Finding Yourself

[VinceG]

If you haven't been following me in my journal, I lost my job recently. The experience was highly illuminating for me. Experience is the process of going through the same things the rest of us go through and gleaning the essential truths from them. Losing a job at 15 is a very different ordeal than losing one at 27. As is finding, and losing love, and, and discovering, and losing truth.

I discovered all kinds of things about myself, areas in which I was being false. Once I figured out that I was being false, I discovered patterns of my own thought that led to those wrong beliefs. It was humbling and interesting.

Small businesses are minefields. Understanding the motivations and underlying psychology of those you work for is incredibly important. I had focused all of my efforts on learning and understanding our customers. Which is good, those customers could get me fired if I didn't. What I failed to understand and put equal effort in was the boss and his own unique situation.

I'd had conversations with two of his friends that went badly. These people happened to have prickly egos, so the experience of dealing with me was not a good one. They immediately complained to the boss, and the boss chose to listen to them and not even hear my end of the story. It was all over in a matter of days. There was no build up, no time for reflection and possible reconciliation. It happened like that. *snaps*

He promised to give me a good reference and to hire me on a contract basis for new systems they needed. I accepted all this without argument. It was obvious he had made up his mind and was just trying to get it over with.

The job I had was false and wasn't really right for me. It was at the time because I needed confidence in my skills and experience in that environment. The universe didn't let me stay there any longer than I needed to be there.

After I left the job, I spent last week in a sort of rebirth mode. I realized I had been pinning a great deal of my self-esteem on my job. Re-building my power was the focus of that last week, and remembering that I don't need anybody or anything to rock. I just rock naturally. I was giving a lot of my power to my job, and it caused me to have the wrong attitudes concerning it. Those attitudes eventually lost me my job. It's amazing, the way it works.

All of these experiences have convinced me explicitly that a person's life puts him in exactly the situation he needs to make himself grow. Where ever you're at, that's where you need to be. So stop looking to be somewhere else and examine your now. What patterns are you seeing? What desires keep going through your head? What kinds of people do you keep coming into contact with?

Life has a funny way of being exactly what you need. I've gone back in my head after I learned something important and asked myself, "Is there any circumstances that I could have had that would have helped me learn this lesson faster?" Always, the answer was, "No, this was exactly what I needed to go through at this time."

So relax. You're exactly where you should be right now, dealing with precisely the right issues you need to be dealing with. And once you learn the lessons, you'll magically proceed onto the next situation, the next level, the next love.

You find yourself by relaxing fully into your situation. By accepting your circumstances as perfect and you as imperfect. But once you learn the subtleties of those circumstances, you'll get rocketed into higher vistas.

[AlexJay]

Excellent post... Excellent realizations... I've been down that road and I fully agree that the universe provides exactly what you need when you need it, good or bad. I think ones sanity is defined by ones ability to respond to situations and thus "Response" - "Ability"... Looks like you took it in stride and got something out of it. Nice post, it brought back memories of a similar incident for me.

Regards,
AlexJ