Want to come out of my negative mindset

[illusion85]

Hi

Most of my life, I was in negative mindset.
If I look back, I had only few things which I loved.
I see myself as very unlucky. I often feel that, I wont be with people whom I love. If am happy with anything or anyone, my mind says that it wont last longer

I feel my existence is waste

I want the people I love, around me and want to live my life with full positive heart. Whenever this thought comes up, the voice inside me says that, how will you get that ? You are bound to be unhappy.

I have read lot of PD articles, LOA books but currently I dont believe anything.

Would appreciate your help here.

PS: If this post is more whining, I apologize.

[AjaTrinidad]

It's hard to give you a really solid response without knowing more about you, but I can tell you this. For many years, I was the same way. I thought I was a waste and that the world would be a better place without me, so on and so forth.

When I look back on it now, I recognize it as me putting much too much focus on myself. Out of the billions of people that live on this Earth, I thought that my problems were more tragic than anyone else's, and that my non-existence would make everyone's life much better.

You will find what works for you. Try not to get overwhelmed by the extreme amount of information out there. Just take it in, process it for a bit, and do with it what you will. What worked most for me were the following two things:

1. Learning to view myself in a realistic light.
I did this by recording personal vlogs, starting in about 2004. I would record myself talking about my life and problems, for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. Then I watched the tapes back over and over, without judging anything about myself. After a couple of months doing this, I actually started to like myself. I came to adore my quirky mannerisms, and felt sympathy for "me" hoping that "I" would find a better way for myself.

2. I started focusing on other people.
I've always liked helping other people, but often when I was feeling really down, I pushed myself to be in the presence of someone who could use my help. Whether it was a child that I was caring for, or a friend who was struggling in life, or a family member who needed a shoulder to lean on. By realizing that everyone needs help in some way or another, I came to understand that my problems really didn't deserve all of the dramatic attention that I gave them.

If you wish, you might want to explore where you think your negative mindset came from. For me, exploration of where all of my negativity and self-doubt came from allowed me to release a lot of pain and suffering that I didn't even know I was holding on to.

Best of luck to you...

[illusion85]

Thanks Aja
Glad you understand what I feel

I wish to do your methods.
Will update you, how I go on with those.

Thanks for the reply.
I appreciate it =)

[Angela]

Originally Posted by illusion85

....my mind says .... the voice inside me says....

Who is your mind? Who is the voice inside you?

As Richard Bandler asks, "Who is driving the bus?"

[AjaTrinidad]

Originally Posted by illusion85

Thanks Aja
Glad you understand what I feel

I wish to do your methods.
Will update you, how I go on with those.

Thanks for the reply.
I appreciate it =)

No problem...

[growwithstacy]

I understand how it feels to be stuck in a negative thought pattern. I spent a long time speaking negatively to myself, thinking negative thoughts, believing negative beliefs.

One thing that I can tell you is that what we allow ourselves to think becomes our entire belief system and also our reality.

If you expect negative things you will not only be on the lookout for them but then you also tell yourself, "See I knew that would happen" and you have a self fulling prophecy. You will continue in the cycle.

But if you have a different set of beliefs and thoughts you will react differently to the same negative things that happen in life. Instead of giving into the negativity of it you will be able to say, "This is a challenge to conquer" and look for the good in the situation and you will find ways that you can grow and learn from the experience. When it is all said and done you will feel on top of the world.

The only difference between those two scenarios are the mindsets. I have seen many instances where two people go through the same difficulty and the negative person digs themselves deeper into a hole whereas the other person comes out a better person. The second person isn't better than the first, they just chose to handle the situation and their thoughts differently.

The thoughts that you think have so much power and they even wire your brain into different patterns. It's amazing how it works! See "The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science" by Norman Doidge M.D.

I would suggest that you think of about three to five beliefs that you want to believe but you don't yet. Then write them down on note cards and read them at least 5 times a day, even saying them out loud. You will eventually start to believe them and you will be able to create a new belief system for yourself! You probably don't even think that it will make a difference (I've been there too!) but you will surprise yourself when you start to see changes in the way that you think and look at things.

[Rad]

Hi illusion85:

The first word of advice is that you need to know that you are not alone. There are many of us that feel imprisoned by these same feelings and emotions.

It is a challenging task that we are confronted with when feeling this way but YOU CAN OVERCOME your situation.

Here's what I have started doing to help myself to face my challenges.

I started a personal journal and started to write about my life, beginning with my childhood.

As I write my way through the moments and flashes of my past, I analyze areas of my life where my emotions and negative thoughts started to take place.

I determine if someone or something may have had an impact on me to feel the way that I do today.

Listen, it is a lot of work and it can be very emotional but it will help you break the chains that are holding you back.

For example, I always thought that my parents were to be blamed for the way I am but despite my upbringing, I have determined through my journal writings that I can not blame them for their parenting methods because they had it worse than me.

It turns out that I can only take responsibility for myself and my actions.

You will be amazed how great this can be and how writing your emotions can help you go back and re-read your life events to learn more of yourself.

I hope this truly helps and please know that you have a friend here...Rad