I feel like I'm being strangled sometimes.

[bluephoenix]

Can anyone recommend a life coaching bootcamp-type book or series or maybe even a life coach? I feel like I'm trying to do mining but am moving slowly because I don't have enough tools, and am constantly drained.....and the rock starts falling on me. Would appreciate suggestions for anyone who makes it a bit clearer. Yes Steve is one of those.

[Plays With Life]

I don't know any particular books / coaches .. but if I were feeling drained, I would probably try some of these things:

Bach Flower Remedies
And these Emotion Tools
Or possibly Homeopathy - you can tell a homeopath exactly what you're feeling, and they'll find some particular remedies to resolve it.

All of those tools offer ways to resolve drained / heavy feelings.

[IEvo]

What are your goals? What is it you're looking for in a life coach? If you're a little more specific I can probably throw some resources your way.

[bluephoenix]

Originally Posted by IEvo

What are your goals? What is it you're looking for in a life coach? If you're a little more specific I can probably throw some resources your way.

That's part of the problem, I have a difficult time clarifying goals. The biggest goal I have is to be completely different. I'm tired of absolutely hating my life and hating myself for living this way. Im getting better, just keep getting stuck.

The area where I need the most help is career/money. I'm like a little kid and live with my mommy, I have rotten credit, unimpressive work experience with gaps. Im a smart, capable person who cant focus and followthrough. So in a life coach I'm really looking for someone to tell me to cut the crap and to help me followthrough. I need a great deal of structure, on my own I just spin wheels and feel sorry for myself.

Im whining, I dont know if thats what you were looking for.

[bluephoenix]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

I don't know any particular books / coaches .. but if I were feeling drained, I would probably try some of these things:

Bach Flower Remedies
And these Emotion Tools
Or possibly Homeopathy - you can tell a homeopath exactly what you're feeling, and they'll find some particular remedies to resolve it.

All of those tools offer ways to resolve drained / heavy feelings.

I will give them a try, thank you very much. Homeopathy especially seems a good idea but I can get started on those other things today.

[moriez]

Originally Posted by bluephoenix

The biggest goal I have is to be completely different.

If you set your mind on this you have to realise that your goal is in the future.
You cannot be different right now how hard you wish for it or how much you hate your life right now. Instead, try the route of acceptance. Try to accept yourself and your life fully the way it is now. Not to say that thats the end of it. No, the opposite. This is your starting point and you slowly start working towards your goal which is in the so-called future.

Acceptance should bring you some more inner peace and joy so your life is more bearable while you work to where you want be. All there is is now. Thats were you live.

[IEvo]

bluephoenix,

All right, well that's certainly a start! =)

I *just* wrote this article on goals, so you should check it out. It will prevent this from being a huge monster post. You don't have to, but I think it applies to your situation: How setting goals plays a huge part in achieving them. | Implicate Evolution

So, you want to improve your situation with money. Two things are involved in that. You should set a short term goal and a long term goal: How much money do you want eventually, and what would you like to change in the near future to bring you into a better financial situation?

First thing is first: You said you have a bad credit rating. This is a bit of a personal question, so don't feel pressured into answering it. Are you in any debt right now? If so, your first priority should be to get yourself out of debt.

Secondly, career-wise, do you know what you want to do? If not, can you think of anything you would like to do, or that you would find tolerable to do while you're trying to figure out what you would love to do with your life? What is it? What obstacles lie in your path?

What work experience do you have?

Let's forget about the rest of your life right now and just focus on the money aspect, as it's really difficult to get the rest of your life in order if you're worried about money all the time. I know that's difficult to do and that you really want to change everything, but you'll see bigger changes sooner if you narrow your focus.

If you answer those questions, I can help you start moving towards your goals.

[bluephoenix]

Originally Posted by IEvo

bluephoenix,

If you answer those questions, I can help you start moving towards your goals.

Hi again, I would love to focus on money, it is the primary cause of my self-loathing and would make living here more bearable.

The field I am about to enter (with no experience) is not one I would choose and I fear I sabotage it to say so. But it will take a few months at least which I feel is a death sentence. My mother is understandably frustrated with my partial financial dependence and almost abusive in her disrespect of me. You would think this motivates me but it does not? since I am still sitting here.

Mostly I cant think of what concrete steps to take to make enough cash in this situation to move out. The specifics I am not comfortable sharing here. I will take a look at the article, thank you.

[machoman]

Hi bluephoenix,
Why not try Sedona method?
The Sedona Method (official site) Self Help Program by Hale Dwoskin

[Shariku Onikage]

If you want to be completely different mate, one of the first thing you've got to establish is what being completely different means. What does this entail? What will you be like when you get there? Will you hear a little ding and get told you've leveled up? Or will you just find yourself no longer concerned with trying to be something because you already accomplished it and didn't even notice when you got there.

Break it down. Write what you want to be. Write what you don't want to be. Write what you want to obtain and write what you want to get rid of. Improving yourself will take small stages so work to better yourself in small stages. Do't expect huge leaps to success, don't expect anyone to lead you by the hand and don't just sit there thinking about it. You say you're not motivated, but you're on this site aren't you? You should see that as a next perfect step and keep going from there.

[pyrogen]

If you're kind of an unfocused, "flowy", "floaty" kind of person, which it sounds like you are, it sounds like you might benefit from a more visual, linear, left-brained approach to this problem. Something that'll keep you on task.

Get a stack of line paper. The boring kind that goes in binders.

You're going to do three things.

Before you do that, get a binder. I don't care what you call it, "My Life Binder" is fine. Fill it up with line paper, and put dividers in it.

1) Label one divider "goals".
First, make a list of the things which you need to accomplish. For example, you mentioned having bad credit and living with your mom, and having a spotty work history.

Now, prioritize these in terms of what is the easiest thing to deal with.

Then, get a second piece of paper, listing all the goals in order of priority.
Make columns and label them "date started" "steps needed to complete" and check off the steps as you complete them. Then, of course, add "date completed". It'll be easier to visualize if I just show you. I'll make a blog entry about this and put pix up on my blog, in the next few days.

2) Now label another divider "Time".
This'll be where you chart your time management. This is just an exercise to see how much of your time you're using, and how.

Put the date at the top of a piece of paper, and make a column on the left-hand side (leaving space to right on the right-hand side).

Go down the page listing the times, starting with the time you wake up. For example -

7am
730
8
830
.
.
.

Now, list what you do with your time.

For example:

7am lay in bed for extra half hour
730 shower (15 mins), start breakfast
8 eat breakfast
830 walk dog
9 do chores - 9-11am
11 play on XBox or surf the web
1130 work on my computer program or painting

Now, get a set of highlighter pens: for example, blue, green, orange, yellow and pink. Start highlighting the stuff on that page.

Pink = what they call Activities of Daily Living. Showering, eating, etc.
Blue = Chores, Paperwork, paying bills, etc.
Green = Socializing (in person)
Orange = Reading, Productive Hobbies, Pursuing Interests
Yellow = Time Kill (web surfing, email, video games, TV)

We're going to look at how much time you spend doing each of these activities, and what they are. You'll get a good idea of how you spend your time this way.

If the issue is being low on energy and not having enough time, then perhaps you need to find a way to make your Blue category more efficient. There are more efficient and energy-saving ways to do chores, and they can perhaps be scheduled differently or delegated. Bill paying can be automated on the computer.

Next, look at your Yellow activities and see how much time they take up.

Now - we're going to look at your Orange and Green categories.

These will tell us something about what you should be doing for a living. If half of your page is green, then you probably should work with people. If a tiny sliver is green but a huge amount is orange, you're likely an introvert. If much of your page is orange - your interests will give you a good idea of what you should be doing.

Anyway, that's that, I'm going to actually write this up as a blog post with illustrations... but it'll take a few days to get put up.

[bluephoenix]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

If you're kind of an unfocused, "flowy", "floaty" kind of person, which it sounds like you are, it sounds like you might benefit from a more visual, linear, left-brained approach to this problem. Something that'll keep you on task.

Anyway, that's that, I'm going to actually write this up as a blog post with illustrations... but it'll take a few days to get put up.

I would love to read your blog post. I already know yellow takes up most of my time, with pink and orange being next. I think the biggest problem is that I feel so paralyzed/strangled by my negative feelings sometimes that yellow/orange is all I can do without feeling like a total failure. Posting here is even a little painful.

The worst stressor is my mother, I meditated for half an hour and felt great. An hour later, after an insulting, degrading tirade from her that ended with a threat to throw me out, I feel unsafe, afraid, alone.

Will look into Sedona.

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by bluephoenix

I would love to read your blog post. I already know yellow takes up most of my time, with pink and orange being next. I think the biggest problem is that I feel so paralyzed/strangled by my negative feelings sometimes that yellow/orange is all I can do without feeling like a total failure. Posting here is even a little painful.

The worst stressor is my mother, I meditated for half an hour and felt great. An hour later, after an insulting, degrading tirade from her that ended with a threat to throw me out, I feel unsafe, afraid, alone.

Will look into Sedona.

Just to keep you updated, I'm working on the post - I don't have it ready to put up yet, but it should be ready soon.

Hope all is going well.