Running on the spot?

[Gabriel.B]

Hi everyone,
I have a little dilemma here and I'm not sure how to handle it, I've tried many different varriations and approaches to solving it, but I'm still not entirely sure what it is;
Since I've discovered the self-discipline articles on Steve's Blog, my main objective was to achieve total discipline. I always used to tell myself, that if I was disciplined I could achieve anything, because no emotion of "not feeling like it" would stop me. So, here I am now almost a year since I've discovered the Blog, I've gone from doing pretty much nothing to getting up early, doing exercises, revising goals, 2 hours of drawing, etc - So everything seems nice and swell, but I kinda feel like I'm running on the spot, I have my daily plan with the regular tasks at hand to improve my chosen skills and I've been doing this since a while, but it doesn't feel like I'm making much progress, I don't mean within the skills but more Personal development wise. My level of discipline seems to have reached this hight and won't go any further. Is it because I miss a day or two within my 30 day trail? Does it have to be perfect? Are my weights to light? Sometimes I think it's because I don't have any like minded people around me (not that that's gonna stop me ) but my friends either, kind of avoid talking about PD or they my even hinder me in doing my plan (not harm intended) But there's no support. So, yeah currently there's a lot of hair pulling & teeth gnashing involved =P
I'm not sure what to do...I'd appreciate any ideas, insights.

Thx

[Ilya]

I would suggest, you take a some time off. In the beginning, the discipline is very important. It helps with breaking the bad habits, and introducing the new ones. But once you have your first and stable results, which you do, judging from your description, you may want to listen to that "I don't feel like it" voice in your head. Try to understand who is talking? It may be one of your habits, it may be caffeine, it may be excessive sugar, it may be social conditioning, it may be fear. In that case you can continue to apply discipline. But! It may very well be your subconscious mind, you healthy awaikened body, that is trying to give you a hint that you might need to take a rest for a while, or eat something your body needs. The irony is that the bad habits and your body are using the same means to communicate with your conscious mind. It helps to learn to tell them apart.
I'll give you an example. In my early twenties, I wanted to achieve financial independence. And the path i've taken is to save, invest and build passive income. The problem was that I've earned very little those days. Still I used self-discipline and saved about 90% of my income. I was ruthless. Russia is cheaper then the US, but still it was very tough. But I had my goal in mind - I saved, invested and my passive income increased. The time went by but at some point my passive income stopped increasing.
I tried to be harder on myself, but it didn't help. I got exactly the "running in place" feeling. So I stopped and analysed the situation. By that time I was already financialy independend on a safety level. My earned income trippled, quintupled if I counted my passive income. But being hard on myself and saving all the time, played a trick on me. I was so concentrated on saving, that I began to miss opportunities, and you need that to invest effectively.
So I gave myself a break. I set aside a sum of money I could spend without undermining my long term financial goals and... went on shopping spree. I'm not a fan of shopping, but this time I treated myself to the best. Also I gave some money in addition to that to charity. Obviously the money I've reserved for this excersise vanished very quickly. But I made myself to "unstick" from the froogal mindset. I started to see the opportunities again, and while I still save a lot, I make sure I keep my perspective. And my passive income began to increase from that time onwards.

[Gabriel.B]

Hi Ilya
Thank you very much for your response, I read through it and gave it a shot on the same day and I'm already beginning to see things differently. I realised that sticking too tightly to my plan wouldn't let me take care of my "To do's" which caused a lot of stress and confusion.
I have priorities on the plan (long-term goals) which I'd like to continue to practice, but I think I'll drop the others and lay back for a while, let my mind clear itself a little.
I'd have two further questions if you don't mind;
1. I think a reason I'm so obsessed with sticking to my plan is that I'm afraid of losing the discipline that I've built up. It's not about me falling back into the level of consciousness of "Fear" but more that I'll have to build all the discipline over again (which has happened once), So how much discipline can be lost by not doing anything? And doesn't the same apply to habits? I've "installed" good habits, but if I don't do them for a while, won't I have to put conscious effort into doing them regularly again?
2. I'm currently setting up first plans, ideas to work my way to financial independence. I've read through the recommended books, but on a practical level I'm not all to sure what to do. So if I may ask, what did you invest in to generate passive income? Is there any advice you could give me as I approach this daunting task?

[Gautam]

Ok, things I did after I became a Pavlinoid (ie: started trying out stuff from stevepavlinal.com)

Goal #1: May 1st, 2006 I tried going completely vegan for 30-days. I failed on May 8th. I started again on June 1st, 2006 and finished my 30-day trial, then I extended to to a further 31 days in July and that went so well that today I AM a vegan!

Goal #2: I was 3-months behind my batch in my last semester at college and I held the intention to graduate the top of my class. I held that intention very strongly and went to work on all the things that need to be done to achieve this goal. And parallely I had to deal witht the emotional burdens of coming out of a relationship. I did it! May 2006, I graduated and topped my batch.

Ok the above 2 examples were to show you how when I was focused on that one particular goal it was done. Now, my present goal is to move to a new city, get a job and become financially independent.

Step 1 of that goal was accomplished in August. But I'm still stuch at Step 2. It's almost 3 months and I didn't manage to land a job. I am focussing hard on this part of the goal, but I also know the fact that it takes time to reach your goals sometimes. I know its been 3-months, so I know that step 2 is going to be accomplished very very soon. I can smell it! When goals get close to fulfillment you just know it! and I know step 3 will come automatically 1 month from step 2, because me becoming financially independent means my first paycheck!

So my advice to you is, when you have goals and you have disciplined yourself to meet them, you're going to have to keep these things in mind:

1. Be patient. Different goals take different lengths of time.
2. Don't lose heart. When you stop feeling your goals they move away.
3. Keep your goals simple and take them one at a time. The more clarity and focus, the more easier it will be for you to get there.

Hope I was of some help!

Thanks,

[GreatnessBlog]

"Perfect Is the Enemy of the Good."

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by Bhairava Brenner

Hi Ilya
Thank you very much for your response,

You are welcome. Glad it helped.

I'd have two further questions if you don't mind;
1. So how much discipline can be lost by not doing anything? And doesn't the same apply to habits? I've "installed" good habits, but if I don't do them for a while, won't I have to put conscious effort into doing them regularly again?

As I see it, you can't loose discipline. Discipline is not the goal, but a tool. You refer to discipline as the achievemets you have (like getting up early consistently). I find it usefull to separate these things. The results in personal development are the new skills, beliefs, self-identifications that we develop. Discipline is on one hand is the conscious effort necessary at a certain stage of learning the skill. On the other hand it is the skill of applying this conscious effort when needed.
So if you applied discipline once, then another time and had success, you have this skill. You might not be very efficient in applying it and it comes with practice, but you are effective.
Now, about the results. The skills that you've learned stay with you forever. Again the efficiency may vary through time, but if you've learned something it stays with you forever. The best example is ridin a bicycle or writing Once you've learned how to do it - it stays. If you don't practice it for several years, you may feel weird riding for the first time, but the skill still would be there. Now, there is difference between learning the skill itself (reading, for example) and applying this skill (reading regularly). Luckily, regular application of a skill is a skill itself! You may call it a higher level skill, or a meta-skill.
And I think many people think that this higher level skill can be replaced by the conscious effort - hence, discipline. It can be this way, but i think this is just not efficient. If you need to do something regularly, treat it as a skill and learn it. The 30-day trial is very good for that. If at the end of 30 days you still need discipline to do what you've practiced, it means that either you don't really need this skill for some reason, or you haven't really learned it. Why you couldn't learn? Well, because you may have made the skill too difficult for you to learn. It wouldn't surprise you that it is difficult to learn the skills necessary to win the Olympics. But some of the everyday skills that seem pretty easy, may be difficult as well.
I'll give you an example. When I started taking care of my finances, it was very important for me to track my expenses. So I started doing it. It was hard and required a lot of discipline (conscious effort). So I said to myself: "what makes it so hard?". It turned out that I tried to rely on my memory too much. It wasn't working. I couldn't remember all my transactions at the end of the day. So I started writing them down. To make long story short, I had to first change the pencil to a good pen, to change my large notebook to small one. Finally I came to an arrangement, when I keep all my money in my wallet and my money-traking notebook and the pen are also in my wallet and each time I pay for something, It is very easy to write it down. Before I've sorted all these small details I had to rely on discipline. Now, I just don't remember how I write my expenses down, I do without noticing and they are just there when I need them. This is what I call a "habit" - the level of mastery, when you apply a skill without effort. If you have to rely on discipline, the habit is not there yet.

2. I'm currently setting up first plans, ideas to work my way to financial independence. I've read through the recommended books, but on a practical level I'm not all to sure what to do. So if I may ask, what did you invest in to generate passive income? Is there any advice you could give me as I approach this daunting task?

My portfolio is rather diverse. I keep some money in index mutual funds, both in Russia and in the US. I have invested in gold, and other precious metals. I also have both residential and commercial real estate.
I was lucky to have my own appartment in Moscow, so I've decided not to live there but to lease it and move to another appartment with rent smaller then what I get for my own and pocket the difference. My commercial real estate is nothing more then a couple of garages that I also lease. They cost around $3000 and yeld 30% returns per year. I also invest in my friends' businesses.

Your other question is a large one. I won't give advice on what to invest in. Investing is market specific and Russia is different and each person has a unique financial situation. But I would suggest that you track your expenses, figure out what your monthly expences are, especially on safety level (housing, food, basic clothing, healthcare - anything you can't survive without). Your intermediate goal would be to create enough passive income to cover these costs. Your first goal, would be to create the "cushion" fund. 3 to 6 months worth of your montly survival or total expenses. To do so you will have either create additional source of income without increasing spending, or reduce your spending or both. Simultaneously, start doing your long term plans - (retirement, buying a house, sending kids to university). For this you may need to consult with a financial advisor, or wealth planner (don't know how they are called in your country). And start looking around for investment opportunities. I don't know what they will be for you, but if you put your attention to that, they will present themselves.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by Bhairava Brenner

Hi everyone,
I have a little dilemma here and I'm not sure how to handle it, I've tried many different varriations and approaches to solving it, but I'm still not entirely sure what it is;
Since I've discovered the self-discipline articles on Steve's Blog, my main objective was to achieve total discipline. I always used to tell myself, that if I was disciplined I could achieve anything, because no emotion of "not feeling like it" would stop me. So, here I am now almost a year since I've discovered the Blog, I've gone from doing pretty much nothing to getting up early, doing exercises, revising goals, 2 hours of drawing, etc - So everything seems nice and swell, but I kinda feel like I'm running on the spot, I have my daily plan with the regular tasks at hand to improve my chosen skills and I've been doing this since a while, but it doesn't feel like I'm making much progress, I don't mean within the skills but more Personal development wise. My level of discipline seems to have reached this hight and won't go any further. Is it because I miss a day or two within my 30 day trail? Does it have to be perfect? Are my weights to light? Sometimes I think it's because I don't have any like minded people around me (not that that's gonna stop me ) but my friends either, kind of avoid talking about PD or they my even hinder me in doing my plan (not harm intended) But there's no support. So, yeah currently there's a lot of hair pulling & teeth gnashing involved =P
I'm not sure what to do...I'd appreciate any ideas, insights.

Thx

Hi Bhairava Brenner

I've heard in the long run, 'running on the spot', will get you nowhere!

[Gabriel.B]

Hi everyone XD
Please excuse the delay, the internet was down for a couple of days, so I couldn't respond, sorry

@Ilya, I hope you don't mind this turning into a discussion =P. When I started off with PD, discipline was my goal, but later on I of course realised, as you said that it was a tool. But in a way to me it is still a goal and a tool. I mean I've set myself a goal for discipline, but of course it is a means to an end.
"Discipline is on one hand is the conscious effort necessary at a certain stage of learning the skill" - Exactly, and I hope to improve in my chosen skills through regular practice and I hope to turn this regular practice into a habit by applying the built up discipline over a 30 day trial. Now I've done this a few times, but it never feels properly "installed" maybe because I don't do it exactly over a 30 day period (excluding a few days) I've been wondering about it and though that maybe I've just been trying to install to many habits at a time? Maybe one habit for 30 days and then the next, etc? Like for eg, getting up at 06:00 in the morning, I remember a time when it just happened effortless, I would automatically get up at the right time. But nowadays it's a conscious effort (so apparently not a habit yet) so should I simply do this one thing over a 30 day period and then build up to the other habits I'd like to install?

As for losing discipline, well can't you? Maybe I'm just talking myself into it, but I have the feeling that when I don't follow the tasks on my plan regularly I become lazy again (and often fall into the other extreme of doing almost nothing)

I understand what you mean with skills staying with you once their learnt, eg your example of bike riding, makes sense and the difference between learning and applying, well isn't the application the "discipline"? I mean to apply regularly until it becomes a habit? Sorry if I'm muddling things up here (little confused), but when you say "skill" as in "If you need to do something regularly, treat it as a skill and learn it" do you mean habit?
'Cause this is how I currently perceive it like this:
1. You set a goal for yourself
2. This goal (just in my case) takes regular practice to achieve the level of mastery that I would like
3. Assign a certain amount of time for everyday practice to improve my ability in the given skill
4. Do this for 30 days to install as habit (so that it becomes effortless and I'll have more room in my head for other things (eg. installing new habits, tasks of the day etc))

? It's how I currently understand it, 'cause things seem a little jumbled up here, I manage to do my stuff, but it can get exhausting, currently a lot of hair pulling involved =P

Did you install habits one at a time? Or in a go? I've tried doing a few at a time, but as mentioned earlier they don't seem to be habits yet.

I'd Appreciate any insights

[Ilya]

@Ilya, I hope you don't mind this turning into a discussion =P.

Not at all. That's what this place is for.

When I started off with PD, discipline was my goal, but later on I of course realised, as you said that it was a tool. But in a way to me it is still a goal and a tool. I mean I've set myself a goal for discipline, but of course it is a means to an end.

I get that. I was at this stage before. The question I've asked myself once, was: "Is discipline the best way to get what it gives me"? For me, the answer was "no". I'll cover the alternatives below.

"Discipline is on one hand is the conscious effort necessary at a certain stage of learning the skill" - Exactly, and I hope to improve in my chosen skills through regular practice and I hope to turn this regular practice into a habit by applying the built up discipline over a 30 day trial.

Right. I just went to Steve's "30 days to success" article and re-read it. He never says that lasting through 30 days will istall your new skill as a habit. Read again what you wrote. There is no direct connection between applying discipline over 30 day trial and regular practice turning into a habit. One does not lead to another.
Actually, discipline just helps you to break the bad habit part of your behaviour, and keep it broken, so you can keep trying something new.

Now I've done this a few times, but it never feels properly "installed" maybe because I don't do it exactly over a 30 day period (excluding a few days)

There is nothing magical about 30 days. It can be 21, it can be 40. Thirty days is a month. Easy to remember. And it is long enough to be sure that if you made it, you are past the first effects of bad habit abstinence. It is especially good indicator for addictions - smoking, drugs, pills, alcohol, caffeine. So, if someone is trying to get rid of old habit and his or her way of doing this is not working, then it is very likely to break during the first 30 days. So you have to remember, why did you skip the days? Remember that breakdowns are expected. Unless you are working with some heavy addiction, it is not much of a problem. You just forgive yourself, analyse, what has caused the breakdown and continue. I would think that a breakdown is when you skip at least two days in a row and revert to the behaviour you try to avoid. But this is up to you to decide if you've failed to the point of starting over.

I've been wondering about it and though that maybe I've just been trying to install to many habits at a time? Maybe one habit for 30 days and then the next, etc?

That can be an issue. Learning a complex skill takes a lot of neurons to rewire. Especially if you are going from one extreme to another. So it is usually advised to master one skill at a time, or at least use some alternating schedule. It is also more difficult to just track everything consciously when you are learning several things at a time.

As for losing discipline, well can't you? Maybe I'm just talking myself into it, but I have the feeling that when I don't follow the tasks on my plan regularly I become lazy again (and often fall into the other extreme of doing almost nothing)

It seems to me that you use discipline as an opposite to laziness. Am I correct? I don't view it this way. I do not believe in laziness. When we are being "lazy" it usually means that what we are trying to do is too hard for us at that moment. You can drag yourself with discipline despite the difficulty. If it is one-time affair, it is ok. But in the long run it is just a waste of resources, especially consciousness. It is limited, you know. I think a better approach may be to listen to your lazy part, what it has to say to you. To ask yourself, why is it hard to do what I'm doing. The answers might shock you. It can be some tiny thing. For example, my wife was complaining that i do not close the kitchen cupboard doors and wardrobe doors. You know, one of those little things that can poison your life. For some time I tried to close them. A lot of effort and lots of discipline. Then I've listened to my lazy part and realised that the cupboards and wardrobes are rather old soviet ones. I like them, they serve their purpose, but the door hinges don't close themselves completely and to close the door, I need to push it right to the end. Big deal. Can I learn it? Yes, eventually. Do I want to? Nope, but I want my wife to be happy. So i go to hardware store, buy new hinges for like 20 bucks, spend the evening to change the hinges. Problem solved, no need for discipline. If I was hard on myself, I probably would still be learning to close those doors. Ok, that was a very small problem. Let's go to everyone's favorite - waking up in the morning.
I was an owl. I still am. And I loved sleeping. Just doing it. I see dreams, I remember them, I love the feeling of sleepy trance, you know when you are half awake in the morning. I would go back to sleep if I only had a slightest chance. Well, not good for real life. So I started the "discipline" thing. (Insert all standard troubles here, ending in failure). Then one day I switched on the conscious and lazy parts. By that time I knew something about mental states and it dawned on me that my problem is not that I don't get enough sleep, it's just that my mind doesn't have the reliable way to go from "asleep" state to "awake and happy" state. So I started experimenting, and soon found out that to become fully awake I have to do three things. One - take a deep breath with my chest (instead of stomach). Two - switch from the sounds inside my head to the sounds in the real world (i don't like radio alarm, so I chose to listen to the cars outside my window). Three - focus my eyes enough (to do this I picked a small detail on the wallpaper pattern). If I do all three, my mind thinks I'm awake, If I don't it thinks I should be sleepy. And it doesn't matter how much did I sleep. I could wake up after like 10 hours of sleep at noon and still be sleepy untill I did "my thing". Now I can wake up at 4 am and feel great. I do not have use for it so i usually wake up at 9:30 am.
Having solved the "get up in the morning easily" problem, I know why "How to Become an Early Riser" is one of the most popular Steve's posts. It was great. Basic skill, yes, but I was so tired of trying to learn it, I was very happy.
Did it require discipline after my discovery. Yes, I had to remember to do my wake up sequence and it required conscious effort. But, knowing that I will get my guaranteed result at the end made it extremely easy and it settled into a habit in less then a week.

I understand what you mean with skills staying with you once their learnt, eg your example of bike riding, makes sense and the difference between learning and applying, well isn't the application the "discipline"? I mean to apply regularly until it becomes a habit?

Yes, application requires discipline. But not for 30 days. Humans are very fast learners if they do it right and it doesn't take 30 days of conscious effort to aquire the habit. If you need 30 days, it most likely means that either the skill is too hard for you, or you are learning it the hard way. 30 day trial is good to find out if you are and adjust how you do it.

Sorry if I'm muddling things up here (little confused), but when you say "skill" as in "If you need to do something regularly, treat it as a skill and learn it" do you mean habit?

No, when I say "skill", I mean "skill" as an ability, usually learned and acquired through training, to perform actions which achieve desired outcome. (Wikipedia definition).
When I say "habit", I do not use wikipedia definition, (may be I'm using the wrong word), but I mean the stage in learning the skill, when it goes to "autopilot" and requires no conscious effort. It may be connected with a certain time of the day or other condition, but not necessary.

'Cause this is how I currently perceive it like this:
1. You set a goal for yourself
2. This goal (just in my case) takes regular practice to achieve the level of mastery that I would like
3. Assign a certain amount of time for everyday practice to improve my ability in the given skill

I see it the same way.

4. Do this for 30 days to install as habit (so that it becomes effortless and I'll have more room in my head for other things (eg. installing new habits, tasks of the day etc))

Here I see the logical mistake, I've wrote above. The skill becomes a habit after a certain number of repetitions, but the nuber is not fixed and depends on the quality of feedback you are getting. If the feedback is bad, you can do it for ages and it still won't settle in. If the feedback is really strong, you can learn it in one go. If the feedback is optimal, you will learn fast and be in a "flow" state while you do it.

? It's how I currently understand it, 'cause things seem a little jumbled up here, I manage to do my stuff, but it can get exhausting, currently a lot of hair pulling involved =P

Try asking yourself, what makes it so hard.

Did you install habits one at a time? Or in a go? I've tried doing a few at a time, but as mentioned earlier they don't seem to be habits yet.

I try do them one at a time.

[Gabriel.B]

Hey Ilya
Thanks a lot for your posts, I appreciate the time and effort you're putting into helping XD

I'm slowly getting the feeling that I've over valued, or misunderstood the concept of self-discipline. You describe it as a "conscious tool" which takes resources and energy to apply (and therefor burns out after a while) which seems to make more sense to me.

In the end I want to do the following tasks on a daily basis but have them running on autopilot (habits) some of them are simply industry tasks but others like Exercises, Tai Chi, Linguistics and Drawing, I want as installed as habits to ensure constant progress in these skills.

06:00 up
Exercises (30 min)
Tai Chi (30 min)
Grooming
--------------------------------->Breakfast
Goals + Motivation
University----------------------->Lunch
Drawing (2 hours)
--------------------------------->Dinner
Linguistics (30 min)
Read (1 hour)
Journal
Water (2 liters)
Mac Max free (1 hour)
Max TV (2 hour)

Up until now I've managed very well, but it's exhausting 'cause I have to constantly put conscious effort into getting myself to do a task. Do you maybe think that it's maybe because they are tasks that are constantly progressing and changing that they're so difficult to install as habits? How would you approach this, if your goal was to master these skills and to do so you needed to practice regularly? And how would you approach the other regular tasks? (Not the skill ones)
Would you suggest starting with the easiest and doing it over a while, till I feel comfortable with doing it regularly (habit) and have a certain level of ability (skill)? What do you mean by "alternating schedule"?
To me it's little about getting rid of bad habits, it's a lot more about installing proper new ones.

Steve mentions it in this article at the beginning about installing habits, I can't find the article where he says it takes on average 25-30 days to install or de-install a habit. But in general, it's a matter of doing a given something regularly over a given amount of time and at some point it'll just be automatic, right?
You were saying that it depends on the results/feedback your getting, do you mean to say whether it's positive or not? For a habit to be successfully installed you need to receive positive feedback over a given amount of time? Maybe that's why the practicing hasn't settled in a habit yet, well yes and no. I have received good feedback, as in seeing progress in what I do etc, but then for Linguistics for eg. I'm currently setting up a plan (which has proven to be Very complicated) and there hasn't been any positive feedback on that one, but it varies, it can't always be positive can it? Do you mean, feel good when you say "positive feedback"?

Your view on laziness sounds interesting, I'll give my lazy voice a long listening. Would you suggest totally drop my plan for the moment as good way to listen to the "lazy voice"?

Cheers

[Ilya]

Hey, Bhairava!

I'm slowly getting the feeling that I've over valued, or misunderstood the concept of self-discipline. You describe it as a "conscious tool" which takes resources and energy to apply (and therefor burns out after a while) which seems to make more sense to me.

To be perfectly honest, I think it is possible to treat it as a skill in itself and eventually have "subconscious discipline", when you just make a quick mental note that you want something going on regularly and it will. Guess this would be nice, but I don't know yet how to do it.

In the end I want to do the following tasks on a daily basis but have them running on autopilot (habits) some of them are simply industry tasks but others like Exercises, Tai Chi, Linguistics and Drawing, I want as installed as habits to ensure constant progress in these skills.

Got it. A few thoughts.
First I'd ask you what's wrong? Why does it take you a lot of effort? If you didn't do the scheduled things (Excercises, Tai Chi, Linguistics, Drawings, Reading) what would you do instead? What you do when one day your schedule fails? Do you enjoy doing these things that you've scheduled?

While waiting for your answers, I'll make a few guesses on what the problem may be.
I've looked at your dayly schedule and I should say, you day is pretty packed. I see 7 hours scheduled explicitly. I don't know how long the rest of the activities take place but I guess it's at least a couple of hours not counting University. How long the things you want or must do daily
take?
One of the thoughts i've picked up from time management is that it is unrealistic to schedule more then 50% of the total available time. The schedule will look good on paper but will be very hard to maintain. Not because of laziness, but because our life is full of distractions. If you have several activities scheduled back to back and one takes longer then expected - the whole day turns into chaos. Maybe you just didn't mention it, but I don't see commuting (even if just walking from one campus building to another), I don't see hanging out with friends, I don't see taking a rest. I don't know what is Mac Max free or Max TV - may be it is hanging out with friends? In this case the schedule is relaxed at least in the evening.
So, maybe in the beginning schedule shorter amount of time for each activity and allow for "buffer space" between them.
Also, why do you allocate these amounts of time to each activity? Do they have to be in this order? Can you switch drawing and reading one day. Can you alternate - one day reading, one day drawing? May be you would prefer a little variety in your dayly routine?
I'm also curious why do you do both Excercises and Tai Chi? Can't you do just one but for an hour? Or alternate every other day? I know Tai Chi is "internal" martial art style, but it still can be pretty intensive. I also thought that it is actually better to excersise every other day then daily.

Up until now I've managed very well, but it's exhausting 'cause I have to constantly put conscious effort into getting myself to do a task.

What makes it difficult?

Do you maybe think that it's maybe because they are tasks that are constantly progressing and changing that they're so difficult to install as habits?

No, it is different in your case, I think. You know there are two different mindsets I use when approach tasks. One is goal driven - I need somethng done, how can I do it most efficiently? That's the approach I use when there iis some clear result that I want, to learn a skill, for example.

The other is process driven - from now on I will do this for the rest of my life whatever happens. Most often I don't really mean it. I use this approach for the tasks that just have to last. The simplest example is waiting for someone without knowing when they would come. The eternal personal development process is a more serious example.

In my experience, problems happen when I mix two together. For example if I expect that just doing something for a certain amount of time will bring me the results I want. This is just not true. If I'm doing a wrong thing, the correct results might never come.

So connected to this...

How would you approach this, if your goal was to master these skills and to do so you needed to practice regularly? And how would you approach the other regular tasks? (Not the skill ones)
Would you suggest starting with the easiest and doing it over a while, till I feel comfortable with doing it regularly (habit) and have a certain level of ability (skill)?

I would separate the habit of doing something regularly and actually getting results. For example, if I need to excersise daily, I would do it but lightly. Just to let my body know that I'm doing something different from the earlier habit.
When I get used to being in a certain place, at a certain time in a "work-out" state of mind, only then I would start doing the actual excersises. But when I do start, I would make sure I make the best of it. And with a habit of being there already installed it will be easier.

What do you mean by "alternating schedule"?

I mean that if you need to do reading and drawing, you can read on even days and draw on odd days. The benefits may be as good, but it is not too monotonous.

But in general, it's a matter of doing a given something regularly over a given amount of time and at some point it'll just be automatic, right?

Yes, but only when it has become easy enough. Autopilot switches on when the mind says - ok, this is so easy, I can't bother with spending conscious effort on it anymore.

You were saying that it depends on the results/feedback your getting, do you mean to say whether it's positive or not?

The feedback should let you know when you are doing better and when your are doing worse. But the positive is more useful It should be continous, it should be immediate, it should be strong enough for you to notice it. If these conditions are met learning happens much faster.

For a habit to be successfully installed you need to receive positive feedback over a given amount of time?

To learn a skill you need good (see above) feedback for as long as necessary. The better feedback is, the shorter the time is needed. Once the skill is learned to the point of unconscious competence, its simple repitition will turn it into a habit. When you are still stuggling with learning a skill, it is unlikely that it will settle into a habit.

Would you suggest totally drop my plan for the moment as good way to listen to the "lazy voice"?

No, you don't need to drop anything. You can "listen" while doing what you are doing. Actually, when you are doing and something goes wrong, that's the best time to listen to yourself.

[child]

As i understand you re not gaining self-discipline, you re just using willpower, in a way you re just forcing yourself to do something. You can not push yourself constantly.

- Check that you new habits are consistent with your purpose, values and goals.
- If you want to install a new habit, you should make it fun. For example if you want to exercise everyday, first make it a fun activity.
- Measure your progress to make it more fun and effective. Maybe you re just feeling that you re not going somewhere because you dont measure the way you have covered. I ll recommend journaling to record your feelings and review it from time to time.

[Gabriel.B]

Thanks a lot for the help guys!
Its been quite a lot of ideas and information youve thrown at me so Ill go mind map these things out and get down to thinking about it and trying out different aproaches.
Once again thx, and I hope to see you guys around once I come back to post the results and progress

Cheers

[Gabriel.B]

Hi Everyone,
It's been a while since I last posted and let me say BIG TIME THANK YOU to all of you!! Your advice has worked out magnificently, I've applied the suggestions and ideas you've all given me over the past month; Listening to the voice in my head, taking things one at a time, having clarity and focus, understanding habits and enjoying all of it
However .... Something very unexpected happened, an exceptional girl stepped into my life; we've been going out for almost 2 month now and so many things are happening, and it's all moving so fast I honestly said don't know what to do, there are rarely times I stop thinking about her and even if I force myself to sit down and get to work, my mind always drifts off. It's the first time I'm going out with someone and it's all new to me.
So I'd like to ask, does the distraction ever wear off? I've had moments where everything is just perfect and I can go on full speed towards my goals but most the times I just can't stop thinking about her, my mind will just wonder off and it's already been two months. Sometimes I'll think about the rough times we've pulled through and otherwise I'm just floating away....and I'm afraid to say I could do this for all too long....I am moving towards my goals, but they're blurry and it's slow, her picture seems far clearer, it seems everything else is none existent at times. But I'd like to find a balance and be able to focus on other things as well. At the beginning I didn't bother and thought it'd wear off in time, which it kind of did, but it's been 2 months and I feel like I've lost myself a bit....
Is this normal? Does it wear off? Is there a way to gain some focus again?

I'd be thankful for any insights