Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Bluth · 10-09-2010, 10:17 PM

How does one deal with this? For me this seems to be one of my biggest obstacles.

Bizarre Jester · 10-09-2010, 10:27 PM

It would help if you were more descriptive. In general, acknowledge that failure is a possibility before you try. Assume that you will succeed just acknowledge the possibility. If you are comfortable with that risk, then you have to just go for it and see what happens.

Bluth · 10-09-2010, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bizarre Jester

It would help if you were more descriptive. In general, acknowledge that failure is a possibility before you try. Assume that you will succeed just acknowledge the possibility. If you are comfortable with that risk, then you have to just go for it and see what happens.

Well more specifically I mean just your standard striving to achieve goal.

I just feel that if I never try, then it always remains a possibility, which feels better than knowing it will never happen.

Bizarre Jester · 10-10-2010, 12:16 AM

That's a sad way to look at it don't you think? It sounds like you aren't 100% sure that you want to accomplish that goal if you can't bring yourself to try.

Bluth · 10-10-2010, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bizarre Jester

That's a sad way to look at it don't you think? It sounds like you aren't 100% sure that you want to accomplish that goal if you can't bring yourself to try.

It seems like the more I want something the less likely I am to try to accomplish it.

I try and fail at many things, but they're things that I don't care achieving.

I seem to live in a fantasy where I just pretend the things I desire are true in my own mind.

Indiana · 10-10-2010, 03:15 AM

I find a looming deadline paired with public accountability invests sufficient desperation in me to get me off my ass and past any fear of failure (my fear of public humiliation for failing to even try is greater).

Bluth · 10-10-2010, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indiana

I find a looming deadline paired with public accountability invests sufficient desperation in me to get me off my ass and past any fear of failure (my fear of public humiliation for failing to even try is greater).

Thats not a bad idea, if not for my indifference to everyone's opinion but my own.

machoman · 10-10-2010, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluth

How does one deal with this? For me this seems to be one of my biggest obstacles.

The only way you can overcome failure is to fail.

It might sound strange but this is the only way according to me.Face the failure you might experience; try to avoid it in the future and learn lessons from it. But make sure that you don't fail at the "same" thing again.

Indiana · 10-10-2010, 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluth

Thats not a bad idea, if not for my indifference to everyone's opinion but my own.

How do you manage to simultaneously think yours is the only opinion that matters, and be cripplingly afraid of not doing something perfectly the first time?

Bluth · 10-10-2010, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indiana

How do you manage to simultaneously think yours is the only opinion that matters, and be cripplingly afraid of not doing something perfectly the first time?

I've never felt the need to live up to anyone else standards I guess.

The more I think about it, it seems my problem is the way I perceive myself. Like I am holding myself to impossibly high standards, and won't except until I meet them. And that if I failed I wouldn't be able to except myself.

This is like self sabotage.

Acting Like Godot · 10-10-2010, 10:54 AM

Try setting smaller goals. Which you know you'll probably succeed at. Then you won't be afraid to try.

Smaller goals add up too, you know. A big goal is ultimately just a series of related small goals.

Kurtzilla · 10-10-2010, 04:00 PM

Bluth, Fear and Failure. Do you have fear of failing? Remember, just like the old saying, you are what you eat. The same applies here. You are what you think.... Henry Ford said it best. Failure is just an opportunity to start over again and do it right. We all make mistakes and have failure in our lives. It's what you learn from those failures and mistakes which will make you successful down the road. Mind Over Matter, Really Does Matter.

Bizarre Jester · 10-10-2010, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluth

I seem to live in a fantasy where I just pretend the things I desire are true in my own mind.

I do that to, it is a type of Creative Visualization. It helps to identify what we really want. It is supposed to encourage us to accomplish those goals in real life. not replace anything.
It sounds like you should work on your confidence also.

Brutha · 10-10-2010, 08:16 PM

Fail frequently and become comfortable with failure.

10-09-2010, 10:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bluth Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 232	Overcoming fear of failure How does one deal with this? For me this seems to be one of my biggest obstacles.

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10-09-2010, 10:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bizarre Jester Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: USA Posts: 155	It would help if you were more descriptive. In general, acknowledge that failure is a possibility before you try. Assume that you will succeed just acknowledge the possibility. If you are comfortable with that risk, then you have to just go for it and see what happens.

10-10-2010, 12:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
Bizarre Jester Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: USA Posts: 155	That's a sad way to look at it don't you think? It sounds like you aren't 100% sure that you want to accomplish that goal if you can't bring yourself to try.

10-10-2010, 03:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
Indiana Banned Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,902	I find a looming deadline paired with public accountability invests sufficient desperation in me to get me off my ass and past any fear of failure (my fear of public humiliation for failing to even try is greater).

10-10-2010, 10:54 AM	#11 (permalink)
Acting Like Godot Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,613	Try setting smaller goals. Which you know you'll probably succeed at. Then you won't be afraid to try. Smaller goals add up too, you know. A big goal is ultimately just a series of related small goals.

10-10-2010, 04:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
Kurtzilla Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA Posts: 89	Bluth, Fear and Failure. Do you have fear of failing? Remember, just like the old saying, you are what you eat. The same applies here. You are what you think.... Henry Ford said it best. Failure is just an opportunity to start over again and do it right. We all make mistakes and have failure in our lives. It's what you learn from those failures and mistakes which will make you successful down the road. Mind Over Matter, Really Does Matter.

10-10-2010, 08:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
Brutha Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany Posts: 8,749	Fail frequently and become comfortable with failure.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

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