Crappy job, feel trapped

[BillyTheAdult]

I don't exactly know which section to post this under but this is my best guess.

I about I year ago came to the conclusion that I felt pretty complete except in the area of needing
1. A fulfilling relationship.

2. A job that gives me financial independence. (I was 28 now 29, living with my parents.)

I understand that a woman wants a man who has financial independence, so he can afford to take her on dates, occasionally buy gifts, and eventually support the two of them. I'm not complaining, I find this very reasonable. I have needs I want met too.

So having not completed college I quickly trained for a blue collar type job. After about six months of training, and a couple of months of looking, I got a job. however I hate it. Furthermore I think it is very bad for me and is going to hinder if not regress growth in all other areas of my life. It is 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, sometimes 6 and the money is very good. But I have problems with depression, feeling okay about myself, socializing with others, and meeting women. I have enormous progress over the last year, to the point that I am probably above average in these areas (except meeting women, which I'm working on.) as a result for the last month especially, I have felt great, like I am finally where I am supposed to be, I have made it, etc. But this usually takes at least a couple of hours a day of "working on it" to stay this way.

Then starts the job. It sucks, it's draining all my energy. I have to get up at like five AM and don't get home till about 5:30 - 6 PM. By this time I am so tired I don't have time or energy to do the things I need to do for me. I pretty much take care of daily chores (mail, e-mail, phone calls, making dinner, cleaning up, etc) then it's time for bed. It has only been four days and I already feel the progress I have made slipping away and at a rapid pace. I am suddenly depressed again, feel victimized by everything, feel like the chances of meeting a woman are none b/c i don't have 1.time 2.a positive state of mind.

So I realize that maybe I should just go back to school but I can't afford to do that if I can't support myself, which I need a job for. I feel very trapped and it has only been four days!! This is not how I want to live out the rest of my life. The point of getting this job was so I could finally start really living my life for real. I Feel like it has abruptly brought to an end any chance of that in just a few days and that the longer I go the worse it will get. Not to mention the toll it is taking on my body as far as energy level. I literally am too drained to even stand after I get home. And the possibility of being seriously injured on the job is high. Pretty much the guarantee of minor injury (I am already covered in small cuts and burns.) This is not even remotely close to the life I want for myself. I would like suggestions please.

[James81]

I have been toying with the idea of putting together a session to help people with this issue (because it's an issue I have also faced and I remember how hopeless it felt), and today I felt inspired to come in here and offer for you to be the first.

It would be an IM session at this time, but I think I've got a lot of things that could help you in this regard.

No charge or anything because I'm still gathering ideas on how to make it work. If you're interested, PM me.

[Broadsword]

Why don't you look for a new job, or something similar that has less hours?

[BillyTheAdult]

well it is such a crappy job market, it took me quite a while to find this job. I have been looking when I can but that is where the part about literally all of time being taken up by it already comes in. When I do have free time I am so physically exhausted I can hardly imagine spending it all doing a job search or much of anything else, hence the feeling trapped. Even inbetween these posts I am on the internet looking.

[metamorph]

What do you do exactly as a job?

How come you did not save anything in the last 10 years esp if you live with your parents?

Changing jobs (even if it is not better paid) may be a good step if only for being in a different job, so there is something new and a new learning curve. This alone should get you further and improve your mood. A monotonous job that does not challenge will drain you in the long run.

Taking evenig classes is a good idea too. I know you feel tired, but the alternative is to keep doing what you have been doing and staying put. I know how hard it is, I often work 60+ hours per week. There are even some people here in UK that work 2 jobs (yes: 2x 8 hours per day. Not sure if it is legal.). Rather than worrying about money and women, I would think about what job you want to have in the long run and work towards getting it. With a goal in mind it is doable.

[Futhark]

Originally Posted by metamorph

What do you do exactly as a job?

How come you did not save anything in the last 10 years esp if you live with your parents?

Changing jobs (even if it is not better paid) may be a good step if only for being in a different job, so there is something new and a new learning curve. This alone should get you further and improve your mood. A monotonous job that does not challenge will drain you in the long run.

Taking evenig classes is a good idea too. I know you feel tired, but the alternative is to keep doing what you have been doing and staying put. I know how hard it is, I often work 60+ hours per week. There are even some people here in UK that work 2 jobs (yes: 2x 8 hours per day. Not sure if it is legal.). Rather than worrying about money and women, I would think about what job you want to have in the long run and work towards getting it. With a goal in mind it is doable.

Sad but true...you just have to find that extra energy. It will come from somewhere. Move out from the parent's house, that way you will really have to find something and thrive. "Necessity is the mother of invention".

Oh and with women, you really don't need a fancy car, buy her gifts, etc. Just be independent, have goals that you are aspiring towards and she will respect you. No one is perfect and most people aren't currently on a lucky streak. But with life you really have to be persistent. Once you have your life set up like this, I guarantee you the right woman will come along. It's how this crazy world works.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Noelle]

I'm so sorry you are feeling trapped! *hugs* I think the best thing to do is to stick with the job until you've saved enough money to go to school, or until you find a different job. It's only been 4 days though, you might get used to it after a while, hang in there! And as for women, it's not true you have to be financially stable before women will date you, a good heart and a kind disposition and above all confidence in yourself is all you really need! Good luck my friend

[ninjagreg]

Man I''m right with you on this way. I bounced around from job to job for 3 years after college. I've lived in 4 states in the last 2 years. It finally took me going to rehab (other issues going on in my life) before I met my woman. You will find what you are looking for but it may take time.

[machoman]

I know how you feel because I had a similar experience Iam now experiencing. So Let me share what I did with my problem. Well, I have to go to college everyday,which I don't like because I was not getting the grades that I am expected from others. But I love music more than anything else and infact I found a new passion thatI would love to do everyday. But my parents had a difficult time getting me in one of the best engineering colleges in the state I live. Also many people warn that it might be very difficult for me to make a career in music because one should start learning music from very early age.I started taking lessons in music for about 2 hours a day(which I started 10 months back). And I also started finding ways to make my college life more productive and interesting. Then I started attending a memory course(pmemory,which Iam currently doing) which, iam finding it very useful. And slowly my marks increased from 30%(in my first internals) to 70%(in my third internals)
As a result of all this I started loving my college life
So, in future, I might decide between these two career choices.

I know you feel very disappointed about your job. And I think you have no other choice other than staying on that job since you want to be financially independent. So my suggestion is to you: Find some ways to make your work more enjoyable and lovable. Brainstorm with this idea until you find one thing useful.Read motivational books to keep you on the track. (These are the things that Iam actually doing, Iam not telling this just for the sake of giving advice to you )

So let me stress this point: Find ways to make your job more enjoyable to you! I believe happiness will come naturally to those who love their work since that is what they do the most everyday! Steve has explained it neatly in his book(in the chapter "love"). So you might want to read it.

Hope this might be useful.

Uh, Just to give you some ideas, visit these links:

How to love your job - Google Search


How to Love the Job You’ve Got Power to Change

[lifetimelearner]

have you made any progress billy ?

[BillyTheAdult]

I don't really know what to say. Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions. I honestly don't feel much better about the whole thing. But I guess I have no real choice but to just keep going for now until I figure out a reasonable, doable option. I mean I can try to change my mindset, but in the end I really need to change the actual, physical situation. Thanks again.

[James81]

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

I don't really know what to say. Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions. I honestly don't feel much better about the whole thing. But I guess I have no real choice but to just keep going for now until I figure out a reasonable, doable option. I mean I can try to change my mindset, but in the end I really need to change the actual, physical situation. Thanks again.

You never responded to my last PM. Was Friday ok?

[Angelique]

Maybe it would be too big of a mental/emotional jump to consider. But
I really enjoyed and was inspired by ALG in these posts.
For money, this is all a bunch of BS

He talks about how he used intention/manifestation to produce dramatic results in his life.


I'm in a very similar situation of what you described, by the way.

[rei]

Billy, I am wondering if you might feel a little more comfortable with the situation once you've adjusted to it? Say give it 30 days - by then couldn't your sleep schedule have gelled and perhaps you'll have a bit of a groove?

By the way, there's women out there who will not write someone off just because he isn't an optimist. Just so you know

[BillyTheAdult]

I have already adjusted some to the physical demands. I am afraid the longer I stay the harder it will be to do anything about it. I am thinking what I would like to do is take some online classes. With already accumulated credits I could probably have an associates degree in less than a year. With the schedule they work there it will be very hard. 10 hours a day, 5 days a week (plus about 35 min. commute each way), with overtime beyond that sometimes required. Right now I am in training so I only work 4 days a week, which is why I'm in such a hurry. Right now I have one day a week in which I can find new work. Once that is gone I just don't know how I would even look for a different job. Plus how will I find time for even online classes with this schedule.

As far as the dating aspect of it...Well, once again thanks for being supportive. I don't actually think all(certainly some do)women think I have to have money to be dateable. I have actually run into the problem of once I meet someone, it feels good to be able to go out, to have my own place to take them to. It's not that they are looking for a guy with money, simply the logistics of being a 29 year old trying to date without it, is not easy.

So I am going to spend my Friday looking for other jobs and at whatever other options may be available. If the thread is still going when any occur, I will post updates.

[James81]

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

I have already adjusted some to the physical demands. I am afraid the longer I stay the harder it will be to do anything about it. I am thinking what I would like to do is take some online classes. With already accumulated credits I could probably have an associates degree in less than a year. With the schedule they work there it will be very hard. 10 hours a day, 5 days a week (plus about 35 min. commute each way), with overtime beyond that sometimes required. Right now I am in training so I only work 4 days a week, which is why I'm in such a hurry. Right now I have one day a week in which I can find new work. Once that is gone I just don't know how I would even look for a different job. Plus how will I find time for even online classes with this schedule.

As far as the dating aspect of it...Well, once again thanks for being supportive. I don't actually think all(certainly some do)women think I have to have money to be dateable. I have actually run into the problem of once I meet someone, it feels good to be able to go out, to have my own place to take them to. It's not that they are looking for a guy with money, simply the logistics of being a 29 year old trying to date without it, is not easy.

So I am going to spend my Friday looking for other jobs and at whatever other options may be available. If the thread is still going when any occur, I will post updates.

I suspect that after Friday evening, you'll be seeing things differently.