Self-Help Books

[Lifeisamazing]

• Are they for smart people, dumb people or both?

• Does a self-help book limit one's mental progress?

• Is it better/worse, more interesting or more boring to live your life by using self-help books?

• Do you recommend people to read self-help books? Why?

[mikej]

i've found them useful in the past but there comes a point when you have to set them aside completely and start putting into practice what you've learnt.

[machoman]

Are they for smart people, dumb people or both?

Both. Because I have been both dumb and smart. When I started into PD, I was a PD junkie at that time..Nowadays I start working on PD material only if I commit myself to finish and starting to apply.

Does a self-help book limit one's mental progress?

It all depends on the person who uses it. One big example is this

Is it better/worse, more interesting or more boring to live your life by using self-help books?

I would say 50-50. Everything has some limits. If you study PD material and work on improving your life everyday, then that would be better. However, if you study PD material all day long and doing nothing about it, then that would be worse.

Do you recommend people to read self-help books? Why?

Yup. I do recommend a lot of PD resources here on this forum. I do this in the hope that it would be useful to them.

[Daffy Duck]

They're good at first, but after a while you start to realize they all say the same thing and it becomes redundant to continue reading. Even Steve, who is arguably one of the more creative PD authors, is often sharing the "same old stuff" when he writes. The core principles of success are virtually the same for everyone.

[James81]

I revert to the ever awesome George Carlin in this regard....(and I'm paraphrasing a bit cause I'm writing this from memory): "What's up with "self help" anyway? If you help yourself, you didn't need help to begin with. It's not self help...that's help! There's no such thing as "self help." Try and pay attention to the language we've all agreed on!"

[st33med]

I have read a few personal development books. Most of them include way too much filler and by the time they get from examples to advice, I am already sick of the book. The advice then sounds like something I could have thought up myself using the main points of the book.

I don't have anything against these books, but, like Daffy said, it's mainly rehashed material to me.

[James81]

Originally Posted by st33med

I have read a few personal development books. Most of them include way too much filler and by the time they get from examples to advice, I am already sick of the book. The advice then sounds like something I could have thought up myself using the main points of the book.

I don't have anything against these books, but, like Daffy said, it's mainly rehashed material to me.

You know, everytime I think this is true...that it's all rehashed material...a book comes along and absolutely challenges the way I set my paradigms.

I can't tell you how many times I've said "Ok, i'm done with personal development because it's getting frikin redundant" and then I go and read some fiction for a while and, voila, another book pops up that flops me on my end.

Conversations with God comes to mind.

A Man's Search for Meaning comes to mind.

A Thousand Names for Joy comes to mind.

I've come to realize that it's kind of like a dance...you do a little of this for a while, then you do a little of that...and then you explore a little of this, and then you explore a little of that. I've stopped swearing off message boards, personal development, blogs...when I reach a point of redundancy, I just shift my focus now and let the desire return naturally. And it usually does.

[st33med]

Originally Posted by James81

You know, everytime I think this is true...that it's all rehashed material...a book comes along and absolutely challenges the way I set my paradigms.

I can't tell you how many times I've said "Ok, i'm done with personal development because it's getting frikin redundant" and then I go and read some fiction for a while and, voila, another book pops up that flops me on my end.

Conversations with God comes to mind.

A Man's Search for Meaning comes to mind.

A Thousand Names for Joy comes to mind.

I've come to realize that it's kind of like a dance...you do a little of this for a while, then you do a little of that...and then you explore a little of this, and then you explore a little of that. I've stopped swearing off message boards, personal development, blogs...when I reach a point of redundancy, I just shift my focus now and let the desire return naturally. And it usually does.

That may be true.

The one book I remember was "No More Mr Nice Guy". It kept giving example after example of people who victimize themselves to get what they want. It went for about ten chapters with the same old crap and finally got to advice and exercises which mainly focuses on this: "Focus on yourself."

I stopped reading after one exercise and just did what I felt was right to focus on myself. I was a little frustrated for wasting a lot of time on that book.

That may not apply to most other books. I am making a generalization, so, it probably isn't true.

[Lifeisamazing]

Originally Posted by st33med

I have read a few personal development books. Most of them include way too much filler and by the time they get from examples to advice, I am already sick of the book. The advice then sounds like something I could have thought up myself using the main points of the book.

I don't have anything against these books, but, like Daffy said, it's mainly rehashed material to me.

A lot of life is so simple that we forget to see those very trivial things. Isn't that what self-help books are all about - reminding you about those very small and simple things that can be very powerful?

[st33med]

Originally Posted by Lifeisamazing

A lot of life is so simple that we forget to see those very trivial things. Isn't that what self-help books are all about - reminding you about those very small and simple things that can be very powerful?

Sorta. They don't remind you of simple values, but they give you a way to gain a powerful perspective on a certain issue. And some make the issue more complex or add in too much filler just to make it a 'book'.

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by James81

Conversations with God comes to mind.

They were very good and unique. Some of my favorites. CWG was actually a very important book to me, at the time. But I read those so many years ago.

The last book I read that really gave me a unique insight was The Mastery of Love, but that was years ago. Since then I haven't really seen anything new, to me.

I agree with you though - I haven't "sworn off" personal development books. But I don't really pay as much attention to them. In a way, I read books that are indirectly about personal development. For example, I'm currently reading Mistakes Were Made (but not by me), which is more about psychology than self-help, but it can be used for self-help.

I just don't focus on them anymore. When I was a young teen, I devoured self-help books like a lion.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

They were very good and unique. Some of my favorites. CWG was actually a very important book to me, at the time. But I read those so many years ago.

The last book I read that really gave me a unique insight was The Mastery of Love, but that was years ago. Since then I haven't really seen anything new, to me.

I agree with you though - I haven't "sworn off" personal development books. But I don't really pay as much attention to them. In a way, I read books that are indirectly about personal development. For example, I'm currently reading Mistakes Were Made (but not by me), which is more about psychology than self-help, but it can be used for self-help.

I just don't focus on them anymore. When I was a young teen, I devoured self-help books like a lion.

Yeah, same here.

I've noticed that my reading preferences have shifted from that "self helpy" stuff to more psychological/spiritual in nature.

And I tend to think that that's a very natural progression on the continuum that is personal development.

Like, there's the "OMG, I'm learning tips and tricks" phase...and then there is the "I'm done with PD" phase...and then there's "oh wait, I'm learning about beliefs and values and social interaction phase" and then there's the "I'm done with PD" phase...and then there's the "Oh, wait, i'm learning about psychology and spirituality and abstract concepts" phase...and then there's the "I'm not really done with PD, but I'm not focused on it anymore" phase...and then there's the "i'm just gonna live my life!" phase, followed by more of a "I'm a zen bastard" phase.

It's all so hypnotic and wonderful.

[Lifeisamazing]

I got into a debate with my friend who hasn't read a single self-help book, yet is completely against them saying that
1) the authors just want to make money and
2) it prevents people from thinking on their own, thus is actually bad in the long run.

I personally feel that they can give you some ideas, which can guide you a little, and most of all motivate you and give you this sense of power.

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by Lifeisamazing

the authors just want to make money

LOL. They're in the wrong industry then...

What's wrong with wanting to make money? Do people criticize waiters as restaurants? Oh, look at that boy! He's not here because he has a passion about serving food. HE'S HERE FOR THE MONEY! GRRR!

[Cochonette]

I would say 50-50. Everything has some limits. If you study PD material and work on improving your life everyday, then that would be better. However, if you study PD material all day long and doing nothing about it, then that would be worse.

Worse than what? Worse than Steve Pavlina, worse than George Bush, worse than Homer Simpson? Speaking of which, I wish the Pope would shut up and read something other than the Bible.

[jacare]

I get the audio versions of self help and listen to them. It is true, when you condense the material they become repetitive. In fact, I'll summarize them all right now:

1. Love yourself
2. Set Goals (health, relationships, financial, philanthropy, etc.)
3. Keep your mental focus on your goals
4. Take some form of action on your goals (thoughts, acts, calling spirits,
whatever action is for you)
5. Review feedback from your actions
6. Adjust your actions toward your goal

I don't read self help so much any more, because it is repetitive. But I view it as like tuning a piano. If you don't constantly tune a piano, the strings will expand, and it will not play true.

What I do now more, is make a tape in my own voice, with back tracking of music or ocean sounds, whatever, of what I want to achieve, mantras, and affirmations. I put this on my iPod, and listen for an hour or two each day, while I'm lifting weights in the morning, and at night, or at random times. What this does is "brain wash" me. And it works. One of my mantras is "money is flowing into my life". And you know what? It really is.

[FeelGoodNow]

There is only one self help book in existence (that I am aware of) that is completely different from all other books (including Conversations with God, Abraham Hicks - you name it).

I've studied just about every book, seminar and method that is out there for the past 20 years and thought there was nothing left that could rock my world. I was very wrong.

Have you seen the movie The Matrix? This book is the red pill - the way out. And no matter how much you think you know, I can promise you that you do not know what is in this book.

Don't let the title fool you - it's called "Busting Loose From The Money Game", but the money part is just scratching the surface.

I dare anyone to read this book and not have their world drastically and permanently altered...unless you don't have a wide open mind. Because if you're not wide open minded, you'll most probably think that the author has lost his mind.

[Lioness]

Originally Posted by Lifeisamazing

....2) it prevents people from thinking on their own, thus is actually bad in the long run.

By this logic, any informative book, from home improvement to fitness would prevent one from thinking on their own. It's also to say that by reading a self-help book, you will be hypnotized into blindly followimg whatever advice that particular book is espousing. B. S.!! Reading information doesn't brainwash you. It gives you food for thought to either accept or reject and new ideas to improve your life. Life can be difficult and confusing at times. Why not consider some expert advice from successful people?

Give your friend a copy of your favorite S.H. / PD book and challenge your friend to read just the first chapter. It could be Steve's book or any one that has resonated with you. My experience is that even if one doesn't completely agree with the author, these books are interesting and provide insight into human behavior and I bet he will wind up reading the whole thing.

[Mister G]

There is one chinese proverb: 尽信书不如无书 (jìn xìn shū bùrú wú shū)
Meaning “To completely trust in a book is inferior to no book”.

Regards,

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by FeelGoodNow

Don't let the title fool you - it's called "Busting Loose From The Money Game", but the money part is just scratching the surface.

I haven't read it yet, but is there really anything more to it than its promotion of LoA and subjective reality? I've read enough of that.

[Lifeisamazing]

Originally Posted by Lioness

By this logic, any informative book, from home improvement to fitness would prevent one from thinking on their own. It's also to say that by reading a self-help book, you will be hypnotized into blindly followimg whatever advice that particular book is espousing. B. S.!! Reading information doesn't brainwash you. It gives you food for thought to either accept or reject and new ideas to improve your life. Life can be difficult and confusing at times. Why not consider some expert advice from successful people?

Give your friend a copy of your favorite S.H. / PD book and challenge your friend to read just the first chapter. It could be Steve's book or any one that has resonated with you. My experience is that even if one doesn't completely agree with the author, these books are interesting and provide insight into human behavior and I bet he will wind up reading the whole thing.

That's the argument I told him, however, his response was that self-help books are mostly about behavior and relationship, about how to behave. He also added that we should be able to think how to behave ourselves not based on a book.

I also told him that people who think and question everything will get insights and ideas that they can adjust themselves. It's not like smart people read something and believe that everything is the absolute truth for every single individual. Despite that he kept going: "You would benefit from spending the time that it takes to read a self-help book on thinking how to change the situation yourself. This helps you to come up with an answer as well as develops your mind." He makes a point but it still seems relevant only to those people who take everything they read as gold.

[Lifeisamazing]

Originally Posted by Mister G

There is one chinese proverb: 尽信书不如无书 (jìn xìn shū bùrú wú shū)
Meaning “To completely trust in a book is inferior to no book”.

Regards,

Agreed. That's where your intelligence comes in, you trust the material but you verify it.