Motivation

[Michelle]

My motivation has plummeted in the last few days after having become conscious of the fact that most everything I do is for others.

This means, whatever I do is in some form trying to please others, appease others and get them to leave me in peace, but not to please me or fulfill my life purpose.

My greatest wish is to be at peace from the "shoulds", "have tos" and guilt which bombards me from inside at all hours of the day.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[Dating Specialist]

Hi Michelle

Something for you to test out ya.

I find that to be really motivated, we need to first elicit our values in life. Take some time out and be with yourself. Think carefully and list down what are the values that are important to you in your life. Eg: love, freedom, integrity, peace, harmony, stabilty, fear or rejection, failure etc.

You'll probably get a pretty long list. Just list down the 10 most important ones. Next, sort them according to importance and priority, 1 being the most important.

From here, you'll be able to know yourself better. It also gives you a good idea of what drives you to do and not do certain things. If your top value is harmony, then you'll actually be happy to act as the mediator in order to keep everyone happy. If it is not, then you'll be feeling what you are feeling right now. More frustration than inner peace?

Take this opportunity to reconnect with your innerself. You should be able to see some pattern in your life. Hope this helps.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by Michelle

My motivation has plummeted in the last few days after having become conscious of the fact that most everything I do is for others.

This means, whatever I do is in some form trying to please others, appease others and get them to leave me in peace, but not to please me or fulfill my life purpose.

My greatest wish is to be at peace from the "shoulds", "have tos" and guilt which bombards me from inside at all hours of the day.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Have no regrets. ^,^

[SimonaRich]

Whenever you feel you are falling back into your old habits, just think that you are responsible only for yourself and you can only help others if you make the best of your life.

[The Cloud]

As far as I am concerned, motivation is just crude manipulation of psychological problems. It always seems to be used to get past some useless mental construct that seems to be between you and action. I don't think that more focus on broken thought patterns is going to help you much, at least not in the long term.

I think that you have a sense of what you want to do, for the task's own sake and no other reason. You think that you have to manipulate your thoughts and emotions so that they will support you in doing these tasks. You don't. Those thoughts and emotions have little to do with the reality of the situation. Your fears and pains are for things that cannot stop you and aren't really problems.

For example, fear of public speaking. There is virtually no danger in public speaking, but many people feel fear in response to it anyways. Is that fear relevant to anything real? No. It can be bypassed, ignored; it has absolutely nothing to do with the reality of the situation and can be disregarded as an illusion. Putting your life in service of the illusion of fear will only lead to a life where fear is your master. Forget your fear, of persecution, of castigation, of social ostracism. These fears are not relevant to reality, no matter how much you try to justify them. They are simply not relevant, and you don't have to listen to them anymore.