Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

st33med · 08-01-2010, 12:06 AM

I have some little gremlin in me that pops up every now and then. Whatever it is, I start feeling down about myself, realizing that I am not feeling great about myself. I compare myself so unfairly against everyone, and I don't want to. Those people are not me, but then they are....

Why am I comparing myself? I feel like comparing myself against others unfairly and I don't know why. I can't seem to pin the issue down.

Another thing I feel when I am in these moods is like I don't contribute enough. I don't act responsible enough. It feels true and it makes me sad. I don't take showers everyday or even brush my teeth. I don't exercise. I don't get things done on time. I feel like I am not a help on this forum sometimes.

I just want help with my life now. I feel like crap.

Thanks,
Andrew

Angela · 08-01-2010, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

I don't contribute enough. I don't act responsible enough. It feels true and it makes me sad. I don't take showers everyday or even brush my teeth. I don't exercise. I don't get things done on time. I feel like I am not a help on this forum sometimes.

"....and that all means that I am ________."

st33med · 08-01-2010, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angela

"....and that all means that I am ________."

I am not responsible?

secrets0stolen · 08-01-2010, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

I am not responsible?

You've said responsible several times, so there's some thing here. Try stating this without a 'not' or 'ir'

Angela · 08-01-2010, 12:13 AM

"I am not responsible and that means that I am ______." It'll hit you like a ton of bricks.

st33med · 08-01-2010, 12:14 AM

I am lazy? I don't know...

Angela · 08-01-2010, 12:19 AM

Well, if you're inspired, think on it. When you unconceal it from yourself, you'll notice it's running you everywhere -- in every area of your life. It may make you gasp or it may make you laugh out loud, but it will knock your socks off when you see it.

Another way to get to it is to ask your unconscious mind: when was the earliest time I felt this way? This "not enough" compared to other people feeling. How old were you? What time of day was it? Who was there? What was said? What happened?

And: what did you decide about yourself? Like: "I am ______."

st33med · 08-01-2010, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, if you're inspired, think on it. When you unconceal it from yourself, you'll notice it's running you everywhere -- in every area of your life. It may make you gasp or it may make you laugh out loud, but it will knock your socks off when you see it.

Another way to get to it is to ask your unconscious mind: when was the earliest time I felt this way? This "not enough" compared to other people feeling. How old were you? What time of day was it? Who was there? What was said? What happened?

And: what did you decide about yourself? Like: "I am ______."

It has been running my whole entire life. I feel on top of the world one moment and then a gremlin strikes me down. I know I contribute here, but I just don't feel it and it interrupts my ability to give advice.

This goes back long time ago. I feel it. I don't know if I can remember it, but I will do this.

Angela · 08-01-2010, 12:30 AM

Just allow yourself to remember the last time, even if it was a week ago. Then remember the time before that, and so on, as far back as your unconscious mind wants to take you.

lifetimelearner · 08-01-2010, 12:35 AM

Andrew listen to angela she know her shizno !

hope u feel better

BillyTheAdult · 08-01-2010, 12:39 AM

Quote:

and that all means that I am ________." .

Quote:

Try stating this without a 'not' or 'ir'

Where did this whole line of questioning come from? I know james81 does it and now I see the two of you are obviously quite familiar with it too. It seems pretty effective and if their is a specific book or name to this method or something like that I would like to look into it.

st33med · 08-01-2010, 12:39 AM

I remember first grade. I remember a math kid being able to do way better math than I could. He could multiply bigger numbers than I could. I felt hopeless compared to him.

I am hopeless... no that doesn't fit.

I want to remember. What's wrong...???

st33med · 08-01-2010, 12:43 AM

I felt left behind then. I feel like I am not able to catch up. I lost my chance to do something...

Angela · 08-01-2010, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

Where did this whole line of questioning come from? I know james81 does it and now I see the two of you are obviously quite familiar with it too. It seems pretty effective and if their is a specific book or name to this method or something like that I would like to look into it.

It's something I've put together, culled from many techniques put together to get the fastest and most effective results I've found.

BillyTheAdult · 08-01-2010, 12:47 AM

uhh I'm gonna need you to answer that in book form.

Seriously though Would it be possible for you to make a thread that lays out this method? I understand if you say it is proprietary or something like that, but it would be greatly appreciated.

rei · 08-01-2010, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

I felt left behind then. I feel like I am not able to catch up. I lost my chance to do something...

Andrew, just wanted to say - you're making progress! The little buggers like to hide but I have faith in you to bring it forward when the time is right.

I hope you can also think of *something* fun to do tonight.

Oh, and this is weird but I wanted to give you some props for your honesty in the OP. Takes guts to be that honest publicly - kudos!

Angela · 08-01-2010, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

uhh I'm gonna need you to answer that in book form.

Seriously though Would it be possible for you to make a thread that lays out this method? I understand if you say it is proprietary or something like that, but it would be greatly appreciated.

Watch this thread! You'll see the identification part of it here in the forums .. the other part ... the generation of inspiring possibility ... is experiential, and is done one-on-one with those who choose to go there. I could describe it, but I don't think that would tell you much.

st33med · 08-01-2010, 01:16 AM

Thank you rei. It's so frustrating right now. I am ridiculously sad because I want this gremlin to come forward. It's been around me my whole life.

It's made me not develop healthy habits. It makes me sad that I cannot be able to form habits strongly. I fall off them so easily, even if it has been a week of doing something so simple like brushing my teeth!

I feel like it's a waste of time, even though I know that is not the true issue.

I don't want to stop pursuing this gremlin because I fear I might fall off and feel normal and then have this gremlin stab me in the ass over and over and over again.

Angela · 08-01-2010, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

It's made me not develop healthy habits. It makes me sad that I cannot be able to form habits strongly. I fall off them so easily...

.... and that means that "I am ___."

You're doing great, by the way. Frustration is the gremlin's way of getting you to quit trying to bring it into the light.

st33med · 08-01-2010, 01:21 AM

I intend this gremlin to come forth and stop ruining my life.

I want to stop being such a lazy ass. I want to feel like I contribute and keep DOING it. I want to brush my teeth in the morning to keep it clean and KEEP doing it.

I am irresponsible, and that means I am ____.

Incapable?

I am incapable, and that means I am ____.

eeerrrrghhhh......

secrets0stolen · 08-01-2010, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

I intend this gremlin to come forth and stop ruining my life.

I want to stop being such a lazy ass. I want to feel like I contribute and keep DOING it. I want to brush my teeth in the morning to keep it clean and KEEP doing it.

I am irresponsible, and that means I am ____.

Incapable?

I am incapable, and that means I am ____.

eeerrrrghhhh......

What do you associate responsibility with throughout your life? What have your parents associated it with that you have perhaps taken on? If you are a responsible person, what does it make you? Does it make you worthy? Good? Anything else?

st33med · 08-01-2010, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by secrets0stolen

What do you associate responsibility with throughout your life? What have your parents associated it with that you have perhaps taken on? If you are a responsible person, what does it make you? Does it make you worthy? Good? Anything else?

I associate responsibility with being successful. It also means I have lots of lots of tasks to do that I do without complaining or failing to do it.

*feels like throwing a chair through the window*

Angela · 08-01-2010, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

*feels like throwing a chair through the window*

Great! You're on the verge of something big! (You may want to jump up and down and punch it out, rather than putting a chair through the window.)

And when you're ready - look again. When was the earliest time you felt this feeling, this incapable, irresponsible feeling? How old were you? Who was there? What was said? What happened?

And what did you decide about yourself?

The belief itself often acts to keep itself hidden.

rei · 08-01-2010, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

I associate responsibility with being successful. It also means I have lots of lots of tasks to do that I do without complaining or failing to do it.

*feels like throwing a chair through the window*

Deep breath.
And another.

You're doing great!

If you are not responsible, what are you?

st33med · 08-01-2010, 01:47 AM

I don't know. I keep going farther back from first grade and I cannot find anything.

I remember when I stopped teeth brushing as a habit. Me and my father did not have running water in a cabin, so we skipped a day of brushing. I felt it wasn't necessary anymore. I kept skipping brushing my teeth. I don't know why. I don't remember the age or year of this.

I am drawing major blanks when I keep going back. I am frusturated as HELL.

I cannot think of anything that tells me what fills in the blank for what I am....

GAH!

Angela · 08-01-2010, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

II cannot find anything.

I cannot think of anything (

ssandra · 08-01-2010, 01:57 AM

what helped for me is to pretend you are a child again... Including the stomping your foot up and down and curling up on the couch with a blanket as a comfort...

What would you as a child (think very young child from before you could remember) answer to the question:

"and that means that I am......"

st33med · 08-01-2010, 01:59 AM

I am incapable and irresponsible because I am not in control of my life.

I am not in control of my life...
Is that it? I can't control anything about me?
It makes sense. So much more sense. But why can't I control my life; I have all the abilities to carpe diem

I am still not sure about this...

lifetimelearner · 08-01-2010, 02:00 AM

breathe sweetie -get it all out

secrets0stolen · 08-01-2010, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st33med

I am incapable and irresponsible because I am not in control of my life.

I am not in control of my life...
Is that it? I can't control anything about me?
It makes sense. So much more sense. But why can't I control my life; I have all the abilities to carpe diem

I am still not sure about this...

I think control is getting closer! Your making progress! Where does that lead you?

08-01-2010, 12:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	In a little rut I have some little gremlin in me that pops up every now and then. Whatever it is, I start feeling down about myself, realizing that I am not feeling great about myself. I compare myself so unfairly against everyone, and I don't want to. Those people are not me, but then they are.... Why am I comparing myself? I feel like comparing myself against others unfairly and I don't know why. I can't seem to pin the issue down. Another thing I feel when I am in these moods is like I don't contribute enough. I don't act responsible enough. It feels true and it makes me sad. I don't take showers everyday or even brush my teeth. I don't exercise. I don't get things done on time. I feel like I am not a help on this forum sometimes. I just want help with my life now. I feel like crap. Thanks, Andrew

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08-01-2010, 12:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	"I am not responsible and that means that I am ______." It'll hit you like a ton of bricks.

08-01-2010, 12:14 AM	#6 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	I am lazy? I don't know...

08-01-2010, 12:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	Well, if you're inspired, think on it. When you unconceal it from yourself, you'll notice it's running you everywhere -- in every area of your life. It may make you gasp or it may make you laugh out loud, but it will knock your socks off when you see it. Another way to get to it is to ask your unconscious mind: when was the earliest time I felt this way? This "not enough" compared to other people feeling. How old were you? What time of day was it? Who was there? What was said? What happened? And: what did you decide about yourself? Like: "I am ______."

08-01-2010, 12:30 AM	#9 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	Just allow yourself to remember the last time, even if it was a week ago. Then remember the time before that, and so on, as far back as your unconscious mind wants to take you.

08-01-2010, 12:35 AM	#10 (permalink)
lifetimelearner Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia Posts: 11,359	Andrew listen to angela she know her shizno ! hope u feel better

08-01-2010, 12:39 AM	#12 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	I remember first grade. I remember a math kid being able to do way better math than I could. He could multiply bigger numbers than I could. I felt hopeless compared to him. I am hopeless... no that doesn't fit. I want to remember. What's wrong...???

08-01-2010, 12:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	I felt left behind then. I feel like I am not able to catch up. I lost my chance to do something...

08-01-2010, 12:47 AM	#15 (permalink)
BillyTheAdult Family Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Funny location joke Posts: 2,056	uhh I'm gonna need you to answer that in book form. Seriously though Would it be possible for you to make a thread that lays out this method? I understand if you say it is proprietary or something like that, but it would be greatly appreciated.

08-01-2010, 01:16 AM	#18 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	Thank you rei. It's so frustrating right now. I am ridiculously sad because I want this gremlin to come forward. It's been around me my whole life. It's made me not develop healthy habits. It makes me sad that I cannot be able to form habits strongly. I fall off them so easily, even if it has been a week of doing something so simple like brushing my teeth! I feel like it's a waste of time, even though I know that is not the true issue. I don't want to stop pursuing this gremlin because I fear I might fall off and feel normal and then have this gremlin stab me in the ass over and over and over again.

08-01-2010, 01:21 AM	#20 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	I intend this gremlin to come forth and stop ruining my life. I want to stop being such a lazy ass. I want to feel like I contribute and keep DOING it. I want to brush my teeth in the morning to keep it clean and KEEP doing it. I am irresponsible, and that means I am ____. Incapable? I am incapable, and that means I am ____. eeerrrrghhhh......

08-01-2010, 01:47 AM	#25 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	I don't know. I keep going farther back from first grade and I cannot find anything. I remember when I stopped teeth brushing as a habit. Me and my father did not have running water in a cabin, so we skipped a day of brushing. I felt it wasn't necessary anymore. I kept skipping brushing my teeth. I don't know why. I don't remember the age or year of this. I am drawing major blanks when I keep going back. I am frusturated as HELL. I cannot think of anything that tells me what fills in the blank for what I am.... GAH!

08-01-2010, 01:57 AM	#27 (permalink)
ssandra Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Mexico City Posts: 11,168	what helped for me is to pretend you are a child again... Including the stomping your foot up and down and curling up on the couch with a blanket as a comfort... What would you as a child (think very young child from before you could remember) answer to the question: "and that means that I am......"

08-01-2010, 01:59 AM	#28 (permalink)
st33med Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,829	I am incapable and irresponsible because I am not in control of my life. I am not in control of my life... Is that it? I can't control anything about me? It makes sense. So much more sense. But why can't I control my life; I have all the abilities to carpe diem I am still not sure about this...

08-01-2010, 02:00 AM	#29 (permalink)
lifetimelearner Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia Posts: 11,359	breathe sweetie -get it all out

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

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