Stuck in a loop!

[ÜberDan]

Hi everbody,

I’m hoping some wise individuals may read this and see what I am missing!

I’m stuck in a loop. For the last 6 years now I have looked for a job that pays more money. I find said job stay for 12-18 months and hate it then spend the next 6 months beating myself up for hating my job and feeling depressed. It finally gets so bad I get another job, slowly moving up the pay scale with experience but no satisfaction because I’m doing the same thing.

I work in IT which at the time in 1997 was a well paid profession so I chose to enter that field. I started in Technical Support and 6 years later I’m still in Technical Support. I have moved from a starting salary of £12,000 to my current £35,000. I don’t feel I’m suited to this job and want something new and exciting that will let me be the person I know I am inside. I have done endless profile tests to see what I am suited to and they bring back reasonable suggestions.

I am quite visual and like photography but this is new to me and it’s not even a hobby so as a career is a long way off. I love sports cars, but mainly driving them even though I don’t own my own any more because of debts. I have often thought of a career change into working with cars, but again if I was serious wouldn’t I at least be doing this as a hobby?

Another obstacle I have put in front of myself is debt. In an attempt to be rich and have the life I dream of I have spent a lot of money. I have done all the Tony Robbins courses which teach you a lot but as I’m writing this I feel they have not had the impact I was hoping for. I have no clarity or direction and no certainty of where to go from here. I have also spent money on Stock Trading courses and tutoring which as well as the course costs have lost me money on top of that. I eventually had to realise my situation and stop.

And not that I’m piling all this up, but I’ve always lived in the future. Spending money on cars which I’m still paying for now and will be for a few years to come. I done this thinking that I will make a lot of money in the future so it will be ok, again I had to realise what I was doing and stop.

My debt is manageable around £20,000 but paying it off is going to take a good 5 years at my current rate, and doesn’t help that I’m looking for a change in career.

Does this sound familiar, anyone been here and are now out the other side? Would a life coach be any help (reluctant to spend anymore cash though)? A career advisor? A lottery ticket or a kick up the ass!

Look forward to any responses, thanks.

Dan

[Steve Pavlina]

You might gain some ideas by listening to Podcast #4 in the audio section. It addresses patterns like loops and how to shift them into positive spirals.

Without a doubt one of the most helpful things for me in turning my life around was developing the ability to stay focused on what I wanted. If it takes years, it takes years, but those years are going to pass anyway.

The irony is that when you surrender to the fact that it might take you years to recover, meaning that you finally accept the writing on the wall instead of vehemently resisting it, that's when things finally start picking up.

There's a person inside you who's stronger than your current circumstances. Ultimately what turns everything around is making the decision to live as that person each day.

[ÜberDan]

Thanks for the response Steve. There is a lot of truth for me in what you say. I’m reluctant to commit to a career change because of the time needed to put into it, lacking the faith that it will be the right change. I guess my confidence and gung-ho cocky self has gone, I now doubt my ability to make the right choice.

I know there is a part of me that is stronger and I think that is where the conflict is coming from. I previously had a lot of short term pleasure at the expense of my future self, which is me now. I accept responsibility for that and am now looking out for my future self rather than laying burden on him. But there is still part of me fighting for the short term pleasure.

I have all your audio on my iPod so will listen to the podcast on the way home from work.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond.

[rene_stpierre]

Hi,

I've been having a similar issue with loops (I call them cycles) with my career.

I noticed last year that I have been through cycles during my career (I work for a large International Corporation). In each assignment, every time I approached the 2-year mark, my interest and motivation levels began going down. In some occasions, to the point where I started questioning myself and sent resumes looking for a job somewhere else. However, an opportunity for a new assignment always came before I received an offer from another Company. The latest drop in interest and motivation came 2 years ago … and I have been down there until about 3 months ago. I’ve had little bumps of interest but none of them lasted more than 1-2 months. In fall of 2004, I even decided to go back to school to become a lawyer! But that didn’t work. My problem was that I never knew what I wanted in life.

My wife an I also made a few bad decisions which lead us to debts of about CAD$20k.

But it all began to change when I was introduced to personal development 1 years ago. The advantage you have is that you seem to already have a lot of materials which can really help you improve your life.

Here's what I did to begin turning things around:
- I finally found my life purpose (at 34!). I now know what I want to be, what I want to have, what I want to do in life. I have written down my short term and long term goals. I know where I am going.

- I began taking actions towards my goals. I've been applying time management skills to increase my efficiency in everything I do in order to free-up more time to pursue my goals. I am focused on my goals.

- I did not quit my job. It brings me financial stability. I have learned that this is key to succeed in any new endeavour, otherwise you can become desperate and make bad decisions. There are various ways to be financially stable (loans, money from relatives, etc). For me, I decided my job would provide that.

- I completely changed my mind set. I have adopted an attitude of gratitude for everything I have in my life (including the job I don't really like). I look at the positive side of things. I think about what I want (instead of what I don't want ... like debt). I truly believe that the right mind set will be a key factor in achieving my goals.

I have started to see improvements in my life. The attitude of gratitude mindset has had an instantenous impact ... I feel so much better. My actions have led me to meet people and have access to information I had never heard of before. I will have a financial up-side in the next few weeks which will help cut-down our debt.

Hopefully, this can help you.

Good Luck!
René

[Lola]

Hi Dan -

In addition to the above excellent advice, I only have this to add -

Many years ago in a management training course, I learned how to motivate my staff to reach sales goals according to what would specifically motivate each individual. In other words, cash bonuses for exceeding quota doesn't work for everyone on the team. Some folks are motivated by cash - nothing else matters. Some don't care so much about the bonus but thrive on recognition, etc, etc.

This info helped me down the road in dealing with my own corporate burnout as I had learned that money alone is not a great motivator for me. What's important to me and keeps me plugged in to my work is feeling that what I do matters. I switched gears. I'm still using my financial services background, but for a non-profit that serves abused children. I won't get rich on my paycheck alone but I have everything I need and I LOVE MY JOB!

So, my advice is spend some time learning what motivates you. What makes you want to jump out of bed in the mornings? What would you do even if you didn't get paid for it? Can you still utilize your years of investment in IT training? When you come up with something, start taking the steps necessary to achieve that goal. Keep in mind you may have to stick with a job you don't like so much until you can support yourself with your dream work, because yes, those bills still have to be paid.

Good luck to you!

[ÜberDan]

Rene, thanks for the post. Your situation did sound very similar although a change in profession is needed for me. A positive attitude of “There are NO weeds” is not cutting it for me anymore. My current situation was setup and dictated to me by a very different person to who I am today. I have a learnt a lot for which I am grateful but like you I need to take time to design the life I want and in that what I want to work at.

Lola, again many thanks for the post. Your words are very similar to something Keith Cunningham said. If you were offered endless millions on the condition that you worked every day of your life, what would you do? I’m using mindmap today to brainstorm some ideas.

Dan

[newdad]

Dan,

Is there anything going on in your current job that you could really get behind? Or better yet, take an initiative on and lead? It sounds like you really don't have the option to just up and leave the job, so why not throw yourself into one project and make it your own? Pick something within the company that you know you can make better and then make it happen. You may find some joy in going to work each day if you have a personal investment in it.

Meanwhile, try out one hobbies you suggested for 30 days. Purchase a decent digital camera and and a photography book and spend a couple of weekends taking pictures. Or, purchase a car that doesn't run and a Chilton's manual to go with it and see if you can't get it running. If these don't pan out, you haven't invested much money (You ought to be able to purchase either one for about $200-300.) or time.

[ÜberDan]

Hi newdad,

I do contract/freelance work in IT. My current contract was project based and supposed to be 3 months long. I changed to contract work to keep my interest varied. Problem is the project has run for 10 months now and my interest has gone and i'm back to my old feelings about the job. It wraps up in a few months which will give me time to re-focus where i'm going. I then have the opportunity to get IT work in a field close to my new interests while I requalify or whatever I choose to do.

Great suggestion about trialing out a new hobby for 30 days. I already have a car that doesn't run so that would be a good start!

Thanks, Dan