harder. Assignments are all trivial in elementary school, so now you are surprised that they require effort. You should do your best to get things done and do a good job. It might not seem like it, but high school is a crucial part in your life. it is the time that will decide where you will go college, and that will affect many other important decisions like what type of job you get afterwards.

[CoachChar]

Originally Posted by John Wesley

...It might not seem like it, but high school is a crucial part in your life. it is the time that will decide where you will go college, and that will affect many other important decisions like what type of job you get afterwards.

John, I feel what you say is sometimes true, for some people. Depends on the person and their beliefs, disposition, etc. Many a gifted student misses the real lessons (about life) in high school and college because they get caught up in doing all the "right" things so they can get into the "right" schools and get the "right" job. Then, years later, IF they haven't been seeking to find who they really are why they're really here, they may wake up and ask, "Is this all there is???" Then, those people spend years of their life "unlearning" and "remaking". Not necessarily a trajegy. It's also not the only way to do it.

Sure, I encourage students to give their all to their academics just as everyone in this thread has been doing. However, I would also encourage crazlunatic and other students to choose their beliefs carefully. We are told often that how one performs in school and where one goes to college are huge factors that will affect them for the rest of their life. I'd say that's more of an opinion or a chosen belief than a fact.

[Jes]

Originally Posted by crazlunatic

My life has went downwards since the start of high-school and I feel as if there's no turning back. Back in elementary school, I was everything most kids hoped they were: popular (with the girls too ^^), intelligent, outgoing, popular.

My productivity was really high. I was a hard worker in my early ages so I could get homework done in a couple of minutes that often took others an hour and was one of the smartest kids in the school.

Now I'm anything but the description I just told you. I feel like I have succumbed to a lot of things such as the computer and Internet and video games. Yes I know this is sad but not only that, I do not seem to have that kind of productivity level anymore.

I take extremely long to work on tasks, most of the time I find it hard to concentrate. And a lot of other things... I just feel like I'm kind of hopeless. The biggest problem is that I'll get a burst of motivation and then in about a 2 weeks, I'll just lose it and it's the same cycle again.

So I was wondering what kind of advice Steve Pavlina people might have for me? ^^ Thanks.

I am in the same situation as you. Growing up, I was a brilliant kid. Top of the class and all, with talents in other non-academic areas, too.

Trouble is, all that perfection set me up for a life of obsession. I'm now a textbook obsessive-compulsive, and have been since the onset of my teens. All throughout high school I procrastinated, developed insomnia ('I'll start that report at 4 a.m. instead of at 3'), and never handed in a single project unless I was sure it was worthy of an A+. High school was a while ago, but I haven't really changed a bit. I still procrastinate, I have immense trouble concentrating unless my environment is "perfect," and when I'm given a deadline, it automatically means I won't be sleeping until the day after.

The one thing that has changed about me, though, is that I am very confident I can do something about all of this. Little by little, I'm improving myself. Getting a lot more things done (read "Getting Things Done" by David Allen NOW), becoming an overall better and healthier person. I've realized that it's just a matter of changing my habits.

So all that being said, if I were you (and I pretty much am), I'd sell the XBox until you're ready to enjoy that sort of thing responsibly (a few hours on the weekend with your buds) and take as much time as you can afford to figure out what makes you happy. Once you've got that, start pursuing it. Pick up David Allen's book, as well as "How to Get Control of Your Time and Life" by Alan Lakein. These books don't have all the answers, but they're a good way to start getting back to a life of productivity. Set up your e-mail address so that whatever it is you go on the internet for (news, forums, porn, etc.), it's all sent directly to your inbox. Then set aside a half-hour in the morning to check your e-mail, and try not to use the internet for the rest of the day. This way you know you're getting all the information you NEED in the morning, and everything else is just a waste of time. Start a routine---wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, go to the gym in the morning, eat six small healthy meals at the same times every day, etc. All good solid things to get the ball rolling. And then, if you're still finding yourself wasting away on the internet, at least do it at great places like good self-help forums, Wikipedia, or whatever. Make sure you're learning, and not just playing World of Warcraft. Seriously, if you need video games for entertainment, try buying a vintage Nintendo and playing 8-bit games that don't require your daily attention.

Most importantly, just know that you can snap out of it. If you really want your old life back, take it. Put the time and effort into changing yourself, and it will happen---one day at a time and all that good stuff.

[crazlunatic]

Originally Posted by Jes

I am in the same situation as you. Growing up, I was a brilliant kid. Top of the class and all, with talents in other non-academic areas, too.

Trouble is, all that perfection set me up for a life of obsession. I'm now a textbook obsessive-compulsive, and have been since the onset of my teens. All throughout high school I procrastinated, developed insomnia ('I'll start that report at 4 a.m. instead of at 3'), and never handed in a single project unless I was sure it was worthy of an A+. High school was a while ago, but I haven't really changed a bit. I still procrastinate, I have immense trouble concentrating unless my environment is "perfect," and when I'm given a deadline, it automatically means I won't be sleeping until the day after.

The one thing that has changed about me, though, is that I am very confident I can do something about all of this. Little by little, I'm improving myself. Getting a lot more things done (read "Getting Things Done" by David Allen NOW), becoming an overall better and healthier person. I've realized that it's just a matter of changing my habits.

So all that being said, if I were you (and I pretty much am), I'd sell the XBox until you're ready to enjoy that sort of thing responsibly (a few hours on the weekend with your buds) and take as much time as you can afford to figure out what makes you happy. Once you've got that, start pursuing it. Pick up David Allen's book, as well as "How to Get Control of Your Time and Life" by Alan Lakein. These books don't have all the answers, but they're a good way to start getting back to a life of productivity. Set up your e-mail address so that whatever it is you go on the internet for (news, forums, porn, etc.), it's all sent directly to your inbox. Then set aside a half-hour in the morning to check your e-mail, and try not to use the internet for the rest of the day. This way you know you're getting all the information you NEED in the morning, and everything else is just a waste of time. Start a routine---wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, go to the gym in the morning, eat six small healthy meals at the same times every day, etc. All good solid things to get the ball rolling. And then, if you're still finding yourself wasting away on the internet, at least do it at great places like good self-help forums, Wikipedia, or whatever. Make sure you're learning, and not just playing World of Warcraft. Seriously, if you need video games for entertainment, try buying a vintage Nintendo and playing 8-bit games that don't require your daily attention.

Most importantly, just know that you can snap out of it. If you really want your old life back, take it. Put the time and effort into changing yourself, and it will happen---one day at a time and all that good stuff.

It's interesting to hear from someone in the same boat as me. It's not necessarily video games but things like setting up my blog and extra-curriculars I like to do. I am like that as well. I tend to not hand in something until I am sure that it is well-crafted. The major downfall is that I will eventually run out of time, rush the end, and the mark I receive would have been the same if I had just done it like everyone else did in the beginning.

I will take a look at those books. Perhaps a routine change is the answer. Thanks for all replies =). Looking forward to reading a few more