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| Personal Effectiveness Goals, productivity, time management, motivation, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, habits, organizing, problem-solving, decision-making, intelligence |
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10-31-2010, 08:31 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 361
 |  I'm here because there's something I want
I'm here on the forum again after not being here for couple of months because there is something I want. I want to know how to get what I want and I want to be sure that I really do want what I say I want. I've been reading the recent threads about getting what you want just now. I'm much more active out in the real world these days than I was when I was last posting here. I find myself agreeing with Angela's perspective that my life is basically about what I want and getting it. There are things that I now say I want in the outer world: "I want to express myself, do something big and make lots of money". I'm not completely stuck with bringing this about but I am getting a bit frustrated because I think I am quite clear I want it and yet days are passing and I don't seem to generate the actuality or the beginnings of it in the real world. At the moment I'm thinking that my strength in the world is the ideas I can have as I like to generate ideas but I'm maybe not so good at seeing things through. I'm thinking I may need to work with other people who can complement me and me them to make a productive team. It seems quite hard, though, to translate my ideas into actual things in the real world. I want to get over this barrier between wanting what I want to actually occur and it actually occurring. I'm starting to question whether I really want what I say I want. Maybe it just takes a little more time. I'm not despairing. I'm quite positive. But I want to get a bit of help pushing this on if i can. |
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11-01-2010, 04:11 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 361
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I am dissatisfied comparing where I am with where I want to be. Is that not the nature of the want. I don't see it will do any good to try not to be dissatisfied. I don't want not to be disatisfied until I have what I want.
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11-01-2010, 04:28 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 355
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If you are dissatisfied with the Now, it will stop you from getting what you want, which is joy. Dissatisfaction in the Now attracts towards it more dissatisfaction. But if you choose to be passionate in the process, then you will always be having fun, and the universe supports you with more things that are fun. |
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11-01-2010, 04:30 PM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 12,690
 | Quote:
Why am I not getting that? It's what I want!  (i.e. my point being that what you "want" doesn't sound specific enough to take any real action on it.) How do you want to express yourself? What big thing do you want to do? How much is "lots of money"? | |
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11-01-2010, 06:26 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 361
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11-01-2010, 06:41 PM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 361
| Quote:
As I say, I'm trying for size at the moment the idea that my main strength is in ideas, creating, initiating. So i would like to express myself in this way; imagining, initiating or creating a business. I want that business to do something that is a force for social or environmental change or some such that I see as better than the status quo. Actually, I don't so much consciously want that, as much as that would be a natural expression of who I am - it is kind of unavoidable. This is one way in which the business or what I do to express myself in the real world will be something big. Another way it could be big is by generating not just a modest income or sufficient income for myself but lead to a surplus income. The sky is the limit. I did have £50,000 in mind for a few weeks but there are houses I really like and want that would need me to earn much more. | |
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11-01-2010, 06:50 PM
| #8 (permalink) | ||
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 12,690
| Quote:
I'll say this much, though....if you want this: Quote:
Until you do that, you're going to feel the way you felt posting that. That you just can't seem to "get started" or see any beginnings of it in the real world. You can't see the beginning of "it" if you don't clearly know what "it" is. | ||
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11-02-2010, 01:51 AM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia
Posts: 1
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11-02-2010, 02:04 AM
| #11 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,703
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11-02-2010, 02:28 AM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,853
| Quote:
 It's not nearly as far along as you've been led to believe.@Mondarin - business is a tough thing to figure out. What is currently helping me is that I picked up a business textbook for $40 and I'm going through it. That makes any business conversation you hear or get engaged in that much more meaningful. In fact, that's my advice. Work on the base and the rest will follow. Last edited by Mounds; 11-02-2010 at 02:30 AM. | |
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11-02-2010, 06:08 AM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,703
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11-02-2010, 12:06 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,853
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Just gonna go ahead and throw some thoughts out there. Lets see where it leads. I had a really hard time figuring out what I wanted because frankly, everything sounds difficult and insurmountable. It's not that I wanted the easy road, I just wanted something I figured I could do. For example, I wanted to build a business. So you look into it a bit and all you read about is hardwork and luck. So the way I translated that is, "Work your arse off and just maybe, it will work out". Well, I don't want to put all my time into something that will probably fail anyway. The way I should have translated it though, is "Work hard to create oppurtunities (a synonym for luck). The more oppurtunities, the more chance of success". Suddenly, it sounds pretty doable. Let's have a peak at changing the world. I think the easiest way to get started is changing someone's world. It's easy to get started, it makes you feel great and it's a true time investment. We have an organization in my town (not sure if it's Canadian only) called Habitat for Humanity. You assist with building houses for low-income faimlies. Free experience and you're changing someone's life. What about mentoring a youth? Lots of fun, you make a new friend, you improve your social skills and you change someone's life. My rule of thumb is if there is nothing to lose, just get started. Things like volunteer work and such. Get going and see where you end up. With something like a business, I do a lot of planning and setting short-term goals. -Tim |
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11-03-2010, 12:34 AM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA
Posts: 89
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Mondrian, alot of people will make the statement that they are No Where in life, but if you re-arrange the words to say I am Now Here, that gives you a starting point for acheiving your goals and dreams. If you have a passion, pursue it and stick with it. The more you stick with it, the easier it becomes to be succesful. Also remember, if you can't change the World, then change Yourself. And if you can't change Yourself, then change your World.
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11-03-2010, 11:03 AM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 361
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So many helpful thoughts! Thank you. I'm thinking that, as suggested by a few of you, I don't actually know the specific tangible actual concrete real thing that I want or want to do. I just know that I want to do something that expresses myself and for me is somehow 'big' and I do want to generate surplus income and be rich. Rich for also my family's sake. I'm looking at a few business ideas, e.g.: 1. a shop local loyalty card scheme (advertising revenue) 2. a local web portal (advertising revenue) 3. a market research company 3. eco-electrical company with a business partner For some reason I'm not launching into any of these although I am still doing a bit of research around all of them which is a prerequisite to launch anyway. However, I'm not sure any of these businesses is based around what i really want or really want to do, and maybe that is why I'm not really going for it. Rather, they are perhaps more based around leading to the more generic things I want:'expression', 'big', 'rich'. I think I need my role in a business to be a 'conceptual' one: initial idea or opportunity spotting, finding out information, imagining the grand plan. I will probably leave the physical doing to others (if I work with others). Yesterday afternoon I was trying to see if I could get at what I really want to do, if there is such a thing or things, and I thought that architecture could be the thing. I was inspired to reconsider this long-running possibility after a Nick Williams (life coach guy) video was saying that one thing that might stop one doing what they really want is not so much that they don't know what it is but that they can't see how it would be possible to make it happen (conventional professional architect requires many years training and work experience). So, maybe I do know. I know I have a tendency to want to preconceive everything without actually going out and doing any of it. But that is perhaps my great strength - what an architect actually does! I'm putting out these more specific notions about what I've been looking at in the hope that you can better see the kind of help I might be needing. |
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11-03-2010, 01:07 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA
Posts: 89
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Mondrian, something else you should consider is putting a board of advisors together. These are preople you can turn to and bounce your ideas off them. People you can trust and respect and share your ideas with. Allow them to be completely honest with you and your concepts. This can help give you some direction on which way to go.
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11-03-2010, 01:08 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,703
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Set one of these things in front of you. Accomplish it. Then move on to the next one. You do this by knowing what "done" means. If you don't know what done means, then you'll forever be working on the same goal. Find "done." |
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11-03-2010, 01:25 PM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 159
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In my experience, you only begin to get what you want when you fully appreciate what you've already got. Additionally, it always helps if what you want is for the greater good. Do you keep a gratitude journal? Manifesting started to become so much easier for me when I stopped dwelling on the past, stopped daydreaming about the future, and started being grateful for NOW.
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11-04-2010, 03:21 AM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 303
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OK, I get what's up here. Bear with me, it's quite difficult to verbalize. Point 1: Your goals are not focussed but this has already been discussed here. I'm going to throw something in there too. A goal of 'I want to be rich' is LAME! A goal of 'I want an income of $100k per year after tax' is much better. This is because you have quantified it and can track your improvements. If one year you are making 20k, next year 30k, 50k, so on, you can see you are getting closer to your goals. Having this focus allows your spidey sense (this is a technical term guys) to zone in on what is relevant and going to help you achieve this goal. Point 2: Your business ideas don't match up with your goal. Some advertizing portal doesn't really contribute anything to the world. Neither does any of the others you've mentioned apart possibly from the final one. It's no wonder you can't get motivated to start if you're not going in alignment with your goals. I think the single biggest problem is that you've realized that contribution is king subconsciously but are not sure how to act on it. You need to put yourself in a position where you can grow, outwards, not inwards. It will probably not be easy. In fact, I've just dedicated my website to trying to help people do just that. I've only written one post so far but it might interest you. My first thought is you should set up a business consultancy firm where you specialize in helping to generate ideas which allow the company to better *__________* (insert world changing goal here) and market yourselves to every business you know. Again, be specific. Also, don't expect this to happen overnight either. You WILL HAVE TO WORK AT THIS! After that it's all business sense really. |
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11-04-2010, 10:34 AM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 361
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Thank you all again. I may not have a proper 'board of advisors' (that sounds great!) in flesh but you guys are a pretty decent alternative. Chris, thanks for your post and I also read the article on your own site. I'm thinking along similar lines to you at the moment in terms of growing and expressing outwardly in the world. I have for many years been focused mainly internally but not so long ago that has changed and I have lost most of my appetite for philosophical outwardly inconsequential musings about things. Now I really want to build something for myself in the outer world. I find great clarity in your thoughts about how I need to focus the activity in the outer to match up with the more abstract but nonetheless definite imperatives coming from within. In fact, you have taken a similar approach in your very response to my call for help, that is, you have been much more specific about what the actual problem is, for me. You have listened and picked up what is going on. I've obviously not elaborated much on the specific business ideas I have been considering and so I can understand your aversion to the ideas which would gain revenue through advertising. My goal and inspiration with those ideas is, however, more dependent upon the contribution I can see those ideas making in the real world, e.g. shop local would be a way to help the town centre and small shop/business owners survive and prosper and cut down car journeys maybe, or the local portal would enable local discussion and exchange of ideas and facilitate a more democratic and alive town. You're right that those ideas have not been conceived of in such a way that they are fully or maybe even sufficiently (enough to act on) in line with my goals but I am working on this today. Thanks for your business consultancy idea which is quite interesting and certainly throws some fresh input into my investigation. I'm not sure such an idea, like the one I had for a market research company, really inspires me because I don't see that I am building something for myself. I do take your point on your blog post, however, that it might be better to get my self-importance out of the way and do something big by enabling it for others. I have thought similarly myself already. Best wishes with your own change of focus to growing outwardly and helping other do that too. Here's at least one person demanding such a service. |
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11-04-2010, 08:25 PM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: NH Wt Mtns (Summer), Myrtle Bch SC (Winter)
Posts: 90
| An additional thought on this...
Hi Mondrian! I'm new to this particular forum, but this thread really caught my attention since I have worked with a lot of people who have situations similar to yours. First, let me say that I really like Kurtzilla's idea about the advisors, and I am also applauding ChrisRushton on his discussion about truly quanifying your goals and aligning yourself - and even more importantly, contributing. Feeling like you are "a contributor" in whatever it is you do is so important. Here's an idea to throw into the mix - and I tell everyone about this little technique and even included it in my own little ebook. It's kind of like taking "visualization" to a different level. Let's say you have all those ideas that you listed earlier in the thread. Why not produce a little "movie" that you play in your mind, imagining that you are actively doing one of those businesses. Let's just use the eco-electrical company idea for the example. You might imagine yourself already involved with such a company. In your mind, what is it you are doing? How do you feel when you're doing it? What kind of conversations are you having with your business partner? Are you enjoying yourself? Worrying? Dreading talking with the next client? What are the emotions surrounding the day to day experience of this company? Are you smiling in your imagination? Remember, this is just a little exercise to try to put yourself as fully as possible into the actual business - but only in your mind for starters. If you cannot find yourself enjoying yourself in your imagination, or cannot find yourself feeling a sense of pride or accomplishment, then it may not be the right direction for you at this time. I used to have my high school career students do similar visualizations - I'd have them put a big smile on their face, close their eyes, and then tell me what it is that they are doing in their minds to make them smile so much (of course, we would have them limit their imaginary excursion to G-rated pursuits!  )Anyway, the kids (and subsequently, a lot of adults I've worked with as well) would come up with some amazing "scenes" where they were accomplishing some terrific goals. It also helps determine what you DON'T want to do! I use this fun technique almost every single day as I visualize where I want to be. I hope this made sense! Good luck as you progress! You are already miles ahead of lots of other people in that you are actively seeking what it is you want to do. Warmly, Kath
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