Getting what you want

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

Hey, guess what Midasgirl?

Your rep power is worth 6 rep points!

Well, there goes my theory. I thought that the more rep points you have, the more rep points are given when you give rep.

[James81]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Is that good?

It's better than only having 5 rep points power.

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, there goes my theory. I thought that the more rep points you have, the more rep points are given when you give rep.

ZING!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Hmmm... I'm not sure. I mean, maybe unconsciously, because I've definitely had all these problems and issues surrounding a thing, and then suddenly, overnight, it was gone.

Well, yeah, I have perspective shifts all the time. And it alters my reality. So yes.

That's what I mean. When you look at the world using a perspective of your heart's desire, the things 'n stuff (like: material objects or external circumstances that you want) tend to look differently to you than before you took on that perspective, back when you were only present to desiring the things 'n stuff.

That's what I meant earlier in this thread by going through the window of your apparent desire, examining it and going through it to see what it is that would totally light you up if you had it.

As an example, a year or so ago I wanted to marry Danger Man, and it was kind of a stressful desire because I knew he didn't want to get married. I examined what was my heart's desire that lived inside wanting to marry him, and I found that the ladder of purpose was: marry Danger Man > mate > Partnership > Family > Joy > what I'm here for.

I broke up with Danger Man the day I recognized that heart's desire. Interestingly, my volleyball partners/family showed up with food and wine to ease the transition.

As soon as I recognized what the heart's desire was and took on generating it, marriage to Danger Man just looked completely different, and I laughed a little to see it.

A day or so later, LOL-Man showed up, the guy I had thought of as the love of my life (and it turned out he had thought of me as the love of his love) since we parted 23 years earlier. It didn't take long for us to recognize that we both had that same heart's desire and that we were both willing to fully choose each other, which is how we both think of Partnership. And my heart overflows with joy when I think of him and his sons and when I'm with them; they feel like my family -- a family in which we're all choosing one another.

And Danger Man and I are what works really well for us: very, very good friends.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

ZING!

Ooops! I didn't mean that as a zing! My evaluation of how I'm gonna weigh consideration of someone's feedback isn't linked to how many rep points they have.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by Angela

That's what I mean. When you look at the world using a perspective of your heart's desire, the things 'n stuff (like: material objects or external circumstances that you want) tend to look differently to you than before you took on that perspective, back when you were only present to desiring the things 'n stuff.

That's what I meant earlier in this thread by going through the window of your apparent desire, examining it and going through it to see what it is that would totally light you up if you had it.

As an example, a year or so ago I wanted to marry Danger Man, and it was kind of a stressful desire because I knew he didn't want to get married. I examined what was my heart's desire that lived inside wanting to marry him, and I found that the ladder of purpose was: marry Danger Man > mate > Partnership > Family > Joy > what I'm here for.

I broke up with Danger Man the day I recognized that heart's desire. Interestingly, my volleyball partners/family showed up with food and wine to ease the transition.

As soon as I recognized what the heart's desire was and took on generating it, marriage to Danger Man just looked completely different, and I laughed a little to see it.

A day or so later, LOL-Man showed up, the guy I had thought of as the love of my life (and it turned out he had thought of me as the love of his love) since we parted 23 years earlier. It didn't take long for us to recognize that we both had that same heart's desire and that we were both willing to fully choose each other, which is how we both think of Partnership. And my heart overflows with joy when I think of him and his sons and when I'm with them; they feel like my family -- a family in which we're all choosing one another.

And Danger Man and I are what works really well for us: very, very good friends.

So as soon as you realized what you truly wanted was joy, not marriage, you broke up with him? Or was it because you realized the romantic connection with him was not generating joy, so you cut it out?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

So as soon as you realized what you truly wanted was joy, not marriage, you broke up with him? Or was it because you realized the romantic connection with him was not generating joy, so you cut it out?

Actually, my heart's desire was chunked down from joy -- I already knew that there was joy missing in our romantic connection. I had been thinking that getting married would supply that missing joy, but I wasn't aware of the values that lived as a heart's desire for me in between there.

It was when I realized what I truly wanted was Partnership and Family, that's when I broke up with him.

Then -- *POOF*! -- Joy was suddenly there in my relationship with Danger Man.

[Angela]

Well -- I say "suddenly" but I did grieve for a few weeks over my attachment.

[LostMyMap]

Originally Posted by Angela

Actually, my heart's desire was chunked down from joy -- I already knew that there was joy missing in our romantic connection. I had been thinking that getting married would supply that missing joy, but I wasn't aware of the values that lived as a heart's desire for me in between there.

It was when I realized what I truly wanted was Partnership and Family, that's when I broke up with him.

Then -- *POOF*! -- Joy was suddenly there in my relationship with Danger Man.

I keep seeing where all of your examples of stacking, or chunking, have Joy at the top. Now who am I to argue with joy, but is that the deal, that the exercise always leads to joy?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by LostMyMap

I keep seeing where all of your examples of stacking, or chunking, have Joy at the top. Now who am I to argue with joy, but is that the deal, that the exercise always leads to joy?

For me, that seems to be a pattern. Joy is right up there on my stack of values -- right up there at the level of purpose. That's not true for everyone. What can be helpful and interesting is to notice what comes up for you, because that's what's going to motivate you, light you up and inspire you.

[Hemlock]

This thread has given me a lot to think about, it almost makes me understand why it piffled off into mundane debate on forum dynamics. So much to think about.